suggestions, thoughts

by 5 replies
8
Hey I have a new assignment and I wanted to know your thoughts on what I have so far. The assignment is a "monument" in front of the company's building. The company has a showroom of high-quality appliances. The "monument," is a large sign covering a major road. For all intensive purposes, this is a mini billboard.

The two important points that need to be conveyed are that it is an appliance showroom and that it is open to everyone (it is not restricted to those in the trade).

Right now it is simply "Appliance Showroom
Open to the Public"

This might be effective, but is there a more inviting way to word it?

Character length is not rigid, but keeping it close to 33 would be ideal.

Thanks all in advance
#copywriting #suggestions #thoughts
  • Look man, I get that this is a place for advice and talking about copy.

    We're not here to help you write/advise you on the best way to complete every single assignment. You want that? Hire a mentor or pay for a critique.

    Maybe if I saw you contributing to discussions more, I'd be feeling less snarky. But I literally only see you on here when you're asking us to help you write something.
    • [ 4 ] Thanks
    • [1] reply
    • You go.

      Plus, most of what gets made public on this forum, in the way of suggestions, gets picked up by by those who visit and never offer any feedback or advice. So, anything someone came up with that would be a good idea wouldn't be original because it'd be copied.

      Might not really matter in this case, but there are those who lurk just to steal ideas. I've watched it happen over and over again.

      I realize a lot of ad campaigns get copied, but usually it's after the big bang. By the time they get talked about and copied, the initiator of the idea has moved on to another campaign. Most of the good stuff never gets mentioned here until the campaign is over.

      When you hire your own mentor or pay for an offline critique, you get original stuff. You get a jump on the competition. The big money is made off the original idea, then all the sucker fish swim around eating the scraps.

      Not sure why this guy even takes jobs if he can't come up with his own stuff.

      Did a post on ancient secrets and all that covered the pineal gland. So happens, I overheard an infomercial this morning that was going into it. Coincidence? Don't know, but it made me wonder.

      Don't know how many times I've seen a post on here, then see a blogger cover practically the same thing. Don't know if it was the blogger or the article writers that spin articles.

      I've come to the conclusion most of the bloggers out there, and most of the so called copywriters, basically just steal ideas and sell them. It's the whole IM mentality that gets sold through WSO's and all. Quite sure it's just for quick money because those who lack an imagination or creativity will always be forced to follow the leaders. Doesn't matter much for those just after a quick buck though.

      I'd be more willing to give the OP a break if he had already came up with some ideas and posted them asking which ones we liked. Once again in this case he wanted the work done for him.

      Oh well, I blabber on.

      Thanks for the post.
      • [ 3 ] Thanks
      • [1] reply
  • Don't take this the wrong way, but at the moment it seems like you're just popping up on here every time you have an assignment and are basically asking people to do it for you.

    You haven't contributed anything on any other threads and haven't hit the thanks button once for any of the suggestions people have already given you.

    I'm sure you're not intending for it to come across this way, but you can only take so much without offering anything in return. After all, people on here charge money for what you are asking us to do for free.
    • [ 2 ] Thanks
    • [1] reply
    • Sorry if it seems that way. I will be more considerate and contribute in the future.
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    suggestions, thoughts

    Hey I have a new assignment and I wanted to know your thoughts on what I have so far. The assignment is a "monument" in front of the company's building. The company has a showroom of high-quality appliances. The "monument," is a large sign covering a major road. For all intensive purposes, this is a mini billboard. The two important points that need to be conveyed are that it is an appliance showroom and that it is open to everyone (it is not restricted to those in the trade).