House For Rent Niche - Please Review.

by 4 replies
5
Ok, I think I am ready for some critiquing. I can take it! Hit me with your best/worst comments!

Page 1 is the original copy: How to Rent Your House Now! Property Rental Secrets Revealed by Rental Expert!

Revised copy with scheda's headline (thanks scheda): How To Rent Your House Now - House For Rent Secrets REVEALED!

I also use another site to funnel people in from Kijiji, Craigslist, etc.: FREE ARTICLE - Top 10 Reasons Your House is Not Renting - House For Rent Secrets! - How To Rent Your House Now!
#copywriting #house #niche #rent #review
  • These suggestions are mainly design points:

    1. Make your pre-head a little bigger and your headline a little smaller so you at least get a little body copy above the fold. (More that two headline words / line would be good to, I think.)

    2. The coupon box to the right has a ton of white space at the bottom, which I would lose if I were you. Also, maybe test switching the "Absolutely Free ebook" title and graphic so they're above the opt-in box, not below.

    3. "People will be lined up to rent your competitive property" is not, strictly speaking, a secret. Neither is "For every questionable sales offer...proceed it".

    4. I don't want to manage properties, clean toilets, paint walls, etc. It sounds like a lot of work. You've just scared the crap out of me.

    5. Maybe you could turn your experience into more concrete benefits, like "After screening over 300 prospective renters, I discovered the magic question you should always ask to know if a renter will treat your property with respect... or destroy all your furniture."

    6. Take the quote about "applying even one of these rental secrets..." and put it directly under your headshot.

    7. Your PS feels like you're shouting at me. I'd drop the all caps.

    8. On the download/upsell page, you're giving me the option to download at the top of the page. I think you'll get higher readership for your upsell and more sales if you put the download button at the bottom of the page. And don't make it so damn attractive. You don't really want me to click it, do you? A simple text link would do the job: "No, thanks, I just want my free guide".

    9. If you could attach a well-known credible source like Forbes to the big sign that says that rentals are booming it could help prospects buy into the idea right from the start.

    On the plus side, I'm really curious about the wax thing. Come to think of it, I'm quite curious about almost all the little bullets. Especially the FOR RENT sign.

    And I've just rethought number 8. Maybe giving them the option to download at the top of the page is the way to go - that way you're not shoving the upsell down their throats. It's one to test. Maybe some of the many better talents on the forum can advise you on that.

    Hope that was useful.

    Gil-Ad









  • As a squeeze page it's a little elaborate and the layout is
    jarring. You are making a real hard-sell out of a free ebook -

    What's your actual product you make money on?

    ... oh - I see. I opted-in.

    Ho-hum... I'm non-plussed (confused) by the offer
    and layout. I don't think you make a compelling case
    to go from "free 32 pages" to "Buy now for $47" -
    but the market may feel different.

    Needs a lot of work - and I am not sure this
    approach will work for you... just a gut feeling.

    The offer feels (to me)... unbalanced, like the
    logic doesn't match-up.

    I'm funny that way. I like the colors though. The
    ecover is cheesy-looking, partially because of the
    wrap-around - though there are other reasons too.

    Why do you call it an ebook? What if I don't know
    what an ebook is?

    I dunno man... you think people are unaware they could
    truck down to the library or Borders and get a book
    on how to do landlording?

    My dad owns rental properties. I've done just about
    everything pertaining to landlording personally - and
    I'm just kind of underwhelmed by your argument. If
    I were inexperienced I dunno if I would go hunting for
    ebooks - homeowners tend to be pretty serious-minded
    about their houses - you may plant the seed that
    there are "secrets" to doing it but to my mind you've
    just set the thought in my head that I should go to the
    library... not buy your ebook.
















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