Offline Warriors: I need your opinion on this slogan ?

37 replies
Offline Warriors:

I'm making a banner that is 37.5 by 78inches long for an upcoming after hours party that we are throwing at a local chamber of commerce....in which our leads group will all have a table to present our services (on a side note...I will be the only marketer there). I want my #1 goal (for my business) to be clear for every business owner that potentially may want to use my services

So here is what I have my #1 Goal (on the banner) saying right now:

"Our #1 Goal"
Give you a better return on your marketing while increasing company profits by 45 % within 18 months.

I want a number like 45% just to throw people off like I've really thought about that figure. As well as also give a time frame to business owners like 18 months. The reason being is so that they can picture their company profits increasing 45% in 18 months. This "hook" will get much attention and get many people at my table at the after hours party....hence increasing the chances of getting more business. Subliminally, the 18 months....assumes that the business owner will be working with me for 18 months (hence increasing the potential longevity of each client).

Now some might say....well, are you sure you want to stick your neck out by giving time frames and percentages? My answer to this is simply as follows: Again...this is MY GOAL...but doesn't mean that I had the full compliance of the business owner to REACH this goal. And obviously goals are meant to strive for.....(and it is my goal to reach a 45% return within 18 months) but worst case scenario ....if I don't reach it....(for whatever reason) it was a GOAL rather than a guarantee. Again...its my goal to reach this 45% within 18 months...and believe I can do this for most clients (with full compliance).



So whats your thoughts on this being an effective marketing goal for my banner? The banner goes to print in 3 DAYS !!!!

Chris Negro
#offline #opinion #slogan #warriors
  • Profile picture of the author Martin Luxton
    Erm . . . it's not very catchy.

    Could you not make it a little shorter?

    Martin
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1151170].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author prashie91
    it's an interesting idea. but you have to definitely make sure that your prospects are made aware of this catch. it is very easy to misunderstand "goals" for "guarantees" even though they are different. I'd admit, upon first reading it, it did look like you were guaranteeing a 45% increase in profits. maybe it's just me, but ya, that's my opinion.

    but ya, as long as you make it absolutely clear that it's a target (that can potentially be reached) and not an absolute guarantee, you shouldn't have any problems.

    cheers

    prashant
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1151182].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author JonMills
    Do you have answers ready for the questions that will come concerning " How you plan to produce those results "

    If you could provide a case example to them that would probably increase the chance of people biting
    Signature
    http://www.thecopywriterwhisperer.com/ Persuasion at it's best!
    http://www.affiliateorganizer.com/ Organize your entire online business - Super affiliates give it the thumbs up!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1151184].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author chrisnegro
      [DELETED]
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1151214].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author chrisnegro
        Every business is diffferent. Not all marketing works for EVERY niche. In terms of the how....I'm not going to tell them (unless its a consulting arrangement) as I'm a marketing consultant....AND I GET PAID FOR MY IDEAS and my time . In order to understand this...you would have to turn off the "giving everything for free mindset" and actually put on the mindset of a consultant where you get paid to tell them the "how".

        However, I typically respond by saying this: "well what we can do is set up a time to meet so I can get to know your business more as again...the how is really depended on alot of things. It is dependant on the nature of your business, what your competition is doing, the level of your commitment to reach some of these goals and the current economic conditions.....but if you like I can come in and get to know your business a little and we can put something together for you.
        Signature

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1151218].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Killer Joe
      ""Our #1 Goal"
      Give you a better return on your marketing while increasing company profits by 45 % within 18 months."

      Chris,

      If I was to walk by your booth and saw this banner I would probably wonder why you are stating that your #1 goal is to increase your company profits by 45% with in 18 months. Who cares?

      If my goals for my company were not aligned with yours, I wouldn't relate to your banner. I'd simply keep on walking.

      On the odd chance that my goals were the same 45% in 18 months, then I may stop and ask you how you plan to do it because I want to do the same thing.

      What I'm alluding to here is that your banner is ambiguous with that slogan, and since most people will never take the time to dissect what you really mean you will lose a good percentage of your targets right off the bat.

      Here's the key...the very first word in your banner is the word "Our", so immediately I have to direct my frame of referrence to what you want instead of what I want, and if I'm not in the mood to be curious about your desires you just lost me. The rest of the message has no hook to pull me back in so I can relate to what my objectives are.

      Now, if your banner read..."Increase Your Bottom Line By 45% Within 18 Months By Getting a Better Return on Your Marketing Dollars - Let Me Show You How" I may decide I need to talk to you.

      You're not guaranteeing me anything, you're just asking to open up a dialog. I may tell you that I'm in a business that is using outdated technology and my sales have a 15% year over year decline and you can tell me there's nothing you can do for me. No hard feelings.

      Bottom line...putting your goals ahead of your prospects goals in a non-starter. Hoping their goals match yours so you have some common ground is a long shot at best. I know you didn't think you were doing that, but read your banner. That's exactly what you are doing.

      KJ
      Signature
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1151291].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author chrisnegro
        Originally Posted by Killer Joe View Post

        ""Our #1 Goal"
        Give you a better return on your marketing while increasing company profits by 45 % within 18 months."

        Chris,

        If I was to walk by your booth and saw this banner I would probably wonder why you are stating that your #1 goal is to increase your company profits by 45% with in 18 months. Who cares?

        If my goals for my company were not aligned with yours, I wouldn't relate to your banner. I'd simply keep on walking.

        On the odd chance that my goals were the same 45% in 18 months, then I may stop and ask you how you plan to do it because I want to do the same thing.

        What I'm alluding to here is that your banner is ambiguous with that slogan, and since most people will never take the time to dissect what you really mean you will lose a good percentage of your targets right off the bat.

        Here's the key...the very first word in your banner is the word "Our", so immediately I have to direct my frame of referrence to what you want instead of what I want, and if I'm not in the mood to be curious about your desires you just lost me. The rest of the message has no hook to pull me back in so I can relate to what my objectives are.

        Now, if your banner read..."Increase Your Bottom Line By 45% Within 18 Months By Getting a Better Return on Your Marketing Dollars - Let Me Show You How" I may decide I need to talk to you.

        You're not guaranteeing me anything, you're just asking to open up a dialog. I may tell you that I'm in a business that is using outdated technology and my sales have a 15% year over year decline and you can tell me there's nothing you can do for me. No hard feelings.

        Bottom line...putting your goals ahead of your prospects goals in a non-starter. Hoping their goals match yours so you have some common ground is a long shot at best. I know you didn't think you were doing that, but read your banner. That's exactly what you are doing.

        KJ
        You have a point in your argument. I do like that you point out the "OUR #1 Goal"...its always better to focus on THE CUSTOMER...rather than yourself. Nice response !!!

        Success,

        Chris Negro
        Signature

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1151310].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author TelegramSam
    It seems to me that it is not believeable.

    Even you already have "excuses" in place such as "it was a GOAL rather than a guarantee" also "doesn't mean that I had the full compliance of the business owner to REACH this goal".

    This doesn't seem right to me.

    It's alright pushing the boat out, but make sure you can deliver what you promise.

    I would make it more believable somehow, even if this is hard in practice.

    If you were to go ahead along the lines of what you wrote, "Give you a better return on your marketing while increasing company profits by 45 % within 18 months", I would make it shorter and easier to read and give it more impact.

    "Give you a better return on your marketing" is rather weak.

    Yes "increasing company profits by 45 % within 18 months" is more specific, but it clashes with the first part of the sentence.

    Even more specific would be "boost profits by 41% within 17%".

    But don't forget, you have to be able to back up your figures. Where do you get them from.

    If I was a potential client I would want some guarantees or at least evidence of your track record.

    Sam
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1151189].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author chrisnegro
      Originally Posted by TelegramSam View Post

      It seems to me that it is not believeable.

      Even you already have "excuses" in place such as "it was a GOAL rather than a guarantee" also "doesn't mean that I had the full compliance of the business owner to REACH this goal".
      Its not excuses...THESE ARE FACTS.... The way I approach my business, I can be pretty much reach what I say my goal is.

      Originally Posted by TelegramSam View Post

      "Give you a better return on your marketing" is rather weak.
      Maybe to you.....but this is BIG PROBLEM to business owners. They DON'T get good returns on their marketing. Are you a marketing consultant Sam that talks everyday to brick and morter business owners?


      Originally Posted by TelegramSam View Post

      Where do you get them from.
      Based on clients that I had a long term relationship with ....and ones that I did reach these figures within 18 months.

      Originally Posted by TelegramSam View Post

      If I was a potential client I would want some guarantees or at least evidence of your track record.
      There are NO guarantees that all marketing is going to work. Do the yellow pages or newspaper or radio marketing/advertising give you GUARANTEES? Of course not !
      Signature

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1151239].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author TelegramSam
        Its not excuses...THESE ARE FACTS.... The way I approach my business, I can be pretty much reach what I say my goal is.

        Well why not make it some kind of guarantee then?

        Maybe to you.....but this is BIG PROBLEM to business owners. They DON'T get good returns on their marketing. Are you a marketing consultant Sam that talks everyday to brick and morter business owners?

        I used to be before I went 100% online with my other businesses!


        Based on clients that I had a long term relationship with ....and ones that I did reach these figures within 18 months.

        Create some kind of profit sharing relationship so they know you mean business.


        There are NO guarantees that all marketing is going to work. Do the yellow pages or newspaper or radio marketing/advertising give you GUARANTEES? Of course not !


        Of course not, but your headline infers that.

        I'm not attacking you. I like others here are trying to provide you with an external viewpoint that you have requested.

        Only trying to help.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1151887].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Mangozoom
    Its more of a statement than a strap .. but I like what you are trying to do.

    Why not put a figure on the reduction in marketing spend as well for example ...

    Increase your profit by 43% & reduce your marketing spend by 14.8%
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1151198].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author chrisnegro
      Originally Posted by Mangozoom View Post

      Its more of a statement than a strap .. but I like what you are trying to do.

      Why not put a figure on the reduction in marketing spend as well for example ...

      Increase your profit by 43% & reduce your marketing spend by 14.8%
      Good point Mango !!!
      Signature

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1151262].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Kelly Verge
    Chris,

    Head over to the copywriting subforum and hire a copywriter to write a short "headline" for your banner. Give them the maximum # of words and what you're trying to accomplish.

    Even if you hire one of the big guns, one client would pay for the headline.

    (I wouldn't count on it, but it's possible you might get an idea or two offered gratis in the responses to your request.)
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1151244].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Killer Joe
    Originally Posted by chrisnegro View Post

    Ok Warriors...I've got an updated Banner Title and Sub Title. Whats your thoughts?

    Main Title"Increase Your Customers & Profits Today"
    Subtitle: Our goal is to decrease your marketing spend by 12% while increasing company profits by 43 % within 18 months.
    (*Smacks forehead*)

    It's the same ugly girl with a different dress.

    You're still hoping your numbers are the same as their numbers - that's not going to happen...

    You're bringing your goals to the forefront again - that's a loser.

    Read the banner verbage I gave you in my last post and see if you can detect the hooks to drawing prospects in. Here's a clue, you need something that sparks curiousity and has a call to action. It's really that simple.

    KJ
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1151382].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author EricWPM
      Hi Chris,

      Read Killer Joe's post again...

      You're thinking like an IM (and assuming that your prospects are too) by writing a headline suited for IM. We live and breathe this stuff everyday but most small business owners do not. Your current slogan is very bland and does nothing to draw a small business owner in. It's not written in terms that a small business owner can relate too. Most small business owners spend less than 20% of their time on marketing (which is good for us!)

      Now once you get an interested owner to your table you would then talk about your banner headline "Give you a better return on your marketing while increasing company profits by 45 % within 18 months" Because now you have time to explain in detail exactly what you can do for them and how. Those words should not be on your banner... it's the wrong message.

      Here's how you can prove it to yourself. Go up to a stranger and mention your slogan "Give you a better return on your marketing while increasing company profits by 45 % within 18 months" Would they even know what type of marketing you were talking about? (ie Print, YP, Internet, Magazine, TV, Radio, etc) Is the message clear? (ie would they know what you can do for them without explaining anymore info to them?) Can they explain back to you how you would help them attain those goals? (ie is it specific and attainable, trust factor) Hopefully you are seeing the point

      I agree with TelegramSam and Killer Joe. It's vague, unbelieveble, and if those numbers don't match mine... I'm probably not interested in it and will keep on walking. Don't push the customer away by talking about your ideas and goals.

      It's all about the customer. It has to be short, believable, and catchy!!! Get the customer to your table and then you can start talking numbers and explaining what you can do for them!

      Take your current headline and keep drilling it down. "Give you a better return on your marketing while increasing company profits by 45 % within 18 months" Ask yourself "What does that really mean (to the customer)? What are you really doing and how will the customer benefit? Now once you have your new answer drill it down again until you get to your #1 "core" benefit that you are really doing for the customer.

      Once you have that, then add a "hook" to that so it piques the customers interest and now you have your banner headline! Make it short, compelling, and believable... so the customer understands exactly how he will benefit from doing business with you!

      Eric
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1151596].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
        Chris, while I follow your reasoning for using specific numbers for returns and timing, I think you may outsmart yourself.

        Even if I understand what you are trying to offer on the banner, you don't yet know what I want.

        Suppose I want to double my business in 12 months, and I'm willing to spend some money to do it? If I take your offer at face value, you're promising me less than half the return I'm seeking, in half again the time. So I keep walking.

        You want to spark curiosity and generate conversation, not try to play some kind of subliminal NLP mind game.

        Something like:

        "Do your marketing dollars come back and bring friends? My clients' do. Let's talk..."

        Keep It Simple, Stud...
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1151649].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author chrisnegro
          Originally Posted by JohnMcCabe View Post

          Chris, while I follow your reasoning for using specific numbers for returns and timing, I think you may outsmart yourself.

          Even if I understand what you are trying to offer on the banner, you don't yet know what I want.

          Suppose I want to double my business in 12 months, and I'm willing to spend some money to do it? If I take your offer at face value, you're promising me less than half the return I'm seeking, in half again the time. So I keep walking.

          You want to spark curiosity and generate conversation, not try to play some kind of subliminal NLP mind game.

          Something like:

          "Do your marketing dollars come back and bring friends? My clients' do. Let's talk..."

          Keep It Simple, Stud...

          Let me clarify some things:

          I want the banner for MULTIPLE PURPOSES....not just one...not just 2. The banner itselve is going to be 3 feet whide by almost 7 feet tall. I want to be able to use this at "after hour parties" where I have a table, National Conferences where business owners are at, Marketing Workshops ect....

          So...the TITLE in and of itself is not just to promote discussion.....its the USP on how I can BENEFIT them and how I differ from other local marketing companies.
          Signature

          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1152235].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author kf
        I agree also with Killer Joe's comments above. You need to be thinking WIIFT ... forget about your goals. To get more clear, you might want to talk to a couple of contacts and find out how THEY would frame it. Just call them up, ask them what they would be looking for if they were hiring a marketing consultant to help increase their profits ... then WRITE DOWN what they say, in their own words.

        I would go with something like this ....

        We help companies INCREASE PROFITS, and SPEND LESS on marketing.
        How can we help YOU today?
        Signature
        Those who stand for nothing, fall for anything. ~ Alexander Hamilton
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1151676].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Akarin
    A bit too long and focus needs to be on the prospect. Any images to accompany the copy?
    Signature

    I Want Your Insurance Agent Traffic! - affiliate.IAIMS.com
    I Also Wholesale High-Quality, Exclusive Insurance Leads - www.IAIMS.com
    Insurance Agent Internet Marketing Systems (IAIMS)

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1151700].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author DukeNasty
    Chris,

    You are on the right track and the first thing I urge you to do is go get your hands on a copy of "5 Minutes with VITO". Get that book and you will never need to buy another WSO on how to approach any business owner ever again. VITO is the Very Important Top Officer and the book uses what is known as the "Big Idea" that you will use to communicate with VITO. In essence, the Big Idea will position you as a VITO as well that your target customers will want to speak with. Does it work? Absolutely. I have put close to $60k in revenue on the books in the last three weeks using these techniques (all the work is completely outsourced of course because I am a "big picture guy"!).

    All business owners want to increase revenue. All business owners want to increase profits. All business owners want to increase working capital. No business owner really cares about "increasing the return on their marketing". They actually care about it, but it is not what they are thinking about everyday when they are driving to and from work. While that is nice, they really care about the bottom line which is revenue/sales and profits. So craft your statement to speak DIRECTLY to that.

    So try something like this since you have actual customers (social proof) that you have results for:

    "10 Other business owners in your market rely on us to increase revenue while cutting marketing expenses by as much as 18%"

    "Based on our experience dealing with small business owners in Anytown, we suspect that we can increase your profit by as much as 18% while reducing marketing expenses within the next 90 days"

    So the same elements are in your statement, but you speak directly to a hot button that will cause them to want to talk to you. You still have th opportunity to be bold, but your numbers must be believable and the fact that you already have results from actual clients is even better. Remember, these guys (small business owners) have the moxy to actually get out there and start a business so don't be afraid of wowing them. I didn't have results from actual clients, but had industry numbers that I used when I delivered my message to business owners and it definitely causes VITOs to listen. Enjoy! You are on the right track and WILL knock it out of the park!

    E.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1151759].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author DukeNasty
    Oh, one other thing, in term of your time frame, forget about 18 months. That doesn't resonate with business owners. They are planning quarterly or maybe even monthly given the current economic environment. Let them picture a goal they can achieve in a reasonable time frame. 18 months is a long time!

    E.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1151779].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author chrisnegro
      Originally Posted by DukeNasty View Post

      Oh, one other thing, in term of your time frame, forget about 18 months. That doesn't resonate with business owners. They are planning quarterly or maybe even monthly given the current economic environment. Let them picture a goal they can achieve in a reasonable time frame. 18 months is a long time!

      E.
      Most business owners realize that if they do marketing.....they don't expect IMMEDIATE results. Depending on the business and the business owner, they are ok with results happening over time. Radio, Yellowpages, Newspaper ect are just some examples.

      HECK...MOST BUSINESS OWNERS I've found just throw money at marketing to see what sticks....in traditional marketing areas that don't work.....so trust me....they are GLAD...when they meet someone like myself....I'm not worried about that.

      What I am wanting to perfect is... the title (and subtitle) of my banner
      Signature

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1152240].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author DukeNasty
        Originally Posted by chrisnegro View Post

        Most business owners realize that if they do marketing.....they don't expect IMMEDIATE results. Depending on the business and the business owner, they are ok with results happening over time. Radio, Yellowpages, Newspaper ect are just some examples.

        HECK...MOST BUSINESS OWNERS I've found just throw money at marketing to see what sticks....in traditional marketing areas that don't work.....so trust me....they are GLAD...when they meet someone like myself....I'm not worried about that.

        What I am wanting to perfect is... the title (and subtitle) of my banner
        I know you want a banner. The problem is that there are other people like yourself that will eventually enter your market (if they haven't already) selling customers the exact same service. So the odds are that your potential customers are going to meet plenty of people like yourself so I wouldn't get too comfortable with that.

        Projecting 18 months out may be effective once you get in the door and begin taking over the entire marketing program, but it sounds like you are trying to get NEW customers at this upcoming meeting. You actually want them to bite on projected results of a year and a half long program as an introduction to your services and you think putting this on the banner is the killer app? You asked for suggestions, but don't seem very receptive to the suggestions people have posted. Good luck in your endeavors and enjoy the holiday weekend.

        E.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1152539].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author Killer Joe
          Originally Posted by DukeNasty View Post

          I know you want a banner. The problem is that there are other people like yourself that will eventually enter your market (if they haven't already) selling customers the exact same service. So the odds are that your potential customers are going to meet plenty of people like yourself so I wouldn't get too comfortable with that.

          Projecting 18 months out may be effective once you get in the door and begin taking over the entire marketing program, but it sounds like you are trying to get NEW customers at this upcoming meeting. You actually want them to bite on projected results of a year and a half long program as an introduction to your services and you think putting this on the banner is the killer app? You asked for suggestions, but don't seem very receptive to the suggestions people have posted. Good luck in your endeavors and enjoy the holiday weekend.

          E.
          I have to agree with this post. On many levels.

          With all due respect to Chris, the ability to listen, understand, and modify any approach is a critcal element to helping other businesses reach their goals.

          The flavor of Chris' posts don't show a willingness to adapt beyond his original plan. This kind of mindset is the kiss of death for many marketers.

          And banners are no different than any other medium of message. Just like an Adwords campaign has to go through constant tweeking looking for a decent control, so will any banner advertising.

          But a key ingredient here is the abilty to listen to the customers' needs and not try to box them in to a preformatted version of a marketing philosophy based on the marketers' headstrong desires. That is a recipe for mediocraty at best. And that is being optimist, to say the least.

          It's also a good way to leave lots of money on the table through missed opportunities by narrowing the client base to those few who fit into such a constrained box. That box being those that will just hand over their budgets and trust without questions or directives.

          As a small businessman myself for many years I have been approached by such individuals who believed they had the correct plan, yet failed to take my considerations into account. It's hard to do business on that level.

          And I also can see the wisdom of not concentrating too much of the sales effort on timelines such as 18 months out. This is very good advice.

          Chris, I know you'll read this so I also want to wish you the best of luck in your endeavors. I also hope you have the ability to take hard earned lessons and apply them towards future progress.

          And this statement is troubling - "HECK...MOST BUSINESS OWNERS I've found just throw money at marketing to see what sticks....in traditional marketing areas that don't work.....so trust me....they are GLAD...when they meet someone like myself....I'm not worried about that."

          This is self delusional. And worse, if it's true based on your experience it shows a very limited experience regardless of how successful you believe you have been in the past. What is says is you may have been not been performing up to your potential, only your satisfaction.

          There's a huge differnce in those two scales.

          I admit I may have sounded harsh in this post. Trust me, if I didn't think you were worth the investment in my time to respond I wouldn't have extended the effort. That's a compliment in case you missed it.

          KJ
          Signature
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1152628].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Mark Riddle
    "The best way to predict the future is to create it." Peter Drucker
    Let's create your better future today


    Your Customers WANT to by more from you.
    Let me show you how to get them what they want.


    The 7 Reasons why Marketing strategies fail
    Let me show you 10 ways that succeed.


    If we met 3 months ago
    You'd be banking bigger checks.



    Mark Riddle





    Signature
    Today isn't Yesterday, - Products are everywhere if your eyes are Tuned!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1152388].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author ahlexis
      Originally Posted by Mark Riddle View Post


      If we'd met 3 months ago
      You'd be banking bigger checks.



      Mark Riddle







      I think this one is VERY sexy!

      Straight to the point! Very sexy indeed! (I'm swiping this one, too!)
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1153170].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Dan C. Rinnert
        Two things come to mind for me.

        First, if the banner is too wordy, most people will never read it. This is basically a 3'x6.5' banner here. Too many words, and people's eyes will just glaze over. It needs to be short and simple to grab their attention and make sure they read it.

        Second, if you throw numbers at people, especially on a banner or something like this, they should be easy and meaningful. Percentages aren't easy or meaningful. It just makes me have to do math in my head. So, while you may be talking to me, I'm not really paying attention to you because I'm doing the math. Your message is largely lost then.

        I like Mark Riddle's suggestions. 3 months. 7 reasons. 10 ways. These are numbers that are easy and meaningful. I don't have to think about them. I instantly know what they mean.

        But, a 45% increase in profits? Or a 14% decrease in spending? What the frak? If I'm at an after hours event or whatever, the last thing I want to do is math, especially percentages. Increase in profits, I can understand. Same with a decrease in spending. But, put percentages in front of those statements, and I have to do the math.

        Basically, you're making it more difficult for me to figure out if you can help me. You might think you can win me over in conversation, but you've already lost me at xx%.
        Signature

        Dan's content is irregularly read by handfuls of people. Join the elite few by reading his blog: dcrBlogs.com, following him on Twitter: dcrTweets.com or reading his fiction: dcrWrites.com but NOT by Clicking Here!

        Dan also writes content for hire, but you can't afford him anyway.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1153237].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author J Bold
          Um, so when you get a customer and you increase they're business a bit but not 45% you'll say, "Oh, that was just a goal to get your business, it really meant nothing." Sounds BS, man.

          Well, as long as you're clear to them it's not a guarantee, it's a goal, then yes, it's fine.
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1153241].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Sylvia Meier
    Just wanted to say the original one is much to long I think, you need to keep it short and sweet, and I market offline everyday to businesses, small to large corporations and I think the advice you have been given is spot on.

    And I wanted to say Mark, I LOVE this one:

    If we met 3 months ago
    You'd be banking bigger checks.

    mind if I add it to my swipe file?
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1152702].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Mark Riddle
      Originally Posted by Sylvia Rolfe View Post

      If we met 3 months ago
      You'd be banking bigger checks.

      mind if I add it to my swipe file?
      Sure add it to your swipe file put it on you biz cards and post cards what ever you wish to do.

      Mark Riddle
      Signature
      Today isn't Yesterday, - Products are everywhere if your eyes are Tuned!
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1152773].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Paul Elliott
    Your customers want to know what's in for them - more money.
    Your customers want to know what it'll cost - less than they think

    What do you want? In the door of every attendee at every occasion.

    You can talk specifics when you are in front of them.

    Chris, if you're good, be bold!

    More profit faster or it's FREE!
    Let's talk!


    You can talk with a few, BUT be sure you have box or bowl on your table to collect business cards AND a sign-up pad for the ones who didn't bring cards. Be sure to put a label on the bowl to the effect that you'll contact them within 48 hours.

    Of course you will not want some of the "applicants" since they may be too slow, ineffective, disorganized, etc., but you can decide that when you interview them. For those you decide not to accept as clients, I suggest you offer them something helpful at your expense in appreciation for their interest in your services that will help their marketing. The Collapse of Distinction by Scott McKain is a good choice.

    Why give them something free when you don't feel they are a viable client right now? Two reasons: #1 They may be excellent clients some day and you just helped them get there! You're the hero they want to return to when the do "qualify." #2--AND MOST IMPORTANT--You have already given them something for nothing and they will turn into your sales force! ... especially if you continue to maintain loose but regular contact.

    That's the process of affinity bonding.

    And, yes, I do live in the real world of small businesses on a daily basis, and I have used the techniques I mentioned very successfully.

    Of course, if you're not very good or very confident in your ability to deliver, use some other text on your banner.

    My best to you!

    Paul
    Signature

    Paul Elliott--Marketing Coaching and Management With Unbelievable Guarantees!

    --Get 2 free e-Courses: (1) The 88 Marketing Tips That Will Change Your Life! & (2) 7 Ways To Stimulate Word-Of-Mouth Advertising at www.MarketingSuccessBlueprint.com/blog

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1152758].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author TyBrown
    It needs to sound sexier.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1152928].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author kennethtang
    Hi Chris,

    Haven't read the whole thread, so not going to go into "should you or should you not make such claims". Just commenting on your slogan per se :-)

    Maybe you can say something akin to the "7 in one blow" story? (Background: it was a bout a tailor who could swat/kill 7 flies in one blow. Not saying you can "swat" only flies, business-wise. Just saying that that phrase made it easier for his "legend" to spread )

    So, just say "45 in 18".

    And the people will ask "45 in 18? What the hell is that?" And there's your opening to talk
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1153247].message }}
  • Chris,

    Slogans is not what you want to concentrate on.

    What you need to give your client = customers is an unforgetable USP (Unique Selling Proposition) -- that's what sells.

    JMB
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1153258].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author TelegramSam
    Chris,

    I have just read this thread again and I think there are some real gems of advice here for you.

    One has to be big enough to step out of your own shoes, turn around and have a real good look at what one has been doing.

    This is an important skill each of us has to develop - The willingness to honestly look at oneself and one's activities.

    It seems to me that you have been defensive in some of your answers, as though you have to justify how you are doing things to us.

    It could be that you are trying to do too much with your banner.

    Currently, you are trying to attract them in the first place, get them to understand your numbers and percentages, then get them to figure out what it is you are selling, then get them to ponder your figures and the length of time that they think they will have to pay you (18 months at least) and then they have to decide whether to come and chat with you, so that you can then try to close them etc...

    Phew!!!

    Keep it simple.

    What is the one action you want them to do when they see the banner?

    Possibly, come over and see what you are offering.

    So write a message that helps make that to happen.

    By the way, I would put your web address on the banner underneath the slogan, in case a high percentage of people want to find out more before coming over to speak.

    Obviously, you need as good domain name and good professional content etc..

    I also think you should thank one or two of the people that have written you some useful answers.

    I have noticed too many people on the Warrior Forum don't thank others enough when they get help. (I include myself in that too and I will change this from no on.)

    It's almost as if it doesn't look cool if you thank people too much because it makes you look like you don't know much.

    Anyway, I'm off to find someone to thank...

    Sam
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1153432].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
    Let's look at this from another angle...

    Ford Motor Company got a lot of traction with a very simple slogan:

    "At Ford, Quality is Job One"

    They did not say:

    "At Ford, our number one goal is to reduce defects by 98.1% while increasing customer satisfaction 15.276%"

    Seems to have worked out for them...
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1153852].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Nat Jackson
    How about this:

    "GUARANTEED To Give You MASSIVE Results And INCREASE Your PROFITS By Up To 45%"
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1153859].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Mark Riddle
    The Banner we use for our internet radio station has our Coffee cup logo and the worlds

    "Bringing You The Worlds Finest Original Music"
    KcCafeRadio.com

    Mark Riddle
    Signature
    Today isn't Yesterday, - Products are everywhere if your eyes are Tuned!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1154161].message }}

Trending Topics