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Can anyone review my landing page and tell me what to improve?

by Devon Tank
20 replies
Hey everyone just joined the warrior forum, but recently I've been getting clicks to my landing page but I haven't been able to get any conversations. Id really appreciate it if anyone could tell me what I need to improve.
punishpounds.com
#improve #landing #page #review
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  • Profile picture of the author agmccall
    I would change just about everything.

    First, it is not a landing page, it is a multi page sales letter. I am not sure if you are the vendor or an affiliate. but if you are the affiliate you are losing right at the start.

    It takes four pages before you get to any call to action. The call to action should be front and center right away.

    Fix the navigation get rid of the "Next Page" links and put proper navigation. Use the content on those pages in conjunction with your follow up emails.

    The whole thing screams "I want to sell you something" in my opinion you will lose most of your visitors after the first "Next Page" and more and more after each one. Get them on your list as soon as you can

    al
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    • Profile picture of the author Devon Tank
      im sorry about that it was taking some time for my post to get approved so I change it to something else. I just put it back to what it was when I wrote the post. sorry about that.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    Not enough of a hook. Insufficient curiosity. I don't believe this report will help me solve my problem.

    The design is a bit amateurish...I'd invest in an affordable designer...I'll bet you can get a real improvement for less than fifty bucks. And it's a tax-deductible expense.

    Most of all, work on your headline.
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  • Profile picture of the author Devon Tank
    Thank you I'm going to pay a designer.
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    • Profile picture of the author TonyRoberts
      I'm glad you've decided to go down this route. I assure you it'll be worth spending the money.

      Good luck with it!
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  • Profile picture of the author Mabu Map
    The headline should be smaller

    "Free Report Reveals..." should be smaller, this is not important.

    What important is that what your audience will get. "THE TOP TEN FAT LOSS
    MYTHS" should be bigger. But unfortulately, THE TOP TEN FAT LOSS
    MYTHS is too general, you should go into a smaller niche, like lose weight with diet, lose belly fat

    Hope this helps!
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  • Profile picture of the author laila904
    Hi there!
    You got some constructive feedback already. I say that the page can appear more professional. It currently looks basic. Also, you might want to throw in words/ phrases to capture your target audience. Of course by laser targeting your audience it will be easier to know which words/ phrases will hook them right away.
    Wishing you and all the very best
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  • Profile picture of the author hardworker2013
    LOL smart way to advertise your website on here
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  • Profile picture of the author Unrivaled Review
    Hi Devon,

    I think you would benefit greatly from rearranging the page; specifically by drawing the readers eyes elsewhere.

    For example, the arrow is pointing to the scales, an insignificant image. Try pointing the arrow to the "enter email box" this is where you want the viewer to look and enter information.

    I'd also focus on the wording. There's not much of an incentive to sign up to your offer - try rewording to something like: "discover the top 10 ways why you cant lose weight". There needs to be a personal connection and incentive, something that captures interest and feels like its almost secret knowledge.

    Hope this helps Devon!
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  • Profile picture of the author Doan Chi Tin
    How about your conversion rates?

    I think your call to action is not quite good.

    My advice: Do NOT make it more complicated, try to be simple as hell
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  • Profile picture of the author Sharon Jones
    I don't think there's anything which would appeal a user to fill in the data. Sure there's an ebook but it is a cliched technique which doesn't really work. Instead of pointing out the common reason to buy your product you should add a little description of your product like what makes you stand out from the others, that could give you decent conversion.
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  • Profile picture of the author Devon Tank
    Thanks everyone, I truly appreciate it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Bryan Zazz
    Getting "professional help" - i.e. a designer - is great advice.

    An alternative to paying a designer: study pages that work, that you feel captivated by, that make you make to push the BUY button - and adapt what you've learned to your case.

    Study successful people you admire in the industry, imagine how could that be adapted to your case.

    I'm a big Kern fan myself, I always watch and study everything he's sending me with great interest.

    So study those you admire ... then apply to your particular case. It's only by applying and trying stuff out - and making mistakes as a learning tool - that you actually learn and improve
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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    Looks kinda lean for a fat loss offer.

    I wanna see sum BLOAT ... sum COPY CARBS ... I can really sink my teeth inta.

    Plus also, all this offers Moi is 10 REAL STOOPID THINGS I GOTTA QUIT which I MAY NOT ACTSHWLLY BE DOIN'.

    I got an ass packin' triple Kardashian excess for sum mystery 11th reason, your report don't help.

    Prolly sumone smart could rewrite this forya ... only bein' kinda skinno I don't do weight loss.
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  • Profile picture of the author Randall Magwood
    My thoughts:

    - The headline is weak
    - The bullet points copy are weak
    - The call to action is weak
    - The graphic image on the right is confusing (what is it?)
    - The page is too long just to capture an email address
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  • Profile picture of the author dragoshs
    Ummmm it says coming soon so... change that into a real landing page
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  • Profile picture of the author hadyn
    I personally like everything about it. I am building something similat for my business. How did you make yours, by the way? I am using the help of the guys from https://weblium.com They build a website for me which I will be able to edit myself then. I think it is a great service for such purposes
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    • Profile picture of the author Brent Stangel
      Originally Posted by hadyn View Post

      I personally like everything about it. I am building something similar for my business. How did you make yours, by the way?
      Really??

      What part of the Shopify "Sorry, this shop is currently unavailable." page do you like most?

      Brent
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      • Profile picture of the author DABK
        I am betting it's the font size: it's large enough to read without a magnifying glass.

        (Is it me, or the number of people who like things they haven't even looked at is on the rise?)

        Originally Posted by Brent Stangel View Post

        Really??

        What part of the Shopify "Sorry, this shop is currently unavailable." page do you like most?

        Brent
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  • Profile picture of the author PPG19
    ¨Sorry this page is currently unavailable¨
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