Please critique my sales page

14 replies
Thank you all for your help!
#critique #page #sales
  • To get people to pay the money you're asking…

    They will need a lot more solid, precise and credible information to persuade them.

    Remember your audience knows the benefits of SEO.

    What they want is rock solid evidence that you'll get them the results.

    And a much better answer to their main question - "Who are you and why should they listen to you?"

    With a good sprinkling of testimonials - proving you do deliver (one testimonial isn't enough).

    You've hidden your USP's in the copy.

    Page 1 and Page 1 ranked in top 5.

    And there's not a lot of point in saying it - unless you guarantee it.

    Because that's what your clients will want.

    You also need to fix your site - when you click for "more info" on the packages a 404 sign appears.


    Steve
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9374965].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
      Banned
      Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

      Remember your audience knows the benefits of SEO.

      What they want is rock solid evidence that you'll get them the results.
      This.

      It will surely take a whole lot more than one loose testimonial to interest people in services priced at $999/$2,000 per month???

      In this price-range, you surely need to be answering a lot of potential objections with the copy? "Who are you and why should I be impressed with you?" is just the first of those?

      .
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9375104].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Copydog
    "Dominate Google" in your headline
    needs to be made more specific.

    What exactly does this mean to the reader?

    Plus "dominate" is an abstract word – better
    to use a concrete PICTURE word bursting
    with feeling...
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9378503].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author pewpewpewmonkeys
    "Dominate Google" in your headline
    needs to be made more specific.

    What exactly does this mean to the reader?
    That google's been naughty.


    But yeah, if someone is needing SEO services or if you're selling them on the idea that they need the services, then they might not know what it means to "Dominate Google."
    Signature
    Some cause-oriented hackers recently hacked one of my websites. So I researched what they're about and then donated a large sum of money to the entity they hate the most.

    The next time they hack one of my websites I'm going to donate DOUBLE.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9381764].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author GloriasRosse
    It looks nice to me.

    But my personal opinion is that you should think again on your name (STRALA MARKETING).
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9382063].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author sethczerepak
    I like the screen shot of the traffic increase. Get a few more and make a video.

    But you really need to get more specific with your claims, cause my BS meter maxed out at "Dominate Google and have an endless flow."

    Endless flow sounds like BS. It's not believable. Grab some stats from your past customers and insert them into your title....like:

    Want a 53% Increase in New Leads?

    Just make sure it's new leads they want. If it's new sales, say "New Sales..." but be specific.

    Remember, people don't buy drills, they buy holes. Business don't care about dominating Google.

    They care about getting ___% More leads and ___% more sales. Yes, one leads to the other...but don't make people work to make the connection. Believe me, it's a stretch for someone whose mind is already saturated with information.

    Be specific.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9383140].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author jjosephs
    The big green bar is functionally useless. Doesn't even have the navigation inside.

    I would change "Our goal..." to something like "We make you more money, simple."

    Your subheaders aren't really features or benefits. Watch your wording.

    Eg. Let's take "let your customers find you". Are you playing hide n seek with your customers, or trying to get customers?

    US launch promo? Huh?

    Your packages should have a much stronger call to action than "more info". Put more info under the bullets rather than making them dig for it. Let them act now (strong button) or click here for more info (small hyperlink)

    Dominate and crush are intense words not suiting the tone or imagery of the site.

    Algorythms are when Al Gore plays the drums. The word you want is Algorithm. Those little errors hurt credibility.

    All that being said, the site looks clean, modern and inviting, which is a good start.
    Signature
    Marketing for ACTION & REACTION.
    Roll Out "The Cannon"
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9383717].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Copydog
    And one more thing...

    Your testimonial is hard to read:

    • it's in italics

    • it's gray text against a gray background

    Also a good idea to put quote marks at the
    beginning and end of it.

    Plus, if you can put a photo of the person,
    that would be more powerful.

    And say what the person's job is, and give
    the company name.

    Will pack more of a credibility punch.

    Now 11:20 PM here in the UK, so time to
    say goodnight to all my WF colleagues.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9384298].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author belgianguy
    Thanks everyone for the great input.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9386508].message }}
  • The headline doesn't draw you in! There are 100 other things but if the headline doesn't draw you in they don't matter!
    Signature

    Join Next Live Mastermind Zoominar 100% Real World Secrets to Get Up And Running. Are you Stuck? Don’t miss it www.MonthlyMastermind.org
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9411168].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author fulfilledlife
    For a price like that I would like to see actual established brand, proof that your method is working, reviews and some big names that you worked with.

    Finally, only single page sales letter simply will not do it, I would like to see a website and have the sense that there actual legitimate business organization. Because I would want to get sense of who you actually are.

    P.S: I don't know if OP has all those things or not, I am just saying that I would like to see those things before even considering becoming a client.
    Signature

    Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value - Albert Einstein

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9411854].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ThomasOMalley
    I highly recommend you read Dan Furman's book, Do the Web Write, for excellent information on how to create a good website for selling services.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9411906].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author beastwood
    Banned
    in terms of the design, your website looks good, however, a good design does not exactly equate to credibility. add more credibility to your webpage by adding testimonials and show them what you can really do. Good luck!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9412088].message }}

Trending Topics