Salescopy Review....Please Help!

10 replies
I have had a site up for about a year and only had 6 sales.

Get about 50 visitors a day.

Was hoping you guys could have a look at my site and give me some of that Warrior Forum feedback love?

DefineMyPurpose.com

Sorry...haven't posted enough to make it an actual link.


Thanks guys!
#reviewplease #salescopy
  • Profile picture of the author Treborrevo
    Your opt-in box is cannabalizing sales. Land page should be one or the other.

    Headline is too "technical"
    "Learn how to find & define your purpose with my easy to follow, step by step system, so you can be confident you're doing what you were created to do"

    Your audience isn't looking to "define" their purpose. More likely to want to "Discover Their Purpose"

    I'd de-clutter the headline... Make it about discovering purpose with simple system... or about feeling confident...

    Also, I've seen some testing in this market. You have "What you were created to do". Try testing... "What you were born to do"

    Just some first glance suggestions.

    Oh, your layout has a lot of "vampire" elements that are sucking attention away from the sales letter - get all those links and stuff outa there
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    Robert Stover
    RobertStover.com

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  • Profile picture of the author procopywriter
    Robert & Paul are right on the money. This is way too technical ("Purpose Discovery Process?") and doesn't come even close to the kind of soulful, spiritual connection you need to be making with your prospects.

    This is a market I understand, because I've been through my own self-discovery process--but from an intuitive perspective rather than following any particular system.

    Your prospect is spiritual (at least in some capacity)... believes in greater things... wants to feel like he's living his highest purpose and calling... that he's on track to fulfilling his destiny and becoming everything he was meant to be.

    You need to be using language your readers will resonate with... words that pop out at me are "explore", "journey", "soul", "transform", "become", "highest", "adventure", "purpose", "consciousness", "universe", "spiritual", "peace, love, and joy", "serenity", etc.

    There are a LOT of people searching for their life purpose... and actually searching for that phrase on google. If you can truly connect with them and demonstrate you can lead them through the process, you'll have a winner.

    Your message just isn't hitting the target.
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    Joshua Aaron Stanley, The 'Spiritual' Copywriter:
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  • Profile picture of the author rbthanders
    It's very busy looking.

    I would get rid of the adsense, and as others mentioned - decide what the goal of the specific page is: to collect opt-ins and then send them a marketing sequence, or to get the immediate sale.

    The amount of "clickable" choices is really overwhelming to me, and I would probably go with a squeeze page up front, I think.
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    Affiliates earn 75% per sale - converts in almost ANY niche - TBT Pre-Launch Blog
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  • Profile picture of the author ragnartm
    remove the sidebar, you can include the optin form in another way, that looks much better, and also adsense? Do you really want 0.10$ a click when you can make a 30$ sale? And I'd choose 1 video, the one you feel is the best, and stick it right there at the top. For the copy itself - Go with what the acknowledged copywriters tell you, that's probably the best advise I can give you.
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    Ragnar.

    Quality over quantity. Hire me to write highly shareable, user focused blog posts or articles.

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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    Okay...
    First, get a pro copywriter. Play up the claim that you've taught 50,000 people. Don't lead with 'purpose' copy. Mainstream people don't have a clue as to purpose or what it means to them.

    They are also clueless about self-esteem, personal power, their inner self, and a whole bunch of small-niche, though, relevant interests. Go with a broader approach and only mention purpose a time or two in the sales stuff.

    Just because you've discovered your thing doesn't mean everyone else has or will be jumping for joy with you. You're going to have to sell the benefits of purpose long before you go giving 'purpose' the neon lights. 'Purpose' got 2.7 million searches last month on Google - way too broad. 'Life purpose' got 165,000 - that's your market.

    I've seen it again and again. People latch on to a small niche in personal development or spiritual, or attraction, or whatever and get excited. Then they find out the little niche won't generate a buck.

    The truth is, it will generate a lot of money if presented properly. What are people looking for when they do a search on purpose, self-esteem, avoiding procrastination, or any of the other personal development specialties?

    The same thing. They're all looking for the same answer - they're seeking to figure it all out and manage their own lives for a change... a better way to put it, they want to be in control for the first time in their lives.

    And they can do that with purpose, self-esteem, abiding by the law of attraction, or any of the other true paths. Your job is to pick a path and monazite it in a way your customers believe and trust, and in the process, you don't get too attached to the name of the niche...

    The truth is, all personal development niches lead to the same place, or should, that being 'happiness' or 'tranquility.' My point is, people want self esteem, but don't want to be reminded they don't have it. They take that too personally and they won't buy.

    They also want 'purpose' but they're not quite sure what is or why they need it. And... a sales letter isn't the place for that lesson.

    So the answer is to promise the reader everything they need that having an 'on purpose' life will give them. People aren't necessarily interested in the 'how' but rather the result. Show them the result of an 'on purpose' lifestyle in your sales letter. Show it in loud colorful metaphors and by other imaginative methods. Just show it. Period.

    Enough said. Good luck.
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  • Profile picture of the author RKCastillo
    Made a sale today!

    Really appreciate everyone's help!

    Don't know if it was a fellow Warrior or if the new headline made all the difference?
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