Do you hide what you do?

by Scott Ames 50 replies
Do you hide your internet activites from friends, relatives, and employers (if you are not full time) ? There may be many reasons to do so. Conflicts of interest, nosey friends, relatives that don't get it, etc.
#main internet marketing discussion forum #hide
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
    Hi Scott,

    I see your point, but I do not hide what I do at all. I know some people will never get it, but that's their problem I guess.

    To me it's like asking if you ever hide who your spouse or kids are - I don't because I'm proud of them. I'm also proud to do what I do online.

    If someone wants me to explain, I'm more than happy to give it a whirl, but more often than not, their eyes glaze over after the first half-dozen words or so. No big deal.

    ~Michael
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    "Ich bin en fuego!"
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  • Profile picture of the author Ernie Lo
    I don't hide it, but I hate talking about it as I know they dont understand/believe.

    There are people who don't mean to be rude and will be happy for you, but the "rotten apples" (you will know who they are soon enough..)

    who gives a shit about them...you can always rub it in their face by reminding them that they have their slave duties ...ehh I mean job the next day
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    • Profile picture of the author Heather Bestel
      One of hubby Peter's favourite sayings is "Be careful who you share your dreams with!" and this is very true when it comes to explaining what we do, to our friends.

      Last weekend we had friends over for dinner who were trying to get their heads around our new business model. They are doctors and other therapists who have watched us recently start to build an online business and they are very sceptical.

      They don't see the point of writing an e-book, when I could get a 'proper' publishing deal and become a well-known expert in the 'real world'. They have their own work model which involves working hard to gain your phd and then getting a career with a reputable organisation and staying there for life.

      All this internet marketing jargon makes them think we have joined some weird cult. We'll just have to wait and see if they ever come back.

      I would love to convert them over to the dark side.

      Best wishes

      Heather
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      • Profile picture of the author ctutt
        Heather,

        I know the types. Just minimize conversation about what you're doing and when the money rolling in exceeds theirs, then you can talk about it.

        Charles Tutt
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  • Profile picture of the author Lou Diamond
    Hello,
    I do not hide what I do,
    I have nothing to be ashamed of.
    I have started off many friends in my footsteps.
    Many of them have even surpassed me.
    You will be very surprised that many people want
    a friend that is in the im field.
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    Something new soon.

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    • Profile picture of the author Scott Ames
      One person I met had to be very careful developing software because during his day job he was a programmer for another company. He couldn't compete at all with any software the company made, of course, but further, they wanted to know everything he did. He didn't agree with that and just did his own thing on the side without telling them.. They wouldn't want anything he did on the side and it didn't compete, but he was playing it safe.
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      Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. -Winston Churchill

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      • Profile picture of the author Tony_D
        [DELETED]
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        • Profile picture of the author aditya1107
          I don't hide it but never talk about it either unless the other person shares a common interest.
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          • I only hide what I DON'T do: work at a regular job.

            "What do you do?" has become a very uncomfortable question for me since I became unemployed. I sure hope I figure this IM thing out quick or I'll be in a world of hurt!

            But damn Skippy I'll be proud to call myself an internet publisher/marketer when I crack the code and start making some scratch!
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            • Profile picture of the author Kay King
              I don't hide what I do - but I don't bring it up in conversations either.

              It's also wise to know who you are talking to before giving too much advice about what you do and how to do it.

              I'm reminded of a conversation I was having with an older fellow about a song he had just written and who he might get to record the song. A young fellow overheard us and in a friendly way joined the conversation and monopolized it for about 15 minutes giving the old fellow advice on how to get some attention in the Nashville music scene. He even handed out his business card for the company he worked for (though he had to write his name on the card).

              The older man and I had a chuckle after the young fellow left - the older guy was George Jones and I think he knows quite a bit about getting around in Nashville. Young'un was so intent on imparting his knowledge and ambitions he didn't ask the name of the person he was "advising" and George didn't want to embarrass him so said nothing.

              kay
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              • Profile picture of the author Scott Ames
                Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

                I don't hide what I do - but I don't bring it up in conversations either.

                It's also wise to know who you are talking to before giving too much advice about what you do and how to do it.

                I'm reminded of a conversation I was having with an older fellow about a song he had just written and who he might get to record the song. A young fellow overheard us and in a friendly way joined the conversation and monopolized it for about 15 minutes giving the old fellow advice on how to get some attention in the Nashville music scene. He even handed out his business card for the company he worked for (though he had to write his name on the card).

                The older man and I had a chuckle after the young fellow left - the older guy was George Jones and I think he knows quite a bit about getting around in Nashville. Young'un was so intent on imparting his knowledge and ambitions he didn't ask the name of the person he was "advising" and George didn't want to embarrass him so said nothing.

                kay
                That is funny! George Jones certainly knows his way around country music. I wonder if the young guy ever figured it out.
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                • Profile picture of the author Kay King
                  Scott - I have a lot of family in Oxford, Ohio.
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        • Profile picture of the author JHD
          Tony_D:
          Sorry to hear about the negativity from your folks (dad). I can defintiely relate and feel it is OK to discuss IM or HBB with those who are interested. I personally feel that most people that respond negatively to these kinds of things is more of a mirroring of their own lives than what you are doing wrong. Congrats on your sale and keep up the good work!
          JHD
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      • Profile picture of the author jem
        This is such an appropriate question for my situation right now. I'm happy to be involved in internet marketing but I don't want to explain or talk about it until I am more successful.

        I have a very competitive friend who is an accountant like I had planned to be. However, after completing my degree I realised it wasn't going to give me the freedom or the life I want. So because i'm not as successful as I plan to be right now her competitiveness will get the better of me.

        As a result of not doing what people expect and not wanting to explain right now I'm distancing myself from close friends. I feel unhappy right now because of this so your question has actually made it a priority to get everyone together and explain my career choice and be proud of it! The success will come when I stop letting others negativity affect my mindset and actions.

        thanks for that!!
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        • Profile picture of the author Scott Ames
          Its so funny how we let what others think determine our course. I'm not immune to that.

          We feel we need the "normal" established career that everyone understands in order to be well thought of. Get a Phd in anything and you are looked up to in most of society. You might be making $21,000 a year teaching in second rate college, but you have that Phd. Meanwhile people making that much a month on the internet are looked down upon because they do this little "internet thing" and perhaps have no degree. The hicks.

          I can't remember who said this, but I like it a lot: "What Other People Think About You Is None Of Your Business" That relieves all of the tension from guessing what others are thinking. Often we are wrong anyway.



          Originally Posted by jem View Post

          This is such an appropriate question for my situation right now. I'm happy to be involved in internet marketing but I don't want to explain or talk about it until I am more successful.

          I have a very competitive friend who is an accountant like I had planned to be. However, after completing my degree I realised it wasn't going to give me the freedom or the life I want. So because i'm not as successful as I plan to be right now her competitiveness will get the better of me.

          As a result of not doing what people expect and not wanting to explain right now I'm distancing myself from close friends. I feel unhappy right now because of this so your question has actually made it a priority to get everyone together and explain my career choice and be proud of it! The success will come when I stop letting others negativity affect my mindset and actions.

          thanks for that!!
          Signature

          Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. -Winston Churchill

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          • Profile picture of the author jem
            Originally Posted by Scott Ames View Post

            "What Other People Think About You Is None Of Your Business" That relieves all of the tension from guessing what others are thinking. Often we are wrong anyway.
            I think that's one of those 'post it somewhere you can always see it' quotes for me. This is definitely something I need to start living by!
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            • Profile picture of the author chris_surfrider
              When you start making real money - be careful who you share this with.

              My suggestion is that you stay vague about your business when it comes to sharing it with friends, family, etc.

              If you don't, then there's two outcomes:

              1) People resent you

              2) People take too much interest in you, for their own gain

              Trust me, you don't want either.

              My "spiel" to curious friends has gone from being a full conversation to a simple phrase:

              "Basically, I'm an online publisher and I create the equivalent of internet magazines".

              I've found that this simple explanation is true enough, it removes everyone's initial thought (that I'm some kind of internet porn peddler), and "online magazine" seems to rub people the right way because they understand how a magazine works.

              I'd suggest saying something like that.

              I know that this might seem like an exciting thing to share with people, but over time you'll come to see it this way.

              If you say too much, you'll only repel those who you WANT to be around, and you'll attract those you who DON'T want anything to do with.

              -Chris
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              Making 6 Figures From Affiliate Marketing is Easier Than You Think. Here's Proof:

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  • Profile picture of the author Simon_Sezs
    Originally Posted by Scott Ames View Post

    Do you hide your internet activites from friends, relatives, and employers (if you are not full time) ? There may be many reasons to do so. Conflicts of interest, nosey friends, relatives that don't get it, etc.
    I don't hide what I do to the offline world. That said, I stopped trying to explain what I do a couple years ago b/c I found that most people don't get it even after I explain.
    Signature
    "Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing." Ben Franklin
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  • Profile picture of the author JasonKing
    Originally Posted by Scott Ames View Post

    Do you hide your internet activites from friends, relatives, and employers (if you are not full time) ? There may be many reasons to do so. Conflicts of interest, nosey friends, relatives that don't get it, etc.
    For the most part, they don't really want to know about it.

    And if they're keen enough to probe further, train them how to do it and make them work for you.

    -JasonKing
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    • Profile picture of the author dbh
      People used to ask what I do for a living, but now with my long hair & generally rangey looks they don't even bother anymore.....
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      • Profile picture of the author CarbonCopyPro
        Dont Hide! Tell The World!
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        • Profile picture of the author Alex Sol
          I don't hide it - but I don't really talk about it anymore... most people just don't get it and say:

          "Makin' teh moniez on da internetz is for scammez" ... So now it goes like this:

          - So, Alex - what do you do?
          - I am running a few small businesses
          - Oh Yeah? What kind?
          - Basically buying the products at low price and reselling them more expensive...
          - Cool!

          ... no further questions. Imagine if I started: well, there was an affiliate marketplace called... lol

          Anyways, my closest family know what I do and they support me

          Alex
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          Alex Sol, Full time online marketer since 2007
          The Extra Paycheck Blog | Extra Paycheck Podcast
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        • Profile picture of the author Ross Dalangin
          I don't hide what I do and I even teach them to earn online but they only like to work in a corporation. Sometimes they try to do some of my activities but they don't have enough dedication. I think it needs more time to motivate themselves and it is more on the mindset. Not all people have a courage to do this business. I even gave them free products for them to read but no effect..Maybe they don't want to invest even on a domain registration. Whatever, I will still try to convince them.
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        • Profile picture of the author Thomas Wilkinson
          I don't hide what I do but I don't go out of my way
          to explain it either. I'm somewhat of a recluse so it
          doesn't come up often.

          T.W.
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          When you hear someone telling you what YOU can't do, they are usually talking about what THEY can't do.
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          • Profile picture of the author Darth Executor
            I tried to tell my mom but I don't think she got it and she keeps giving advice when it's obvious she doesn't know what's going on with it. :p

            Haven't even bothered to tell my dad, he'll just tell me to "grow up" and work at finishing college and to get a real job so I can have experience for when I get a real job afterwards. Like I have any intention of slaving away chained to a desk making money for someone else. My friends aren't particularly supportive either but they don't exactly mind either. I'm pretty weird and they just think it's one of those "phases" that will go away. No worries though, one day, when I have a few million in the bank and I'm going on vacation to the Carribbean every other month we'll see who's laughing.
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  • Profile picture of the author TajwarAlexander
    I LOVE TELLING PEOPLE what I do.

    Many may bicker and laugh which is fine...but if just one person becomes inspired and takes action because of me it is TOTALLY worth it.
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    • Profile picture of the author entrepenerd
      I used to keep my internet marketing to myself - even from my wife, because most people would never understand. Now though that I've created my own product finally and started getting some sales, I've been sharing the success with my wife and close family and they are starting to get the picture.

      In fact, my Mom is really excited about it and is working to gather information for her first eBook. Of course I'll be doing most of the "e" part since she's pretty computer illiterate, but she's really stoked about the opportunity since she'll be able to contribute to the family finances. She's not been able to work for many years because she takes care of my quadriplegic sister who needs round the clock care.

      So, I'm hoping that my decision to share what I do with my family will have a long lasting positive benefit on them.
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      • Profile picture of the author AndrewCavanagh
        I don't and I never have...even before I was making good money.

        Having said that I didn't tell everyone.

        Here's an insight for you:

        If you become the guy people know as "always on his computer messing around with internet marketing" sooner or later someone's brother's cousin's father in law will be looking for someone to create a website for their business or looking for some advice on how to make money out of their business website.

        Someone tells this person "I know a guy who spends hours on his computer doing that interweb marketing thang. I could hook you up."

        And you get to work with a real business on a real website.

        You could even charge money for doing it.

        I think you should be proud you're an internet marketer and run your online business in a way that gives you reason to be proud.

        Kindest regards,
        Andrew Cavanagh
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        • Profile picture of the author Skribblez
          Only if I'm promoting penis enlargement eBooks, quit smoking/drugs eBooks, etc.
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          • Profile picture of the author dbh
            Originally Posted by Skribblez View Post

            Only if I'm promoting penis enlargement eBooks, quit smoking/drugs eBooks, etc.

            Thats funny
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            • Profile picture of the author BIG Mike
              Banned
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              • Profile picture of the author Mad Dawg
                I am not afraid to share what I do, or what I dream of achieving. There is, however, one pitfall to be wary of.

                Do not share your dream openly with everyone. You will receive negative feedback, even if you don't realize its negative. This negative feedback can hurt your ambitions and dreams, again, even if you don't realize it.

                So, share it after you've made it. Don't be too eager to tell everyone you know about your new project you are tackling. It may hurt you in the end.

                Mad Dawg
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                • Profile picture of the author Samuel P.
                  It's easier for a copywriter. You can just say "I'm a writer" and that pretty much ends the story.

                  If you sell ebooks you should say you're a book salesman .
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                  • Profile picture of the author Jose Delgado
                    Yeah. I hide it under my bed. :p

                    But seriously, i DONT hide it.

                    when i tell them, they simply either stop asking questions because they don't get it, or ask a million Q's!

                    lol

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                    • Profile picture of the author melanied
                      I don't hide what I do, per se, but if I'm at a party and I don't want to get into it, I will say I'm a freelance writer or that I work in promotions and branding. It's easier. lol.
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                      • Profile picture of the author Monetize
                        I don't have a problem telling people that I design web sites;
                        and every once in awhile I'll explain affiliate marketing.

                        To those of you who are embarrassed about being in this field,
                        you must have missed the memo

                        http://www.warriorforum.com:80/main-...sing-jobs.html

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                        • On the side of IM I run a web development company, we have a few big name clients , I simply tell people I "make websites", it's just easier and they all understand what that means.
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                          • Profile picture of the author SandyDuPlessis
                            I would love to discuss what I do with friends and family. But it tends to leave them utterly confused. I tried to explain what I was doing to my husband, but he simply got hung up on "building a website" - told his boss who is now trying to get me to modernize the company website, and I am ducking and diving.

                            My sons simply say "Oh cool..."

                            My daughter is completely lost - she is happy playing on FaceBook and my grandkids are just too young to care.

                            As for my parents and my friends... they think that I am not quite right in the head, particularly since I havent earned any money yet.

                            So - I just work alone and have stopped trying to talk to anybody about what I am doing.

                            Sandy
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                            • Profile picture of the author Jenni Mac
                              Life has taught me to only give general and basic info about what I do. I'm always going off and doing what others consider off the wall stuff, and I've never really talked about it more than in very sketchy terms.

                              People don't understand IM and I really can't be bothered to explain my calling to them!
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                              • Profile picture of the author Kevin Riley
                                I publish books. I'm proud of them.

                                The only problem I get is when I tell people that the books I publish now are e-books. Most Japanese still don't know what they are, and my parents can't even imagine. So, I printed out one of my books last time we visited Switzerland, so I could show my parents what their son does.
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                                • Profile picture of the author Jeffrey Louis
                                  No I was too excited about IM when I first learned about it to hide it from anyone.

                                  It's the perfect source of income for me. I love business, and being creative so designing websites, e-books, and selling products is the perfect field for me.
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                                  • Profile picture of the author Bishop81
                                    I don't hide it at all, in fact if anybody's interested, I talk about it freely. You often don't realize how many people are interested in getting their own website up, and they don't know that you can help unless you tell them.
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                • Profile picture of the author kazmagic
                  I don't hide what i do but I don't go out of my way to tell people either.

                  I find most people are very suspicious about making money on the internet.
                  (my husband included!) I find it difficult without peoples support, especially my husbands as he resents the time I spend on the computer.

                  I am determined to make my venture successful though, I just try to work on it when no-ones around and limit my time on it when my husbands home.

                  One day I will be able to say "I told you so!"

                  Karen
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              • Profile picture of the author kf
                Not exactly, but my answers have become more vague over the years.

                Recently I broke that rule, and ended up having to listen to how I could get my own domain name and not have to use theirdomain.com/my stuff. (Who knew?) Of course url wasn't mentioned, nor was domain ... But that's the point they were trying to ed-u-ba-cate me on.
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                • Profile picture of the author JeffersonB
                  Nah i don't hide it.

                  If anything they are my customers too.
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              • Profile picture of the author SolomonHuey
                Great question! I don't tell anyone unless they're one of those people who are genuinely interested in what I have to say.

                Some people are naturally skeptical, negative, or judgmental. To those people, I'd rather just say I'm a bum and quietly go about my business.

                Solomon Huey
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    • Profile picture of the author angela99
      I don't hide what I do, but I don't discuss it with friends, relatives etc because usually they're not involved in the online world, so their eyes glaze over with boredom.

      With friends who do know the online world, I've learned not to discuss my ideas because I can talk myself out of them.

      I'm sure I've talked myself out of projects which would have worked if only I'd gone ahead.

      Silence is best. :-)
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  • Profile picture of the author Robin Williams
    well wht guy dont hide the think he do. i sure do but i wouldnt share with wht i done to anyone.
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    • Profile picture of the author Christie Love
      I do work full-time, but I just tell people that I am a writer after hours. They wouldn't get it and I really don't have the energy to explain. I know it would be a waste of energy. Sad, but true.

      I tried to explain my IM activities to a few people to get them to jump on board and start to make money, but again... they just didn't get it. I will go back to them when the income really starts to pour in to see if they want to take the extra effort to listen again and learn.
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      • Profile picture of the author DanGTD
        Originally Posted by cosmokid View Post

        Most reactions were positive, but some (among "friends") were extremely negative.
        The sad truth is that most people either don't care, or are content if you fail.

        So better share it only with people who you know will support you.
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  • Profile picture of the author vorales
    I don't hide from my family but I didn't explain to them. They know that I am always infront of my computer but they don't know what I am doing. If I tell them also, they don't understand.

    I did share with my ex colleagues but not with current colleagues.
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Molano
    I don't hide anything whatsoever except perhaps my pen names for my article writing.

    Instead, I monetize what I do.
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    Como Ganar Dinero Por Internet - Spanish Make Money Online Site

    Daniel Molano
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