Did ya ever help someone and not even get a thank you?

Well I'm pretty sure they're unaware of their behaviour but there's still another way to feel appreciated. And that way is by telling yourself, '...Damn Scott! I'm proud that you did one hella of a job for someone...'

I find that a lot of people today have lost their manners. I, usually, can't say thank you enough.

Hey Scott,

my sense is that whenever we help someone, it is common
courtesy to say "thank you"...
but not everyone feels that is necessary to say it.
or some could have taken it for granted or
even expected it...lol

i even have experience of subscribers biting back
because they feel the methods don't work and we
knew it because they took NO action.

John

I have had it happen many times, when I've gone above and beyond what is required of my service as a seller on Ebay. I have done extra changes for free to websites for people after they have purchased - something most people would charge extra for - and with some customers not even so much as a 'thank you'.

It is frustrating when it feels like people just take you for granted or just expect things for free, but I agree with Tina - Karma will come back and bite them in the butt one day.

Yep, have had that happen A LOT!

The most recent I can think of is one where this small company had a new product that they were trying to get the word out for. They sent me a message, saying they were a small company and wanted help getting the word out but everyone else they ask wants money, and they're small and all that.

So, I took a look at their site and their product, and it was pretty cool. It was something that, if I had stumbled across it, I might have posted about it and sent some traffic their way.

And, I did do a mention for them. And I wrote back saying that I had done so, and it was something they could easily verify that I had done.

And then, nothing. No thank you. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

Seriously? They complain others want to get paid to do what I did for them for free, and then they can't even be bothered to say, "Hey, thanks!"???

You people. Look, you're all here to serve me. It's not about you. It's about ME. So get over yourselves and stop whining about stuff that isn't about ME, like someone saying 'Thank you.' That's so 20th century. Just do what you're told and then go stand over there until I need you to make something easier for me again. Why does it always have to be about you, when it's really all about ME.

Getting a Thank You is nice, but that's not why I try to help.

But, that being said, not giving a Thank You is rude, and I apologize for all the times I may have not done it here.

Cheers

I want to say thank you for just being a good person - this site is great and because of people like you this world is a better place . . . thank you

Hi Scott,
I understand how you were feeling at the time of this post.

In my short time on this earth, I've learned that the gratification comes
not from some one saying Thank You to me but rather from me seeing
what I have done actually helping some one.

I don't expect to receive a Thank You for helping some one. I would
rather give something with out expecting any thing in return.

This way when I get a Thank You it feels much better and helps
to continue the cycle while energising me to help others in need.

Here is an actual example that has keep me going to this very day!
http://www.warriorforum.com/main-int...need-help.html

That was a scary time for me and what I did made me a better person.
Till this day, My Son, Daughter, Wife and Grandchildren still talk about how
I was lucky to get the results I did.

Between me and you...It wasn't luck because I gave from the heart.

Anyway had it gotten any worse I still had Destiny on my side.
That's another story.

Hang in there and know what you did was the right thing to do.

It all will come back to you if you're sincere and your heart was in the
right place.

Have a Great Day!
Michael

Hasnt happened to me in awhile. But recently I have given a very Sincere and 'bottom from my heart' type of Thankyou to someone who did something for me that was very, very nice only to never hear a peep from them or any reply acknowledging my thank you to them saying 'hey no problem glad to help you ' .

It was kind of odd but I am just thankful and grateful for this person in helping me out to begin with !!

You know what they say... if I had a dollar for everytime someone "forgot" to say thanks, I'd be rich.

Ya know, I've never even thought about it before, I'm a people person and like to help in any way that I can, and when I help, or give advice, I never even think to check back to see if I got thanked! I love thanking people for their help as I genuinely appreciate it, but it's from the heart, not so they'll think I'm rude if they don't get thanked! Hmm, Dang, I hope that doesn't stay in my mind now aaahh, maybe I should start a thread have you ever overthought something? ; )

Hi there Scot,

"Free" has no value in it yet it is understandable to expect acknowledgment of your good will to help someone else. I remember having this conversation a while back with a friend and I came to the following conclusion; when you give 100% of yourself your value is hindered but if you give 50% i.e. guiding them to find the solution themselves you are more than likely to be appreciated. Strange but that is how it works; yet this does not mean that I will or you should will change the way you help people unless you are there to teach them values.



Sincerely,
Kazooli

Hey Scott,

Hope you are having a wonderful day I personally
love to help people out, sometimes those people
don't even say thank you I am always thankful in
my heart when people help me out and sometimes
to be honest it hurts not getting a thank you. It does.

It is amazing how small things connects with our
feeling such as one single word that says "Thank you."
I do believe in my heart if you care about others then
you'll get it back in a form of a hidden gift and this can
be anything, this makes our life such amazing journey.

Scott just by making this thread and you might be unaware
of this I believe you are helping people out, you are helping
others out by reminding them how important single words like
thank you can mean for others.

People who read this thread from now on they might start
becoming one of those thankful out there all because of you
starting this thread Scott

If people are asking for advice or question in life or in a forum
And get their question answered they of course should say
thank you because it can truly mean a lot to the person who
answered the question.

The truth is, sometimes people help others out because it can
mean a lot to them and if they don't get thank you it can make
or brake their day. So, if you are not already being thankful then
start today and be grateful for everything life has to offer you.

I truly believe Scott just for starting this thread you received
many kind words, do you see now how hidden gifts comes into
play in our life?

And one more thing Scott you are one of those out there with
a kind soul I can just feel it! - just for starting this thread you
have help many people and remember many how powerful it is
to say thank you and be thankful!

To close this I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who posted
in this thread.

- Bertie.

All the fingers are not same man. So, We cannot all the people to say "Thank you" and/or "go to hell"

Me too have got such experience, at the same time, I used to say my "Thxs" always.

Yep. It's a piss off. I'd really like to name and shame the pair who were running a very badly-written WSO here and asked for help. I virtually re-wrote the damn thing. They posted it and I'm sure it pulled a lot better than their effort. Didn't get so much as a "thanks". So I left a comment on the WSO - something like "I see you used my copy suggestions. A thanks would be nice". They replied something like "Give us a chance Malkie" and I never heard from the ungrateful wretches again.
Won't stop me helping others but obviously some people are just selfish, ignorant, badly-brought-up (insert rude word here).

It's too easy to assign blame on "that ungrateful *******" because they didn't reciprocate in the manner I had envisioned on the outset.

I've learned to never do anything out of my own good will with any kind of expectation in return.

Before I changed my attitude, I realized that it was unfair to impose my own view onto others, even under the auspices of being good and forthright in my desire to "help" them. Then, when the situation didn't turn out as I had expected, I was disappointed in the other person and the outcome.

After a while, I grew spiritually and emotionally, and realized that the disappointment wasn't their fault - but my own. I had unfairly imposed my own values and standards upon someone else, who simply wasn't equipped to meet those expectations.

Sure, I did it out of my own good will and genuine desire to help them out.

But as the old saying goes, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions".

Now, I simply do things for people for my own growth as a human being, not theirs.

There's a transcending freedom that comes with simply giving as a selfless act.

You know it is kinda funny...as a programmer I never seemed to get a thank you 80% of the time. But in IM...people that we have taught, and PMs, and support tickets etc...

I think pretty much everyone has always thanked us. So I have to say...the human race may not be as bad as I thought lol.

I think you'll always get people that take without giving. My mum used to say those 2 little words go a long way (thank you).

Rich

Happens all the time.

I believe in Karma ... not for them as I would never wish anything bad for them, rather for myself. I believe as long as I do good things for others good things happen to me .... and they do!

Gary

Just a thought here, stolen from a Star Trek movie...

"Revenge is a dish best served cold."

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!

Hi Scott,

I completely agree with you, people don't seem to value free anymore.

I experienced it many time, and this make me really sad, because I love to help people.

Simon

Can it be any easier than to just hit the "thanks' button in this very forum.
Copywriting is an highly paid profession as is webdesign and other
professions.

Hey, just and simple idea can be worth millions.

I think most people don't realise the true value of what you've just given
them. I notice an alarming trend in IM - most of the time people starting
out expects everything for free. What happened to good ole you pay for
what you get? Even if it is a measly 10$ - will you then appreciate it or
will you attitude be : I've paid for it - why thank you? I'm sure the majority
of IM gurus and other warriors sharing their free advice would appreciate an
honest thank you from the heart and how it really helped you. Not to put on
their webpages as a testiomonials or to show off their warrior stats.

But mostly helpfull people get an absolute "kick" out of helping others.
Or am I wrong?

Keep well and thank you.

I always get a thank you, one way or the other; just sometimes it's not from the person I helped.

There are forces at work in the Universe and your good deeds do not go unnoticed by these forces. Keep helping people.

Im involved in an interesting situation at the moment, that in hindsight I only have myself to blame for...

I thought about starting a post about it ...but meh.

I had a website for sale and had organised a buyer at $15,000. Everything was almost finalised when a close friend offered to buy it from me for the same price. I decided that I wanted to minimise the "risk" of being ripped off by selling it to someone I didnt know, and sold it to my close friend.

Guess what happened next?

I immediately became *&^@%$! ongoing support for my old website that I wanted to sell purely because I didnt have the TIME to run/maintain it in the first place.

So Ive basically lost the last 8 weeks messing around making changes/improvements to a site that I no longer own, that is not making me any income and is now preventing me from working on my own projects.

Lessson here folks, never sell if it means having to provide unwanted support!

lol what a load of b.s funny though

Actually theres nothing worse than someone doing you a favour simply for the fact of making a point of reminding you later of them having done it in the first place.

That sucks.

I don't even expect to hear back from people I help anymore. Over the years you sort of get used to it. I'd say about 5%, maybe 10% gets back to me in some form or another. By far the most popular reaction is complete silence.

Frequently!

I don't mind not receiving appreciation for my help near as much as I mind the sense of entitlement implied by someone's failure to do so.

When you have helped someone and they fail to communicate an understanding of the fact that you've just done them a favor it makes me wonder if they thought I, or someone else, somehow owed them that favor.

Hell, it makes you question if that person even understands that what you did was a favor. After all they are who they are. You should feel honored that they deigned to allow you to do whatever it is you did for them.

Or perhaps they just don't know how to say "Thank You". But if that is the case perhaps they should forget how to say "Help".

"Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary."

Margaret Cousins

Thank You,
Gene

Well, I guess you could always make the receiving of a 'Thank You' a condition of your giving help to someone. You could simply offer it like this:

"I will help you on the condition that you will thank me in return. If you agree, sign here..."

Or perhaps you could do it on the condition that they thank you *before* you give your help. This would avoid you the despair of those cases where the promise is broken.

To be serious though, yeah it's nice to be thanked. Though I personally don't look for it. Why bound yourself by the actions or non-actions of others?

Some people just are caught up in their own problems and worried only about how things effect them. Most are not aware of their rudeness until you bring it to their attention. We could sure use more empathy toward others in this world

Make it a practice to help without expecting anything in return.

I forget this sometimes too. And when I do is when I invite the let down in.

Funny thing is I get this offline, on the streets too! Someone will come along, ask you for directions which you painstakingly give, then walk off with a gruff "ok" and nothing more. Wassup with tat??

I would settle for a "it worked" or "it didn't" so I wouldn't have to keep checking back to see if they needed more help. If they don't at least respond in some manner then you have no way of knowing if they've even read your reply.

I don't worry about the thanks part too much though. I help because I can and that's just the way I am.

It's interesting how our expectation of being thanked creates the dissatisfaction when you're not thanked.

If you're going to help someone free you shouldn't really be expecting anything in return...that makes the process a whole lot easier.

There are just so many people these days who never say thank you almost regardless of how much you help them.

I wouldn't let that stand in the way of genuinely helping people. That is a reward in itself.

Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh

This thread is nice, now we have a thread full of people who we know will actually help and all we have to do is thank them after, bookmarking it

On a serious note. To all of those who are sincerely helping people "Thank you" you make this world a better place.

Yes, happens all the time.
Somehow, anything related to fixing computers and websites is regarded as so trivial by some people that it doesn't warrant a thank you.(But that will only ever happen once with me )

But these people are greatly outnumbered by those who appreciate what you have done for them, and are willing to pay good money for services rendered, give you a bottle of something nice to drink, or just give you a kind work of thanks - depending on their situation.

I have always taught my students to put a price on every service and let others give it away. Giving things away MAKES them valueless.

Hi Scot, l have to tell you that l have been helping people all my life, not on the internet but still l know exactly how you feel and it leaves you a little more than flat, it kinda hurts quite a bit. But you know what, l cannot help myself, l just have to help when l can no matter what the outcome is, that's just who l am, but every time it happens, l say to myself that's it no more. Well it doesn't work l continue for the simple satisfaction of knowing that l have helped someone in need out. One day you will reap the rewards, even if it's only self satisfaction in knowing that person has gained in some way, that is worth more than any money can buy. Good luck to you my friend you are not alone.
P.S. In my experience though people who do this sometimes have forgotten without thinking but certain people have suffered badly in some way. Bad things do happen to bad people in the end.

Personally its slightly annoying when people don't have the manners to thank you for your help as it shows lack of appreciation.
(Even if it wasn't really helpful, At least the thought was there)

Its not a HUGEEE problem... Doesn't bother me at all to be honest, Apart from if I've helped them out big time.

Like me, When I was younger my parents ALWAYS taught me to thank people.
(If I thought what I'd been taught when I was younger was B.S, Then I wouldn't thank anyone)
But I know manners cost nothing to use, And they were right regardless of what anyone says.

I suppose people get raised differently and have different values.
Its part of life

If I didn't get a thank you then I would probably be more reluctant to help them in the future.

Also people forget to thank people if they're not together in person (it's bound to happen and no problemo)

But if you help someone when you are with them and they don't even thank you.
Then I find that rude, And they don't deserve the help as they are ungrateful.

I even say thanks for someone holding a door open for me or passing me something, Even in a shop when I buy something.

I will teach my children the same and hope most of you would/have too!

That's just the way I see it

Sadly people do act like this scott my advice is to not let it get to you.

kind regards


sam
X

Thank you is the words that differenciate the success from the failure.

It is just natural that some people don't value people help. Ultimately, these people will screw up in their life. I have saw many people who just walk away without a thank you after receiving people help. They get so "famous" in just a night, name spreading around... Huh... This is the "payoff" of not saying that.

Then you know what's next...

A thank you can save you a million bucks! Why is it so hard to say?