Landing Page Opinion/Constructive Criticisms

That would be the first question.
Which FB groups are seeing the ad?

Then, I watched 20 seconds of the video until that stupid music drove me to flee, couldn't close it fast enough. Maybe split test this one against a spoken word version. I don't (and I think it is pretty normal) don't want to READ a video, sort of defeats the purpose, doesn't it?

Better to ask if You have products or services over 1k and do not offer financing, then you are leaving X% on the table* *backed with a citation which verifies this.

Even though your video is short and sweet, which is the good news, I think if you are targeting businesses which do not finance, you might want to rethink the thing.

But let testing and results be your guide.

How targeted are the FB ads, the people visiting ARE qualified, yes? Then it must be something about the presentation which is turning them away, HOW long do they stay?

GordonJ

PS. I think your premise is wrong. You say most people don't have the money, simply NOT true. Even those who do will often finance for other benefits, maybe to save cash outlay now, or it benefits them to do so. FACT is, CREDIT for goods people can't afford, is an entire industry, the rent to own. And it is HUGE bizx.

Try reworking your bullet points and put on a good headline to recapture their attention.

ALSO, why does your sig file take us to a cruise for 2014??????? Miffed me.

That's the million dollar question. I think the ad is pretty pointed so my assumption is that there is at least curiosity. And the ad is consistent with the message they are seeing on the other end. I'll need to test didn't variations of the landing page to find the hook they are looking for. I honestly don't think it's the video, but I could try removing it and replace it with an image. Maybe it's a distraction. Split testing is a good idea.

Unlike GordonJ, I didn't really get turned off by the music, seemed okay to me. Unfortunately, the video itself is extremely boring and slow-going. You really need some sort of commentary in there, if for whatever reason you can't do it yourself, there are a lot of people on Fiverr who do this kind of work and do it pretty well.

Well bobsedge,

GordonJ made a couple good points.

I'll try to add a couple more...

Without seeing your ad, and more importantly, without knowing who your exact target market is, (and how you researched your market, and exactly how you're targeting them) It's nearly impossible to determine where the disconnect is happening.


I'll assume you're targeting businesses that sell big ticket products, or services? Where their customers may need to get financing for the purchase?

So with that assumption, there's a couple things that hit me right away, when I landed on your page.

I tried to look at your page as a business owner. (even though I've never done financing in any of my businesses... someday I might consider it) So with that in mind...


For starters, the page doesn't look like it was professionally created by a company in the financial industry. Go take a look at some of the other banking sites, and/or lending sites on the web, and you'll see what I mean.

I realize you're not personally a corporate entity, but we should still try to look the part of a trusted financial institution. Especially when you're dealing with 5 figure loans.

Also, the sales copy (in the video, and the written words) was a bit uninspiring.


Right now your page is not answering my 4 main (basic) questions...

1. Exactly who are you? (I've never heard of Flexxbuy, and I don't know who "you" are. So who are you, other than just some random guy with a website?)

2. Exactly what are you going to do for me? (Other than vaguely offering some sort of financing for my customers, the offer is not very compelling, or even "clearly" defined)

3. Assuming I want this type of service...Why should I do business with you, as opposed to someone else? (like my bank that I already have a relationship with)

4. How do I know I can trust you? (If you screw one of my customers on a $50,000 loan, it reflects poorly upon my reputation)


These are just the "basic" questions that need to be answered (we're not even getting into the more intricate stuff, yet)

Also, the attempt at "proof" elements, are not very convincing. I see 5 (implied) sets of results listed, but how do I know you didn't just make them up? (it kinda looks like they're just made up)


Trust is critical for your type of business. Most people are naturally skeptical these days (especially with unknown websites) And their guard is already up, before they even land on your page.

We need to reduce the friction leading to the sale. So your job is to alleviate that skepticism, and let them know they can trust you to solve their problems, and/or improve their lives.


Honestly Bob, assuming you're marketing to businesses that are selling fairly big ticket products, or services.

My best suggestion for you would be to class up the website, and read a couple good, classic books on persuasive copywriting (think "David Ogilvy, Robert Collier, Joe Sugarman" to start)


Now, you can take my advice... or not (the choice is entirely yours) But I believe if you at least consider what I'm saying, You'll be able to improve your conversion rates quite a bit.

Best of luck to you.

Have you tired facebook ad automation. I was on the same boat as you about six monthgs back. Then I hired a few people for the digital marketing aspect of my company. They suggested that I use these techniques. While I wont say that I saw a huge change in the overall outcome but it is true that over a period of time I did see a positive change.

Any landing page in this market (money) has to
look 'glossy corporate' to re-assure people that
the company behind it is sound and already successful.

This landing page has grammatical and punctuation errors.

There is no headline/value proposition/tag line.
Too much wasted space above the fold.
Really don't think the video is effective either.
A handsome man in a suit doing a talking head would be miles better.

Good luck


No problem with your 'premise' but the page needs a better layout.

I think that even with highly targetted visitors this page will struggle
to convert well.

It can be more attractive. I'm not too knowledgeable about the niche, but the terminology sounds like industry jargon. I guess make it sound simple to the average guy on the street. What benefit does it bring to your targeted prospect?

My most honest opinion; the landing page does not look very professional.

The big chunks of text are not pleasant to the eye right away plus the separation between lines is too small - and the contrast of colors could be a lot better. Also, the copy-write is not the best. There is a lot of room for improvement here.

The chatbox is a big no. It is a distraction to your visitor. You need to give them only one action to make - not two. This is basic human psychology, you want people to focus on what you want them to do. Right now you telling people to either opt-in or chat - doing this will lower your conversions.

I would highly suggest you invest in a funnel builder like clickfunnels from Russell Brunson. This tool and service will help you build high-converting funnels. Id highly recommend it! Seriously!