Would You Ask To Marry On The First Date?

20 replies
Good morning from the UK.

A quick questions to my fellow warriors. Would you ask a guy or gal to marry you on a first date and expect to get a yes?

Now I know that in some very rare cases throughout history this has probably happened and the couple involved may have had an amazing 50 year relationship of wedded bliss.

But for the other 99.999999% of people the answer of course is no way!

So what's my point?

ASKING FOR A SALE COLD BEFORE BUILDING A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PROSPECTS IS LIKELY TO GET YOUR HAND SLAPPED & A SOLID NO!!!!

However if you take time to nurture your prospects, over deliver on value and show them A LOT of love and attention you will find that they purchase from you automatically.

For example if you built a lead page followed by a short course/ebook or seminar that gave a ton of value to your prospects. Demonstrating good characteristics such as integrity, honesty and of course capability do you think more people would trust you and ultimately purchase from you longer term?

Remember we are not looking for one-night-stands but we are looking for life long lovers who are raving fans of our business ... individuals we are genuinely concerned about helping and not fleecing.

Works for me anyhoo

BernardR
#date #marry
  • Profile picture of the author SteveSki
    I'd like to add that people won't care about what it is you are selling until they know how much you care about them. The secret is to make a friend everyday and meet their friends because people like to do business with those they know, like and trust. You have to earn it by being a friend and really caring about them.

    Cheers,
    SteveSki
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  • Profile picture of the author JensSteyaert
    Well your metaphore should have included that you are talking about people in the west, because millions of people are getting married WITHOUT a first date.

    But you make a good point, in most circumstances you'll make more money from people you have a relationship with, so it's a good idea to focus on that.
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    • Profile picture of the author mohaddad
      Banned
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      • Profile picture of the author Cali16
        I understand what the OP is saying but don't really agree with the analogy. I buy things all the time without any sort of pre-established relationship. Often it's just a matter of right timing, me doing my research and finding the seller, or someone else's recommendation.

        I am looking for quality and value first and foremost. Convince me that's what you're offering, and I'll likely buy. I don't need to be wined and dined, so to speak. Continue to offer value, and I may buy again - if you have what I need or want. But bombard me with emails and I'll get off your list in a heartbeat. I don't have time to read daily emails from marketers trying to "build a relationship" with me or sell me something new every single day.

        What will cost you customers (and lead to a quick "divorce", if you will), is not providing excellent customer service after the sale or in future interactions.
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  • Profile picture of the author Diana Lane
    I hear what's being said here and I agree, as long as it's not faked. Building those relationships and taking a genuine interest in the people you get to know is beneficial to both sides, but caring about people can and should be done from the outset - at the very least, caring about customers to the point where you would never want to make them unhappy with your products or services and doing what you can to make sure that they're not.

    However, there's a limit to the idea that people won't care about what it is you are selling until they know how much you care about them. People care more about not having their intelligence insulted, not just by sellers who try (and sometimes succeed) in persuading them to exchange cash for dodgy products, but by sellers who are blatantly putting on an interest in them that can't possibly exist yet.

    I'll never forget a corner shop that opened years ago round by where we used to live. The prices were better than grumpy Roy's across the square, the range was bigger and the whole place seemed brighter. The entire estate seemed to turn out to take advantage of all the opening offers on their first day of trading, yet they still managed to greet every single person with a suffocating display of insincerity and over-familiarity. It got to the point where I wouldn't go in there anymore - even popping in for a loaf of bread felt like a trial.

    Evidently a lot of other people felt the same way, because the place wasn't there a year later. Meanwhile grumpy Roy continued on across the square, having spent decades quietly building genuine relationships with people to the point where he could get away with providing fashion critiques to little old ladies ('Wassat on yer 'ead, Mave? Dead cat?') and giving gentle guidance to the youths who loitered outside his doorway ('Clear orf!'). He was still providing service with a scowl until his death some years later, and was missed by all when he went.

    Real relationships are built on getting to know your buyers well enough to be able to tell the difference between those who want the personal touch and those who just want a loaf of bread.
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    • Profile picture of the author SteveSki
      [QUOTE=Diana Lane;9688437]Meanwhile grumpy Roy continued on across the square, having spent decades quietly building genuine relationships with people to the point where he could get away with providing fashion critiques to little old ladies ('Wassat on yer 'ead, Mave? Dead cat?') and giving gentle guidance to the youths who loitered outside his doorway ('Clear orf!'). He was still providing service with a scowl until his death some years later, and was missed by all when he went./QUOTE]

      Great example Diana, Roy may have been grumpy but people could tell he cared about his customers and didn't pander to them just to get into their pocketbooks. The other store may have been brighter and cheerier but their phoniness drove buyers back to good old grumpy Roy who they already knew, somewhat liked and trusted that he would tell them the truth.

      Cheers,
      SteveSki
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  • Profile picture of the author regulardan
    No they might cheat on me lol. But hey you can deliver great content with the option to buy.
    People should close themselves. We should not have to.
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  • Profile picture of the author ameliaevie
    Banned
    Excellent idea. Most of people will say "NO" at the first day. correct. So you have to be patience. You need to try again & again, then one may agree with you.
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  • Profile picture of the author IvoryPearl
    That wouldn't create a long-lasting relationship. You should really know a person before you decide to marry. Same with a business. Get to know them first.
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  • Profile picture of the author Zak L.
    Awesome post Bernard!

    Providing value is key in business - and will take yours to the next level.
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  • Profile picture of the author Brent Stangel
    Providing value is key in business
    And does not require any kind of "relationship" other then trust in your payment processor.

    I spend a lot more on line with complete strangers then I do with people who've "nurtured" me.

    I hear what's being said here and I agree, as long as it's not faked.
    Exactly. It's called treating your customers and prospects well, not pretending to be their friend.

    As for your metaphor, it's quite flawed. Offering a OTO is not even close to the same as proposing marriage.
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  • Profile picture of the author stealthtargeting
    I totally agree with you. To be a successful internet marketer we need a strategy. Without a plan it is almost impossible to get success in internet marketing. In my point of view building a relationship with your prospects is the most important part in internet marketing.
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    • Profile picture of the author drmani
      That's a nice analogy to explain the concept - but to equate "making a sale" with "getting married" is kind of a stretch.

      When you're talking of repeat business, the relationship between the two become closer. Making the first sale is a slightly different kettle of fish - and there are certain occasions when asking right out for the sale at the first meeting is indeed the better approach.

      Also, in some niches, there isn't any need for "relationship building". Simply delivering a good quality product or service is enough in itself to sustain an ongoing business connection.
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      • Profile picture of the author Jason Jacoby
        Yes!, I WILL marry you!

        You're right, though, Bernard. Having a relationship with your customer is necessary if you want to truly grow your business. I think it's important to add that it needs to be real, though. You can't just fake sincerity to get what you want, it has to be genuine. If it's not, eventually your customers will feel like it's all about the money and leave. Besides, what's wrong with being genuine? You're happy, your customers are happy...it's a win win!
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        • Profile picture of the author BernardR
          Originally Posted by Jason Jacoby View Post

          Yes!, I WILL marry you!

          You're right, though, Bernard. Having a relationship with your customer is necessary if you want to truly grow your business. I think it's important to add that it needs to be real, though. You can't just fake sincerity to get what you want, it has to be genuine. If it's not, eventually your customers will feel like it's all about the money and leave. Besides, what's wrong with being genuine? You're happy, your customers are happy...it's a win win!
          Agreed sincerity is a must.

          People can spoke a fake easily.

          B
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  • Profile picture of the author Doug
    I've heard the concept expressed this way... "people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."

    There are no tricks. Just relationships. (pun not intended)


    Doug
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  • Profile picture of the author FreedomBlogger
    That is the best way to put it man!

    This is a great concept to understand and teach. You are spot on with everything you said here

    Keep up the great work man!

    Cheers!
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  • Originally Posted by BernardR View Post

    Good morning from the UK.

    A quick questions to my fellow warriors. Would you ask a guy or gal to marry you on a first date and expect to get a yes?

    Now I know that in some very rare cases throughout history this has probably happened and the couple involved may have had an amazing 50 year relationship of wedded bliss.

    But for the other 99.999999% of people the answer of course is no way!

    So what's my point?

    ASKING FOR A SALE COLD BEFORE BUILDING A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PROSPECTS IS LIKELY TO GET YOUR HAND SLAPPED & A SOLID NO!!!!

    However if you take time to nurture your prospects, over deliver on value and show them A LOT of love and attention you will find that they purchase from you automatically.

    For example if you built a lead page followed by a short course/ebook or seminar that gave a ton of value to your prospects. Demonstrating good characteristics such as integrity, honesty and of course capability do you think more people would trust you and ultimately purchase from you longer term?

    Remember we are not looking for one-night-stands but we are looking for life long lovers who are raving fans of our business ... individuals we are genuinely concerned about helping and not fleecing.

    Works for me anyhoo

    BernardR
    Asking someone to marry you is a huge commitment. You can't compare that to spending a few bucks.
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  • Profile picture of the author EPoltrack77
    Going into a party and seeing a good looking women and pouncing all over her while you drool! Not the sure way to get the first date in the first place.

    Get to know your prospect first and qualify them. Do they need, want, use and afford your service or product or are they a suspect who may need or want your product or service in the future.

    We are like Doctors almost!

    First we need to examine the patient and second come up with a diagnostic for our prospect and then provide them the subscription or our service or product.
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