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confused about my sales video

by aby2maria
9 replies
Hi , I decided to launch my video course and software soon

I created this video as a introduction sales video ( not complete ) , since i am not a big pro in marketing ,
I thought i will ask some of you warriors here to comment on the video i just created.

Please help me with that.

Thanks
- Aby


#confused #sales #video
  • Profile picture of the author Alex Blades
    I noticed right away, that a capital T was missing. Also I noticed you used the word "don't" when the word "doesn't" should have been used. Now, my grammar and English sucks, and I may be wrong, but maybe you should have someone proof read it anyways.

    I thought the video was great, but maybe a little to long for a video with out voice narration. I think you should get someone on Fiver to do a voice over, so you can test both, and see which converts better
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Mazza
    I think the video is good, I like the animation and the music, but it is just too long. I dont know if you are going to be able to get users to watch the whole thing.
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  • Profile picture of the author aby2maria
    Thanks for your responses people
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    • Profile picture of the author PBSolutions4U
      Generally if you are introducing a product or service to someone for the first time, you will want the video to be between 30-60 seconds is the rule of thumb, unless you have a really specialized niche. After the first video then you lead them to:

      A) Call to action
      and
      B) Option to learn more

      Hope this helps
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  • Profile picture of the author Sean DeSilva
    The structure is good but you could streamline the path to the message you're trying to make. If you had a narrator, you could cut to the chase in half the time. I'm at one minute nine seconds and I just had to pause at Ben because it was too slow for me.
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  • Profile picture of the author David Beroff
    I'm concerned about the basic concept here. Nothing wrong with making money as an intermediary, but the scenario presented feels way too off-balance. If the buyer's willing to pay $350 and the seller's asking $5, how about at least charging him $299 and paying her $20? Then everyone involved would be thrilled, and much more likely to entertain repeat business in the future.

    And not to derail the thread, but your signature, (offering to "obtain" Udemy courses for 1% of their sales price), really hurts your credibility with anything else that you do here. e.g., I do voiceover work myself, but after seeing that, I just wouldn't feel comfortable in associating with you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Slade556
    Your video is kinda cute, I like it. However, it's too long, you need to shorten it. For instance, after "peter is going to start a new business firm", you can go ahead and just create one frame where you say "and he needs a new logo", no need to prolong the moment. I watched the video 'till the end, because I wanted to give you some feedback, but your real viewers will most likely get bored because it's way too long.

    Also, have someone proofread it, you have some grammar mistakes that need to me taken care of.
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  • Profile picture of the author trinity571
    I agree with Alex Blades and Slade, the grammar is bad in some places. You really need to redo this after some proofreading. The don't bit is just one example, but there are other phrases that need to be changed. It's a nice style, so it would be a pity to ruin it with incorrect grammar.
    As a Fiverr proofreader myself, the errors really jump out at me.

    Good luck.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jennifer Hutson
    Aside from the grammatical errors pointed out, I agree with a few others here. It's very professional-looking, but it's too long for an explainer video. If the content was different, no problem - but you're going to lose people fast with the length. I'd try to get it under 1 minute, if possible.
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