Retirement Could Be Ugly

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So, this past Thursday was my birthday and the day for the past 4 years that I promised myself that I would formally retire. I obviously wasn't ready in the years prior, as I somehow just kept working as if nothing had changed. I didn't have any financial need to keep working, nor a financial desire, as I have managed to acquire all of the material possessions anyone could want in life.

No. I think it came down to having an extremely addictive personality and work just became the latest iteration of my mental modus operandi. I tried every distraction to wean myself off of working 7 days per week which I had been doing for the past 10 years, but absolutely nothing worked, not even for so long as a single day. The only thing that ever kept me away from my computer on any given day were hospital stints.

I think it just came down to the fact that I love to create things, especially from a germ of an idea - usually something that others declare as impossible, not in relation to the feasibility of success or failure, but rather due to the complexity of the project and the amount of work that would need to be devoted to the project, especially since I prefer to do as much of it as possible. I rarely do things to 'make money' as that usually sucks the joy out of working on them. Sure, making money is always nice, but not a prerequisite to tackling something.

I learned long ago that as soon as you assign tasks to others, you instantly become dependent on their competent and timely delivery for your own success or failure. Since they were never as personally invested in my projects as I was, the effort would usually be nothing more than perfunctory and wholly unsatisfying. I would usually spend an inordinate amount of time tweaking their efforts if not starting from scratch to achieve my stated goal. Simply put, a total waste of time and money. I haven't made that mistake in the past two years which honestly has slowed me down, but that is counter-balanced by being much happier with taking charge of things myself and making them happen - my way - right or wrong. When wrong, at least it only cost me time and not money to learn the error of my ways and if you want to say that 'time is money,' a belief that cause a high degree of vacillation on a daily basis in my mind, at least the time was spent learning something that would increase my earning potential, going forward - and not just for the current project, but for all future projects.

This is not to say that I am a perfectionist. I learned decades ago - many decades ago, that there is no such thing as perfection and that we live in an imperfect world and everyone in it is flawed in one way or another, both as a person and in their work product. It's more about vision and self-confidence. I want things done the way I want them done, without compromise. My lack of self-confidence in relation to my technical abilities, has always been a bone of contention and created that universal conundrum of 'should I learn it,' or, 'should I farm it out?' As there are an infinite number of disciplines which one could master if they had all of the time in the world, in practice that doesn't seem a realistic pursuit.

A few examples. I have never spent a minute of my life doing even the most basic SEO implementation. Angsting over SEO strategies is something I decided long ago that I would never devote a minute of my life to, nor would I ever pay anyone so much as one thin dime to do it for me. Almost 100% of my business is (or should I say, was) generated via telemarketing to local businesses and the growth of my business was enhanced through the power of learning how to ask for referrals and working them. I have never needed anyone to 'find me online." I find them. I have never stopped being amazed at the amount of stress that people create for themselves by the constant need to partake in what they believe to be, the latest and greatest advance in SEO, (this month). Am I saying that SEO is not a good thing. Of course not. What I'm saying is, it would never work for me as it's to cold and impersonal to entice me to immerse myself in it. We only have so much time on the planet and I'll be damned if I'm going to spend any of mine doing SEO, when I know I can pick up the phone and have a much better chance of getting work, because while SEO may help someone find your website, that's all it does. Period. My website does little to convey my warmth and charm (fake it 'til you make it). That's what the phone is for. I may look like Harvey Weinstein, but on the phone if you close your eyes you'll think you're talking to George Clooney. That's why I make every attempt to never actually meet any of my clients in person. Why ruin a beautiful illusion?

Another example. 'Building a list.' I have never needed one, so I have never built one. Do I have a list? Of course. But it's totally comprised of people that are already my clients. lol There's not a single name on it that belongs to someone I have never worked for. Do I email them? Sure - once a month on average to make them aware of things I feel may be relevant to them running their business - but never as an attempt to sell them anything. Never! I would never think to mail them more than once a month unless there was timely, critical information which needed to be disseminated, immediately. Should they call after receiving my email for additional information, I still don't try to sell them anything. I answer their questions, or allay their fears and should they ask if there is something they should do or buy to deal with any issues, I always attempt to tell them they shouldn't unless there is potential for a problem going forward. The main reason I do that is so when I do tell them, "Yes, you need to 'invest' in this product or service," there is never any pushback at all. They say, "Please take care of it for me." Done! No one has ever unsubscribed from my list, nor complained about receiving email from me, including folks that I haven't done work for in a good while. Obviously they consider my mini-missives as important and worth a few minutes of their time to peruse.

I make it a point to unsubscribe from any Internet marketer who mails me more than once a week, especially when their only goal is to try to sell me something. A totally worthless annoyance. I have lived without the crap they are hawking, just fine and I'll probably go to the grave having never missed it. So, if anyone ever tells you that building a list is the single most important thing you can do in business and that you can't survive without it and that you should bombard your list twice a day with offerings that they are also getting from dozens of other sellers - just make it a point to understand that what is right for their business may result in utter failure for yours. Make your own path, follow it religiously, don't be swayed by false promises of instant riches and to thine ownself be true. Don't live your life according to the whims or dictates of others (including myself. I'm just one good head bump away from being classified as a potted plant). Most people crave having their own thoughts on any given subject validated, even when predicated on misconceptions.

I'm highlight these two points, although there are others, because as a well-respected member of the forum posted, today - "there is no 'one right way' to market your business. That is such a simple truth, yet people will refuse to accept it and are determined to get others to believe that there is only one way and that one way is 'their way' and if you will only follow their lead you will reap huge profits and if you don't agree with them, you are destined for failure. And folks think me arrogant. lol

OK. At this point I'm rambling, as this diatribe started being about my past inability to actually retire from the workaday existence that has become ingrained in my daily life. I'm looking for permanent distractions to actually achieve my goal of stepping away from the computer.

In May I had two stents put in at Deborah Heart and Lung Hospital, as I was walking around with an 80% and a 100% blockage. I already have a pacemaker/defibrillator implanted for congestive heart failure brought on by Agent Orange (Dioxin) poisoning from my service in Vietnam, so this was simply icing on the medical cake. Since then I have lost 35 pounds and I am making an extremely concerted effort to reclaim my physical health. (I'm afraid there's no hope for my mental health). So, I'm going to join a gym with a heated pool, tomorrow and plan to lose 20 more pounds by year's end, and then another 20 by the first day of spring. Can I do this? Certainly. I have lost over 100 pounds twice in my life and although you would think that is something to be proud of, nothing could be farther from the truth. If you lose 114 pounds, once, that is something to be very proud of. If you have had to do it a second time, that is something you should only be ashamed of. Having to lose close to that for the third time is going to be a major challenge, but it is a goal I will achieve. I am committed to this because the doctor who operated on me told me the following; "Almost always, when someone arrives here in your condition, they are being wheeled in on a gurney with an EMT straddling their chest delivering heart compressions. All that's left to do at that point is for me to walk over and declare them DOA." I drove myself to the hospital, and as I watched them install the stents on the operating room monitor, the doctor informed me that it was evident by the number of new blood vessels that were being generated to bypass the blockages, that I had been walking around that way for at least two months, possibly three. Yes, I did feel as if I was going to die at any minute before deciding to drive to the hospital. I chalked it up to being old and fat, as well as sitting at my computer for 8 to 10 hours per day (I do love it, so). I am not a religious person and am sure that many of you who are think it it is probably time for me to rethink my beliefs, or lack thereof. That won't be happening, but apparently the universe is indicating that I have more to offer. :-)

I'm looking for other things to do. I do have an Internet radio station that I have done for the past 10 years. I want to go back to doing a live show a few hours per day, but that is just more sitting. Not sure if having your favorite DJ broadcasting while walking on a treadmill will go over well. I do believe that the personal enjoyment will offset the additional sedentary problem. Somethings you have to do, just because you enjoy them.

I covered a lot of ground, here - in what many may consider nothing more than manure, but my heart was in the right place. lol If even one sentence has a positive effect on your life, it will have been worth the personal investment of my limited and to me, precious time.

I'm off to begin the journey of the final chapter of my life. I'm going to approach it with an open mind, an open heart and with absolutely zero expectations. I hope I can step back from the computer and learn a new way of living. The first thing I am going to do when my eye open in the morning is tell myself, out loud, that I am officially retired and it's going to be the last thing I do at night. I have had an intense relationship with my computer life since 1984 when I discovered that a machine could truly be an extension of your personality, creativity and dreams. I'm not looking for a divorce. Something more along the lines of an amicable trial-separation. We'll see how that plays-out.

Thank you.
#retirement #ugly
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  • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
    As one Frank to another, I wish you a very long and happy retirement. I hope you can look forward to enjoying many more years of creating for pleasue, leisurely strolls in the fresh air (treadmills are for hamsters) and carefree, wind-in-the hair motoring.

    Let us know if you get that radio station project up and running, but in any event, please keep up your presence here, if you can. We can't let the whippersnappers run wild.

    All the best.
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

      As one Frank to another, I wish you a very long and happy retirement. I hope you can look forward to enjoying many more years of creating for pleasure, leisurely strolls in the fresh air (treadmills are for hamsters) and carefree, wind-in-the hair motoring.
      Thank you, Frank. I have taken some time away to evaluate which direction I should head in, going forward. Have not arrived at any definite conclusions, but having the luxury of not actually having to do so is quite liberating in its own right.

      Let us know if you get that radio station project up and running,
      I spent the past week upgrading all of my hardware and tweaking the station. I currently have it running 24/7 playing the greatest Classic Rock playlist known to man - at least that's what my loyal listeners tell me, while I determine if and when I want to do a live show featuring a character I have played on the air, off and on, for the past 10 years or so. He's called the Answer Man of Life and although he thinks he has the answer to all of the world's most vexing problems, in reality he can hardly remember how to swallow his own food. Kinda like me in real life, which I guess is why playing him comes so natural to me. lol

      While I won't mention the station, for fear of being charged with self-promotion, here is a video I had made this week to promote the show, should I decide to go back to it. This is a rap video version (a music genre that I loathe - BTW). I am having audio promos done in Country and Western style, Mormon Tabernacle Choir style, just had one done in Tom Petty style and am currently working on a Barber Shop Quartet style one. There are others, too. It's all in good fun and keeps the creative juices flowing.

      Hopefully, since I'm not selling anything or providing any links, this will pass muster and not get deleted. I will PM you at some point in the future with details so you can give me some feedback on the station and hopefully, the show. Your input would be most appreciated.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mmn3...ature=youtu.be

      but in any event, please keep up your presence here, if you can. We can't let the whippersnappers run wild.
      The Answer Man is never far away, but I am retiring my ruler and my knuckle-busting days are hopefully over, for good.

      All the best.
      Thank you, sir. Very much appreciated.
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Hi OI,

    "I'm off to begin the journey of the final chapter of my life. I'm going to approach it with an open mind, an open heart and with absolutely zero expectations. "

    That's it. You keep this energy, you will be A-OK.

    I have enjoyed meditation, and recently, yoga, as wonderful habits for opening my mind, my heart and having almost no expectations out of anything in life.

    This could help you detach heavily from the computer and seeing more, doing more, being more and heck, just being present for the fabulous life retirement has in store for you.

    I love blogging. In my blood. But I also know when we visit Thailand in February and I get back on the international road again, I will be spending a ton more time offline, enjoying both my cyber time and my Thailand time.

    Thanks for sharing with us.

    Ryan
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      [quote=ryanbiddulph;11227419]Hi OI,

      "I'm off to begin the journey of the final chapter of my life. I'm going to approach it with an open mind, an open heart and with absolutely zero expectations. "

      That's it. You keep this energy, you will be A-OK.

      I have enjoyed meditation, and recently, yoga, as wonderful habits for opening my mind, my heart and having almost no expectations out of anything in life.

      This could help you detach heavily from the computer and seeing more, doing more, being more and heck, just being present for the fabulous life retirement has in store for you.
      Well, I do appreciate your sentiments, but neither meditation, nor yoga, have any place in my life. Although I'm a product of the 60's, my 'hippie' days are an all but forgotten memory. The only thing I would consider meditating on is linguini with white clam sauce, and honestly, I wouldn't do yoga using someone else's body.

      Thank you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Marcus W K Wong
    This is great BF / OI.

    Many well wishes to your retirement and fantastic to hear the journey you've had in the bleakest of hours.

    Losing 100+ pounds once: achievement.
    Losing 100+ pounds twice: double achievement.
    Losing another 75 pounds on a third adventure: write a damn book!

    You raise some critically important points for anyone operating a business. Not just an online business, but a business in the global sense.

    Your statements about SEO particularly resonate well with me. SEO is great, but it's not be all and end all. SEO won't convert a sale, it's just there to get you traffic (which has other benefits). But the real intent is in the charm and relationship you have with your clients. That's where the foundations for sales and ongoing rapport leads to referrals, and traffic with a well versed notion of having 'buyer intent'. It doesn't matter if you're selling a product, or providing a service. 100% you're right.

    Regardless, kudos to you mate - I'm certain there's something all members can look up to you for.
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by Marcus W K Wong View Post

      This is great BF / OI.
      Time will tell. Who is this 'BF' of whom you speak? :-)

      Many well wishes to your retirement and fantastic to hear the journey you've had in the bleakest of hours.

      Losing 100+ pounds once: achievement.
      Agreed.

      Losing 100+ pounds twice: double achievement.
      An achievement, yes, but needing to do so shows a profound weakness in character. There are few things in my life that I am more ashamed of and that's working off of a very long list.

      Losing another 75 pounds on a third adventure: write a damn book!
      Too lazy. lol

      You raise some critically important points for anyone operating a business. Not just an online business, but a business in the global sense.

      Your statements about SEO particularly resonate well with me. SEO is great, but it's not be all and end all. SEO won't convert a sale, it's just there to get you traffic (which has other benefits). But the real intent is in the charm and relationship you have with your clients. That's where the foundations for sales and ongoing rapport leads to referrals, and traffic with a well versed notion of having 'buyer intent'. It doesn't matter if you're selling a product, or providing a service. 100% you're right.

      Regardless, kudos to you mate - I'm certain there's something all members can look up to you for.
      Possibly. There's a first time for everything.

      Thank you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Singletary
    Marcus, I think BF would be a great WAMA. He's shared plenty of tidbits over the years and has tons of experience that may can help someone else if they listen.

    Mark
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by Mark Singletary View Post

      Marcus, I think BF would be a great WAMA. He's shared plenty of tidbits over the years and has tons of experience that may can help someone else if they listen.

      Mark
      Thanks, Mark. The problem with that is I have a lot of knowledge in very limited aspects of marketing and selling. Additionally, I wouldn't recommend that anyone attempt to adopt my techniques as they were developed for my unique style for survival and would only transfer well to those that are capable of being as confrontational as I am in the selling process. I have proven that the methods to my madness have worked well for me, but I would never encourage anyone else to emulate them.

      In life and in sales, you will gain the most success by determining your own strengths and weaknesses, and then maximizing your own abilities. I'm not saying that I have not learned from others along the way, but I have never adopted any of their techniques if they even made me remotely uncomfortable. Projecting an unwavering self-confidence, to me, is my most powerful weapon in sales and I can only exhibit that by being 100% true to myself. While that technique rankles many that I have approached over the years, those that get it have been my best clients. Most of them are a lot like me. lol

      Thank you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jessica Amboos
    You don't have to retire if you love what you're doing. A workaholic will die if he retires. My mom is one. She can't seem to NOT stop working. Everyday I find her always doing something in the garden or cleaning the house or going about her business when she's supposed to be relaxing and enjoying her retirement. Don't force yourself if you're not up to it. But always take into consideration your health as well. Know your limits and be careful not to overdo it.
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by Jessica Amboos View Post

      You don't have to retire if you love what you're doing.
      That's most certainly true. That's why I didn't actually retire on my birthday for the past four years, even though I told myself I was going to. While I may not have to retire, there's certainly nothing wrong with choosing to do so.

      A workaholic will die if he retires.
      I would never consider myself a workaholic. Additionally, we're all going to die from one thing or another and I see no reason to take pride in going face down on your keyboard. I'd rather die walking in the Jersey pine barrens or the beach in Cape May.

      My mom is one. She can't seem to NOT stop working. Everyday I find her always doing something in the garden or cleaning the house or going about her business when she's supposed to be relaxing and enjoying her retirement.
      Do you really consider, "doing something in the garden, cleaning the house and going about her business," work? That's just plain silly. Unless she's plowing the back 40, none of that is work. It's choosing to spend one's time in a way that they enjoy.

      Don't force yourself if you're not up to it. But always take into consideration your health as well. Know your limits and be careful not to overdo it.
      That ship has already sailed. lol

      Thank you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Steve B
    Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post

    I'm looking for permanent distractions to actually achieve my goal of stepping away from the computer.
    Just a suggestion: you might consider looking for ways of being of service to other people. Many retired people find great fulfillment and purpose in lifting others, volunteering, or rallying behind a worthy cause. Maybe getting away from "sitting at my computer for 8 to 10 hours per day" would be healthy for you. "I have had an intense relationship with my computer life since 1984." That's a long time! Maybe trading that relationship for one with people would allow you to "achieve my goal of stepping away from the computer."


    Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post

    . . . but apparently the universe is indicating that I have more to offer.
    I agree; you seem to be organized, intelligent, and a competent writer with loads of experience. Surely those abilities and others you have could be put to great use in assisting others in some meaningful way. Just a thought . . .

    You statement: [if] "even one sentence has a positive effect on your life, it will have been worth the personal investment . . ." You have a good heart and it's obvious you have much to contribute to society.

    The very best to you,

    Steve
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by Steve B View Post

      Just a suggestion: you might consider looking for ways of being of service to other people. Many retired people find great fulfillment and purpose in lifting others, volunteering, or rallying behind a worthy cause.
      There are folks more suited to those things, than myself. I'm simply not a people person. About a year ago, the last time I considered retirement, I managed to talk a local horse farm into leasing me 60 acres of land for $1 per year to start a 'no kill' animal sanctuary. The offer is still available to me, but it would be a massively huge undertaking and I just don't know if I'm up for that. I'm giving it serious consideration, though. I have as much love for animals as I do loathing for humans, so I know I have a lot to offer. lol

      Maybe getting away from "sitting at my computer for 8 to 10 hours per day" would be healthy for you. "I have had an intense relationship with my computer life since 1984." That's a long time! Maybe trading that relationship for one with people would allow you to "achieve my goal of stepping away from the computer."
      I have hardly touched my computer for the past 10 days and it was not the least bit difficult doing so. The time I did spend was devoted to unsubscribing from every marketing email that arrived at my inbox, cancelling PayPal subscriptions to things I will never need, again, as well as trashing folder upon folder of files which are now nothing more than ancient history. Additionally, I have been going from one end of my office to the other trashing everything that I could get my hands on, especially things that I always promised myself that I would, "Get around to, someday." OUTTAHERE!!! It's like a spiritual cleansing of sorts. :-)

      I agree; you seem to be organized, intelligent, and a competent writer with loads of experience.
      I'll cop to intelligent, but that was not my doing. That's just gene-power. That said, for a guy that quit school at 16 to join the military, possessing nothing more than a GED obtained while serving in Vietnam, I hold my own against all of my friends that have graduated from college and I probably possess more common sense than all of them combined. I wonder who helps some of my friends get dressed in the morning. Mental cripples. :-(

      Surely those abilities and others you have could be put to great use in assisting others in some meaningful way. Just a thought . . .
      Thought about it, laughed about it and then forgot about it. I've spent a lifetime helping others in one way or another. Hell, I even raised another man's child as if he were my own flesh and blood. No. I'm not interested in any of that. While I would never turn my back on someone in need, I have no desire to extend myself in this fashion.

      You statement: [if] "even one sentence has a positive effect on your life, it will have been worth the personal investment . . ." You have a good heart and it's obvious you have much to contribute to society.
      If you saw my chest x-ray you'd see a giant hole where my heart should be. lol

      The very best to you, Steve
      Thank you, Steve - and you keep up the good work. I've always been impressed by your willingness to reach out to assist others and look for every opportunity to provide valuable content to the forum, even when I thought that you were enabling others that were not worthy of your assistance. Personally, I believe that you need to be more discerning and selective. Sometimes, answering someones question is not helping them at all. It is just making them more dependent on others, when in reality, dedicating themselves to a little bit of research by utilizing the "search' function would have been better. Offering them that bit of advice may be more helpful to them and will allow you to devote more time and energy assisting others that have demonstrated that have at least done some basic research and are now looking for more detailed direction. Just a thought. :-)

      Thank you.
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  • Profile picture of the author umc
    Man, I LOVED reading this. I'm may be younger but can identify with a lot of what you said. Maybe you could take that knowledge and get out and mentor some people locally. I agree with the poster above in that a workaholic shouldn't just stop. Here's your chance to pivot and find other things in life to dedicate yourself to. That post was inspiring. I bet you could really inspire people if you wanted and leave an even more lasting legacy of little OI clones in the world.
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      [quote=umc;11228197]Man, I LOVED reading this./QUOTE]

      I'm glad. :-)

      I'm may be younger but can identify with a lot of what you said. Maybe you could take that knowledge and get out and mentor some people locally. I agree with the poster above in that a workaholic shouldn't just stop.
      Maybe I'm not fully clear on precisely what that word means, but it is not one that I would ever use to describe myself. I've always been comfortable when I'm not working, I just get bored easily and because of my health there are not many other things I can currently pursue, as I did in the past. I just can't sit on the dock with my feet up watching the clouds float by. I have lived directly on a lake for the past 20 years and have never - not, once - dropped a fishing line in the water.

      Here's your chance to pivot and find other things in life to dedicate yourself to.
      I agree, but it is of tantamount importance to find the absolute perfect diversion to dedicate myself to, if I'm going to do it. I don't have the luxury of time to begin something and then discover that my choice was not the right one.

      That post was inspiring. I bet you could really inspire people if you wanted and leave an even more lasting legacy of little OI clones in the world.
      lol. No - the last thing I am in need of is a legacy. If I have one already, it is the gratitude that is exhibited to this day by many of those that I taught to be world-class telemarketers. I guess in a way, they are clones in that they work using everything I taught them, in the precise manner that they were taught. Their continued success fills me with pride and a true sense of accomplishment. That's good enough for me.

      Thank you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Brent Stangel
    when she's supposed to be relaxing and enjoying her retirement.
    Also read as; boring as hell!

    I tried it shortly before joining this forum. The reason I joined is that I wanted to be involved in the life in some way. It wasn't long before I was completely immersed again. IM is my video game.

    I have a neighbor who "was" a farmer and is pushing 80. He sold the farm to his son years ago. He has the wherewithal to do pretty much anything he wants. Between May and December, he's on a tractor nearly every day. It's what he's done all his life and he loves it.

    "Retirement is deadly." ~ BigFrank

    I agree.

    Brent
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by Brent Stangel View Post

      Between May and December, he's on a tractor nearly every day. It's what he's done all his life and he loves it.
      There are few things in life that I have enjoyed more than the time I would spend on my tractor, maintaining my farm, which I miss a great deal. The only thing I miss more in my life was having 350 tanks at the farm, of some of the world's most rare tropical fish.

      My neighbors used to make fun of me because I would mow the field every three days, which was more than twice as much as needed.

      Thank you.

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  • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
    Greetings,

    Took a day off from the computer, yesterday. That went well. lol

    I will respond to all of your replies, which are most appreciated, one at a time.

    Thank you.
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  • Profile picture of the author TrafficFlow
    Sounds like you need a sport such as golf, bowling or pickelboard to keep u going once you retire. I'm looking forward to retiring in a few years and playing tennis 4 days a week and living totally stress free. I had heart surgery in 2015 and recovered fine But life is too short to work forever.
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by TrafficFlow View Post

      Sounds like you need a sport such as golf, bowling or pickelboard to keep u going once you retire.
      Golf is nothing but a good walk, ruined. I love bowling, but those days are over and I have never heard of something called, 'pickleboard,' in my entire life. There are only two sporting activities that I would ever consider. First would be broad jumping and the other, doing the breaststroke. (It's a joke, kids).

      I'm on my 3rd and last pacemaker/defibrillator and just had two stents put in. I also have congestive heart failure with an injection rate of 20%. Nothing would kill me faster than engaging in any sporting activity. What I do for exercise is watch Rose Garden press conferences and let my skin crawl.

      I'm looking forward to retiring in a few years and playing tennis 4 days a week and living totally stress free. I had heart surgery in 2015 and recovered fine But life is too short to work forever.
      Well, tennis in Boca raton ain't a bad way to go. I lived in Boca for many years. Ran membership development for the local Better Business Bureau, had a gig on WKQS- FM (Kiss) and appeared in many dinner theatre productions at the Royal Palm Dinner Theatre including playing Sidney the delicatessen owner in this production of "Catch Me If You Can." Jan McArt & The Royal Palm Dinner Theatre Photo Gallery | Florida Theater On Stage. Got my Actors Equity Association card while performing, there. I was also the founder and executive director of the Boca Raton Junior Theatre and appeared in many productions at FAU and was a guest producer there for a couple of years. "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown" and "Livin' de Life - Uncle Remus's Tales of the South" were the two shows I produced that garnered the greatest recognition. I also played, Brer Coon in the production and my now deceased best friend played Brer Rabbit.



      Christopher also played snoopy in my production of "Charlie Brown." I miss my friend so much. Many folks may remember him from having the RC airplane show and The Train Show on the old DIY Channel.



      Very few places I have lived that I ever enjoyed more than Boca.

      Thank you.
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  • Profile picture of the author bobmcalister
    teach cold calling
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by bobmcalister View Post

      teach cold calling
      Which part of 'wanting to retire' was lost on you? :-)

      Thank you.
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      "He not busy being born, is busy dying." - Bob Dylan • "I vibe with the light-dark point. Heavy." - Words that Bob Dylan wishes he had written.

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  • Profile picture of the author discrat
    Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post

    So, this past Thursday was my birthday and the day for the past 4 years that I promised myself that I would formally retire. I obviously wasn't ready in the years prior, as I somehow just kept working as if nothing had changed. I didn't have any financial need to keep working, nor a financial desire, as I have managed to acquire all of the material possessions anyone could want in life.

    No. I think it came down to having an extremely addictive personality and work just became the latest iteration of my mental modus operandi. I tried every distraction to wean myself off of working 7 days per week which I had been doing for the past 10 years, but absolutely nothing worked, not even for so long as a single day. The only thing that ever kept me away from my computer on any given day were hospital stints.

    I think it just came down to the fact that I love to create things, especially from a germ of an idea - usually something that others declare as impossible, not in relation to the feasibility of success or failure, but rather due to the complexity of the project and the amount of work that would need to be devoted to the project, especially since I prefer to do as much of it as possible. I rarely do things to 'make money' as that usually sucks the joy out of working on them. Sure, making money is always nice, but not a prerequisite to tackling something.

    I learned long ago that as soon as you assign tasks to others, you instantly become dependent on their competent and timely delivery for your own success or failure. Since they were never as personally invested in my projects as I was, the effort would usually be nothing more than perfunctory and wholly unsatisfying. I would usually spend an inordinate amount of time tweaking their efforts if not starting from scratch to achieve my stated goal. Simply put, a total waste of time and money. I haven't made that mistake in the past two years which honestly has slowed me down, but that is counter-balanced by being much happier with taking charge of things myself and making them happen - my way - right or wrong. When wrong, at least it only cost me time and not money to learn the error of my ways and if you want to say that 'time is money,' a belief that cause a high degree of vacillation on a daily basis in my mind, at least the time was spent learning something that would increase my earning potential, going forward - and not just for the current project, but for all future projects.

    This is not to say that I am a perfectionist. I learned decades ago - many decades ago, that there is no such thing as perfection and that we live in an imperfect world and everyone in it is flawed in one way or another, both as a person and in their work product. It's more about vision and self-confidence. I want things done the way I want them done, without compromise. My lack of self-confidence in relation to my technical abilities, has always been a bone of contention and created that universal conundrum of 'should I learn it,' or, 'should I farm it out?' As there are an infinite number of disciplines which one could master if they had all of the time in the world, in practice that doesn't seem a realistic pursuit.

    A few examples. I have never spent a minute of my life doing even the most basic SEO implementation. Angsting over SEO strategies is something I decided long ago that I would never devote a minute of my life to, nor would I ever pay anyone so much as one thin dime to do it for me. Almost 100% of my business is (or should I say, was) generated via telemarketing to local businesses and the growth of my business was enhanced through the power of learning how to ask for referrals and working them. I have never needed anyone to 'find me online." I find them. I have never stopped being amazed at the amount of stress that people create for themselves by the constant need to partake in what they believe to be, the latest and greatest advance in SEO, (this month). Am I saying that SEO is not a good thing. Of course not. What I'm saying is, it would never work for me as it's to cold and impersonal to entice me to immerse myself in it. We only have so much time on the planet and I'll be damned if I'm going to spend any of mine doing SEO, when I know I can pick up the phone and have a much better chance of getting work, because while SEO may help someone find your website, that's all it does. Period. My website does little to convey my warmth and charm (fake it 'til you make it). That's what the phone is for. I may look like Harvey Weinstein, but on the phone if you close your eyes you'll think you're talking to George Clooney. That's why I make every attempt to never actually meet any of my clients in person. Why ruin a beautiful illusion?

    Another example. 'Building a list.' I have never needed one, so I have never built one. Do I have a list? Of course. But it's totally comprised of people that are already my clients. lol There's not a single name on it that belongs to someone I have never worked for. Do I email them? Sure - once a month on average to make them aware of things I feel may be relevant to them running their business - but never as an attempt to sell them anything. Never! I would never think to mail them more than once a month unless there was timely, critical information which needed to be disseminated, immediately. Should they call after receiving my email for additional information, I still don't try to sell them anything. I answer their questions, or allay their fears and should they ask if there is something they should do or buy to deal with any issues, I always attempt to tell them they shouldn't unless there is potential for a problem going forward. The main reason I do that is so when I do tell them, "Yes, you need to 'invest' in this product or service," there is never any pushback at all. They say, "Please take care of it for me." Done! No one has ever unsubscribed from my list, nor complained about receiving email from me, including folks that I haven't done work for in a good while. Obviously they consider my mini-missives as important and worth a few minutes of their time to peruse.

    I make it a point to unsubscribe from any Internet marketer who mails me more than once a week, especially when their only goal is to try to sell me something. A totally worthless annoyance. I have lived without the crap they are hawking, just fine and I'll probably go to the grave having never missed it. So, if anyone ever tells you that building a list is the single most important thing you can do in business and that you can't survive without it and that you should bombard your list twice a day with offerings that they are also getting from dozens of other sellers - just make it a point to understand that what is right for their business may result in utter failure for yours. Make your own path, follow it religiously, don't be swayed by false promises of instant riches and to thine ownself be true. Don't live your life according to the whims or dictates of others (including myself. I'm just one good head bump away from being classified as a potted plant). Most people crave having their own thoughts on any given subject validated, even when predicated on misconceptions.

    I'm highlight these two points, although there are others, because as a well-respected member of the forum posted, today - "there is no 'one right way' to market your business. That is such a simple truth, yet people will refuse to accept it and are determined to get others to believe that there is only one way and that one way is 'their way' and if you will only follow their lead you will reap huge profits and if you don't agree with them, you are destined for failure. And folks think me arrogant. lol

    OK. At this point I'm rambling, as this diatribe started being about my past inability to actually retire from the workaday existence that has become ingrained in my daily life. I'm looking for permanent distractions to actually achieve my goal of stepping away from the computer.

    In May I had two stents put in at Deborah Heart and Lung Hospital, as I was walking around with an 80% and a 100% blockage. I already have a pacemaker/defibrillator implanted for congestive heart failure brought on by Agent Orange (Dioxin) poisoning from my service in Vietnam, so this was simply icing on the medical cake. Since then I have lost 35 pounds and I am making an extremely concerted effort to reclaim my physical health. (I'm afraid there's no hope for my mental health). So, I'm going to join a gym with a heated pool, tomorrow and plan to lose 20 more pounds by year's end, and then another 20 by the first day of spring. Can I do this? Certainly. I have lost over 100 pounds twice in my life and although you would think that is something to be proud of, nothing could be farther from the truth. If you lose 114 pounds, once, that is something to be very proud of. If you have had to do it a second time, that is something you should only be ashamed of. Having to lose close to that for the third time is going to be a major challenge, but it is a goal I will achieve. I am committed to this because the doctor who operated on me told me the following; "Almost always, when someone arrives here in your condition, they are being wheeled in on a gurney with an EMT straddling their chest delivering heart compressions. All that's left to do at that point is for me to walk over and declare them DOA." I drove myself to the hospital, and as I watched them install the stents on the operating room monitor, the doctor informed me that it was evident by the number of new blood vessels that were being generated to bypass the blockages, that I had been walking around that way for at least two months, possibly three. Yes, I did feel as if I was going to die at any minute before deciding to drive to the hospital. I chalked it up to being old and fat, as well as sitting at my computer for 8 to 10 hours per day (I do love it, so). I am not a religious person and am sure that many of you who are think it it is probably time for me to rethink my beliefs, or lack thereof. That won't be happening, but apparently the universe is indicating that I have more to offer. :-)

    I'm looking for other things to do. I do have an Internet radio station that I have done for the past 10 years. I want to go back to doing a live show a few hours per day, but that is just more sitting. Not sure if having your favorite DJ broadcasting while walking on a treadmill will go over well. I do believe that the personal enjoyment will offset the additional sedentary problem. Somethings you have to do, just because you enjoy them.

    I covered a lot of ground, here - in what many may consider nothing more than manure, but my heart was in the right place. lol If even one sentence has a positive effect on your life, it will have been worth the personal investment of my limited and to me, precious time.

    I'm off to begin the journey of the final chapter of my life. I'm going to approach it with an open mind, an open heart and with absolutely zero expectations. I hope I can step back from the computer and learn a new way of living. The first thing I am going to do when my eye open in the morning is tell myself, out loud, that I am officially retired and it's going to be the last thing I do at night. I have had an intense relationship with my computer life since 1984 when I discovered that a machine could truly be an extension of your personality, creativity and dreams. I'm not looking for a divorce. Something more along the lines of an amicable trial-separation. We'll see how that plays-out.


    Thank you.
    In all due respect Frank, you have some great points but I think the overall irony knows no bounds with your post.

    Here is my take : You have NOT said anything disrespectful towards me. I have absolutely no problems with you. Actually I enjoy your presence, I sincerely do ( on a one on one basis). I find you humorous and entertaining and even find your World views on Life, the Economy, Politics, and strong disdain towards the "new guy" very similar
    to my own.

    You probably will not like this but in all honestly some of the things you have said that I have witnessed first hand to others on this Forum and your complete and unacceptable vitriolic tone at times to other members as well as the overt personal attacks on "innocent people" here has been quite appalling. And that is putting it nicely

    It might sound like Iam trying to pick a fight or something. But truly Iam NOT !
    I just tell it like I see it.

    And the bullying factor you try to shrug off as "you being you" and everyone is supposed to just say hey "thats just Big Frank".....
    sorry , but it's just not a valid excuse. If everyone else was like that in this World we live in and we all thought we had a RIGHT to be like that...well we would have a really screwed up Society. ( just look at our 'Sociopath in Chief' as a prime example)

    It's complete selfishness and beyond self centered-ness (?) of which no doubt you will laugh and say "thank you that's just me"

    And that's fine. I get it. And its who you are and I get a kick out of it myself. I really do.

    But when you try to write a serious post like this after the previous narrative you have adopted well like I said the irony knows no bound. And some will question your sincerity. ( thats the result when you want to have it both ways i.e. a crude satirical personality and then all of the sudden sincere fuzzy warmy personality)

    And some people you have unjustly belittled with your "Frankness" will be only confused and frankly quite resentful. And look at it as just a self-serving rant. Which you will of course say "EXACTLY" lol

    But the sad thing about this all is I think the vast experience and information and the incredible potential you have to offer this Forum in some regards has been distorted and minimized by the tone of your messages

    You say "Open Heart". Well, I am all for that.To me having an open heart means being willing to listen to others and having enough of an open mind to look at past mistakes and take a mental inventory and say to yourself...
    " maybe there is a better way to handle things and maybe just maybe there is a better, more positive way to add to a Community like the Warrior Forum ;especially when I have so much to offer"
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by discrat View Post

      In all due respect Frank, you have some great points but I think the overall irony knows no bounds with your post.
      Oh, my. Here we go.

      Here is my take : You have NOT said anything disrespectful towards me. I have absolutely no problems with you. Actually I enjoy your presence, I sincerely do ( on a one on one basis). I find you humorous and entertaining and even find your World views on Life, the Economy, Politics, and strong disdain towards the "new guy" very similar
      to my own.
      This would have been the perfect place to end your post. lol

      You probably will not like this but in all honestly some of the things you have said that I have witnessed first hand to others on this Forum and your complete and unacceptable vitriolic tone at times to other members as well as the overt personal attacks on "innocent people" here has been quite appalling. And that is putting it nicely.
      No - that's putting it melodramatically and hyperbolically. lol

      It might sound like I am trying to pick a fight or something. But truly I am NOT !
      Never thought that for a minute.

      I just tell it like I see it.
      Precisely as I do. Why is that OK for you, but not for me? Is it because you use softer words, or are you somehow special?

      You are entitled to perceive things in any way you choose and I would never attempt to dissuade you from your conclusions, regardless of how much I may disagree with them. That's a fool's errand.

      And the bullying factor you try to shrug off as "you being you" and everyone is supposed to just say hey "thats just Big Frank"..... sorry , but it's just not a valid excuse.
      Well, it it is, "me being me." Do you think it's an act? To claim that what I say is not rooted in how I genuinely feel, based upon my core beliefs, would make me a fraud.

      If everyone else was like that in this World we live in and we all thought we had a RIGHT to be like that...well we would have a really screwed up Society. ( just look at our 'Sociopath in Chief' as a prime example)
      Uh, pay attention to the world around you. We all DO have a "RIGHT" to act however we choose and last I checked we do have a very screwed-up society.

      It's complete selfishness and beyond self centered-ness (?) of which no doubt you will laugh and say "thank you that's just me"
      No argument from me. I can be as selfish as I can be thoughtful and considerate. I actually do possess the full gamut of human emotions and character traits, and I utilize those depending on the situation at hand. I am very 'self-centered,' as I live my life on the basic precept that I am the center of my universe.

      And that's fine.
      Well, you can't say it's fine and complain about it, rather vociferously, in the same post. Pick a stance and stick with it.

      I get it. And its who you are and I get a kick out of it myself. I really do.
      And yet there is more complaining on the horizon. :-)

      But when you try to write a serious post like this
      Nothing about my post was preordained as "serious" by me, when writing it it. It was just what was on my mind, at the time. Part of the problem is that you read into things what you want to read into them and then after doing so you deem your perceptions as absolute truth, because you believe them. Is that not "selfish and self-centered?"

      after the previous narrative you have adopted well like I said the irony knows no bound. And some will question your sincerity. ( thats the result when you want to have it both ways i.e. a crude satirical personality and then all of the sudden sincere fuzzy warm personality)
      Again, you are intimating that my post was made in a concerted effort to polish my image an/or burnish any legacy of my post over the years, once I am gone forever. Let's be honest. If I cared about what anyone thought of me, I would have made an effort to be a phony and post in a manner that may have been more socially acceptable. That thought has never entered my mind, once, and I'm sure you would say that is quite obvious. Again, no disputing that from me.

      And some people you have unjustly belittled with your "Frankness" will be only confused and frankly quite resentful. And look at it as just a self-serving rant.
      They are entitled to their opinion, but I doubt that they feel that you need to shape their opinion for them. Rant? Really?? lol

      Which you will of course say "EXACTLY" lol
      No - there you go again, telling me what I think, feel, believe and what I would say. You talk about, "Irony." What I would say is, "If that's what you believe, I can live with that. No problem, at all."

      But the sad thing about this all is I think the vast experience and information and the incredible potential you have to offer this Forum in some regards has been distorted and minimized by the tone of your messages.
      I am sorry that I have not conducted myself to your 'Seal of Approval.' It seems you have annointed yourself as the ruling arbiter of good taste and acceptable behavior. We have Mods for that.

      You say "Open Heart". Well, I am all for that.To me having an open heart means being willing to listen to others and having enough of an open mind to look at past mistakes and take a mental inventory and say to yourself...
      " maybe there is a better way to handle things and maybe just maybe there is a better, more positive way to add to a Community like the Warrior Forum ;especially when I have so much to offer"
      There is always the possibility that things could be communicated better, in someone else's eyes. I can't do anything about that. I'm as honest as I can be in both my message and the way it's delivered. The fact that you may not approve of my modus operandi is meaningless to me. I would never tell you how to conduct yourself, whether I agreed with your actions, or not. You're a mature adult and as long as you are prepared to reap what you sow, I couldn't care less what you sow. I'm live my life by that and have always maintained that if I am going to dish it out, I need to be willing to take it. I am. :-)

      Thank you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    There was no 'due respect' in your comments. I don't often disagree with your posts but when someone writes a serious post that is a personal journey - why would you decide it's necessary to post a critique of the post and the person...in his thread?

    selfishness and beyond self centerness
    ...and this wasn't? You are better than this.
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    • Profile picture of the author discrat
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      There was no 'due respect' in your comments. I don't often disagree with your posts but when someone writes a serious post that is a personal journey - why would you decide it's necessary to post a critique of the post and the person...in his thread?


      ...and this wasn't? You are better than this.
      Sorry Kay,
      I totally disagree with you and it's unfortunate that we do not see eye to eye.

      Actually considering what has happened I could say the exact same thing that "you are better than that". As you have been a stickler for following correct protocol ( and following the Rules) in our Forum and you have been a true asset to this Community. But oddly enough in this circumstance you are now giving a 'free pass' to a member who has NOT only been permanently BANNED for reasons I have discussed but essentially he is breaking the rules again by re registering under another Username and on top of all this he is "spitting" in the Admin face in a resounding fashion on an open stage by starting this self journey Thread without any kind of remorse whatsoever for past transgressions . It's just one big joke to him. And yet everyone is just shouting out "yeehaw" and giving him a high five and a resounding applause ..and then we wonder why this Forum has suffered in the past few years and why the air of "professionalism" has seemed to decline in our Community.

      And yet shenanigans like this occur with highly reputable, long time upstanding Members wholeheartedly
      embracing it !!


      You know honestly I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and always try to be fair. Not just here but in Life in general. I ain't perfect myself by any stretch and have screwed up so many times it's not funny, but I do strive to improve myself and be open minded .And I do let things slide and try NOT to ruffle feathers as much as possible.

      I really do.

      But the fact is there is no tolerance in this Forum (or any other business community for that matter) for personal assaults on 'benign 'members as well as very harsh vitriolic sexist remarks towards 'innocent' Members of the opposite sex ( which in some of these instances would result in termination at an Employer and possible lawsuit for harassment of a sexist nature. ) BF knows exactly what Iam talking about .

      And I just find it deeply ironic that someone would post a personal journey with a seemingly half way 'endearing' tone to a Community that he has shown little respect towards a number of its Members with behavior that has been absolutely inappropriate; and which he admittedly is NOT regretful for in any way, shape, or form.

      But yet we are supposed to stand up and go "great job and a big pat on the shoulder for you and your endearing and informative personal journey post.. but as far as your overt, unapologetic bullying ways ?? Oh well ,we will just let that slide and let the people who are the ones actually being bullied fool with that ! "

      That's just flat out twisted, imo ! Sorry it is. And most people deep down if they were honest would say the same thing.

      I do let things go and I actually enjoy BF and his presence. But when someone steps out of bounds (without apology ) towards other people who undeservedly are mistreated ..and then writes a post like this...well, I can only bite my tongue for so long. Sorry, but I have to speak out and say something .

      Surely Kay you know that about me by now after 9 years or so..

      I just call it like I see it.

      And for sure Kay, if in his personal journey he was honest and even exhibited a smidgen of remorse in talking about some of the overt bullying he has committed towards some of our other members here, I would be the first to stand up and give him a genuine ovation. Absolutely !!

      But all I see in his Post is about himself. Like I said this is not personal between BF and I (Heck, I could see myself eating one of his specialty hoagies with a beer or two and laughing it up with him or maybe crying with him about the state of our Union) but there are many other Members here that would see this somewhat charming ,engaging, and almost humble like post he made above and look at it as self serving and somewhat hypocritical considering how he has treated them or shall I say mistreated them over the years without a grain of remorse or any humility extended to them.
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      • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
        Originally Posted by discrat View Post

        Sorry Kay, I totally disagree with you and it's unfortunate that we do not see eye to eye.
        Translation: You need to see things my way. lol

        Actually considering what has happened I could say the exact same thing that "you are better than that". As you have been a stickler for following correct protocol ( and following the Rules) in our Forum and you have been a true asset to this Community. But oddly enough in this circumstance you are now giving a 'free pass' to a member who has NOT only been permanently BANNED for reasons I have discussed but essentially he is breaking the rules again by re registering under another Username and on top of all this he is "spitting" in the Admin face in a resounding fashion on an open stage by starting this self journey Thread without any kind of remorse whatsoever for past transgressions . It's just one big joke to him. And yet everyone is just shouting out "yeehaw" and giving him a high five and a resounding applause ..and then we wonder why this Forum has suffered in the past few years and why the air of "professionalism" has seemed to decline in our Community.
        Wow. that was a whole lot of bloviating. Yes, I have broken the rules by using a new username. That said, who, including the Mods, who refer to OptedIn as BF, with a wink emoticon, including the person that permanently banned me, has been fooled for a single minute. No one was more surprised than me that I wasn't instantly banned, once the jig was up, but I could only attribute the fact that I wasn't was either:

        1. I was being given a second chance, or

        2. The possibility that upon reflection my ban may have been perceived as a bit hasty and my infraction didn't actually warrant a total ban. I'm sure that even the Mods know that they are not infallible and are capable of bringing down the hammer in a fit of pique or just being in a foul mood at the moment of decision, having nothing to actually do with me.

        Either way, I was grateful and saw no reason to push the point. If the Mods are comfortable with my being here, of what concern is it of yours?

        And yet shenanigans like this occur with highly reputable, long time upstanding Members wholeheartedly embracing it!!
        Yes, their sin, just like mine is them conducting themselves in a manner that you simply don't agree with. Obviously, you find it very disturbing that the world doesn't run by your ideals. I have suffered from that for a very long time and fully understand how frustrating that can be.

        You know honestly I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and always try to be fair. Not just here but in Life in general. I ain't perfect myself by any stretch and have screwed up so many times it's not funny, but I do strive to improve myself and be open minded .And I do let things slide and try NOT to ruffle feathers as much as possible. I really do.
        So you say, although your missive totally belies that statement. I read your words, but don't find that your actions actually match them. Possibly one of those, "Screw-ups" you say you are capable of. :-)

        But the fact is there is no tolerance in this Forum (or any other business community for that matter) for personal assaults on 'benign 'members as well as very harsh vitriolic sexist remarks towards 'innocent' Members of the opposite sex ( which in some of these instances would result in termination at an Employer and possible lawsuit for harassment of a sexist nature. ) BF knows exactly what I am talking about.
        I know precisely what you are talking about and think that this, out of everything you have stated may be the most ludicrous. My comment to that woman was not sexist, as the same exact words could have been said to a male with the same identical meaning. There was nothing gender specific in my comment. Additionally, if what I said was bad, why was I not banned for making it? I'll tell you why. Because your view was not shared and your outrage was feigned, affording you an opportunity to go off the deep end and attack me. As I recall, she didn't report my post, but I could be wrong. But, I doubt that she did because had she done so and objected to it in the forceful way that you have, I am sure I would have been banned. Think about it. Just possibly your delicate sensibilities were damaged, but that just may be the extent of it. Or, perhaps you are intimating that the Mods are overlooking sexist behavior?

        And I just find it deeply ironic that someone would post a personal journey with a seemingly half way 'endearing' tone to a Community that he has shown little respect towards a number of its Members with behavior that has been absolutely inappropriate; and which he admittedly is NOT regretful for in any way, shape, or form.
        True. I don't regret a solitary instance. I think long and hard before I post anything and the tone in which I will post it. I'm as honest as I can be, which, again, seems to annoy you to no end.

        But yet we are supposed to stand up and go "great job and a big pat on the shoulder for you and your endearing and informative personal journey post.. but as far as your overt, unapologetic bullying ways ?? Oh well ,we will just let that slide and let the people who are the ones actually being bullied fool with that ! "
        Your not supposed to do anything, but please don't speak for the Forum. Where are these people that have been bullied? Are they incapable of stating their own case against me or do you feel that they fear me? Get serious. I'm a ball buster, but I don't look for opportunities to pound someone into submission. They arise organically and most people can handle it and if they would be 100% truthful, would say it's not as bad as you make it out to be and that possibly, just possibly, they understand why I made any post you may find questionable. Who has been truly hurt by anything I have said? If anything I have said has caused them serious distress, they need to butch up or they will never make it through life. They're going to encounter things much more damaging than my barbs as they go through life. Of this, they can be assured.

        That's just flat out twisted, imo ! Sorry it is. And most people deep down if they were honest would say the same thing.
        Well, they are free to agree/comment/complain. I doubt there is a line forming. It's becoming more apparent with each paragraph you write that this is much more about you, than it is about me. The bottom line is that you expect people to live by your rules for social intercourse. That's an unrealistic expectation and many people would say that you are bullying me in an effort to change my ways to those that you could approve, but I would not be one of them.

        I do let things go and I actually enjoy BF and his presence.
        Obviously! lol

        But when someone steps out of bounds
        Which you have drawn.

        (without apology)
        None owed.

        towards other people who undeservedly are mistreated.
        Are you referring to those that because I don't believe in ghost, poltergeists, life on Mars, contraptions capable of endless energy, infallible Lotto abilities and on and on and on, feel it is OK to slam me as in uniformed moron for not sharing their views, because if you are I plead guilty as charged.

        Or, if you are referring to our self-ordained, spiritual advisors that pepper the Forum with their frivolous claims (utter tripe) that if you just believe in yourself, above all else, that ultimately you will be rewarded with incredible wealth. Nothing else matters. Just believe. Yeah - I will slam them all day and night, without any regret whatsoever. If you choose to enable them, then it is you, not me that is having a deleterious on the reputation of this Forum and it's overall credibility.

        and then writes a post like this...well, I can only bite my tongue for so long. Sorry, but I have to speak out and say something.
        Of course you do, whether your observations are well-founded, rational and honest - or not.

        I just call it like I see it.
        Permissible for you, but it makes me a cretin. :-)

        And for sure Kay, if in his personal journey he was honest and even exhibited a smidgen of remorse in talking about some of the overt bullying he has committed towards some of our other members here, I would be the first to stand up and give him a genuine ovation. Absolutely !!
        No one is looking for your approval. No one care what you think, least of all me.

        But all I see in his Post is about himself. Like I said this is not personal between BF and I (Heck, I could see myself eating one of his specialty hoagies with a beer or two and laughing it up with him or maybe crying with him about the state of our Union) but there are many other Members here that would see this somewhat charming ,engaging, and almost humble like post he made above and look at it as self serving and somewhat hypocritical considering how he has treated them or shall I say mistreated them over the years without a grain of remorse or any humility extended to them.
        The post was just a post. There were no ulterior motives behind it in an effort to make myself look warm and fuzzy. I don't have a warm and fuzzy spot on my body or hidden in my personality. But I do know what and who I am and am quite comfortable with it.

        It is now time for all of those members that I have abused, bullied, hurt, disrespected or anything else that you have accused me of to step forward and press their case. Like I said, I can take it and I doubt that anyone will post anything that I feel I need to apologize for, whether you agree with that or not.

        You're as opinionated as I am, but you attempt to couch your actions in what you hope will be received as some noble defense of others. These are adults. The can fight their own battles. I have a feeling that many of them would be more offended by your patriarchal comments than by anything that I have ever said to them. I'm quite sure of it as I know I'd be offended if someone thought I needed someone else to defend me. That's just the height of arrogance.

        Thank you.
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      There was no 'due respect' in your comments. I don't often disagree with your posts but when someone writes a serious post that is a personal journey - why would you decide it's necessary to post a critique of the post and the person...in his thread?
      Thank you, Kay - especially in light of the fact that I am aware that I have never really been your 'cup of tea.' :-)
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Actually, you are my cuppa - you do your own thing with no apologies. The older the I get the more I do that myself.

    I think I told you once it wasn't necessary to be a curmudgeon all of the time...you've been nice to me ever since....pretty much.
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    Every child needs a pet because every family needs an optimist

    Saving one dog will not save the world....but will forever change the world for one dog.
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      Actually, you are my cuppa - you do your own thing with no apologies. The older the I get the more I do that myself.
      Well, of course you can only pull that off if you are blessed with infallibility. We all have our gifts.

      I think I told you once it wasn't necessary to be a curmudgeon all of the time...you've been nice to me ever since....pretty much.
      Really? A total oversight on my part. Keep that factoid to yourself, please.

      Thank you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    It might be infallibility in your case - for me it's 'donotgiveashititis'...gets worse the older I get.
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    Every child needs a pet because every family needs an optimist

    Saving one dog will not save the world....but will forever change the world for one dog.
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      It might be infallibility in your case - for me it's 'donotgiveashititis'...gets worse the older I get.
      Actually, if you think about it, it's getting better. lol
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  • Profile picture of the author Elizabethlim
    Hi, I really like your style as very different from other marketers. Most said email every other day to the list you have but I asked myself, do I get annoyed by receiving the same stuff too fast. Some put catchy heading like make $6333 for example in a week, etc. Sound mind will think how could this happen for new entrants? Many are really there to grab you to buy and never bother whether the products work for someone who really needs a solution.. Some sellers engage affiliates and write emails to get affiliates to send to their subscribers. Too aggressive till it becomes annoying and filtering is needed!
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    Money On Demand by Ewen Chia
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  • Profile picture of the author posinfo1
    I think that retirement is an interesting concept. If you are doing something that you enjoy and gives you fulfillment then is it work?

    Musicians only retire when they run out of music.
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by posinfo1 View Post

      I think that retirement is an interesting concept. If you are doing something that you enjoy and gives you fulfillment then is it work?
      Yes, unless it is something you would do all day, every day, without remuneration.

      Even musicians need to eat.
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