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So much for list relationships, I just bought from a spammer

by IMMer1975
8 replies
I know there have been many discussions about how frequently one should email your list, and the importance of building a relationship with your list.

Well, today something happened to me which had made me question the whole "relationship with your list" thing. Hear me out:

I received an email for a MMO product (FB Advertising related). It was from some guy I'd never heard of (the email)...Let's call him Dave. I know for a fact I didn't subscribe to Dave's list (at least intentionally...). I also know Dave has built no relationship with me at all. In fact, I couldn't tell you if I received any emails from Dave before.

Instead, the message was compelling and I bit. I did a little bit of due diligence to make sure the product truly existed and read some online reviews. I bought the product. Dave earned his affiliate commission. (Perhaps another surprising aspect of this story is that the product actually didn't suck). Zero pre-existing relationship.

Conversely, I receive a number of emails from people who are clearly trying to build a relationship with me. I say this because I start recognizing the names. Now, just recognizing the names doesn't imply a relationship, but they're trying. Here's the thing: I haven't bought a single thing from them. In fact, I mentally discount their emails already. Mostly this is because they think that sending me offers every day is relationship building (hint: it's not).

Anyway, my observation is merely that either the relationship isn't that important, or that most people don't in fact know how to build a relationship, or that I'm a complete idiot for buying from what was effectively a spam email
#bought #list #relationships #spammer
  • Profile picture of the author kevineverett
    If you do not bother opening these e-mails from people you have subscribed to, then they have not succeeded in building a relationship with you at all.

    I always look at the sender of the e-mail and usually ignore the subject line completely. If I know the sender has provided valuable information previously, I will open their e-mail. I don't care if they try to sell me something as long as they get the balance right between promoting and giving. They are in the business of making money after all.

    When I subscribe to a new list, I will open the first few communications to get an idea of how the sender approaches the balance between promoting and giving.

    As far as unsolicited e-mails, I bin them straight away because even if the offer is great, as in your case, I do not want to encourage SPAM by giving the sender a return on their investment. If enough people stop buying, they will stop sending (no ROI, or too little).
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  • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
    Banned
    Originally Posted by IMMer1975 View Post

    Dave earned his affiliate commission.
    Mission accomplished. Dave couldn't care less about having a relationship with you. He is perfectly content to get money from you only once and then move on to the next victim. He couldn't care less if you two cross paths ever again. He has your money. You are of no further use to him.

    Cheers. - Frank

    P.S. One other thing to keep in mind. Now that ol' Dave has victimized you once, you have surely been placed on his 'sucker list.' (No offense intended, but that is how Dave now views you.) He may return someday to try to bilk you, again, since he perceives you to be an easy mark. Rest assured, though, that he will not be using any of the same information with which he scammed you, the first time. Remember the ol' "Fool me once," maxim. :-)
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  • Profile picture of the author MrFume
    Yeah there are a few ways of looking at it - Big Frank makes a salient point (as he often does) this guy is an opportunist-which after all is one definition of spamming, but if you found the product to be useful, and you did not mind getting the message (clearly you didn't) well no harm in that.
    I think this idea of a 'relationship' is somewhat overblown anyway, I mean how intimately can you get to 'know' someone via email? What tends to happen with the more savvy marketers is they don't really 'care' about their list members, they just seek to provide a service, entertainment & information based on experience - this is why you should not try to please everyone, but just be yourself, give em some personality, tell them what you know and everyone benefits...that's the idea.
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    • Profile picture of the author kevineverett
      I agree with both comments above. If you found the offer to be useful then win-win for both you and "Dave".

      I personally prefer to give back to a marketer who has at least tried to make an effort to build a relationship or provide value for my subscription.

      Of course, everybody is different, and some may see no problem with the "Daves" of the IM world. It is my own personal preference not to encourage them. At the end of the day though, you're happy, Dave's happy, so no harm, no foul in this case.
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    • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
      Banned
      Originally Posted by MrFume View Post

      Big Frank makes a salient point (as he often does)
      I'm sure you meant to say, "as he always does," but it's early on a Sunday, so I will overlook that major faux pas. lol

      Cheers. - Frank
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    Originally Posted by IMMer1975 View Post

    I know there have been many discussions about how frequently one should email your list, and the importance of building a relationship with your list.

    Well, today something happened to me which had made me question the whole "relationship with your list" thing. Hear me out:

    I received an email for a MMO product (FB Advertising related). It was from some guy I'd never heard of (the email)...Let's call him Dave. I know for a fact I didn't subscribe to Dave's list (at least intentionally...). I also know Dave has built no relationship with me at all. In fact, I couldn't tell you if I received any emails from Dave before.

    Instead, the message was compelling and I bit. I did a little bit of due diligence to make sure the product truly existed and read some online reviews. I bought the product. Dave earned his affiliate commission. (Perhaps another surprising aspect of this story is that the product actually didn't suck). Zero pre-existing relationship.

    Conversely, I receive a number of emails from people who are clearly trying to build a relationship with me. I say this because I start recognizing the names. Now, just recognizing the names doesn't imply a relationship, but they're trying. Here's the thing: I haven't bought a single thing from them. In fact, I mentally discount their emails already. Mostly this is because they think that sending me offers every day is relationship building (hint: it's not).

    Anyway, my observation is merely that either the relationship isn't that important, or that most people don't in fact know how to build a relationship, or that I'm a complete idiot for buying from what was effectively a spam email
    Same thing works in all avenues of selling: phone sales, direct mail, flying a banner behind an airplane above a city.

    Once in awhile, by sheer dumb luck, it's going to work.

    If the message is put in front of enough people, eventually it is going to accidentally appear before someone who is in the situation where this offer is the solution.

    But this is a shotgun approach.

    It's not repeatable, or scaleable, except in the most awful and inefficient way: throw more money at shotgun blasting.

    Look at what the cost of Dave's product was. Compare it to what you think he spent on marketing to enough people to get a sale. 1 in 1,000? 1 in 10,000? in 100,000? (who knows what spam success rates are). If the cost of acquisition is lower than the revenue of the sale, then I guess Dave should keep on spamming. But it's shooting in the dark to me. So many elements are out of control.

    And no, you're not supposed to try and make everyone happy. You ought to "be yourself."
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  • Profile picture of the author Katie Watters
    Originally Posted by IMMer1975 View Post

    I know there have been many discussions about how frequently one should email your list, and the importance of building a relationship with your list.

    Well, today something happened to me which had made me question the whole "relationship with your list" thing. Hear me out:

    I received an email for a MMO product (FB Advertising related). It was from some guy I'd never heard of (the email)...Let's call him Dave. I know for a fact I didn't subscribe to Dave's list (at least intentionally...). I also know Dave has built no relationship with me at all. In fact, I couldn't tell you if I received any emails from Dave before.

    Instead, the message was compelling and I bit. I did a little bit of due diligence to make sure the product truly existed and read some online reviews. I bought the product. Dave earned his affiliate commission. (Perhaps another surprising aspect of this story is that the product actually didn't suck). Zero pre-existing relationship.

    Conversely, I receive a number of emails from people who are clearly trying to build a relationship with me. I say this because I start recognizing the names. Now, just recognizing the names doesn't imply a relationship, but they're trying. Here's the thing: I haven't bought a single thing from them. In fact, I mentally discount their emails already. Mostly this is because they think that sending me offers every day is relationship building (hint: it's not).

    Anyway, my observation is merely that either the relationship isn't that important, or that most people don't in fact know how to build a relationship, or that I'm a complete idiot for buying from what was effectively a spam email
    There is definitely a time and a place to nurture or build relationships with your email list and potential leads. However, your experience proves that sending the right message, to the right person, at the right time can yield excellent results. I'm a little biased but I believe that sometimes the best leads and sales can come from your cold contacts - something that we practice and believe at Clickback. The key to connecting with cold contacts is having a deep understanding of your target market; building buyer personas are usually a great start to personalizing and targeting messages. Thanks for sharing IMMer1975!
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  • Profile picture of the author DonteEvans
    I get these emails just like you and I don't sign up for anything. Some of do try to build relationships, I know I do. I believe building a relationship has allowed me to get better results with my list.
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