Just Launched New Site, Thoughts Please

by 13 replies
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My father and I have been working the last few months to launch his new site. It went live a few days ago. Please let me know what you think can as far as what is good and what can be improved.

Thank you.

NewYouKungFu - Online Fitness. Get fit with a monthly program based on Shaolin Kung Fu.
#copywriting #critique #launched #site #thoughts
  • The optin form which pops up on the home page ( which shows FREE ) is not sliding up or down when some one scrolls up or down. ( most of the websites have this feature ). Your website is good in terms of content.
  • Well ... you did ask, so I take it you're open to constructive criticism... so here goes.

    Please take the following critique in perspective. Your website is TONS better than many I've seen ... but I do think you can get a lot more from it, commercially speaking.

    Here are my comments:

    I find your content confusing. The headline, about the free stuff is crystal clear, but then when I do as you ask and scroll down, there's a lot of tightly written content, (should have more "white space" in my opinion) and somewhere in the middle I'm told the cost is $97.

    I couldn't see a buy button, (it's far too far down the page), and I'm confused about why I have to pay $97 to get the free stuff. What's free and what am I paying for?

    You'll lose loads of people who never scroll far enough to see the buy button.

    Also, your "featured in magazines" should be at the top. Social proof is very powerful. All your testimonials are well below the fold too and should be much more prominent.

    "Words tell, but stories sell," is what you need to bear in mind.

    Also, the bit about the book being banned in jail - that would've made a great headline, don't you think? (And leave out, "sorry to break this to you" - there's nothing to apologise for and it breaks the flow of your message!)

    - kind of thing.

    Maybe not. But that's fairly eye catching.

    Then, there's the benefits.

    Now ... I know nothing about your market or technique ... but I'd say you need to go one step further.

    e.g. What's the benefit of being "balanced, rooted and centred?" Will I be able to run faster, pick up more women, eat more potato chips?

    See what I mean? I don't get those things you've put there as strongly desirable benefits in their own right.

    Go through them one at a time.

    Next ...

    There should be more photos. (Or maybe video.) This is a very visual subject.

    Can you show me a picture of someone with "toned and energized muscles"? Or show me someone with amazing "seizing and controlling strength"?

    Okay ... I think I've probably burst your bubble enough! I know how long these sites take to make and that's clearly a labour of love - so congratulations to you both.

    It isn't terrible, so please don't think that. You've done a truly awesome job. But casting a marketing eye over it, I think you'll get a lot more business from it if you make some of the tweaks I've suggested.

    I hope that's helpful ... and as I said, you did ask!
    • [ 2 ] Thanks
  • for the ken seto testimony,

    you misspelled "City Council"

    and, i like that banned by prisons, too: "This Book Is Banned In Jails"
  • I didn't see add to card,or buy now ,or a video presentation of the website.instead there were ,,LET’S DO THIS - I WANT THE KILLER BENEFITS OF SHAOLIN FITNESS SECRETS COACHING!''which i figured out that this is actually a link to checkout page .
    Try to fix it.
  • Thank you very much for the replies. My dad is very appreciative of all the ideas. We are back in brainstorming mode and getting ready to make the site even better.

    As always, we are still open to any comments and constructive criticism.

    Thank you all.
  • Even with the suggestions in this thread, the site is still really good. As was already mentioned, you're way ahead of a lot of sites out there. I hope you're actively promoting it currently! People can spend too much time trying to get every little detail perfect before taking action.

    I would suggest that you start promoting, and working on getting traffic. Then continue to tweak and optimize as you go!
  • Banned
    Very quickly...the top of the page (and piss that opt-in off btw) is very weak. It starts to get interesting here...and this is the hook -
    • [ 2 ] Thanks
    • [2] replies
    • The site isn't too shabby, a couple things though:

      Get rid of the opt-in form. Completely ruins the initial impact visitors get. I think a better idea would be to add that as a special offer to purchasing your product "Plus get this e-book" kind of thing.

      You claim it's free, and then tell people to pay 97 dollars. Where did that come from?

      A lot of people skim through sales pages, and those who do aren't going to have a clue what they get from your product. It's all over the place. The first thing I thought was "What am I paying 97 dollars for? The membership? The 'free' videos?" -- at this point it's too much work to find out and they will click away.
    • What he said.

      Also consider adding a trial--maybe a $7 trial for 7 days.
  • I like the website, and OP definitely does better than many others out there.

    I found it confusing, the header promises free courses, but than I have to pay $97, and on top of it there apparently some catch that some videos will be limited to 30 minutes. It is just too confusing.

    Another thing, it felt to me like some claims OP never backed up, like 40 years of experience, banned by prison book etc...

    And final one, at least for me the language was a bit dry and lacking emotions/feelings and I did not feel author personality in all of it.
  • Banned
    That initial "I'm giving away over $500 worth of my very best fitness and combat programs absolutely free" is what we call "Bait & Switch". Not on. Very naughty. In fact what you're oiffering is a bonus when they cough up $97.

    Don't treat your customers like idiots. They're not. And that will come back to bite you on the bum.
  • You assume that cost is the motivating factor.

    Not an expert in that niche, but I would assume it's more along the lines of:

    * Too many choices- What makes this program better than the others? Will it cut to the chase?

    * They say it will take a long time to get good. I don't have a long time. Can you prove them wrong?

    * I don't think of martial arts as something to learn from a video. I think I'll get frustrated, or distracted, and feel bad about myself like with the last 3 products I bought.


    You fail to address your target market. It's not a beginner program, yet I have to read the whole page to figure that out. "Is this product talking to me, about me?" Is one of the first questions people ask.

    Your benefits are weak. I don't imagine anyone visits your site thinking "I need to improve my back bridge, or give my deck squat new springy power". Not to mention, you start talking benefits about half a page too late.

    What you can do for them should always overshadow who you are unless you happen to be a celebrity.

    Also, might wanna separate the New You and Kungfu. I read it as Newyouk which made me think you were NY based and mocking FOB english.

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