How To Make Money Online Step One

38 replies
Howdy folks,

You know, folks been askin me how I be makin money online! It is really not all that constipated and I will be tellin you how... well, I ain't gonna exactly TELL you how but I am shore gonna tell you a story and see who can figger out the secret...

Down here in the holler we has a fellar called Dookie and his IQ is somewhere in the neighborhood of 4 (We made him a teacher at the local school cause he was so smart)!

The other day Ole Dookie rode his horse into the holler to buy some things to go along with his vittles. He rode his up to the hitchin post at the Holler Vittles & Viennie Sausages and climbed down off that critter! He immediately went to the back of that there horse, lifted his tail (not Dookie's tail but the horses tail) and kissed that varmint right on it's behind! Well sir, I was gobsmacked (I learnt that word from Kim Standerline) and I says to him, I says "Dookie, did you just do what I think I saw you do?" Dookie replied, "You shore did, Thad!" (He called me that cause that's my name!) I said, "Why in tarnation did you do something like that fer?" and he said, "I done it cause I gots some really bad chapped lips!" "Does that cure them?" "Nope, but it durn shore makes shore I don't lick 'em!"

Now, that there story contains one of the most basic but extremely important rules about making money online! Can any of you folks tell me what that main rules is?
#make #money #online #step
  • Profile picture of the author shaunybb
    Haha very clever
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  • Profile picture of the author Regional Warrior
    Hey Thaddaeus

    Good to see an old name drop in thought you had gone on a big bender with the moonie shie use been makin hope you use is well

    Jason
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  • Profile picture of the author messlc
    Sucks in your audience so they will read to the end.
    Also by using play on words, makes reader slow down and really digest what's been written.
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  • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
    Banned
    Originally Posted by Thaddaeus T. Hogg View Post

    Howdy folks,

    You know, folks been askin me how I be makin money online! It is really not all that constipated and I will be tellin you how... well, I ain't gonna exactly TELL you how but I am shore gonna tell you a story and see who can figger out the secret...

    Down here in the holler we has a fellar called Dookie and his IQ is somewhere in the neighborhood of 4 (We made him a teacher at the local school cause he was so smart)!

    The other day Ole Dookie rode his horse into the holler to buy some things to go along with his vittles. He rode his up to the hitchin post at the Holler Vittles & Viennie Sausages and climbed down off that critter! He immediately went to the back of that there horse, lifted his tail (not Dookie's tail but the horses tail) and kissed that varmint right on it's behind! Well sir, I was gobsmacked (I learnt that word from Kim Standerline) and I says to him, I says "Dookie, did you just do what I think I saw you do?" Dookie replied, "You shore did, Thad!" (He called me that cause that's my name!) I said, "Why in tarnation did you do something like that fer?" and he said, "I done it cause I gots some really bad chapped lips!" "Does that cure them?" "Nope, but it durn shore makes shore I don't lick 'em!"

    Now, that there story contains one of the most basic but extremely important rules about making money online! Can any of you folks tell me what that main rules is?
    .... uhhh ... don't lick your lips if you kiss a horse's ass? lol
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  • Profile picture of the author Marvin Lex
    Can someone translate that into English?
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  • Profile picture of the author Fredzmints
    I think im not at that level yet to understand this.
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    • Profile picture of the author discrat
      Thanks Thad,
      Good to see you around . This made my morning

      - Robert Andrew

      P.S. Moral of story...A lot of peeps in these parts do a lot of horse arse kissing and it's sometimes best to just turn your head and look away LOL

      OR

      Buyer behavior is centered around perception. If you can Market really well you can even convince someone that a piece of silly putty can be used to fix a leaky dam
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    • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
      Originally Posted by Fredzmints View Post

      I think im not at that level yet to understand this.
      It's OK, I don't either, unless it's about the power of storytelling.

      Or to confuse the buyer? Before returning them to a new certainty?

      Anyway, good to see you back. Thad.
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  • Profile picture of the author davidmac00
    I think he means put all your efforts into actually making money online, NOT looking for new ways to make money online!
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    • Nope, them there are some mighty fine answers but not what I had in my noggin noodle!

      ... uhhh ... don't lick your lips if you kiss a horse's ass? lol
      Well now, Suzanne, I would say that would be some purty good advise, wouldn't you? Although, I would be bettin that a lot of lady folks in this here forum would probably say they had kissed a few horses asses in their lifetimes!!!
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      Thaddaeus T. Hogg, The Hillbilly Marketeer
      http://www.hillbillymarketer.com
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    People will do stupid stuff to get rid of the symptom of the problem, and more readily.

    That's easier, to them, than solving the root problem.
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    • Profile picture of the author davidmac00
      So, could it be that when you are taking a lot of the advice from so called experts and you look behind the curtain/ lift the horses tail, what you find turns out to be S*^t!
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    • Profile picture of the author Barry Unruh
      Originally Posted by Jason Kanigan View Post

      People will do stupid stuff to get rid of the symptom of the problem, and more readily.

      That's easier, to them, than solving the root problem.
      Speaking of which.. How can I make $100 by tomorrow at 3PM without calling anyone or getting a job? (Or is that already discussed in 2000 threads?)
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      • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
        Originally Posted by Barry Unruh View Post

        Speaking of which.. How can I make $100 by tomorrow at 3PM without calling anyone or getting a job? (Or is that already discussed in 2000 threads?)
        BTW ewenmack in the Offline section will sometimes "treat us" to a question like the OP...you're much nicer than he is, as he'll let the questioning go on for three or four pages. The frustration mounts and the hear-tearing-out increases in proportion!
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      • Speaking of which.. How can I make $100 by tomorrow at 3PM without calling anyone or getting a job? (Or is that already discussed in 2000 threads?)
        Well, if you is wantin to do it online I would suggest you go buy a lottery ticket cause you have bout as much chance of winning the lottery!

        Now, if I was honestly needin $100 by tomorrow at 3PM, I would go door to door seein if any folks needed any handyman work done! There is a lot of folks who want to make the money but they jest want to do it the easy way!

        Now, most of you folks ain't got the... ummm, KNOWHOW... of Ole Thad. See, iffin I was needin to make $100 by 3PM tomorrow, I would just sell a jug or two of my special... elixir! I've gots a brand new batch and I added a touch of rattlesnake venom to it! WHOOOOOOO WEEEEEEE! One sip of that brew and you shore will be runnin nekkid through the holler screamin, "LAWD GAWD ALMIGHTY, JUST TAKE ME NOW CAUSE I HAVE DONE REACHED THE PINNACLE OF MY LIFE!" By the by, I have a contract with NASA so they can use it in their rocketships!

        Take care!
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        Thaddaeus T. Hogg, The Hillbilly Marketeer
        http://www.hillbillymarketer.com
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        • But I would love right now to puncture the screen with a drinkin' straw, ease it down through that horse's purso ass till it reaches your bayou, an' snorkel up the woodsmoke gunsmoke oxygen.
          Ain't you the one what bought one of my special homemade brews and you had me put a whole bottle of rattlesnake venom in it for you?
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          Thaddaeus T. Hogg, The Hillbilly Marketeer
          http://www.hillbillymarketer.com
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          • Originally Posted by Thaddaeus T. Hogg View Post

            Ain't you the one what bought one of my special homemade brews and you had me put a whole bottle of rattlesnake venom in it for you?
            Hey — so that is what happened to my eyebrow tweezers.

            I remember us fightin' to keep a grip on the neck of the bottle — me sayin' "don't kill me," an' you replyin' in fluent beard.

            If you still got the snake I could mebbe dig out the scales an' make you a comb incapable of straightenin' any kinda follicle — jus' in case a miraculously unbenign tornado rendered your sweet brush overly Gandalf.
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            Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff together.

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            • Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

              Hey -- so that is what happened to my eyebrow tweezers.

              I remember us fightin' to keep a grip on the neck of the bottle -- me sayin' "don't kill me," an' you replyin' in fluent beard.

              If you still got the snake I could mebbe dig out the scales an' make you a comb incapable of straightenin' any kinda follicle -- jus' in case a miraculously unbenign tornado rendered your sweet brush overly Gandalf.
              Lawd help me... I think I am startin to understand her!
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              Thaddaeus T. Hogg, The Hillbilly Marketeer
              http://www.hillbillymarketer.com
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              • Originally Posted by Thaddaeus T. Hogg View Post

                Lawd help me... I think I am startin to understand her!
                'Lixin' an' lissnin' gonna fix us some kissin'.

                (I am continuin' the marketin' theme here, not bein' suggestive.

                Way I see it, interactin' with beards in an oral capacity is a surefire way to encourage chapped lips -- unless said hair happens to be on your own face, in which case you are kinda spared the worst excesses of its lipular rasp.

                The cruelly overhirsute got hair bustin' outta their tongue an' throat along with their lips, but I figure they are the exception to this rule.)
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                Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff together.

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  • Profile picture of the author Doug
    Mr. Hogg,

    Thank you for the fine illustration stemming from your personal experience.

    I would say from reading your share that the marketer who discovers what works for them, needs to stick to it, no matter how nasty the process. After all, our efforts should line up with our goals.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and the entertaining manner employed.
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    • Profile picture of the author discrat
      OR
      it doesn't matter what you or I think about a Product, what matters is how the End User perceives the Product and it's benefits and how it helps them ( even if it seems extraordinary ludicrous to us lol).
      .... i.e. give them what they want
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  • Profile picture of the author CaRTmAnBrAh
    Is it,

    Pay no mind to those who talk in riddles because time waits for no man?
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    • Is it,

      Pay no mind to those who talk in riddles because time waits for no man?
      Well now son, you COULD say that OR you could say that wisdom comes in many packages and you will only receive it if you open all them boxes!
      Signature
      Thaddaeus T. Hogg, The Hillbilly Marketeer
      http://www.hillbillymarketer.com
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      • Profile picture of the author davidmac00
        Originally Posted by Thaddaeus T. Hogg View Post

        Well now son, you COULD say that OR you could say that wisdom comes in many packages and you will only receive it if you open all them boxes!


        *starts rummaging around looking for boxes to open!
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      • Well, them there are some mighty fine answers from all you folks! One of the reasons I posted it like I did was to maybe generate a little wisdom. Sort of a virtual pat you on the butt to send you on down the path!

        OR
        it doesn't matter what you or I think about a Product, what matters is how the End User perceives the Product and it's benefits and how it helps them ( even if it seems extraordinary ludicrous to us lol).
        .... i.e. give them what they want
        Well, seems like you win the little Kewpie Doll! One of the most basic thangs in online success is to find a need and fill it but don't be givin em crap! Ole Dookie used horse pucky cause that there is all he had!

        Folks do not give a gall durn dang about what you are sellin unless it fills their need! They do not give a wild hoot n holler if you want to be makin money online! They have a problem and they is wantin' you to solve it!
        Signature
        Thaddaeus T. Hogg, The Hillbilly Marketeer
        http://www.hillbillymarketer.com
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        • Profile picture of the author discrat
          Originally Posted by Thaddaeus T. Hogg View Post


          Well, seems like you win the little Kewpie Doll! One of the most basic thangs in online success is to find a need and fill it but don't be givin em crap! Ole Dookie used horse pucky cause that there is all he had!

          Folks do not give a gall durn dang about what you are sellin unless it fills their need! They do not give a wild hoot n holler if you want to be makin money online! They have a problem and they is wantin' you to solve it!
          it's quite the ahhner' coming from gewd falks like yerself

          You made my day a second time and that is a record
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  • Profile picture of the author MissWrite
    You, Sir, have one heck of an interesting delivery method. Not only was your post enlightening (along with the many guesses on its meaning) it was fun to read. Thanks for sharing the sage advice in such a delightful manner.
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  • That is so cool.

    Problem with a lotta stuff goes on upstairs is how I am inspired only to hurl over my monitor — stoopid, cos it has no equivalent of chapped lips.

    But I would love right now to puncture the screen with a drinkin' straw, ease it down through that horse's purso ass till it reaches your bayou, an' snorkel up the woodsmoke gunsmoke oxygen.
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    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff together.

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  • Profile picture of the author videobyemail
    Wow, thanks so much for making me laugh.
    Not too often I get a good laugh. always serious and focused on work.
    Thanks again!
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    Norman McCulloch

    You need to have the right 'vehicle' to create time freedom.
    To see what I 'drive'... Visit here <---
    (it's getting me where I want to go)

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  • Profile picture of the author greenowl123
    I reckon the lesson to be learnt is : "There's many a slip twixt the cup and the lip."

    I ain`t all that sure right now, owing to the fact that I jist guzzled down a jug of yer newfangled special "elixir".

    And by the way, I gave some of yer White Lightnin` to my pet possum and he ran for the hills faster than a scalded dog !
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    • Profile picture of the author discrat
      Originally Posted by greenowl123 View Post

      I reckon the lesson to be learnt is : "There's many a slip twixt the cup and the lip."

      I ain`t all that sure right now, owing to the fact that I jist guzzled down a jug of yer newfangled special "elixir".

      And by the way, I gave some of yer White Lightnin` to my pet possum and he ran for the hills faster than a scalded dog !
      For some reason, that Avatar I see you have just doesn't fit in with Narrative of your Post here
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      • Profile picture of the author greenowl123
        Originally Posted by discrat View Post

        For some reason, that Avatar I see you have just doesn't fit in with Narrative of your Post here
        Yep, I meant to be incongruent and a little bit facetious.

        My life today is extremely different than my origins. In many ways for the better, but I still miss having a pet raccoon and having my own private pond to fish in Although I do enjoy fishing in the ocean too.

        I actually grew up with people (for better or for worse) who routinely said things like "he ran faster than a scalded dog" or "that horse is slower than molasses on a January morning" or "there`s more than 1 way to skin a cat, and the cat don`t necessarily need to like any of them".
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  • Profile picture of the author EPoltrack77
    As an affiliate and understanding your numbers such as E.P.C You can just about predict your success and what is going to happen when you run some traffic!
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  • Profile picture of the author PVGUY
    Your product is determined by the user need or want it satisfies.
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  • Profile picture of the author megalinktraffic
    you need to put this in clickbank salespage
    to get more and more affiliates promoting it
    for you..
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