Critiques of my article?

9 years ago

Hi Anteres,

Honestly, it isn't looking good.

Some of the problems include grammar and punctuation errors. And the formatting (style) is lacking as well. It's important to remember that just because you're writing for a particular market (like the IM market), that doesn't mean your writing can be substandard. And if you were to present this content to a writing forum, you'd be shred to pieces.

You're simply going to have to supply better writing if you want to succeed in the content industry.

Thanks

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AnniePot

9 years ago

Unless you are planning to market your PLR articles cheaply, to customers with a poor grasp of English grammar, syntax, correct use of homophones, punctuation, etc., I would seriously suggest that you shelve this project because articles like your example will create a great many refund requests.

Before planning to write for other people, you seriously need to dedicate a lot of time to learning how to write.

Thanks
1 reply

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Antares330

9 years ago

Originally Posted by AnniePot

write for other people

Funny you should mention writing for other people...
Imgur: The most awesome images on the Internet

That's from Fiverr, where I wrote 48 articles, for other people. All of them thought I could write well enough to give me 5 stars. Now I'm not saying I know how to write well or that the niche I was writing articles for was hard or that I got the highest end clients.

I DIDN'T ASK FOR CRITIQUES BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE THROWN TO THE GROUND AND STOMPED ON

I asked so others could see problems with my writing and help me work on them!

Thanks
5 replies

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nmwf 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Antares330

I asked so others could see problems with my writing and help me work on them!

I think because the errors are so many and varied, critiques are summarized for a quick explanation. Don't take a brief critique as an insult. It would simply take too much time to point out each and every problem.

If there were fewer errors, then I'm sure people would be more than happy to point them out individually.

Good luck!
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The Niche Man

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Antares330

Funny you should mention writing for other people...
Imgur: The most awesome images on the Internet

That's from Fiverr, where I wrote 48 articles, for other people. All of them thought I could write well enough to give me 5 stars. Now I'm not saying I know how to write well or that the niche I was writing articles for was hard or that I got the highest end clients.

I DIDN'T ASK FOR CRITIQUES BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE THROWN TO THE GROUND AND STOMPED ON

I asked so others could see problems with my writing and help me work on them!

Actually, the two responses you've received so far is pretty nice, if not merciful. There's many people who frequent this section who'd delight in letting you have it with both feet (boots on).

Seems to me if you wrote 48 Five Star articles for Fivver you'd be a little farther along now. But your best bet is to go to a writing forum and ask for a critique. Asking others here to edit, proofread and offer writing tips is a bit much don't you think?

But of course you can offer your critique in the Copy Writing Section and see what they say. Caution: Some of those guys have teeth and love to use them, but they'll help you if you can risk the stomping.

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stevenjcampbell

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Antares330

Funny you should mention writing for other people...
Imgur: The most awesome images on the Internet

That's from Fiverr, where I wrote 48 articles, for other people. All of them thought I could write well enough to give me 5 stars. Now I'm not saying I know how to write well or that the niche I was writing articles for was hard or that I got the highest end clients.

I DIDN'T ASK FOR CRITIQUES BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE THROWN TO THE GROUND AND STOMPED ON

I asked so others could see problems with my writing and help me work on them!

I just read this.
I suggest you stop writing and asking for any suggestions.
Seeing as the already think you are great based on fiverr.

For the record, if the link you posted is indicative of your skills, I would not actually pay anything for your fiverr gigs. I wouldn't want your articles for free.

[ 3 ] Thanks
1 reply

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Antares330

9 years ago

Originally Posted by stevenjcampbell

I just read this.
I suggest you stop writing and asking for any suggestions.
Seeing as the already think you are great based on fiverr.

For the record, if the link you posted is indicative of your skills, I would not actually pay anything for your fiverr gigs. I wouldn't want your articles for free.

Thanks for your opinion.

If you didn't notice, I did say that the niche I was writing for wasn't a hard niche also that they weren't high end clients. I know I'm not great. why else would I come to a forum for help?

Thanks
1 reply

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stevenjcampbell

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Antares330

Thanks for your opinion.

If you didn't notice, I did say that the niche I was writing for wasn't a hard niche also that they weren't high end clients. I know I'm not great. why else would I come to a forum for help?

Fact:

You asked for critiques.
You got them.
Your reply was how 48 fiverr customers gave you five star reviews.

That tells me that you didn't really want to have a critique of the actual writing. Those things are made of words and sentences.

You wanted to know if your plr content would pass muster.
Fair enough.

Why not ask specifically and tell us

"never mind the grammar and other errors, please tell me if this plr content article can be good enough to sell as a package with others like it."

I know that if I write something quickly and as for a review, I'll tell the person to disregard grammar and tell me what they think of the message it conveys.

Thanks
1 reply

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Kay King 9 years ago

I wanted my work to be shredded not me. I had a few warriors telling me that to quit, not improve.

That was my problem.

You have WRITERS telling you this work is not good enough to sell. You don't believe them - so nothing more to say, is there? I think in person you could explain this article very well. In writing, it's just not working.

If people on Fiverr think this is great - keep selling on Fiverr.
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@tjr

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Antares330

I DIDN'T ASK FOR CRITIQUES BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE THROWN TO THE GROUND AND STOMPED ON

That's part of any critiquing process though, writing especially. If you open up your work to the scrutiny of others, you sometimes get vitriol thrown back at you.

At the end of the day it is your art though, so you don't have to take someone else's critique as gospel. Take advice you can work with, and put out the best piece of work that you can. That's all you can do, it isn't a black and white game (in my opinion).

Keeping the latter paragraph in mind, here is what I have to say about what you wrote. Keep in mind that I'm just focusing on the writing/piece in general. I have not written/bought/sold PLR before, so what a "normal" piece should look like is something I cannot comment on. I can only focus on the writing itself. Hope it helps still, here we go:

Blogging Tips (This is a vague title. I don't know what to do with this. Are they tips for writing posts? Tips for attracting visitors? Tips for setting up the blog? Title needs to deliver more. I have no choice but to go into the piece to see what I can find.)

Writing is an art, blogging is one way of writing that turns your words into art. (More often than not, the first sentence(s) of a piece should include the thesis: what the piece should be all about. From what you have here, you have established writing as an art and blogging as an outlet for that art. Will you continue that throughout? We'll see.) Writers are artists, some might argue, but (The previous four words, why include them? Why create "some" who can argue against the point you're making. If it were me, I'd remove these four words and stand proud with the idea that writers are artists. The sentences that follow bring that point home.) think of your favorite book of all time. That to you is art, it changed something in you, you saw something in it that you thought was beautiful. That book pulled at your feelings, desires and your thoughts.

(So what we have so far is a thesis about writing being an art, and that blogging is an outlet for that. How does this connect with Internet Marketing/Make Money Online? You said you are writing for this audience. Make the thesis speak to this audience. You're also going to need a complete title change. Your thesis doesn't match up to blogging tips at all.)

When we look at the internet now, we have so much info and so many blogs, how did we end up with all this? Did someone just pop up one day and think...(Ellipses are usually used instead of a group of words. You use it to leave something out. For example, you would turn "This movie was anything but great" into "this movie was...great".)
"Say, I should write what I'm doing today on that thing they call the internet!"
No, they didn't. It all started with something called "Weblogs" or web logs, the technical logs the servers would spit out. (What was on these technical logs? How did the transition happen? To the layman (like myself) this progression doesn't make much sense. Why do I care?) It eventually changed to blogs, instead of weblogs. (So did the name change, or did the nature of the thing change? How is this supporting your original sentence (that someone didn't just up and decide to blog one day)? You've gotta expand and finish the arguments that you're looking to make.) Now we see all these blogs popping up with GREAT info on them. Considering blogging started in the mid 90's, we've (I'm throwing up a random guess here, but shouldn't this type of POV be avoided with PLR? I was under the impression that third person professional would be the way to go. Who knows though, may just be a matter of preference.) got a lot of blogs going already, and many more to come!

(Paragraph two has taken us in a completely different direction from paragraph one (writing = art, blogging = art). I've got a very basic overview on how blogs came to be, and how many there are. There would be a place for this within the thesis that I've gathered in your first paragraph, but you need to do more to connect it.)

Early on, blogging was hard to start with no investment, you needed a website and a domain name. You needed to build that website. After all that you needed to write on your blog. (That's a lot of work, just to write) (I get the point that you're trying to make here, but it is a hard one to defend. You can have a blog set up in under an hour, unless you have to wait for nameservers to switch over and all that jazz. Someone hoping to use or make something out of this will have to discount the previous sentences.) but now, you can get started for free on a lot of different platforms, from blogger to wordpress, ALL FOR FREE! (Can't beat that) (Although it is recommended to get your own domain.) (I would personally consolidate these into one set of parenthesis.)

(So we have another basic overview on blogging. This paragraph really isn't different from the first. It isn't supporting the thesis, and holds very little information (and nothing new) for an Internet Marketer. It's looking a lot like fluff, unfortunately.)

Often times people use blogs as journals, they can get quite the following, they add their adventures, day to day life and more. (The previous sentence runs on a bit. "They can quite the following" seems out of place. You should probably put it after the other clauses.) But not all blogs are personal, with blogs becoming (Becoming? The Internet is far past that stage. You've gotta drop this.) such a HUGE source of traffic, businesses add blogs to their websites, that way visitors can find their website through the blog, and continue on to other parts of the website. Or even just to gain brand recognition (Sentence fragment.)! (Most times it's just to gain more sales.)(Why is this in parenthesis?)
Entrepreneurs also start blogs, it helps them get their name out there into the marketplace. (Would you be better served dropping this? Entrepreneurs are running business (covered in your previous point) after all.) You can make money out of ("from" instead of "out of.") your blog in a lot of ways, from an ad at the top or through syndicating your articles.

(See the overview of either of the previous two paragraphs. They both fit here.)

Here are some tips on blogging:(Oh my lord, we've connected to the title. Not the thesis though.)

1. Think about the people you're writing to.

Think about what they (You're beyond the header. Who is "they"? You must define often.) want and need, peak their interests. Often times when someone starts a blog they want to be heard, to have a voice, to share their opinion; but remember to keep your audience in mind! Make sure that they will be able to understand what you write. (What good is it (what is "it"?), if nobody can understand it?)

(A basic blogging tip. You can find it posted here no less than 10 times a day. A buyer won't be able to publish this on their site (or make much out of it). You've gotta be stronger with the core content. Put in the time and do the research.)

2. Worth a thousand words (Fragment. I wouldn't personally use one as a header/list point.)

If pictures speak a thousand words, why not out(put?) a few thousand words to your article? (What's the connection here? It seems as if you shoehorned a platitude in here and didn't follow through with a coherent thought. Original-ish, but poorly executed.) Seriously, a few pictures in a article will catch the eye of your reader, and keep them interested in the article. (Well, that was a completely different point from what you made in the previous sentences. Was the first meant to be a joke, in which case you should put "seriously though" (connecting the two). Frankly, consider just dropping all of this, period.) Make sure the picture actually matches the topic you're blogging about. (Are irrelevant pictures a common newbie mistake that I'm not aware of? I know there are plenty that execute connections poorly, but I haven't come across anyone dumb enough to put a picture of an elephant in an article about pizza without good reason.) If you're writing about knitting don't put a picture of a hunter, it would devalue your article! (Unless you're writing about knitting something for a hunter. You've gotta hammer home context here.)

3. Constructive and beneficial

You can say anything you like on your blog, but if your (Your what?) doesn't benefit your readers, who would come back to read your next blog post? You can go for that quirky entertainment type blog What is a "quirky entertainment type blog? What is a good blog for that matter? Give some examples. Flesh out this point.), but if most of the time it doesn't do something for the reader, you'll have a hard time getting people to read your posts! (I've avoided commenting throughout, but why so many exclamation points? Why are you screaming at your reader? There hasn't been a sentence yet that should be conveying excitement or surprise.)

4. Complicated posts

Who likes to jump on to your blog only to see a bunch words they don't understand? I don't Back to the POV thing.), remember to keep your articles readable/understandable. (You just made this point in the previous "tip".)

5. Interactive post (Reads like a fragment. Did you mean "posts" instead?)

Make your blog interactive, add some audio or video into it, I for one love to see a video about the topic I'm interested in. I would highly recommend including a comments section, where they can give you feedback or ask a question. POV problems throughout, and once again who are "they" supposed to be?)

Blogging can be creative or for commercial use, but make sure to keep it interesting! (Is this the close? It shouldn't be. Round out the thesis (this piece, unfortunately, doesn't have one), and insert a call to action.)

If it were me, I'd scrap the piece and start over. There doesn't seem to be a clear point, and there is more fluff than actionable content. Something to consider: what kind of content were you selling on Fiverr? What did the buyer end up using the piece for? (Reverse engineer by searching an excerpt of the piece in Google). Was it fluff used to build backlinks? Or did the owner use it on a site that can actually make money? That's going to tell you a lot more about your success than a rating given on Fiverr. You'd be amazed how many buyers there are that don't know what they're buying for, and thus can't measure the success of the piece.

You'll do what you wish with the above critique. I wish you the best of luck. I personally feel you need a much firmer grasp on the English language (common grammar/wording errors), and on writing coherent arguments/lessons. As Complex has said though, stuff of this quality can apparently sell, and sell well. I'd urge you to aim higher though.

Later.

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Antares330

9 years ago

Originally Posted by @tjr

That's part of any critiquing process though, writing especially. If you open up your work to the scrutiny of others, you sometimes get vitriol thrown back at you.

At the end of the day it is your art though, so you don't have to take someone else's critique as gospel. Take advice you can work with, and put out the best piece of work that you can. That's all you can do, it isn't a black and white game (in my opinion).

Keeping the latter paragraph in mind, here is what I have to say about what you wrote. Keep in mind that I'm just focusing on the writing/piece in general. I have not written/bought/sold PLR before, so what a "normal" piece should look like is something I cannot comment on. I can only focus on the writing itself. Hope it helps still, here we go:

If it were me, I'd scrap the piece and start over. There doesn't seem to be a clear point, and there is more fluff than actionable content. Something to consider: what kind of content were you selling on Fiverr? What did the buyer end up using the piece for? (Reverse engineer by searching an excerpt of the piece in Google). Was it fluff used to build backlinks? Or did the owner use it on a site that can actually make money? That's going to tell you a lot more about your success than a rating given on Fiverr. You'd be amazed how many buyers there are that don't know what they're buying for, and thus can't measure the success of the piece.

You'll do what you wish with the above critique. I wish you the best of luck. I personally feel you need a much firmer grasp on the English language (common grammar/wording errors), and on writing coherent arguments/lessons. As Complex has said though, stuff of this quality can apparently sell, and sell well. I'd urge you to aim higher though.

Later.

I expected about 1/10 of the tips you gave here.

Thanks for the great critiques.
Justin

PS: I wrote in the gaming niche. I asked my buyers for the URL of where they used. The times they sent me the URL it was for their website as content. (With fairly good feedback)

[ 1 ] Thanks
1 reply

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@tjr

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Antares330

I expected about 1/10 of the tips you gave here.

Thanks for the great critiques.
Justin

PS: I wrote in the gaming niche. I asked my buyers for the URL of where they used. The times they sent me the URL it was for their website as content. (With fairly good feedback)

So why aren't you writing in the gaming niche, where you've seen success? From a casual gamers POV, there should be a ton of content ideas to use.

Personally, I'll read anything and everything Battlefront related right now.

Thanks

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Cali16

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Antares330

That's from Fiverr, where I wrote 48 articles, for other people. All of them thought I could write well enough to give me 5 stars.

With all due respect, you need to consider the fact that all those 5 star reviews came from people willing to pay only peanuts for articles. I'd take those reviews with a huge grain of salt.

I'm sorry to say but I agree with Annie.

Sure, you could work on improving your writing but you don't even have the basics down, so you've got a long, uphill battle to get your writing to just a barely decent level. Grammar and punctuation use were very poor - and that's just for starters. I'd recommend using your time on other things than writing articles.

You feel "stomped" on, but you asked for feedback on an article that was, quite frankly, not very good. Do you really want people to give you artificial praise? How will that help you improve (or make a wise decision and change course altogether)?

It's silly to ask for feedback and then get defensive as soon as someone is honest with you. If you just want your ego stroked stick with selling articles to the cheap folks buying $5 articles on Fiverr. They wouldn't recognize decent writing if it bit them in the face.

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AnniePot

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Cali16

You feel "stomped" on, but you asked for feedback on an article that was, quite frankly, not very good. Do you really want people to give you artificial praise? How will that help you improve (or make a wise decision and change course altogether)?

It's silly to ask for feedback and then get defensive as soon as someone is honest with you. If you just want your ego stroked stick with selling articles to the cheap folks buying $5 articles on Fiverr. They wouldn't recognize decent writing if it bit them in the face.

This says it all . . .

Thanks
1 reply

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JohnMcCabe 9 years ago

I'd say you owe @tjr about 5 gigs worth for the editing/proofing service he provided. In the future, if you seek that type of critique, you may want to be ready to pay for the time and effort (to say nothing of the expertise) it takes.

If this example is truly representative of what will be in your PLR packet, it's a shining example of why I almost never acquire PLR without reading through it first.

About the best thing I can offer, since you seem so sensitive to negative feedback, is that if someone actually bought this and used it on a blog, it would, indeed, be a blog post.
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Complex

9 years ago

[DELETED]

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The Niche Man 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Complex

NicheMan,

Don't recommend folks to put PLR articles in the copywriting section. It's bad enough that every "article writer" thinks they are a copywriter ...

Yea, you're right. I was gently pointing out (tongue in cheek) the difference between the advice the first two Warriors gave the O.P, he felt were stomping on him. Compared to the copywriting section, which gives excellent advice. But sometimes you may need a first aid kit or band-aids for your ego when finished. Some can stomp you in rhythm - although you're better if you follow the advice.
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stevenjcampbell

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Antares330

Hello,

I'm making a PLR product (10 PLR Articles on blogging (With some add-ons))

I've got my first article here, but I would love some tips on what could be better! (I put it into pastebin so it wouldn't clog up the post)

Blogging tips - Pastebin.com

To anyone that helps, I'd be glad to give you a free copy once the product is done!
Justin

PS: I would go on a writing forum, but this product is geared toward the IM market, and you guys know what you want in a PLR Product!

I read 4 words, the first four.

"writing is a art"

Okay. So when you have the vowel follow the letter a, it becomes an.

An art
An owl
An orange

And so on.
Honestly, I did not read past this.

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wolfmmiii

9 years ago

Why are you complaining??? You asked for a critique and you got it. Stop being so sensitive.

Thanks

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Antares330

9 years ago

I really want to clarify what I meant.

I wanted my work to be shredded not me. I had a few warriors telling me that to quit, not improve.

That was my problem.

Thanks

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esmarshall

9 years ago

well if your writing for other people and your stuff is already selling then...thats all you need, the marketing of the product is more important than the actual product anyway, so focus on that

you shouldn't give a s**t what any of these guys on here say (because i know i don't), especially if they ain't funding your cause

at the same time you asked for a critique, so you should have expected a roasting really but if your gonna do well, then you need some thicker skin...and remember people will have negative stuff to say regardless of how good it is

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quadagon

9 years ago

This is about the fifth draft of my reply as I want to be honest and constructive.

Honestly trying to get the balance is hard and although you've been upset with the feedback I honestly think people have shown a great amount of restraint.

So what can I add.

The article feels like you have done no research on the subject. As a result there is no depth to your article. Actually if I am to be truthful it feel like it was authored by someone very young.

Here's an example

complicated posts
*
who likes to jump on to your blog only to see a bunch words they don't understand? I don't, remember to keep your articles readable/understandable.

You have an interesting point here but you need to go deeper and deeper into the subject.

You could look at:

Adult literacy in America
how copywriters work
The flesch reading formula

All of these can support your argument.

Show examples of easy reading and explain why this is great for the reader

Now kick it up a level and provide examples of when simple writing is not appropriate ie scientific reports and medical journals.

You should for all of this provide outside resources to back up your argument.

As far as structure of your article start with something like the classic argument as a framework.

So in summary research, research and research your article:
[*]Write in an easy to understand but adult manner. [*]Frame your writing on the classic argument structure. [*]Go deep (here's a tip when you think you've gone deep go deeper)[*]Redraft your work over and over and over again.[*]Get your work proofread to avoid speeling mistakes.

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