My 2000th Post and A Gift For You!

17 replies
Well, since I am normally very quiet and extremely shy, it has taken me forever to get to 2,000 posts but I have finally made it!

Since tradition dictates that I give a gift with my 2,000th post, I have tried and tried to think of what I could give. I hate to give you something I have written because it just seems tacky and reeks of self-promotion. I am a humble, reserved, modest, soft-spoken, unobtrusive and bashful type of person to begin with so that is just not my style!

I DO however have a very good friend who is NOT humble, reserved, modest, soft-spoken, unobtrusive and bashful and I am going to give you one of his reports absolutely free with no strings attached!

I have known Thaddaeus T. Hogg, the Hillbilly Marketer, for a very long time and he and I are just like brothers. We have a very close relationship and I know I can speak for him without having to ask his permission. He would be just thrilled to give you his report on bug bites!

AND, that is not all! You also get his salesletter for the report. This is a gift for all of you who struggle with writing sales copy. Why, this sales letter will probably go down in history with those written by Halbert, Ogilvy, Sugarman, Bly and Fortin. I really don't think he will achieve the greatness of Paul Myers but, hey, you can't win them all!

Anyway, here is an example of some of the finest, most gramatically correct, easy to understand, put-a-hunger-in-your-belly copywriting you will ever see (the payment links have been removed)...

The Greatest Sales Copy Ever Written

And now for one of the most requested books ever written about a problem that seems to confound everyone... child and adult... man and woman... pets and animals (is that everyone?)...

ABSOLTUELY FREE AND DIRECT TO YOUR OWN LIVING ROOM...

Thaddaeus T. Hogg's Guide to Bug and Insect Repellin' and Treatin'

I sure hope you enjoy it and don't be expecting another gift from me until the year 2015... it will be that long before I get another 2,000 posts.

Take care!
#2th #gift #post
  • Profile picture of the author WritingMadwoman
    Whankerdoodle and hooperdoopie...ROFLOL!!

    Very nice gift, thank you Chris, and please thank Thaddeus!

    (P.S. You spelled Paul's name wrong - better correct that before he sics Mrs. Wombat on you!)

    Wendy
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    • Profile picture of the author Martin Luxton
      Chris,

      Congrats on the 2k!

      For his ultimate solution, could you ask Thaddaeus which particular brand of whiskey he recommends? I wouldn't want to make the bite worse by using Jim Beam when I should've been using Johnny Walker Red Label.

      Actually, that could be a great bonus for the product - a discussion of the relatives merits of each whiskey.

      I selflessly volunteer to be a beta tester.

      Martin
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  • Profile picture of the author George Wright
    Thanks Chris,

    And thank Mr. Hogg for me also.

    George Wright
    Signature
    "The first chapter sells the book; the last chapter sells the next book." Mickey Spillane
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris W. Sutton
    (P.S. You spelled Paul's name wrong - better correct that before he sics Mrs. Wombat on you!)
    Thanks, Wendy, you saved my life! I changed the spelling and he will never know that I misspelled his name!!!

    George,

    I will tell him that you gave him a big old "Howdy!"

    Chris,

    Congrats on the 2k!

    For his ultimate solution, could you ask Thaddaeus which particular brand of whiskey he recommends? I wouldn't want to make the bite worse by using Jim Beam when I should've been using Johnny Walker Red Label.

    Actually, that could be a great bonus for the product - a discussion of the relatives merits of each whiskey.

    I selflessly volunteer to be a beta tester.

    Martin
    Martin, Martin, Martin! You should know that Thad doesn't drink any whiskey. Now if you wanted to know who make the absolute BEST White Lightning, he could answer that real quick... he does!

    Whankerdoodle and hooperdoopie...ROFLOL!!
    Wendy, SHHHHHH... there's mixed company around here! You're going to have everyone thinking you are a potty mouth!
    Signature

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  • Profile picture of the author Bev Clement
    Martin, whiskey, have your forgotten it is spelt whisky

    Chris, and I thought you were going to say you finished your book, and it was now available for all.
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
    Congrats and thanks, Chris.

    Now, I'm not what anyone would call a country boy, but I wanted to check how accurate your info was. I forwarded a copy of Thaddeus' guide to my second cousin once removed on my father's side.

    See, my cousin lives in Stink Bottom Marsh (Sweatbacon county's fourth largest town). I knew he would know. Unfortunately, he had a difficult time reading it. He said he wasn't ed-jee-cated enough to compurhend something written by a true D.O.P.E.

    Oh well, I'll stick to toothpaste as it's been my favorite remedy for many a year.

    All the best,
    Michael
    Signature

    "Ich bin en fuego!"
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  • Profile picture of the author russellprisco
    I personally, very much did not like the hillbilliness... very annoying. (no offense!)

    But really great info (I'm going to share with my wife when she gets home), and very neat spin on the marketing technique!

    =)

    (Note to self... do not jump in poo...)

    lol

    And definitely congrats on 2k posts!

    ~Russell Prisco =)
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  • Profile picture of the author ranway
    Thanks Chris, great stuff!
    Randy
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  • Profile picture of the author TheDebtEliminator
    Hi Chris,

    I am going to order 2-truckloads of Miracle Whip for bug bits and it tastes good on strawberries.

    Thanks for these down-home remedies

    Ye-Ya
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    Freedom from Credit Debt for All in USA … Credit cards, medical bills, student loans, etc. .................... Plus your credit scores at the bureau can be raised when your debt relief is completed.

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    • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
      Chris, I hate to tell you this but...

      You're Still One Post Short!!!

      Congrats on 1,999.

      If Riley's hamsters don't end up stringing you up by your toes, you just
      might make 2,000.

      Here's hoping.

      Oh, and thanks for the great laugh.

      It was MUCH needed.
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      • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
        Dab Nabbit!

        Why he can't git sum infurmation on Ticks in that there re-port!

        I gots me a domain on ticks just lookin fer some stuff to use.

        yepper.
        Signature

        "May I have ten thousand marbles, please?"

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        • Profile picture of the author Chris W. Sutton
          Jill,

          You sure do talk funny!!! Why I just barely understood what you were saying!

          Take care!
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris W. Sutton
    Chris, I hate to tell you this but...

    You're Still One Post Short!!!
    Steven, you really do need to quit hanging out with Willie Nelson because you must be seeing things. Why, I am well on my way to 3,000 now!
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