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Need Help With Sales Page Please!

by Shane F
12 replies
Hi all. I really need some help with this sales page. I've had over 400 visitors and only 2 sales, worse then that is, only 8 email sign-ups.

I'm willing to social bookmark bump a site of yours also for the help. Just PM me the URL and what site you prefer I will do it asap.

Thanks everyone if you have the time to help me out a little. Please check it out and let me know, even if it is something small, I would really appreciate it.

Thanks again, Shane

Get Recruited To Play College Athletics
#page #sales
  • Profile picture of the author Kevin Lam
    One question: Have you tried targeting visitors from a landing/squeeze page first?

    You need to qualify your visitors to really zero in and target who you're going to sell to. Until you do that, your sales and conversions will stay as low as it is now.

    What kind of traffic are you getting now? Direct, referral, SE, TE, etc.?

    Just a few pointers:

    1) Your price is shown too soon. You haven't even fully validated the price and product yet and you're already show the price. Bad move and a sales killer.

    2) Make the page more narrow and easier to read. The eyes are having to move side-to-side too much. It becomes a bit overwhelming for the average reader.

    3) Present a better closing. The closing is SOOOOO weak. A list of what the book will work for is a waste of space. It's better used towards the center of the sales letter.

    The design itself looks great, but you've failed to validate the price and you've failed to present the price at the right time.
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    • Profile picture of the author Shane F
      Kevin, thanks so much for the help!

      No, we haven't tried a squeeze page or landing page yet.

      -Point on the price well taken. Will have designer move that. As well as make the make narrower. I just went back and realized the eyes do have to move back and forth. I never thought of that.

      -Ill move the list of sports up into the middle and re-work it.

      -Traffic now is weak 20 visitors a day max from SE and Referral. Will start adwords again when I have confidence in the pages closing ability.

      -I'll take a second look at the closing also.

      Thanks again for all of your advice Kevin!
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  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    No risk-reversal. Ie. guarantee or differed-billing.

    $37 is a lot to ask for a PDF - it's a lot for a hardcover
    book by a real author with credentials in this area.

    IM people are used to paying $40 for reports, but
    most people are not. They think you are gonna
    rip them off, so you need to deal with that.

    The more risk you remove from the transaction
    the more sales you will make, in general.

    This salesletter has a lot of other problems as well.
    Kevin touched on several. In short - you need to
    build desire structurally and introduce your product
    as the logical solution.
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    • Profile picture of the author Shane F
      Good advice Loren. I will strengthen the money back gaurantee. We originally had it priced at $67 but dropped it to $37. There are competitors selling ebooks at $97 in this market.

      But I guess if we are not selling, then $37 is too high.

      Love Amherst btw, was a Grad Assistant there for football at UMass. Ate and drank way too much at the Hangar.
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  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    It's not the price so much as the value you bring. Your
    $97 competitors may not be selling anything at all. If
    they are buying print ads they probably are, but with
    internet stuff a salesletter is no indication of an offer
    anybody is buying, just an indication that somebody
    wants to sell.
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    • Profile picture of the author Shane F
      I never thought of it like that. Price and salespage are no indication of sales.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kevin Lam
    Loren's dead on with that point. Thanks for adding on valuable advice, Loren.

    In addition to what Loren said, I'd like to add that you should consider your target market. These are mainly a bunch of kids who want to go to college, right? Why would they want to dish out $37? That is why you must validate your price with enough value.

    One thing I'd like to see on there more is testimonials. I know you have one from a client, one from a recruiter and one from a non-relevant person, but people need to believe that this works. That's what is going to really convince them for something like this. Good luck though.
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    • Profile picture of the author Shane F
      Kevin, thanks for that piece of advice also. I have my designer changing the page as we speak. I will get some more testimonials up on the page also.

      I am talking with my partner on this book. I think having one of you help us out as a client would really be a long term benefit. I'll email you all this week after we get the initial changes done and have a chance to talk it over with him also.

      Thanks again, Shane
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  • Profile picture of the author Kevin Lam
    Hey Shane,

    Good to know your name. I hope it works out for you. I'm having a WSO going on right now if you want to take advantage of that. And if you need SEO/SEM work, you can submit a free analysis on my site.

    Good luck with everything.
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  • Profile picture of the author RentItNow
    Just a structural comment but when the page loads I see the header (good design) my eye goes to the ebook, then I have questions. Is it free? I cant see a signup for it on page load.

    I think this should be your lead..."Each year colleges award more than $1.2 Billion in scholarship and financial aid directly related to your ability and willingness to play collegiate athletics for them!"
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    I have no agenda but to help those in the same situation. This I feel will pay the bills.
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    • Profile picture of the author Shane F
      RentItNow- Good advice- I think that would look better as the heading. I will add that to the list.

      As far as the sign-up goes, we are also redesigning that, making a larger DOWNLOAD NOW button on the bottom of the page.

      Thanks
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  • Profile picture of the author JackPowers
    I liked the first impression of your site, the colors and design was pleasing and authorative.

    I think for something like this, you could use an 'insider reveals all' angle. I would be interested to hear the top copywriters take on this.

    If you could do so without blatantly lying, how about something with 'A Former NCAA Coach Reveals The Secrets Of The Recruiting Game - What Your College Advisor And Coach Won't Tell You!"

    I don't know, I am a newbie in direct sales, I just think you need more hype for high school kids to pay attention and appealing to the confusion and doubt they may have could work for you.
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