What do you think of this landing page?

by LMC
6 replies
Hey,

Simple question, what do you think of this landing page?

My goal in writing the page was to get deep, thoughtful, and embed into the readers mind it's time to take the next step.

What are your feelings?

Your thoughts are much appreciated thanks!
#landing #page
  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    If it's the one in your sig I wouldn't expect much.

    You need to offer something people want. Easy
    money from their ideas is a good one.

    People only respond to advertising which offers them
    a clear advantage. They don't respond for fun, to be
    provoked, or to be put in a situation where they have
    to think for themselves - they respond because they
    want the easy life, because they want instant relief
    from their problems.
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    • Profile picture of the author Tracey_Meagher
      The copy did arouse my curiosity but I am an ideas person and have far too many. Lots get wasted so the promise of something that can help me develop and focus my ideas will appeal to me.

      BUT the site lacked authority. It tells me nothing about who you are or what qualifies you to give me the expertise I am looking for. Maybe a photo, a small piece of audio or video would make a difference.

      Also I am unclear reading the copy what benefits I will gain by signing up.
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      • Profile picture of the author RentItNow
        "help, by sending you stories, tips, techniques, and theories on producing a better business life for yourself. Helping you find resources to building six figure business with limited to no assets."

        Ok, I am not trying to tear this down as I would be a target for this but this is the only sentence that really tells me what the page's purpose is...otherwise it is too much emotional touchy feely mumbo-jumbo.

        Maybe it's just me, but I read the thing three times and still don't get it.

        John
        Signature
        I have no agenda but to help those in the same situation. This I feel will pay the bills.
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  • Profile picture of the author LMC
    It is in my sig...

    Loren,

    I completely agree, however, I don't want those people on my list, I'm looking for individuals that want to learn and enjoy learning, not freebie seekers.

    That is who the copy is written for...

    Like everything, I guess I will test out to style copy's...
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  • Profile picture of the author Macy
    I like it, I'd sign up.

    One thing I noticed in the header image it says "just dont think about it".

    Shouldn't it read "don't just think about it"?

    It's good though.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kyle Tully
    Originally Posted by LMC View Post

    Hey,

    Simple question, what do you think of this landing page?

    My goal in writing the page was to get deep, thoughtful, and embed into the readers mind it's time to take the next step.

    What are your feelings?

    Your thoughts are much appreciated thanks!
    The language throughout is kinda clumsy and doesn't flow. Read it out loud and see how many times you slip up, or better yet, get someone else to read it out loud and note where they mess up.

    I guess it depends on exactly who you're targeting... but the headline/subhead are going to alienate most people. Because most people don't believe they have any good ideas.

    Finally, you're "selling" too much on the landing page. (And not doing a great job of it.) All you need to do is tease and entice, give them a solid benefit for signing up and that's it. You don't need to sell them on your whole philosophy just yet.
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