That's the whole problem to your plan, David.

It's just FAR too early in the sales process to introduce your service.

What problems? You haven't even asked them if they actually have a problem that needs to be addressed. You are just blasting them with some generic problem within "today's market" and you assume your viewer has this problem. Maybe they don't!!!! You need to find out that FIRST, then see if there's a good enough fit between your solution and their level of need to fix that problem.

I think you will see better results if you:

1. Slow down and stop trying to sell on the first email/call/intro.
2. Trim down your first email to a simple inquiry about THEIR business as it pertains to your solutions you provide. 1-2 sentences, make it personal, make it a genuine inquiry about something in their business.
3. Genuinely attempt to find out if there are problems in their world that you MIGHT be able to help address.
4. Make the first email 100% about THEM and expecting a reply. This means.... drum roll..... You will be more apt to actually get a reply! (shocking, I know but this works so much better than just blasting your "solution" out into the marketplace like a shotgun blast)

Tell us a bit more about your prospect and your solution if you'd like an example.

Dear Friend

You are doing it the wrong way.

YOu will not get any result with this type of system.

Just copy the below mentioned system and you will get instant customers.

Step 1 - You need to find the potential customer in your niche and for that the best and easy and free place is use is Facebook and Twitter.

Step 2 - Facebook Marketing - Join all the groups in your niche and then start posting qualitative posts and get targeted subscribers.
.
Step 3 - Twutter Marketing - Search for a big Twitter account in your Niche which has more than 10000 followers and then start following all the subscribers in that list and make qualitative tweets and the best part you can send Thank you message to your new followers and I want you to add the landing page url in the Thank You message which gives you potential customer instantly.

If possible then give away a free gift to entice the visitor to subscribe to your list.

This will build a targeted list and both these resources can drive huge amount of traffic to your website and make great sales.

Take immediate action right now

Bye

Take Care

What I see is a long sale pitch page which many people won't even bother to read finish. Put yourself in their shoe, you think you the only one who offering them the service?

Create an impact short paragraph which include their problem and a solution to them but leaving curiosity to find out more.

Let them come to you and ask for more information.

Okay to sum up your answers:

The way I do it is obviously wrong. I better should start off with

1) a little introduction and a chat about their business and whether they find any struggles getting sales or improving them
2) Show them that I understand their needs and have the solution in my hand
3) Make the sale

I will try!

I overlooked this in the OP, but have you driven paid traffic (BingAd or Google AdWords) to your landing page?

What seems to be a good formula for your setup above is to use your landing page as an opt-in to acquire something (a free video that instructs your target on something, a report, a "how to" guide). Then send additional value offers (more resources) over 2-3 more email follow-ups, then present an offer to buy your services as a package at the end.

Obviously there's a lot more complexity than that, but this is a typical "sales funnel" that if done properly can and is successful.