Please Review My Sales Page

by Bruha
10 replies
My friend and I have started an online fitness website called Cheeky Fitness, http://cheeky.fitness and we're hoping that we can get some critique of the sales page.

Also, we'd like to get affiliate marketers promoting our site and we're wondering which network to use and how to structure payment. One time payment vs ongoing.

Thanks in advance for any feedback.
#page #review #sales
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  • Profile picture of the author SiteNameSales
    The site 'looks' fine, but I don't see a compelling offer right up front. I don't see a common problem that you're able to solve. I don't see any particular reason to sign up with you rather than somebody with a similar product/opportunity.

    Just one man's opinion...
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  • Profile picture of the author GordonJ
    Originally Posted by Bruha View Post

    My friend and I have started an online fitness website called Cheeky Fitness, Cheeky Fitness - Home Fitness -- Cheeky Fitness and we're hoping that we can get some critique of the sales page.

    Also, we'd like to get affiliate marketers promoting our site and we're wondering which network to use and how to structure payment. One time payment vs ongoing.

    Thanks in advance for any feedback.
    Who is she? Why do we not know Judith Knapp? Why should we care?

    I agree with the first poster. There is no compelling reason, and no specific target addressed.

    Maybe start the video with a Hi, I'm JK a mother and etc.

    Seems to be targeted toward busy people (moms).

    I think you have a decent start, but give us reasons to care, reasons to stay and most importantly good reasons to spend money and time with you.

    GordonJ

    PS. Most importantly, if you want advice/help, where will your visitors come from? How will they find this site? THAT will determine the type of promotion and offer you want to have readily visible when they first get there.
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  • Profile picture of the author marciayudkin
    Why oh why should anyone sign up with you rather than work out on their own or us the money for a gym membership?

    Sit down and make a concise list of all the answers to that question, rank them in priority and then write the page all over again.

    The only thing that caught my eye on the page was this :
    Join us now and workout free for the next 7 days!

    But I can already work out free. So I would be better off not joining.

    You've got a very, very weak or nonexistent appeal at present.

    I'm sure you can do better!

    Marcia Yudkin
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  • I would sell the free optin first. If someone comes to your site, and leaves.... then more than likely they're gone forever. Plus you're selling a subscription which is tough. You gotta ease them in. Offer the free ebook, inject as much personality in your email marketing as you can, and market your services that way. As far as the sales copy goes.... what does "Cheeky Fitness" have to do with Pancakes and Peaches? Tie in your brand with a large headline that gets people interested. And create a tag line or slogan that makes "Cheeky Fitness" sound effective.

    Example:

    Company Name: Piranha Marketing

    Slogan: "Eat your competition alive".

    Created by super marketer Joe Polish.
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  • Profile picture of the author Brent Stangel
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    That's not a sales page.

    If that's the best you can do on your own, I suggest you seek professional help with sales copy and design.

    Brent
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    Get Off The Warrior Forum Now & Don't Come Back If You Want To Succeed!
    All The Real Marketers Are Gone. There's Nothing Left But Weak, Sniveling Wanna-Bees!
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  • Profile picture of the author Bruha
    Thank you all for the very constructive feedback. Upon reviewing the page after reading all your comments, you're all right. There isn't anything there that tells me why I need to sign up or anything that tells me who Judi is.

    I really do appreciate the time you all have taken to point out what should have been obvious to me.
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  • Profile picture of the author Bruha
    Also, can anyone recommend a good sales copy writer?
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    -not a sales page
    -no clear understanding of "who this is for"
    -probably shouldn't begin main copy with "unfortunately"
    -first thing we see is something vague about "pancakes to peaches"...who is this relevant for? I would have closed the tab right there.

    The page got a little better as it went on, maybe because a clear offer was finally presented--but I doubt most readers would get that far as it is.

    Figure out your ideal customer avatar, write copy that speaks to them, worry less about you and more about them. Begin with a compelling headline.
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  • Profile picture of the author iamludwing
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    you will need to changes some things on the website in order to get sales I think you are just editing some template
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  • Profile picture of the author DWaters
    My first impression is that you should proof read the text and remove the numerous typos and grammatical errors.

    Also the first thing you see does not say "fitness" as you have to go below the fold to see any fitness related pictures. This page does not catch my eye.
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