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please critique my ad swap email

by Simon Stanley
3 replies
Hey guys,

I have a big ad swap coming round soon, here is a copy of
the email I will be sending, please could you critique it. I
would be very thankful.

-------------------------------------


SUBJECT: What? He's giving away a $531.65 Adwords Campaign..


Hi FIRSTNAME,

I had to rush you this email to you
soon as I could, I think this guy has
totally *LOST* it.

What person in his right mind would
just give away a Adwords Campaign that has
just banked $531.65 in 20 days...?

Simon from 'Adwords Roadmap' would, he is
giving you the EXACT keywords, ads, and
crazy-converting landing page he used for
you to steal the whole thing.
Just copy and paste it all inside here:

http://www.AdwordsRoadmap.com

And to make the whole situation even
more ridiculous, he is also giving away
the sneaky top-secret trick he uses to
uncover these little-known Adwords
profit-pockets on demand, and then
blow the competition out the water.

http://www.AdwordsRoadmap.com

One thing's for sure Simon knows
Google Adwords inside out and you
really need to see this with your own
eyes to believe it.

Download his entire Adwords campaign
(including all keywords, ads and
landing page) for fre.e before he realises
what he has done:

http://www.AdwordsRoadmap.com

---------------------------------------

Thanks for your help guys!

Simon
#crit #critique #email #swap
  • Profile picture of the author jgrink
    I had to rush you this email to you soon as I could,...
    I had to rush this email to you as soon as I could (colon or dash)...
    What person in his right mind would
    just give away a Adwords Campaign that has
    just banked $531.65 in 20 days...?
    Lose one of the 'just's.
    Simon from 'Adwords Roadmap' would,
    The comma isn't right. I'd suggest a semi-colon or dash.
    ...he used for
    you to steal...
    ????
    One thing's for sure...
    Semi-colon, dash after 'sure'.
    Download his entire Adwords campaign
    (including all keywords, ads and
    landing page) for fre.e before he realises
    what he has done:
    ...free...realizes...

    That should get you started.
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    • Profile picture of the author danyray
      If it goes to the right target audience, it sure raises enough curiosity to click on the link. After some grammatical and punctuation corrections as mentioned above, you can get started.

      Good luck

      Dany
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      • Profile picture of the author Bill Jeffels
        Originally Posted by danyray View Post

        If it goes to the right target audience, it sure raises enough curiosity to click on the link. After some grammatical and punctuation corrections as mentioned above, you can get started.

        Good luck

        Dany
        Hi Simon

        Do what jgrink and scadwal told you to do. I think you raise alot of curiousity in your email. I really like the phrase " sneaky top secret trick". And the specific $531.65 is great. It really builds believability.

        I think your going to have success with this email.

        One thing I might test is your subject title. Try testing "Why is he giving away a 531.65 adwords campaign". One word can make a big difference.

        Other then that it looks good.

        All the best

        Bill Jeffels
        Signature
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