Are Internet Marketers social outcasts?

Surely it is other people's negative attitude that is the problem - not yours.

It is probably because they are jealous of your life style.

Hey Faraz,

Mate first things first, internet marketing is a profession, it pays doesn't it? If you're happy doing this profession that's great and people should support and realize that's your calling in life even if they don't agree with it.

In away internet marketing can be a very unsocial environment, but networking and building relationships with fellow internet marketers is a great way to combat it.

Don't let the beliefs and thoughts of others, about online business get to you. I hear it all the time, but you know... I want this lifestyle and that's the most important thing I feel.

Sometimes you wonder if the people doubting and taunting the online business lifestyle are jealous that they don't have the life of freedom, no boss and no rules... it's all on your clock not somebody else's. This is the main reason I starting internet marketing and this is why I keep pushing and pushing to stay afloat.

Just don't let anyone judge you and don't let their judgments get to your head, other wise it'll affect your work and your business.

Hope this helps.

Cheers,
Tim

There are plenty of good comebacks to people like that. You just need the confidence to face and tell them:

I pay the bills with my online income
I make my own hours
I am my own boss
I take off when I want
I don't have to hop in a car and commute every day
I don't have to eat sh*t from some employer to keep my job

There's lot of others. Tell them.

First, do not worry what other people think. What does it matter?
Second as an Internet Marketer you should have a business plan as
well as a personal plan. Beleive it or not your personal plan is as important
as your business plan. The things that you want to do and desire in life
should drive your business plan.

When you start using your earned income to do the things you want and
to get the things you desire attitudes about what you are doing will change
from "get a real job" to "please show me how"

Social problem solved.

point no 1:

you can't impress the uninformed.

point no 2:

you run an internet BUSINESS

point no 3:

what you do is beyond the comprehension of many others.

point no 4:

we also had a local guy whose grandmother was on his case because he "did not have a regular job"

his name is Ernie Els..

you may have heard his name.

it has been mentioned regularly along with that of tiger Woods.

Final point:

YOU DO NOT NEED TO APOLOGIZE TO ANYONE.

period.

Sounds like your life is good to me

If people don't get it...don't waste your time
I tend to keep the peace in my family and life, let them think they are right and you do what's right for you

If you really feel the need to explain yourself, you now have plenty of comebacks/advice from others above

If you still feel the pressure, go out and get a cheap office and head to work each day.

Although...turn that into a positive. Find some office space that you can ride your bike to

Which in turn may get your creative juices spinning and perhaps will in turn make you more productive.

Then you can turn to your family and friends and tell them "thanks, I took your advice and got myself a really job at an office and I am now happier then ever"

while you have a large grin on the inside

- Scott Logan
Night Owl Marketing

Wishing You Whole Life Success!

I think the nature of IM can draw people that are intellectual versus social. Is the problem that other people don't understand, or you wish you were more social?

Other people will never understand. I like to take classes at the local college, just to get out, be social and meet people outside my normal 'group', and learn some new stuff.

Or post in this forum and we can chat .

-Debbie

Hi,

It sounds like you may feel like you need to get up and go.

As Scott said you could get a cheap office.

However a laptop with a WIFI connection and a portable power source would set you up in business wherever you go. I "work" at two different libraries in bustling downtown areas, Starbucks and any number of other hot spots.

Tammy, my daughter just bought a netbook with the carriers own dial in high speed Internet built in, G3 network and WIFI. In theory she is never out of Internet Touch. I can't wait till she gets tired of it so I can "Borrow" it.

I know another IMer who works at the airport. The WIFI is free the Coffee is cheap and the surrounding people come from all over the world. Nice atmosphere for him.

Just one more thing about the Air Port. I've seen people "Working" there for years.

The first time I noticed it was about 5 or 6 years ago. I was setting in a waiting area waiting for my daughter to come in from NY. A lady setting at a table near me drinking a cup of something answered her cell phone, "International, Mary speaking, may I help you." At that time the idea blew me away. Now I see it's common.

There is a lot of free office space out there where you can "get up and go to work," if that is what you want to do.

George Wright

Stop looking for approval and just say "Im a computer guy" or "Im in IT". Its all about framing.

When people ask who you work for answer is - I work for myself and I have many clients.

I am in fact a contractor for Google as one of my clients- I say that all the time.99 percent of people offline have no idea what Adsense is.

In the words of the great Earl Nightingale, The opposite of bravery is not cowardice, it is conformity. More than 95% of the world's population don't even know why they are doing, what they are doing. So don't worry much.

I know how you feel...all of my peers and family all act the same...no one understands
what us internet marketers are doing...

Some think I'm chasing get rich quick stuff, others think your following some kind of pipe dream...

I have one brother that is a web master that understands that there is money to be made, but won't take a stab at it cause of this wife...Ha Ha

For me I never let anyone get me down at what I'm doing with my online business...

There the one's that have to wake up everyday and drive through traffic to go to a dead end job that they hate...who are the dummies...

You are making a success of your life, you doing what you want, I am guessing your a grown man and should be able to do what you want.

As for the social aspect, why not try and meet fellow marketers at seminars? or workshops? Great why to socialize and meet like minded people.

Hey faraz, I bet every second guy on the warrior forum is an undercover pua!
Just feel comfortable in what you are doing, when someone asks you what you do say it with a big grin on your face

I'm sorry, I skipped almost all of the replies here...

What does owning an internet business have to do with having a social life???

Sure, when you are actually "working" for the most part it will be solitary, BUT that's no excuse for not having a life outside of your business.

As you said, you are naturally introvert, so you probably feel more comfortable at home rather then forcing yourself to go outside and be social.

But that's not internet marketing's fault, that's your own inner-demons.

Just keeping it real

You can have a social life while earning money online. In fact, I think an online marketer would have a better chance of being more social then a 9-5'er, why? Because the passive income frees up time for you to do what you want to do best.

I feel you. I'm the black sheep of my family and they have zero concept of the way I live my life. I'm one of the only ones who doesn't live within a couple hour drive of where they were born. I'm not married, I don't have kids, I haven't owned a car since 2001, I don't work for someone else and now *gasp* I live in a 3rd world dump (their take, not mine - for some reason they didn't worry when I lived in Switzerland but Mexico totally freaks them out).

My mom used to brag about my jobs (I've had some pretty high-profile jobs in the past) but now she has no idea how to even describe what I do so she just says 'something on the internet'.

I used to try and explain. Now I just tell people I develop websites and leave it at that. When people start asking annoying questions I just say "I prefer not to talk about work". When my family starts asking annoying questions I just say "when your opinion on the topic becomes important to me, I'll let you know." They've stopped asking/commenting (for the most part).

Just stand up for yourself. Come up with a couple one-liners and just say them. It can feel rude at first but really, they're the ones being rude. You'll get used to it and people will start leaving you alone.

You say you're an introvert and there's not a thing wrong with that. However, if you do at some point want to meet people who have a similar mindset career-wise you might look into joining a meetup group for marketers. Many meet just once a month so it would give you a chance to interact with people doing similar work and get that support without having to be overly social. But if not, it's really no big deal. Some people prefer to spend time alone than with others.

Good luck!

I know what you mean. I am constantly being told that I'm lazy and I need to go and get a "real" job.

Faraz, I used to face this all the time and while I still deal with it from time to time, I've now surrounded myself with people who "get it!" But I'm here to advise you that there are very specific strategies on how to deal with this:

First, realize in your heart and mind that most people are trained to be employees, not employers; forget about business owners. Most people have been brainwashed to go to school and get a good job. Get married, have kids, blah, blah, blah.......all these things are not for everyone. I've come to realize that most people do not challenge their own beliefs. Like, why do we believe what we believe?

But I digress......

Warriors who have been here for a few years know that I'm a part-time dating and transformation coach, which means I deal with men and women from all walks of life. The vast majority of them are introverts. You'd be amazed at how many wealthy people are introverted. They are great at making money, but lack certain social skills.....and that's where I come in.

What's great about internet marketing is also one of it's weaknesses. Some people tend to get into a "comfort zone" and end up socializing via the internet and hardly leave the house. Trust me, I did that at one time. I ballooned up to 200 pounds (I'm 5 feet 8 inches tall so it wasn't a pretty sight) and had my family yelling at me to get a "real job", even though I was out-earning all of them.

The friends and family (not my true friends btw) thought I was into "shady" stuff like porn (I wasn't).

Many, many years ago I was VERY introverted. I was so shy that I had a tough time making eye contact or talking to strangers. Then one day I read a book called UNLIMITED POWER by Anthony Robbins. The book inspired me to attend one of his seminars. I saved up enough money so I could have dinner with him and his now ex-wife. That dinner blew my mind and created a massive paradigm shift in the way I viewed the world.

That was more than a decade ago. A lot of trials and tribulations later and personal growth I've learned that you must take 100% responsibility for your own life. In other words, I believe that people CHOOSE to be social outcasts. You don't have to be and you don't have to take it from the family and friends who don't understand. Don't get me wrong, I'm very polite and cordial with my friends and family who do NOT "get it", but I do spend less time with them.

I spent a couple of years focusing on my social skills. I joined Toastmasters and learned to master the art of pubic speaking. I joined the pick up community and learned how to be more social with both men and women. My "old" friends cannot believe the changes I underwent. They cannot believe I'm the same person. That shy kid who used to stand against the wall with a drink in his hand is now mixing it up at parties and hosting social gatherings. But that's in my personality now.

Internet marketers are only social outcasts to people who don't get it. You can easily remedy this by hanging out with people who do get it. And to those that don't, you should learn about "frame control". He or she who controls the frame controls the reality. For example, when I am introduced to someone socially, like an actor or a doctor, and they ask me what I do for a living, I have about 20 pat answers that I give.

But let's just say that I respond with "I sell products online" and then the actor tries to dis me by saying "oh, so you're like porn king right?". I might respond with, "No, I don't sell porn, I sell products and services that people need. I might have the lifestyle of a porn star but I don't sell it." And I look them in the eye when I say it. You've got to have FUN with people when they try to make you feel like a loser because you work from home. Trust me, 99% of them don't understand what you do and they are ENVIOUS. Or they're simply ignorant. Don't let it get you down.

Your social network is all up to you. You can "feel" like a social outcast all you want because lets face it, the average person has an employee mindset. It's time to find "new friends". People who "get it". Trust me on this one, I've helped thousands of people around the world to climb out of their comfort zone and experience life the way they want to define it. So don't let them define you.

Lastly, "self esteem" is a b.s. pop-psychology made up word. You have far more POWER than you think. If you're not feeling good about yourself you can change all this in ONE day. There isn't enough room in this post do explain what I'm talking about. But go get the book (preferably the audio book) called THE POWER OF NOW by Eckart Tolle and listen to it a few times. Some of it is a little out there, but if you can train your mind to focus on the present, there is nothing you won't be able to achieve!

Good luck and if you need some advice, just use the PM feature.

Warmly,

Rod "I've-Got-The-Coffee-And-Merlot-Gene" Cortez

Screw non believers.
Internet Marketing is not about sitting in front of a computer all day long (which many people believe it is since it's 'internet')
It's about the lifestyle where you make your own hours and do whatever the hell you want without having to answer to a 'boss'.
Last time I checked being a business owner is awesome.

Chris

Tell them that you sell Bibles and offer to sell them one, they'll leave you at peace

Your family sounds very old fashioned and closed minded. I'd just ignore them. Be happy knowing that you have a much better job than most of them (if not all). We're not living decades ago, where most men worked in a factory, while the women kept care of the house.

And to go against the grain, I have a very active social life. Mostly because I DO work online and I get to set my own hours. If I want to have lunch with a friend during the weekday, I can. If I also want to go out that same night, I can. All because I can make up for lost hours any time I want.

Just want you to know that I sometimes (ok, often) feel guilty for choosing to spend more time with my computer than people. When put in social situations, I'm great, very open, but I'd MUCH rather be doing my thang alone.

Now, I have a friend that I wanted to punch this week. She's one of those people that go out all.the.time. Always at restaurants, bars and events and for the upteenth time, she made me feel like crap with one sentence, "We've gotta get you out of your apartment!" But when it comes down to it, her friendships are superficial (as is my relationship with her) and if going out to eat is a more meaningful alternative than creating something out of nothing and being fully self-employed...that makes her an idiot. But I'm a bigger idiot for letting it get to me.

So, all this to say, you're doing something of value, of worth, that many would give their eyeteeth to be able to accomplish: working for yourself. So try to stay strong and don't let the naysayers make you feel any less about yourself.

Just make sure to bathe occasionally. :-)

"Part of the problem may be in how you describe what you do." I identify with this, and need to come up with a better way.

This past week I was at a friend's when her client came over - he and his wife have a bunch of kids, and I asked if the wife stayed at home. She told me that she does, and "so does he. He manages the family's money." Certainly didn't leave me thinking he was lazy or needed to grow up!

That's the kind of line I'm looking for.

Faraz,

I know what you're going through with regards to people on your back. Bottom line is that people are scared to embrace new technology. You have a gift my brother and are exceptional at what you do. If you can live a good life then you are tehcnically 'made'. Its a bti of jealousy as well as lack of understanding. I can tell from your name that you come from a traditional asian family and its hard to change old school mindsets where being a doctor, accountant or lawyer is the only way to go.

Ask yourself or in fact ask your friends or family this?

- Do they enjoy their job?
- Did they enjoy their commute into work and home from work today?
- Do they think they get paid enough?
- Did they miss relaxing at home?
- Do they enjoy spending timje awy from their family and friends?

Now the point IM trying to make is that you are in a wonderful situation, you can take time off whenever you want, and can pretty much take control of your life. Becuase you're not surrounded by the usual office people it doesn't make you different, it makes you far more powerful than that. You will obviously find it difficult, how about joining like the local gyms, getting involved with family a litte more? How much time do you spend on your business?

Good luck
Zaheer

A lot of great responses here. I used to study social dynamics, and I can tell you right now, this is probably the best job to brag about.

When people say, "what do you do for a living?"

I say

(OK this isn't completely true but close enough) "I run my own online marketing business"

"really what do you do for that?"

You "well you know when people have a problem, issue, or when they need something? I lead them to the answer." Or you can say "I advertise other peoples products for a set of commission, pretty much I take other peoples products and get them to the people who need them"

Real job?! THIS IS AS REAL AS IT GETS!

If they ask me about income I just smile and say I don't like to talk about it, if they press I say that the job is well worth it.

(note: most of this is mainly because I am starting a huge campaign, so far I have seen 0 sales but I am only a few days into it)

Never feel bad about this job, or any job, do what YOU like.

I enjoy online marketing, I have some fascination with selling things and running businesses (heck I used to sell my sandwhiches and drinks for a large profit in middle school lunch)

Get paid what your worth.

I get the exact same reaction from family
and friends.

I don't even talk about what I do to anyone.
They don't understand it and they think that
I'm being scammed in some way.

I just enjoy my income - do things with
my kids and when I meet someone who's
a small business owner - we have lunch...

They are always fascinated at the way
I earn a living and are genuinely interested...

My folks don't understand either. I work a 9-5 right now and work part-time on my web businesses but I'm closer to getting out of my 9-5 than ever before and looking forward to saying goodbye to my boss. My folks think I am crazy and laugh under their breath at me but I still move foreward. My father is big on education and going to a 4-year university and getting a degree. The only thing that he will be able to comprehend is huge paychecks and I don't think that flashing my bank account balance is even necessary, in fact, it's juvenile and I refuse to play that game.

I don't call my family for money and don't ask. They don't pay my bills and I feel fine about myself. Should they decide to come visit and see how i'm living, then I suspect that is when the questions will start. So how are you paying for this? Then that's my opportunity to share how I'm doing it. You don't owe anyone any explanations. You are a self-employed entrepreneur in sales. I think it's kind of immature to flash cash and bling around your folks to prove your worth. No one likes a show off. I keep it private, that way no one has the opportunity to accuse you of being a show off or visit you late at night to relieve you of said cash and bling.

Get out sometimes after work, get a hobby, go to IM conventions and local area business get togethers and start flocking with those who understand you, then you won't be so lonely. It's good to get to know others in your neck of the woods. You never know, you may develop lifelong friendships or business partnerships that way.

The hardest time to justify our efforts is when you're making just a few dollars a day; that's the situation I'm in right now. One work colleague commented on $40 of Clickbank profits, "how long did you spend making those sales?" It was about 2 weeks, and these sales were my first IM profits. He looked very dimissive, but I didn't care. Nor do I now. My family members don't really know yet, except for my step-father who knows I have something brewing and does believe in me.

I know it's all gonna happen. As for the social outcast thing, I was dodging a social life for music long before I dodged one for IM. However, the amount of time I would like to drown my consciousness in half-steps, modes and chord progressions is not available while working a full-time day job with rent and bills to pay at 20.
Right now, every waking minute at home, during my commute etc. is IM - music has taken a backseat. So the plan is to fund my true passion with IM.
The holidays and stuff would be nice, also. And more time with family.

Faraz, I agree with much of what has been said here. You are not an outcast, you
just don't fit in their vision of how things should go.

It is hard to change the perceptions of others, but you can change your own perceptions. Work at building your self esteem and setting some boundaries.
I was quiet and shy, and have grown out of a lot of that over the years.

If you still live at home, you will have more pressure to do what your parents
and relatives think you should be doing. If you live on your own it is easier.

Do they have some real concerns about how much time you might be spending at the computer? If so, at the least, go for walks and get some exercise time in each day. It is good for health and stimulates your brain.

As far as getting out socially, being by oneself the majority of time can turn a shy introverted person more so. Set some time aside to get out. When I was young, I would go to gatherings and events and just not say much. Some people noticed that, but at least I was there. Over time, it got easier.

Once in a while unless there is a lot of negativity in general, invite some of your relatives and friends to go with you somewhere. It lets them see you have a life outside your business, and helps strenthen the bond within the family.

I have plans to invite a sister that gives me a lot of flack for "sitting on my butt in front of the computer instead of working" ( I am pretty well retired from 30 years of working for myself and others) on a drive up the coast to see some sights.

It lets her see I have a life outside the internet, it gets me out of the house and hopefully builds our relationship. Yep, I can set my own hours, isn't that nice?

Take care and don't let it get you down. Learn to dance in the rain, rather than
lament the rainstorm. You are you. Unique and special. Everyone of us are.

Jeannie

All this is very true. Sometimes people just need a shove in the right direction or a big "$&#$ You!" to let them know that you aren't going to take any of their BS. Do what makes you happy, and if it pays the bills great! You don't need to answer to anyone but yourself.

NEVER feel bad about what you have done. If you have built a income big enough that you don't have to work anymore then you should wake up every morning dancing for joy. Who cares what someone still running in the rat race thinks, especially if they think thats the way to go. just wave to them as they go of to work...

Yes and No....great thing about the Internet is you can be a marketing Genius and make a great living where in the regular every day 9 to 5 job world you might fail in marketing because you don;t dress right, or people don;t like the way you talk or whatever....but online, no one can see you....and you can be whoever you want to be.....even create a new name and new image.....your the star !!

If you work hard and are doing well, then there should not be any problem. Everyone should be proud of what they do. Online is competitive and you have to be good at what you do to survive. These are things to be proud of.

that is because everybody likes to follow the protocols - get a degree,go out,get a job and work for a boss till you die.They will never understand whatever you say.

I would day I am more social now, being that I work from home and make more money I want to go out more and meet more people! I love going out whenever I want to and not when ever I have money for it...

I agree with many others here that you shouldn't feel inferior for what you do. On contrast you have the freedom and income that I would think many of these people are just plain jealous about.

There's a lot of ignorance 'out there' in the "real world", but you have lots of friends here, and you can offer to teach some of the people that don't think you have a real job. He-he, get even! Charge them coaching fees to learn how to make money like you do, and SMILE. You know-it makes people wonder what you're up to!

God bless, and hope you find the security that YOU deserve.

Wow....what timing! I just talked to my mom today and got off the phone kinda feeling like a failure 'cause I don't have a 'real' job. It happens now and again when attempting to explain what I'm trying to do as a business. Most people don't have the 'work for yourself' mentality so it's extremely difficult for them to understand.

They would rather see you miserable and bitchin about work than going after your dreams. At least you have a 'real job'!! It's a more accepted form of day to day even though most are unhappy with their jobs. Why is it wrong to make a living by doing something you enjoy? It's a hard concept to grasp, even for me sometimes as I am still a relative newbie.

To paraphrase the great George Carlin when talking about sayings that he hates: You can't have you're cake and eat it too. Why not? Isn't that what cake is for? To eat it?

Anyway, I was pretty upset when I got off the phone with my mom, although I didn't show it of course. So, thanks faraz and to all who posted.

Here's something you can say to those who have an opinion: "I appreciate it but your opinion is none of my business"

Have a good one!

Faraz,

We all have our preferences. I grew up shy, and set goals like: "Speak to 4 people today." I discovered that I could EASILY meet that goal, if I used store clerks in my small hometown to get it done.

Onward to today. I love speaking from stage, running seminars, DEEP AND FUN conversations one on one or in small groups with just about anyone. I don't like bs conversations with whiners, and parrots.

I enjoy people who are ambitious and who can think.

So what's this have to do with you?

What ever you want to change or do, change or do.

Internet marketing is maybe the best place to really explore this, not just as a concept but as a reality. Build business ANYWAY you want.

And do the same with your entire life. Read a SEO book one day, read "Think And Grow Rich" the next. Follow that with "The Big Moo" or "Tribes".

Take action on what inspires you.

Above all, you are you. Appreciate you for all you can be. Don't belittle yourself for ANYONE.

Internet marketers make the world go round.

Whoo yah!

Mr. Twenty Twenty

Just an insight, if your "online job" shuts your social function (i.e. you don't interact with family and friends anymore) then that could be a problem. But "jobs in the real world" for me are much more difficult because your finances are dependent on others. It could be very risky, riskier than having an online business. just my 2 cents.

Hey JohnMcCabe,

You made me giggle on the "pity the poor salesperson" comment. Carol and I get out a few hours a day, BECAUSE we literally have to. Sometimes it's just to go sit at a coffee shop, other times to walk with a cigar.

The BIG BONUS is meeting FLESH AND BLOOD people.

And then SCARING them.

"So you work on the internet?" Is it porn or ebay you do?

My answer..... "both."

Whoo yah!

Twenty Twenty
Having fun and making friends!

Hey Thanks for the replies and suggestions everyone.
I see that most of you can relate to my situation.

about my social life. Its not that my internet marketing is keeping me away from my family and friends.
It is just me who doesnt want to meet family and friends, especially when they start lecturing me.
I spend my day the way I want to .
I play about 2 hours of tennis everyday.
I go to the gym.
I do some jogging in the park

What bothers me is when my family members tell me that I should not
be spending my time like this.

That I should go and sit in my shop the whole day.(my brother actually does that)
he sits in a shop from 10 am to about 9 pm.
and they want me to do the same.

even though I am earning almost the same amount of money doing internet marketing
and without the kind of investment that he does.

And about getting a virtual employee. I already have one who is permanent and there are other freelancers whom I use from time to time.

And about socialising with people. I have never been much of a socializer.
I didnt have many friends in school too.
sometimes, I do feel like I should socialize and meet people.
But after I meet people in parties or anywhere, i just find all of this socializing to be too superficial or kind of fake.

When I say internet marketers are social outcasts I mean we are so different from other people that we kind of stand out from the crowd and people are just unable to relate to us and we are unable to relate to them.

And therefore, I feel as if there is something wrong with me although I feel different now after reading your replies.