Don't burn your Bridges in Internet Marketing... Control Yourself :(

29 replies
Over the years one thing I have seen on a consistent basis here is people who just do not know how to communicate properly.

They haven't learned the age old lessons of having tact and proper decorum.

So when there is a disagreement, I have seen some Marketers on here ( newbies and experienced alike) get defensive and say offensive things to others who may disagree with them.
And they end up really making it very personal and start attacking. They take it the wrong way and ultimately make fools of themselves

My take ?? Well, I know for instance awhile back a Marketer here who has instigated more personal attacks on people than most anyone else I am aware of ( well in the top 5 at least lol) PMed me to to get involved with his new IM venture.

Honestly, the guy was so annoying and abrasive I did not want to have anything to do with him or his project. Just had zero trust in him and zero respect for his bombastic behavior.

So I passed.

Anyway, just a piece of advice to some out there who have a hard time in controlling their sometimes 'bad' behavior and the way they treat others in the Community here

...you just never know down the road if those same people you treated so poorly could really help you out. And Iam sure they will take a pass just like I did


- Robert Andrew
#bridges #burn #internet #marketing #marketingcontrol
  • Profile picture of the author Steve B
    Excellent advice Robert.

    Unfortunately, some people are always critical of others. They buzz around online looking for confrontations, arguments, and ways to put others down.

    Why? I'm not sure, but I think they find satisfaction in (wrongly) thinking that they can elevate themselves by making others look bad. They are not here to learn or share . . . they simply find pleasure in building themselves up. Most reasonable people see right through this behavior.

    This is a public forum and opposing opinions should be respected. That's not to say that lies and mis-information should go unchallenged.

    A member can certainly make an opposing post that focuses on why he/she believes a thread or a post is in error (point by point) but without making it personal by attacking the person whose opinion he opposes.

    Let's keep it friendly and civil.

    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author iwantbreak
    Internet Marketing is quite a tough job to deal with...it does have the benefit of costing too low to handle things around...but since you are not visible to people directly, it becomes way more difficult to convince people, especially when you are selling an intangible service rather than a tangible product...
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  • Profile picture of the author Janice Sperry
    Great piece of advice. Should be a sticky.

    We have some members that are very good at having pointed debates or disagreements but at the same time, they are careful not to let it get personal. Those discussions can sometimes help all of us no matter what position we have taken.

    Then we have some members that it seems like EVERYTHING becomes personal. Even when a member happens to be right on an issue if they are dogmatic, belittling, sarcastic, condescending and such - how is that helping anyone? How does it build confidence that you can believe what the person says?

    Ten years ago most things in the IM world were much more black and white. In the last few years things have changed so much there is very little that absolutely applies the same way from one marketer to the next. It seems like with every topic there are hundreds of variables that apply in different ways to each marketer, niche, geography, time zone, budget, experience, platform, business model, etc.

    Great reminder to keep it civil... business-like... A good network of colleagues includes those that don't always agree with you and are willing to tell you. However, no one wants a child-like know-it-all that is aggressively putting other people down all the time to be in their circle of business associates.

    Peace and love.
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  • Profile picture of the author salegurus
    You guys are sooooooo boring.......

    But seriously, i think this guy is a good example of what you said:
    http://www.warriorforum.com/main-int...l#post11085491
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  • Profile picture of the author Tom Addams
    This is my favourite post of the year, Robert, and it gets my vote for a sticky.

    - Tom
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  • Profile picture of the author eDreamer
    This is SO true.

    But not just here, I've seen this sort of thing with business owners who 'clap back' at customers who leave negative reviews too. It completely turns me off as a potential customer.

    Moral of the story... don't be a jerk, you never know who's looking or what consequences it will have.
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  • Profile picture of the author ImRoment
    I must say, a great advise from an experienced warrior... thumbs up man (y)
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  • Profile picture of the author Brent Stangel
    Strikes a match and grins manically...
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  • Time's blade cuts with bleak finality.

    Guillotineo Max!

    So I guessya gotta figure pre-slash an' post-slash.

    Forgive me my combinatorial metaphors but I am Combat Grrl rn.

    An' I would wanna slice out my own bar, gonna leap.

    Thing is, I would always wanna be positive.

    That is how contribyootion wins out over vacuums suckin' ya deep into VOIDS BEYOND.

    If ever I persisted as a SLAYER here, it is cos I am procreatively antsy, an' I so wanna UP UP UP outta all crap.

    Princess, You Were Never a "Slayer" --
    You Were Merely Always Risible


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  • Profile picture of the author agmccall
    I wish Big Frank was still here

    al
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by agmccall View Post

      I wish Big Frank was still here

      al
      You mean "Mr. Never Provided Anything of Value?"

      There's something to be said for brutal honesty and insight gained from experience, delivered in an pithy manner even if some consider it curt. Personally, I value that, highly and compared to the usual post nowadays from people that are too new at this to even be considered as having reached the rank of newbie, his 'frank' commentary seems to have been right on the mark. And give the guy this - he never backed down from anyone or anything and had the stamina of a rhino in defending his positions. He could spot a poser a mile away and bring them to their knees.

      Yes, he could certainly come across as an ass to the uninitiated, but in viewing many of his post from before my arrival, it's obvious his heart was in the right place, even when his head was up his ass.

      I think he is sorely missed. Every forum needs at least one Big Frank to keep the posers on their toes and to give the dreamers that think they are destined for instant Internet riches a cold splash of reality. Anyone that could irritate that many people, must have been doing something right.

      I say, 'Bring back Big Frank.' That should win me a lot of friends, here!

      Of course, we could do without all of that Mac evangelizing, but no one is perfect. He was probably dropped on his head at birth.

      Thank you.
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      • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
        Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post

        You mean "Mr. Never Provided Anything of Value?"

        Yes, he could certainly come across as an ass to the uninitiated, but in viewing many of his post from before my arrival, it's obvious his heart was in the right place, even when his head was up his ass.

        I think he is sorely missed. Every forum needs at least one Big Frank to keep the posers on their toes and to give the dreamers that think they are destined for instant Internet riches a cold splash of reality. Anyone that could irritate that many people, must have been doing something right.

        I say, 'Bring back Big Frank.' That should win me a lot of friends, here!

        Of course, we could do without all of that Mac evangelizing, but no one is perfect. He was probably dropped on his head at birth.

        Thank you.
        You forgot to mention that he parted the Red Sea!

        And dropped on his head at birth, goes without saying.

        Cheers :-)
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  • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
    Rob, what you say isn't just true for ad hominem attacks. And it doesn't just apply online.

    I have a running list of businesses and individuals that I will never do business with. The easiest way to make this list is, as you say, turn what could be useful debate into a personal flame war.

    Another way to make the list is to offer advice on how to game other peoples' systems, get way with violating copyrights, advocating theft, etc. I've run across promoters whose ethics would make a sewer rat uncomfortable, yet they scream "trust me" in their signatures.

    Good post!
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  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    Originally Posted by salegurus View Post

    You guys are sooooooo boring.......

    But seriously, i think this guy is a good example of what you said:
    http://www.warriorforum.com/main-int...l#post11085491
    Him, nah, Walking Carpet and Don, took psychotic behavior to a hole new level, and got banned for life to prove it.

    Well, one tried to mussle his way into another forum and got banned for life there too, quite a feat.

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  • Profile picture of the author wartest
    Thanks Robert. I have seen examples of this through the years and it rarely ends well for both parties.
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  • Profile picture of the author yukon
    Banned
    I don't remember sending you a PM.
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    Hi
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  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    Originally Posted by discrat View Post

    Over the years one thing I have seen on a consistent basis here is people who just do not know how to communicate properly.

    They haven't learned the age old lessons of having tact and proper decorum.

    So when there is a disagreement, I have seen some Marketers on here ( newbies and experienced alike) get defensive and say offensive things to others who may disagree with them.
    And they end up really making it very personal and start attacking. They take it the wrong way and ultimately make fools of themselves

    My take ?? Well, I know for instance awhile back a Marketer here who has instigated more personal attacks on people than most anyone else I am aware of ( well in the top 5 at least lol) PMed me to to get involved with his new IM venture.

    Honestly, the guy was so annoying and abrasive I did not want to have anything to do with him or his project. Just had zero trust in him and zero respect for his bombastic behavior.

    So I passed.

    Anyway, just a piece of advice to some out there who have a hard time in controlling their sometimes 'bad' behavior and the way they treat others in the Community here

    ...you just never know down the road if those same people you treated so poorly could really help you out. And Iam sure they will take a pass just like I did


    - Robert Andrew
    Yes, this also covers individuals who, get pi***d, since you bring up or comment on a subject matter they believe in.

    You supply good evidence to show a concept is not valid, and they bring up little to no evidence and tend to just go off at the mouth.

    In the end you just keep your distance, knowing that you cannot reason with them, which obviously includes business dealings or advise.

    I have seen individuals on new age forums that just seem to attack anyone and anything, eventhough they have p**all evidence. Individuals like that are just ignored and avoided, since their mindless negativity is unproductive.

    But individuals that comment that "this is all crap" since l don't believe in it", yeah, no one knows everything, especially if they don't try it out.

    Or they assume that everyone who has experienced something, are insane or stupid or delusional.


    Unless two or more people experience the same thing, then there is silence!

    Silence either leads to forgetting about it, and making the same statement on another occasion, or coming up with ridiculous reasons why it cannot be.

    How can you discuss something, with someone who is borderline fanatical about being right,....you cannot.

    There should be evidence given on both sides, with valid reasoning given til a plausible conclusion or stance is taken, not l am right eventhough l have little evidence, but l am still right, since l believe in this 100%.

    People believed that man made flight was impossible, but were proven to be wrong. Even professionals in the field said it was impossible and also proven wrong.

    And even after the Wright Brothers Flew, some still believed that it was a fake and still impossible.


    I personally don't get the determined reluctance to look at the truth head on. Probably fear, probably losing a security blanket, and probably losing a part of themselves is the reason.

    Either way, such individuals are eventually avoided, for business and personal reasons.

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  • Profile picture of the author discrat
    Quite bizarre that for 3 days this was in Main Forum. Then all of the sudden down here in the lowly Off Topic Forum lol

    Especially when it was meant to directly help Internet Marketers and how they communicate with other fellow Internet Marketers....and ultimately how that can have an direct impact on their Online business ( even showed a personal example)

    Hardly "off Topic"
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  • Profile picture of the author Steve B
    Happens to me regularly . . . hire a bunch of mods that have no marketing backgrounds. They see a word or phrase in your post that matches the title of a different section . . . and away it goes! Recently it happened to me, a mod with fewer than a dozen posts decided I didn't know the most appropriate section for my thread after 12 years of experience here.

    Steve
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    • Profile picture of the author yukon
      Banned
      Originally Posted by Steve B View Post

      Happens to me regularly . . . hire a bunch of mods that have no marketing backgrounds. They see a word or phrase in your post that matches the title of a different section . . . and away it goes! Recently it happened to me, a mod with fewer than a dozen posts decided I didn't know the most appropriate section for my thread after 12 years of experience here.

      Steve


      How does that make you feel? - Dr. Phil
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  • Profile picture of the author Tom Addams
    You should always judge a book by its cover.

    I was at university when I was nineteen, studying economics and business finance in London, England, and I remember briefly covering something we call the "halo effect." As you'll already know, this is a cognitive bias (so Wikipedia reminds me now that I'm nearing forty-two) in which "an observer's overall impression of a person, company, brand, or product influences the observer's feelings and thoughts about that entity's character or properties." I considered the halo effect very much a wishy-washy topic at the time. Compared to topics within micro and macroeconomics, for example, it seemed - well - a bit sodding lame, really. But only a handful of years later, and every year since, knowledge of the halo effect has served me well in business.

    Take Warrior Forum, for instance. As Robert cleverly informs us - and I still believe we need a sticky on this, admins - you can learn a lot by observing and intelligently assessing the behaviour of your fellow Warriors. Does someone appear incessantly angry and argumentative? Perhaps their business could be doing better. Of course, perhaps they're just having a bad day, or perhaps they have unpleasant issues in their personal life, but - still - perhaps their perceived mood is a result of an ailing business. Likewise, does a person appear desperate for signature views? Do we see thread after thread from them? Clickbait headlines? Lead magnet articles? Those things could hint at desperation. If you assess Warriors, based on these examples and a whole range of others I'm sure we could all contribute, you can develop a clearer picture of the business men and women in your vicinity.

    I hope they don't mind (I'm sure they won't), but I'd like to point out two people who seem (to me) exemplary Warriors: Discrat (Robert) and John McCabe. According to my own perceptions, I suspect that, like myself, neither man is presently sat in a twenty-room mansion, flooded with manservants and celebrities, but I also suspect that both men are professional and accomplished business men, quite well off as a result, and, at heart, good people. If the right opportunity arose, therefore, I'd consider it a sensible business move to work with either man. But there's more to it than that. One of the things I appreciate about Warrior Forum is the free education it affords me. We should never stop trying to learn and, even after getting my start in the business 22 years ago, I still find myself being a perpetual student, and due to the dynamic and evolving nature of the business, that will never change. Point being, men like Robert and John are my teachers. I have done what my English teacher in school told me to avoid and I have judged two books by their respective covers and, as a result, I feel I can trust both men to teach me well.

    You and I, we're on a piece of rock revolving at 24,000 miles an hour, hurtling in its eliptical orbit through space, and around us are men and women doing all manner of different things to pass the time, and by assessing those men and women, judging their covers, we can decide who should win our friendships and our partnerships. We may not always be right in our assessments, but to go through life without considering our perceptions? A willing blindness.

    And, when it comes to business, being blind is bad business.

    - Tom
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Good stuff Robert

    Be nice. Be compassionate. Be courteous. If anybody seems nasty, they are being nasty from a place of fear, and they are miserable. No sense piling on. Let them go. Then, give your attention to the nice, helpful guys like you and Steve and John M and the Warrior regulars who are helpful, kind, honest and responsive.

    I am here to help folks and to learn, but really, you 3 pulled me back in to the forum. Good vibes, lifting up the Warrior-O-Sphere.

    Ryan
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  • Profile picture of the author Dawood
    Some people are naturally like that.....
    you cant change their hearts....i've come across many of them...but i just walk away...

    Dawood.
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  • Profile picture of the author arthurnyc
    "say offensive things to others who may disagree with them" I agree wholeheartedly but doesn't this sound a little like todays politics?

    Too much of our business is done on forums, email and text that people say things they would never dare say in person.

    No barrier to entry means no experience (technical or personal) required.

    IMHO
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  • Profile picture of the author cjsparacino123
    lol too late for this one
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  • Thank you, Robert Honestly, a few months back, I was thinking of quitting this forum for good as there are really rude comments here. I do not have any issues with arguments but it will be better if we only stick to "healthy" argument to help and improve the IM community.
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