Copywriting Critique Requested (Thanks In Advance)

by 5 replies
6
I have a squash fitness website with a salespage for my, so far, one product. Please offer any constructive criticism:

Squash Fitness Workout :: Squash Core Foundation

All input welcome. Thanks.
#copywriting #advance #copywriting #critique #requested
  • Oh, then I'd rather look at his instead.

    What happens if your reader has never seen the Matrix?

    Your video is poorly lit and there's an echo, which is really annoying.
  • It's pretty good. One idea you can split test do one more copy with no navigation on top just the sales letter with a banner on top, see how it effects conversion. Headline is probably good for that audience but keep testing. Good luck.
  • I have no idea about this since I'm a Rugby player BUT.... I do know squash is a fast paced game. I would of put an energetic video right up front for say 60 seconds that leads into the copy. Bust a move so to speak, then show us how we too can bust a move. Just an idea.

    James
    • [1] reply
    • Thanks for the observations pewpewpew, much appreciated. It'll take some time to put a better video up.
      And thanks for the input James. I was going for something more direct like Elliot Hulse has here: Strength Camp Online "Tribe of Strength" --- maybe I missed the mark though.

      @HelpingYouBeAnExpert I was thinking something similar - take away as many distractions as possible, right? I'm using Wordpress - any idea how to remove a navbar and/or header for individual pages?

      One question I have is about the best place for the testimonial. At the moment I have it about halfway down the page just after I first show the bundled graphic for the product. Could it be better at the top/bottom of the page, somewhere else?
      • [ 1 ] Thanks
  • You may be right on the mark for all I know. I am totally guessing for that niche. I just know that if I am looking to get motivated (I read the 4 Hour Body - Tim Ferris and dropped 70lbs): then generally I want to see the other guy sweating. But that's just me. I wish you fortune (no luck involved) with your project brother. Boooom!!

    James
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