Watch over my shoulder as I make zero $$$'s today

71 replies
I wanted to share with you some of the secrets of making ZERO income online.

Firstly, you have to make sure you remain unfocused.

Surprisingly, this isn't that hard to do.

Just remember to have no plan and no direction to go in.

A good tip is to visit this forum a lot and just read and read and read.

This can really help you to get unfocused and think of all sorts of things.

Here's a quick step by step approach to really making ZERO. It actually takes quite a lot of effort to make nothing at all, but a lot of people are very good at it.

Step 1

As soon as you wake up, check your emails.

Step 2

Don't do any exercise and definitely don't eat a healthy breakfast.

Step 3

Vaguely think of all the many different ways to earn money that you read about the day before.

Step 4

Don't write down any ideas at all. Start to do this and you will soon start getting focussed, which is a slippery slope to success. Be careful. Make sure you don't start the ball rolling.

Step 5

Think about all the things you haven't done that really make you feel guilty and make sure you never allow yourself to let go of them.

Step 6

Surf over to your favourite news site, such as the BBC, CNN, FOX etc and see just how bad the world is.

Step 7

Don't go for a nice walk outside in case you start thinking that the world isn't really that bad afterall.

Step 8

Start thinking about all the regulations and rules that you could get yourself into trouble with. This is a good tip on making sure you don't do something. Amazingly good in fact.

Step 9

Get out that notepad and pen and look at it. Then check your emails again and look at the videos that were sent to you.

Step 10

By the way, did you check the sports results for last night? If not make this a priority.

Step 11

Are you taking in enough liquids? Make sure you brew yourself some coffee or have a cup of tea.

Step 12

That reminds me. Make sure you look in your spam folders just in case there is some important email in there.

Step 13

(Thud on the doormat...) Better check the newly arrived mail as that course you are expecting may have arrived.

Step 14

It's not here yet, otherwise you could delve into it. Fear not, there is lots of stuff you can get on with.

Step 15

Better finish off listening to the mp3 recording that you didn't finish yesterday. It's good to clear the decks.

Step 16

Perhaps you should see if there are any other juicy domain names available to add to your collection. You don't want to miss out on something good.

Step 17

Decide whether to buy the .net .org .info or use dashes, as the .com has gone.

Step 18

You better look online to see what people think.

Step 19

Phew!!! Time for lunch. Back soon
#$$$ #make #shoulder #today #watch
  • Profile picture of the author Geode
    Are you my long lost twin?
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  • Profile picture of the author TLTheLiberator
    Folks have tons of reasons to not do what they're supposed to be doing to move their business forward.

    It all ends the same way.

    No major profits and it such a shame since we're at the beginning of a golden age for savvy online marketers.

    TL
    Signature

    "It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. -- Mark Twain

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  • Profile picture of the author Roger Smith
    I am guilty of only about half of the above steps, could that mean I have a slight chance of success.
    Signature

    Roger

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  • Profile picture of the author John Burton
    Haha - the perfect description of me when I first got into this game about 3/4 years ago.

    John Burton
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    My site - free guide for starting and running your own online business.

    Boost your sales page conversion rate instantly.
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  • Profile picture of the author Spiderpig
    You...Youve described my Internet marketing life in one post...amazing... Oh well better get back to my articles...but first theres this really funny you tube clip my friend told me about....
    Signature

    Dave

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  • Profile picture of the author Lisa Gergets
    So I see you were spying on me several months back...
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  • Profile picture of the author thebeacon
    LOL Awesome... As much as I would hate to admit but this is my routine most of the time.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
    Originally Posted by TelegramSam View Post

    I wanted to share with you some of the secrets of making ZERO income online.

    Firstly, you have to make sure you remain unfocused.

    Surprisingly, this isn't that hard to do.

    Just remember to have no plan and no direction to go in.

    A good tip is to visit this forum a lot and just read and read and read.

    This can really help you to get unfocused and think of all sorts of things.

    Here's a quick step by step approach to really making ZERO. It actually takes quite a lot of effort to make nothing at all, but a lot of people are very good at it.

    Step 1

    As soon as you wake up, check your emails.

    Step 2

    Don't do any exercise and definitely don't eat a healthy breakfast.

    Step 3

    Vaguely think of all the many different ways to earn money that you read about the day before.

    Step 4

    Don't write down any ideas at all. Start to do this and you will soon start getting focussed, which is a slippery slope to success. Be careful. Make sure you don't start the ball rolling.

    Step 5

    Think about all the things you haven't done that really make you feel guilty and make sure you never allow yourself to let go of them.

    Step 6

    Surf over to your favourite news site, such as the BBC, CNN, FOX etc and see just how bad the world is.

    Step 7

    Don't go for a nice walk outside in case you start thinking that the world isn't really that bad afterall.

    Step 8

    Start thinking about all the regulations and rules that you could get yourself into trouble with. This is a good tip on making sure you don't do something. Amazingly good in fact.

    Step 9

    Get out that notepad and pen and look at it. Then check your emails again and look at the videos that were sent to you.

    Step 10

    By the way, did you check the sports results for last night? If not make this a priority.

    Step 11

    Are you taking in enough liquids? Make sure you brew yourself some coffee or have a cup of tea.

    Step 12

    That reminds me. Make sure you look in your spam folders just in case there is some important email in there.

    Step 13

    (Thud on the doormat...) Better check the newly arrived mail as that course you are expecting may have arrived.

    Step 14

    It's not here yet, otherwise you could delve into it. Fear not, there is lots of stuff you can get on with.

    Step 15

    Better finish off listening to the mp3 recording that you didn't finish yesterday. It's good to clear the decks.

    Step 16

    Perhaps you should see if there are any other juicy domain names available to add to your collection. You don't want to miss out on something good.

    Step 17

    Decide whether to buy the .net .org .info or use dashes, as the .com has gone.

    Step 18

    You better look online to see what people think.

    Step 19

    Phew!!! Time for lunch. Back soon
    I think I can improve this method!

    For instance, somewhere around step 6 you will do even better if you turn the TV on in the background. This way if you pause at any time, you have something else to carry you away.

    And where are the optional cocktails in step 11? Why not add a little nip of baileys or kahula to that coffee? How about a hot B52?

    Recipe here:

    Coffee, Baileys, Kahula, and Grand Mariner - with optional whipped cream on top.

    Signature

    "May I have ten thousand marbles, please?"

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    • Profile picture of the author Lady_T
      This post is awesome and I'm
      copying it and printing it as
      a swift kick in the butt when
      I get sidetracked.

      I was such a victim of
      16 & 17 - crazy!!

      I was forever buying domain names
      with no real clue about using them.

      Glad I'm over THAT phase!
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  • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
    Pfft. Here's my recipe for no money.

    1. Get up.
    2. Grab bottle of rum and pour a drink.
    3. Drink same.
    4. Repeat steps 2 and 3.
    5. Repeat step 4.
    6. Log on to your Twitter account.
    7. Repeat step 5.
    8. The rest will take care of itself.
    Signature
    "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
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    • Profile picture of the author abo28
      Very funny post title and very useful post. My congratulations!
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  • Profile picture of the author thenextlevel
    Great Post. A real eye opener for me. It is so easy to become distracted with the millions of different ways to approach IM. Stick with one until success or failure
    Signature

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  • Profile picture of the author JoeJ
    I was going to check my emails again until I read this thread.

    I am going to try and go a whole hour before I check them :-)
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  • Profile picture of the author RobinSkeen
    Be sure to check the forums every few minutes just in case someone posts a new thread on the latest thing that will help you make as much as you did yesterday.

    Don't forget to play farmville on Facebook for a couple hours. Now go check your e-mail again.
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    take the place of dreams." -John Barrymore
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    • Profile picture of the author Emily Meeks
      Originally Posted by RobinSkeen View Post

      Don't forget to play farmville on Facebook for a couple hours. Now go check your e-mail again.
      That's what my boyfriend's brother does ALL the freaking time. (I'm sure I would too, so I'm trying to stay away... last time I blew off productivity for World of Warcraft, I missed out on a thread I was watching. I'm pretty sure I have the gist of it though.)

      I'm guilty of more of these things than I'd like to admit. Damn it >.< >
      Signature

      In all that you do, know your True INTENT...

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      • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
        Originally Posted by moneysoapbox View Post

        last time I blew off productivity for World of Warcraft
        I refuse to even try World of Warcraft. I'd never stop. It would become my life.
        Signature
        "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
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  • Profile picture of the author Oscar D
    That is interesting, how did you know my daily routine?
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    • Profile picture of the author Dave Kingston
      Sarcasm and irony in 1 post.

      Brilliant.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kevin Williams
    Some days I really could record myself working for hours though - actually working and writing articles - and make zero dollars. So ha!

    Good post though
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  • Profile picture of the author WikiWarrior
    Thank you so much for sharing your secrets. It's about time someone came forward with a step-by-step, no fluff guide on how to add a few zeroes to the bottom line. It's so easy as an internet marketer to get caught up in the hype of setting goals and taking action, when I could be watching all those Youtube 'related' videos and earn a passive income stream of zero, on autopilot. Don't put off for today what you can do tomorrow!
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  • Profile picture of the author Pat Blank
    Awesome guide.

    I'm still waiting for your instructions about what to do after lunch. I'm terrified I might accidentally make a little money then.
    Signature

    "The amateur works until he gets it right. The professional works until he cannot get it wrong." - Julie Andrews

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  • Profile picture of the author Zeus66
    Oh man! COME ON!!! Now EVERYONE will be doing it. Great. Just freaking GREAT.

    Seriously, dude. That was supposed to be OUR secret. I can't tell you anything.
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  • Profile picture of the author dv8
    19 steps, are you kidding me?!?! That's too much work.

    Isn't there a pill I could swallow that would help me make no money instead?
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!!!!!

    This was going to be my very first WSO.

    I will be contacting my lawyer to "have a chat" with you shortly. Just as soon as I check my email (again). And then see if I have any new followers on Twitter. then watch the dvd's I bought yesterday, And then stare at the wall for an hour or so, then make a cuppa, then play with the dog, then work out how I'm going to invest the damages I receive from you, then play Solitaire on the PC, then play Solitaire with real cards, then read the newspaper, then read a magazine, then read a book, then....

    My lawyer should be in touch with you sometime in 2015.
    Signature
    Arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon.
    It'll just knock over all the pieces, poop on the board, and strut about like it's won anyway.
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  • Profile picture of the author TheGodfather
    *rolling up my sleeves*

    Now it's time to show you how to make zero dollars (I hold the world record in laziness):

    1. wake up at noon (or any hour after that)

    2. Check your email that was sent to you during the few hours that you were asleep

    3. Log on to your Facebook account and play some Texas Hold'em

    4. Keep saying just one more game and then I'll go work on my site

    5. After you finally made your self to get of facebook you log on to your msn, yahoo instant mesenger, skype, gtalk and chat for another 3-4 hours...

    6. You open up market samurai, check your keyword and domain rankings

    7. You then go back to Facebook, play some mafia wars and chat on one of the above instant messaging services

    8. You have a lunch-dinner meal, go watch the new series of the Simpsons, South Park, Family Guy and That 70's Show.

    9. Realize how late it is and go to sleep because tomorrow is a school day and you got to listen trough 8 hours of class...

    10. Repeat the process once you come home the next day at 4 pm
    Signature

    TheGodfather

    Perception is reality

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    • Profile picture of the author Liam Hamer
      This made me laugh out loud for real, and I just had to read it to my wife Whilst doing so, I realised that I still actually do quite a few of these things every day, even though my workrate and focus has increased massively in the last few weeks I'm pretty bad with step 17 lately :p Seriously though, this is a great post - eliminating as many of these things as possible gives us all a great chance of success each and every day
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  • Profile picture of the author Shana_Adam
    he he living the bling lifestyle takes effort and dedication!

    Sure you could muster up some effort to justify the opportunity cost of being on facebook - building business assets through being the first person to poke tweet or sashay over to the wine glass icon
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    • Profile picture of the author LynnM
      2 more steps: Think about listening to that "how to focus" mp3 then forget again. Play online bingo in the hope it will generate some income for the day.


      Lynn
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      • Profile picture of the author TheGodfather
        Originally Posted by LynnM View Post

        2 more steps: Think about listening to that "how to focus" mp3 then forget again. Play online bingo in the hope it will generate some income for the day.


        Lynn
        even better, listen to a 4 h seminar on organizing, make the whole plan and then go out instead for a few beers and get drunk
        Signature

        TheGodfather

        Perception is reality

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  • Profile picture of the author MaryT
    that's exactly what we used to do all the day long, when we worked in the post office
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  • Profile picture of the author AmyBrown
    Step 1a: Log on the the WF and post a question that you could have easily found an answer to if you had searched.

    Steps 2a - 19a: Return to the WF, read responses and argue with the answers because it's not what you want to hear or doesn't give you a chance to promote your current WSO.
    Signature
    "Test fast, fail fast, adjust fast."
    Tom Peters

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    • Profile picture of the author Liam Hamer
      Originally Posted by AmyBrown View Post

      Step 1a: Log on the the WF and post a question that you could have easily found an answer to if you had searched.

      Steps 2a - 19a: Return to the WF, read responses and argue with the answers because it's not what you want to hear or doesn't give you a chance to promote your current WSO.
      I've got to be honest and say this one annoys me a little, especially when it's newbies. I always try and search before I ask a question, so when I see the daily newbie threads like "how can I make money online?" and "Newbie here - what is the quickest way to make $5,000 this month?" getting 50+ replies it can be a little frustrating, especially when my question/thread drops like a stone I'm sure I'm not the only one that thinks this though. If every newbie spent just one hour searching and reading through threads, they'd have most of their questions answered This place is a treasure trove of great information.
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  • Profile picture of the author opportunites
    Very nice post!

    Very effective way to teach people... one more time thank you! You made a great j...
    Sorry guys I have to go to watch my special show in TV (LOL...)
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  • Profile picture of the author JD Nunes
    This list is highly amusing, yet sad in a way.
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  • Profile picture of the author la dominatrix
    have you any proof that this blueprint will work for me, these things can so easily be faked!
    La dominatrix
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  • Profile picture of the author KenS
    Ok, where'd you put the camera...<looks around>
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  • Profile picture of the author nettech
    Add Facebook in there and thats all pretty much me...lol
    Signature

    Thanks
    Zaheer

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  • Profile picture of the author nettech
    You should make this into a WSO! hehehehehe
    Signature

    Thanks
    Zaheer

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    • Profile picture of the author Kiwigal
      Originally Posted by nettech View Post

      You should make this into a WSO! hehehehehe
      Good idea and call it, "How To Not Make Money While You A Sleeping".
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    • Profile picture of the author LynnM
      Originally Posted by nettech View Post

      You should make this into a WSO! hehehehehe
      If you do a WSO and we inadvertently make money after purchasing it, can we get a refund?


      Lynn
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      • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
        I'm dropping out of this challenge today.

        I'm sorry, but making progress has finally become an addictive habit.

        I have a huge list of things to cover today and I'm doing them.

        Sorry my friends.
        Signature

        "May I have ten thousand marbles, please?"

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  • Profile picture of the author JBorhez
    Nice! I was just in the middle of trying to decide what to work on next:
    SEO on my website,
    SEO on my other website,
    SEO on the other website,
    AM for my one website,
    AM for my other website,
    AM for the other website,
    Facebook fan page,
    Chris Rempel ebook,
    that other eBook,
    30 Day Challenge,
    backlink submissions,
    Haagen-dazs Rocky Road-no wait, I already did do that.

    So I decided to check out WF and see what new idea I could add to the list of things to not do!

    LOL...thanks for the extremely appropriate reminder!
    Signature
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    • Profile picture of the author Sissy76
      How much would it cost to outsource all of this?
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    • Profile picture of the author Marcel Hartmann
      Originally Posted by Drew Castle View Post

      LMAO, hilarious. Sounds like 90% of people that get into IM and expect easy money.
      Had I not been lured in with hopes of easy money, I might've never entered the IM world. Now that I'm in, I'm glad I was sold emotionally and love the challenges.
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      • Profile picture of the author DrewG
        Originally Posted by Marcel Hartmann View Post

        Had I not been lured in with hopes of easy money, I might've never entered the IM world. Now that I'm in, I'm glad I was sold emotionally and love the challenges.
        True, so very true. Although, people like you and I are the ones that went beyond those hopes of easy money, and rose above that level and didn't give up. We're commendable, and this isn't the case for a lot of people coming into this game.
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        • Profile picture of the author Ehanson
          This is the sad truth of what happens to many people getting started in IM, I was a similar way when I got started but quickly realized no work= no results. Websites don't just market themselves.
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      • Profile picture of the author JBorhez
        Originally Posted by Marcel Hartmann View Post

        Had I not been lured in with hopes of easy money, I might've never entered the IM world. Now that I'm in, I'm glad I was sold emotionally and love the challenges.
        Very well put Marcel!

        It's a marathon not a sprint!
        Signature
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      • Profile picture of the author DASHBOY
        Sounds like too much hard work for me :rolleyes:

        Also check your paypal or clickbank account at least 5 times a day to see how much you haven't made
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      • Profile picture of the author Terri LC
        Brilliant, I too had to laugh out loud, then I realized, I'm sitting in my office (on a Saturday) cause the laptop at home is too slow - been here since 2, it's now 5 and I've been reading emails and trying to decide which blog to update, should I start a new one, do I ping, digg, stumble, tumblr, promote Gary's new book, make a video, I needed to read that, cause I came to the warrior forum to ask a question about SOKULE, and got side-tracked, yet again. Heading home, try again tomorrow!

        Cheers!
        Terri
        P.S. Has anyone heard of SOKULE? Sorry, I'll start a new thread!
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  • Profile picture of the author diro
    Originally Posted by TelegramSam View Post

    I wanted to share with you some of the secrets of making ZERO income online.

    Firstly, you have to make sure you remain unfocused.

    Surprisingly, this isn't that hard to do.

    Just remember to have no plan and no direction to go in.

    A good tip is to visit this forum a lot and just read and read and read.

    This can really help you to get unfocused and think of all sorts of things.

    Here's a quick step by step approach to really making ZERO. It actually takes quite a lot of effort to make nothing at all, but a lot of people are very good at it.

    Step 1

    As soon as you wake up, check your emails.

    Step 2

    Don't do any exercise and definitely don't eat a healthy breakfast.

    Step 3

    Vaguely think of all the many different ways to earn money that you read about the day before.

    Step 4

    Don't write down any ideas at all. Start to do this and you will soon start getting focussed, which is a slippery slope to success. Be careful. Make sure you don't start the ball rolling.

    Step 5

    Think about all the things you haven't done that really make you feel guilty and make sure you never allow yourself to let go of them.

    Step 6

    Surf over to your favourite news site, such as the BBC, CNN, FOX etc and see just how bad the world is.

    Step 7

    Don't go for a nice walk outside in case you start thinking that the world isn't really that bad afterall.

    Step 8

    Start thinking about all the regulations and rules that you could get yourself into trouble with. This is a good tip on making sure you don't do something. Amazingly good in fact.

    Step 9

    Get out that notepad and pen and look at it. Then check your emails again and look at the videos that were sent to you.

    Step 10

    By the way, did you check the sports results for last night? If not make this a priority.

    Step 11

    Are you taking in enough liquids? Make sure you brew yourself some coffee or have a cup of tea.

    Step 12

    That reminds me. Make sure you look in your spam folders just in case there is some important email in there.

    Step 13

    (Thud on the doormat...) Better check the newly arrived mail as that course you are expecting may have arrived.

    Step 14

    It's not here yet, otherwise you could delve into it. Fear not, there is lots of stuff you can get on with.

    Step 15

    Better finish off listening to the mp3 recording that you didn't finish yesterday. It's good to clear the decks.

    Step 16

    Perhaps you should see if there are any other juicy domain names available to add to your collection. You don't want to miss out on something good.

    Step 17

    Decide whether to buy the .net .org .info or use dashes, as the .com has gone.

    Step 18

    You better look online to see what people think.

    Step 19

    Phew!!! Time for lunch. Back soon
    Somewhere between 1 and 6 you forgot to include "Make plans to invest/spend all the money I won't be making today."

    This is a very important step and I'm really a little embarrassed for you that it was left out!

    Such an important step, and not even a mention, I'm really not sure what to say except...

    GREAT THREAD!!!
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  • Profile picture of the author Marcel Hartmann
    Video proof, please.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jag82
    Fantastic guide. Straight from the hip!

    I like the "reverse-psychology" spin you put to this.

    A sure-fire guide to fail! I wish I've read this when I first started!




    Originally Posted by TelegramSam View Post

    I wanted to share with you some of the secrets of making ZERO income online.

    Firstly, you have to make sure you remain unfocused.

    Surprisingly, this isn't that hard to do.

    Just remember to have no plan and no direction to go in.

    A good tip is to visit this forum a lot and just read and read and read.

    This can really help you to get unfocused and think of all sorts of things.

    Here's a quick step by step approach to really making ZERO. It actually takes quite a lot of effort to make nothing at all, but a lot of people are very good at it.

    Step 1

    As soon as you wake up, check your emails.

    Step 2

    Don't do any exercise and definitely don't eat a healthy breakfast.

    Step 3

    Vaguely think of all the many different ways to earn money that you read about the day before.

    Step 4

    Don't write down any ideas at all. Start to do this and you will soon start getting focussed, which is a slippery slope to success. Be careful. Make sure you don't start the ball rolling.

    Step 5

    Think about all the things you haven't done that really make you feel guilty and make sure you never allow yourself to let go of them.

    Step 6

    Surf over to your favourite news site, such as the BBC, CNN, FOX etc and see just how bad the world is.

    Step 7

    Don't go for a nice walk outside in case you start thinking that the world isn't really that bad afterall.

    Step 8

    Start thinking about all the regulations and rules that you could get yourself into trouble with. This is a good tip on making sure you don't do something. Amazingly good in fact.

    Step 9

    Get out that notepad and pen and look at it. Then check your emails again and look at the videos that were sent to you.

    Step 10

    By the way, did you check the sports results for last night? If not make this a priority.

    Step 11

    Are you taking in enough liquids? Make sure you brew yourself some coffee or have a cup of tea.

    Step 12

    That reminds me. Make sure you look in your spam folders just in case there is some important email in there.

    Step 13

    (Thud on the doormat...) Better check the newly arrived mail as that course you are expecting may have arrived.

    Step 14

    It's not here yet, otherwise you could delve into it. Fear not, there is lots of stuff you can get on with.

    Step 15

    Better finish off listening to the mp3 recording that you didn't finish yesterday. It's good to clear the decks.

    Step 16

    Perhaps you should see if there are any other juicy domain names available to add to your collection. You don't want to miss out on something good.

    Step 17

    Decide whether to buy the .net .org .info or use dashes, as the .com has gone.

    Step 18

    You better look online to see what people think.

    Step 19

    Phew!!! Time for lunch. Back soon
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  • Profile picture of the author Charann Miller
    Originally Posted by TelegramSam View Post

    I wanted to share with you some of the secrets of making ZERO income online.

    Firstly, you have to make sure you remain unfocused.

    Surprisingly, this isn't that hard to do.

    Just remember to have no plan and no direction to go in.

    A good tip is to visit this forum a lot and just read and read and read.

    This can really help you to get unfocused and think of all sorts of things.

    Here's a quick step by step approach to really making ZERO. It actually takes quite a lot of effort to make nothing at all, but a lot of people are very good at it.

    Step 1

    As soon as you wake up, check your emails.

    Step 2

    Don't do any exercise and definitely don't eat a healthy breakfast.

    Step 3

    Vaguely think of all the many different ways to earn money that you read about the day before.

    Step 4

    Don't write down any ideas at all. Start to do this and you will soon start getting focussed, which is a slippery slope to success. Be careful. Make sure you don't start the ball rolling.

    Step 5

    Think about all the things you haven't done that really make you feel guilty and make sure you never allow yourself to let go of them.

    Step 6

    Surf over to your favourite news site, such as the BBC, CNN, FOX etc and see just how bad the world is.

    Step 7

    Don't go for a nice walk outside in case you start thinking that the world isn't really that bad afterall.

    Step 8

    Start thinking about all the regulations and rules that you could get yourself into trouble with. This is a good tip on making sure you don't do something. Amazingly good in fact.

    Step 9

    Get out that notepad and pen and look at it. Then check your emails again and look at the videos that were sent to you.

    Step 10

    By the way, did you check the sports results for last night? If not make this a priority.

    Step 11

    Are you taking in enough liquids? Make sure you brew yourself some coffee or have a cup of tea.

    Step 12

    That reminds me. Make sure you look in your spam folders just in case there is some important email in there.

    Step 13

    (Thud on the doormat...) Better check the newly arrived mail as that course you are expecting may have arrived.

    Step 14

    It's not here yet, otherwise you could delve into it. Fear not, there is lots of stuff you can get on with.

    Step 15

    Better finish off listening to the mp3 recording that you didn't finish yesterday. It's good to clear the decks.

    Step 16

    Perhaps you should see if there are any other juicy domain names available to add to your collection. You don't want to miss out on something good.

    Step 17

    Decide whether to buy the .net .org .info or use dashes, as the .com has gone.

    Step 18

    You better look online to see what people think.

    Step 19

    Phew!!! Time for lunch. Back soon

    Hahahaha, you've struck a chord because there's a little bit of all of us in there.

    Imagine if we logged our time I'm sure we'd discover what our biggest time wasters were.

    Agree with you on the steps to earning zero dollars, lack of focus can be one of the biggest deal breakers when it comes to any kind of success.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sumit Menon
    Step 20

    Read TelegramSam's thread names "Watch over my shoulder as I make zero $$$'s today" multiple times.
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  • Profile picture of the author MikeWalker
    My Mother-in-law wants us to install a web cam so that she can see her grandchildren.

    Holy crap! She'll be able to see me checking my emails every 15 minutes.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kustom
    This thread is quality. Respect to the OP.

    Kustom.

    *******************

    HOWEVER: I've shortened it to a TWO STEP (maximum) process:

    1) Don't start / or Do Quit / or Stop.

    2) Try to please everybody.

    If you do any of the above, you will FAIL.

    Have a nice day,
    Kustom
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  • Profile picture of the author patJ
    Hilarious. That was me for the first 3 months of my IM career. Sadly, i started to focus on one thing at a time and now i'm not very successful at making $0 / day any more.. oh well.
    Signature

    Elegant, simple and clean Landing Page Templates for just $7.

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  • Profile picture of the author opportunites
    The best thread I never see in the warrior Forum!

    Perfect blueprint to success in this industry... (LOL)
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  • Profile picture of the author Steadyon
    Originally Posted by TelegramSam View Post

    I wanted to share with you some of the secrets of making ZERO income online.

    Firstly, you have to make sure you remain unfocused.

    Surprisingly, this isn't that hard to do.

    Just remember to have no plan and no direction to go in.

    A good tip is to visit this forum a lot and just read and read and read.

    This can really help you to get unfocused and think of all sorts of things.

    Here's a quick step by step approach to really making ZERO. It actually takes quite a lot of effort to make nothing at all, but a lot of people are very good at it.

    Step 1

    As soon as you wake up, check your emails.

    Step 2

    Don't do any exercise and definitely don't eat a healthy breakfast.

    Step 3

    Vaguely think of all the many different ways to earn money that you read about the day before.

    Step 4

    Don't write down any ideas at all. Start to do this and you will soon start getting focussed, which is a slippery slope to success. Be careful. Make sure you don't start the ball rolling.

    Step 5

    Think about all the things you haven't done that really make you feel guilty and make sure you never allow yourself to let go of them.

    Step 6

    Surf over to your favourite news site, such as the BBC, CNN, FOX etc and see just how bad the world is.

    Step 7

    Don't go for a nice walk outside in case you start thinking that the world isn't really that bad afterall.

    Step 8

    Start thinking about all the regulations and rules that you could get yourself into trouble with. This is a good tip on making sure you don't do something. Amazingly good in fact.

    Step 9

    Get out that notepad and pen and look at it. Then check your emails again and look at the videos that were sent to you.

    Step 10

    By the way, did you check the sports results for last night? If not make this a priority.

    Step 11

    Are you taking in enough liquids? Make sure you brew yourself some coffee or have a cup of tea.

    Step 12

    That reminds me. Make sure you look in your spam folders just in case there is some important email in there.

    Step 13

    (Thud on the doormat...) Better check the newly arrived mail as that course you are expecting may have arrived.

    Step 14

    It's not here yet, otherwise you could delve into it. Fear not, there is lots of stuff you can get on with.

    Step 15

    Better finish off listening to the mp3 recording that you didn't finish yesterday. It's good to clear the decks.

    Step 16

    Perhaps you should see if there are any other juicy domain names available to add to your collection. You don't want to miss out on something good.

    Step 17

    Decide whether to buy the .net .org .info or use dashes, as the .com has gone.

    Step 18

    You better look online to see what people think.

    Step 19

    Phew!!! Time for lunch. Back soon


    Well done Sam on what you managed to do before lunch.

    It usually takes me all day to do that much!!!
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  • Profile picture of the author MikeWalker
    I think this is a really clever opening post.

    It actually makes you think and realise just how much time a lot of us proabbaly waste each day.

    Cheers
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  • Profile picture of the author Andrea Brown
    This post is classic! (:
    ...can't say I haven't had a day or two like this.
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  • Profile picture of the author FriendlyRob
    I can't believe you are not charging for that information.
    Signature

    See What I'm up to Now The New Blog

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  • Profile picture of the author Shana_Adam
    You forgot to record the live webinar and charge $$$ for that!

    he he - these social sites should pay people for wasting their time. Instead of giving the user a nice experience it takes you half the day trying to work out how to use the site.
    Signature

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  • Profile picture of the author Steadyon
    Dear Sam,

    If I did what you suggested in the OP, I'd be twice as productive!!!

    Cheers mate
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  • Profile picture of the author MichaelHiles
    "Trying to convince some schmuck the on Warrior Forum that your view of something is correct " has to be on there somewhere.
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