Looking for some honest critiques...

18 replies
Hi Warriors,

I'm a newbie here on the forums and though I have been studying internet marketing for quite some time now, I must admit that I have done much more studying than doing, so also consider myself to be a newbie to IM.

I have put up a website and I am in need of some honest feedback on the site. I would love to have input on the layout, the copy, the offer, the pricing and anything else that you care to offer.

The webpage can be reached through the link in my signature file.

As a way of saying thanks for your reviews, I would like to offer the first 15 warriors who are interested a free keyword file of their choice from the list of files I have available at the site. (This is in addition to the four free lists that are available for download.) Just let me know where I can send the zip file to and I will get it out within 24 hours, and most times much quicker.

Thanks,
Dave
#critiques #feedback #honest #reviews
  • Profile picture of the author Ross Dalangin
    You used several nbsp

       
               
               
               

             
               
             
              

               
               
               

               

    There's no appeal to make me read the whole page. Use appealing images to make it lively. Give more impact on your pricing so they will notice it.
    I couldn't comment more on the sales copy because I know the effect of having good keywords so for me the samples would be great to see if I'm your visitor. Output is very important.

    Ross
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    • Profile picture of the author datfire
      Thank you Ross for your input.

      I will look into finding some images that would be relevant to the page. At least I think that is what you are suggesting. I had thought about that originally because I felt that the page was fairly long and wordy but could not picture in my head what type of images would be consistent with a page about keywords.

      I appreciate your critique!

      Dave
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  • Profile picture of the author Amir Rimer
    Hi Dave,

    I first want to thank you for helping me with my own site.

    I think you should hire a good graphic designer to create a good design for your site. If you need recommendations, I can recommend two good designers:

    1) Steve from Planet Divinity -> planet-divinity.com
    2) Oki from minisite911 -> minisite911.com

    Hope this helps.

    bye
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  • Profile picture of the author BrookeS
    Hi Dave,

    Congratulations on the site.

    I agree that the site could use some graphics. I would also like to add that the text font and size should be changed. Usually the best way to go is Arial 12pt.

    It makes it easier to read and follow. Also i might break my paragraphs up into smaller sections that way it doesn't look like I have to read so much. People are lazy and won't want to take the time to read what looks like alot.

    Other than that I think eveything else looks great. Good luck with the site.

    If you wouldn't mind I also put up a site that is not launched yet and would also appreciate some feedback.

    There are no graphics yet, I am still waiting for my elancer to get them finished up.

    Please let me know your thoughts. getmaximumtraffic.com

    Thanks,
    Brooke
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    • Profile picture of the author datfire
      Hi Brooke,
      Thanks for your thoughts on my site. I will certainly look into changing the font as I agree that it needs to be larger. And of course the graphics that everyone is making note of. I know the copy needs to be in shorter increments so I will work on that but will take some doing.

      As for your site, this is what I found.

      "wonder why their conversion rates are so derisory". I think I would try to find another adjective to use in place of derisory.

      "What you urgently need is splendid high-quality real-life buying traffic with people visiting your domain from all four corners of the globe.
      But that's about to change (though only for a few noble individuals)..." While I understand the point that you are making, the flow of the copy from one sentence to the next seems to be contradictory. The first sentence says this is what you need...followed by the next sentence stating, "But that's about to change..."

      "you've been suspecting that there's a better way to majestically attract visitors to your websites," Maybe it's just a personal thing but I'm not sure majestically fits in properly here. Possibly just delete the adjective altogether.

      How Will You Use Max Traffic To
      Dominate The Traffic You Desire? Again, maybe it's just me and my vernacular but dominate doesn't seem to fit here.

      "Stop Working for Google Start Making Google Work for You" I would either make this two sentences or just add "and" in the middle.

      "Good Traffic Bad Traffic" or "Good Traffic vs Bad Traffic"

      "Since I'm describing the approach AND providing the Part II book which is capable of providing thousands, I should probably charge around $1500-$2000" thousands...of what? visitors, dollars?

      "However, for the next few weeks this book is in a post-launch phase and during this time I'm inviting some of the populace to get their greedy hands on the product as a steal."
      I think you meant pre-launch phase. And I'm not so sure you should be calling your prospective buyers "greedy".

      "For those of you who are ready to start bring in the Maximum Traffic you can..." bringing in

      "are well need added techniques you shouldn't leave out." are well need added?

      "Some people say use it some say don't, with our Max Traffic book you'll have all the techniques that you won't need to use it." I guess my thought is why give it as a bonus if you are saying that I won't need to use it.

      "As you read this page right now this could well be your
      one and only chance to get your hands on the hottest
      traffic generation tool soon to be
      available..." As I read this page right now...my one and only chance to get...something that is not even available right now?

      "so really do have absolutely nothing to lose?!" so you really do have absolutely nothing to lose!

      "I hope you make the right choice and begin your way to the Maximum Traffic you can have!"
      I would say rewrite this or delete it altogether. Don't say I hope...just tell them to make the right choice.

      Okay now. I know this is a lot of stuff and I hope you don't take it wrong. When I critique something I give my honest opinion of things that stand out to me in hopes that it will help someone else in their marketing attempts. But I am in no way shape or form even remotely an expert or even qualified, so take it for what it's worth and use what you can. I have heard many copywriters say that you should write in your own words and speech pattern. I believe they were mostly referring to emails that are sent when communicating with your list of subscribers. I think web pages need to be more polished... and a lot too I imagine will depend on what geographical market you are targeting. It surprised me to see that you are in Kentucky. When reading your copy and the adjectives you chose, such as princely, majestically etc., I would have guessed that you were in England. Anyway, hope this helps some and best of luck with your site.
      Dave
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  • Profile picture of the author Teresa Coppes
    You've got a few run on sentences that could be broke up and also a few grammatical errors including one in your second main header.
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    • Profile picture of the author datfire
      Hi Teresa,

      Thanks for your input. I have read back through the copy and did find one grammatical error but I guess I am at a loss to the error in the second main header. Could you point it out to me please? I will have to work on the length of some of those sentences.

      Dave
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      • Profile picture of the author Teresa Coppes
        Originally Posted by datfire View Post

        Hi Teresa,

        Thanks for your input. I have read back through the copy and did find one grammatical error but I guess I am at a loss to the error in the second main header. Could you point it out to me please? I will have to work on the length of some of those sentences.

        Dave

        To succeed in the online world, a business owner must have not just a good list, but a great list of relevant keywords for his or her particular market.


        A business owner must not only have a good list sounds much better than must have not just. I had to read it a few times to figure out what you were trying to say.

        Hope that helped.
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        • Profile picture of the author datfire
          Thanks Teresa. Yes that did help. I knew that sounded a little awkward but I guess I overlooked it so many times that I didn't give it further thought. I will change it up.
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  • Profile picture of the author uconcept
    Besides what's been said, I personally don't like that cyan background color you have for the optin boxes. It doesn't match your site colors. If you can't find one more appealing, then you can use light gray.
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    • Profile picture of the author datfire
      Thanks Janet. I changed it and it does look better. I had been thinking about a different color and was thinking about a light yellow but when I compared it to the light gray, the gray looked better. Thanks for the suggestion.

      Dave
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      Never Never Ever Stop Believing!

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      • Profile picture of the author uconcept
        Originally Posted by datfire View Post

        Thanks Janet. I changed it and it does look better. I had been thinking about a different color and was thinking about a light yellow but when I compared it to the light gray, the gray looked better. Thanks for the suggestion.

        Dave
        You're welcomed Dave. It definitely look much better now!
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  • Profile picture of the author thedomainer
    its ok ok for me though
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  • Profile picture of the author thedomainer
    you can improve a lotdear,,,work well on your website
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  • Profile picture of the author d3sign3r
    Like another member said, you need to work on the visuals of your page. It looks pretty plain and empty. The opt-in box is not very well aligned.

    Not to boast, but I can help you with a makeover of your page.. and can guarantee an improve in your conversions. After all, looks matter.

    You can have a look at some of my design samples in my sales thread (link in my signature) or have a look at my portfolio.

    All the best
    aLee
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  • Profile picture of the author uconcept
    Nice designs aLee!
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  • Profile picture of the author AshMoller
    Hi Dave,

    I think it definitely needs some graphic design work.

    Don't get discouraged though, the key to success is being good at the things that make you money. Graphic design is obviously not one of them so just outsource it, no big deal.

    Well done for taking action, keep it up.

    Ash
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    • Profile picture of the author Kevin McNally
      Hi Dave

      I have completed many keyword lists for warriors in the past and I would advise that custom keyword lists are the way to go as I still have clients from a few years ago, but I don't have the time to offer this service anymore as it can be pretty time consuming unless you are using automated tools and charging a reasonable rate per list.

      Offering a free list for customers to check out works well or maybe a screenshot of the lists highlighting the low competition keywords that you have found.

      Good luck with your site, you should run a WSO and see how much demand is out there but I think it's pretty competitive as many of the more advanced keyword tools and even the adwords external tool offer some great data now.
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