How do you guys solve the problem of solitude?

50 replies
As in, if you are working at home, it is most likely to be alone and quite solo.

With nobody else really. How do the experienced internet marketers solve this problem?
#guys #problem #solitude #solve
  • Profile picture of the author StevenR
    Hang Out At Starbucks.

    In all seriousness, I actually do some work from one of the many local Starbucks... this gets me out of the house which is nice and I often meet interesting people.

    If you need to get some "adult interaction" I recommend getting involved with some type of an activity that gets you around people.

    I for instance train in Martial Arts which gets me out of the house every day. It's a nice break from the routine and the "loneliness" of being a full time internet marketer.

    /Steven
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    • Profile picture of the author DJM587
      Originally Posted by StevenR View Post

      Hang Out At Starbucks.

      In all seriousness, I actually do some work from one of the many local Starbucks... this gets me out of the house which is nice and I often meet interesting people.

      If you need to get some "adult interaction" I recommend getting involved with some type of an activity that gets you around people.

      I for instance train in Martial Arts which gets me out of the house every day. It's a nice break from the routine and the "loneliness" of being a full time internet marketer.

      /Steven
      Starbucks is great! Especially now since they give you 2 hours free wifi. Barnes and Noble is also a favorite but has more distractions with all the books I wanna read
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  • Profile picture of the author rapidscc
    Call some friends, hang out with them from time to time.

    You'll experience solitude if you don't reach out to people. A few minutes call/conversation with your friends and family won't hurt your internet marketing efforts. If you have enough money, treat them out to lunch.

    all the best,

    Omar
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  • Profile picture of the author shaddai
    Solitude's a problem? Holy crap....and all this time I've been looking for ways to make people go away!

    Just kidding...well, sorta. I have a noisy family & kids. Quiet is what I have to look for.

    Todd
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  • Profile picture of the author Damien Roche
    Got myself a pet budgie then realized how sad my life was then heard my budgie tweeting then reali...

    Seriously, this has to be THE biggest drawback of working at home. I moved to another city a couple of years ago, and I don't have any friends here and well..I work online so I haven't really made many friends. It's actually beginning to get to me now.

    Started some lessons in jeet kune do nearby my house, so hopefully I'll meet some nice, decent people.
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  • Profile picture of the author ahlexis
    Yup, it's true. Most people think we "earn-our-living-off-the-internet" folks work at home. They seem to forget it also means we live at work!

    Back when I was working in corporate America even if I was pulling mega overtime there was some point where I actually left the building and went home, even if only to sleep for 5-6 hours and then jump up and rush back out the door for the next day. Plenty of change of scenery (including a long commute) and lots of people around. Back then I used to long for a day of not seeing anybody.

    So now that I don't see anybody for work it's kind of nice...sometimes.

    What I have found myself doing lately is, force myself to take a break. And not just get up and walk away from the computer break, but a get in the car and drive to go out for lunch break. Not everyday, just when I feel I have too much solitude. Sometimes that's enough. (Other days I skip it; I actually like the quiet.)
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    • Profile picture of the author Kevin Riley
      There's a problem with solitude? I love solitude.

      If you don't, go out for a walk in your neighbourhood. Go to the local pub. Getting out - I go for a walk every day and the gym a few times a week - gets your brain cells working better, anyway. Get some oxygen flowing through and you'll find more ideas flowing.
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      • Profile picture of the author Bai_Mike
        Not only is lack of social interaction a problem, when you are alone, sales letters and all these attractive offers hanging around tend to distract you or even make you feel that there is "something missing".
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      • Profile picture of the author DogScout
        Originally Posted by Kevin Riley View Post

        There's a problem with solitude? I love solitude.

        If you don't, go out for a walk in your neighbourhood. Go to the local pub. Getting out - I go for a walk every day and the gym a few times a week - gets your brain cells working better, anyway. Get some oxygen flowing through and you'll find more ideas flowing.

        I hang upside down to get oxygen to the brain. Lol.

        With a wife, 3 dogs, 2 kids and 2 grand-kids in the house... solitude is the least of my problems.

        I do get out once a week for a massage, once or twice a week to an AA meeting. Starbucks for coffee (but I bring it home.)

        My situation is a bit different. Being in constant pain, going 'out' is not a fun thing usually, as it comes with a price. (An increase in pain for several hours).
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  • Profile picture of the author 4success53
    I get my best work done. I have to do it when it is quiet. I do not have an option.

    If there is anyone out there that is married and has children.

    They will know what I mean. As soon as that door opens forget even trying to concentrate.

    But, I have always enjoyed the quiet. But, not everyone does.
    As long as you are getting something accomplished take breaks and socialize.
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    • Profile picture of the author Keith Boisvert
      Originally Posted by 4success53 View Post

      I get my best work done. I have to do it when it is quiet. I do not have an option.

      If there is anyone out there that is married and has children.

      They will know what I mean. As soon as that door opens forget even trying to concentrate.

      But, I have always enjoyed the quiet. But, not everyone does.
      As long as you are getting something accomplished take breaks and socialize.
      Yup. 3 kids(all girls), 2 dogs and 2 cats. I LOVE solitude. Plus I grew up an only child, so tons of "ruckus" pisses me off. I actually have an offsite office for cheap money each month so it gets me out of the house 10 hours a day.

      keith
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  • Profile picture of the author Kirahster
    I have a 2 year old so that solves the solitude problem. It actually more than solves the solitude problem.

    The problem I have now, is fitting in the time to get any work done!
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  • Profile picture of the author Online Bliss
    I think of all the partying and waste of time I did
    when I was much younger. It is time to work and
    make something for myself. There is no such thing
    as an "automatic cash cow" like some Gurus say.
    At least it won't last forever.
    When I reach my next benchmark I will Vacation.
    Yes you guessed it, I am single!
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  • Profile picture of the author ildarius
    Yep, it can get pretty hard and we've all been there I guess.

    My solution is to be nowhere near the city when the week-end comes. I go out and hang with my friends / watch movies / drive out of the city / smoke Shisha... so 5 days of relative solitude and 2 days of extra social interactions balance out quite well.
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  • Profile picture of the author Shane Dolby
    Yea you really need to set Hours. For 5 years i worked 16-18 hrs aday 7 days aweek on the net was not good for my health. Now i try and do 8-10 hrs a day and take 2 days off just like i would any other job.

    Funny but i get alot more work done this way than i did the other way and i get to enjoy alot more. Yea sometimes i run overtime if i am on a project and get behind. not the norm though.

    And i usally walk outside for 10-15 mins several times a day so that i dont get that shut in feel and alittle exercise

    Shane
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  • Profile picture of the author DAS_Matt
    After years of working with the public solitude doesn't bother me in the least. tarted working online in late 1997 early 1998 and don't miss being around people at all. I was great working with the public but like this MUCH better. I did have dogs for all of that time until jut recently so nto sure if that'll change the solitude aspect but I do have family and friends I visit once in a while.
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  • Profile picture of the author darijan
    I work with my wife, so not much solitude there. But, if I was alone, I'd probably do some of the work at the coffee shop.
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  • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
    Originally Posted by zijian View Post

    As in, if you are working at home, it is most likely to be alone and quite solo.
    1. Go out and do something every week. Doesn't matter what. Just block out about two to four hours, get out of the house, and don't even let yourself think about work.

    2. Go to at least one live event every month. This can be a rock concert, the theatre, the ballet, the opera, the movies, an IM conference, one of the interest groups on meetup.com, whatever - just get out of the house and into a crowd of real people who are all there for the same reason.

    3. Talk to strangers whenever the opportunity arises. See above. Those are opportunities. Use them.

    4. Learn the names of the people who work in the places you frequent - stores, restaurants, whatever - and greet them by name when you go there.

    Everyone wants to feel like they matter, like they make a difference in other people's lives, like other people notice them and care what they're doing. Attention is the currency of the future. Pay attention to people, and more people will love you for it than hate you.

    And you'll never be lonely again.
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    • Profile picture of the author francof
      Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

      1. Go out and do something every week. Doesn't matter what. Just block out about two to four hours, get out of the house, and don't even let yourself think about work.

      2. Go to at least one live event every month. This can be a rock concert, the theatre, the ballet, the opera, the movies, an IM conference, one of the interest groups on meetup.com, whatever - just get out of the house and into a crowd of real people who are all there for the same reason.

      3. Talk to strangers whenever the opportunity arises. See above. Those are opportunities. Use them.

      4. Learn the names of the people who work in the places you frequent - stores, restaurants, whatever - and greet them by name when you go there.

      Everyone wants to feel like they matter, like they make a difference in other people's lives, like other people notice them and care what they're doing. Attention is the currency of the future. Pay attention to people, and more people will love you for it than hate you.

      And you'll never be lonely again.

      That's some great advice! Thanks
      I've experienced that too, It's great to work from home and work hard but it also has it's drawbacks like mentioned in this thread. Myself I've been in different situations that (I won't bore you with the details) requied me to have to work crazy hours, non stop for a couple years - that meant often working all night, sleeping most of the day. While that got me what I wanted financially, it killed any social life I had. Seems over this time, all the friends I had, I neglected or they moved far away. At least I have my fiancee which takes care of the solitude problem but I think I will take some of the advice in here in the next year so that I can have more friends.
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    • Profile picture of the author DJM587
      Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

      1. Go out and do something every week. Doesn't matter what. Just block out about two to four hours, get out of the house, and don't even let yourself think about work.

      2. Go to at least one live event every month. This can be a rock concert, the theatre, the ballet, the opera, the movies, an IM conference, one of the interest groups on meetup.com, whatever - just get out of the house and into a crowd of real people who are all there for the same reason.

      3. Talk to strangers whenever the opportunity arises. See above. Those are opportunities. Use them.

      4. Learn the names of the people who work in the places you frequent - stores, restaurants, whatever - and greet them by name when you go there.

      Everyone wants to feel like they matter, like they make a difference in other people's lives, like other people notice them and care what they're doing. Attention is the currency of the future. Pay attention to people, and more people will love you for it than hate you.

      And you'll never be lonely again.
      Awesome advice! Kudos to you!
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      • Profile picture of the author Kay King
        The solitude is one of my favorite things about working online.

        I like people...in small doses....well spaced.

        I work weekends at a part time job to keep skill levels up and friends there often wonder how I can work at home all week...they have no idea how ready I am to go home at the end of a day spent with people!

        Of course I can always talk to Doodah and Gracie (my dogs) - but the cats don't listen.

        kay
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        • Profile picture of the author SteveJohnson
          Oh, they listen all right - they just don't want you to KNOW that they listen...


          Originally Posted by Kay King View Post


          Of course I can always talk to Doodah and Gracie (my dogs) - but the cats don't listen.

          kay
          Cats are like my kids were when they were youngsters. They hear, they understand, but they ignore. That way, when the s*&t hits the fan, they can plead ignorance, "I didn't HEAR YOU!"

          Dogs are like my kids are now that they're older. You give a command, even politely couched as a request, and all you get back is the glaring eyed "up yours" look - then they do what they please anyway.

          So now, the kids are at school, the cats are outside, the dogs live somewhere else, and Gilbert the turtle, in his terrarium, gives me all the relief from solitude that I need
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  • Profile picture of the author JackPowers
    I work ten times more effective in a coffee shop or an internet cafe. I agree working from home gets lonely. Some people like it, but I like being around people more. I think the solution is to get serious about not being serious. It's important to structure your social life into hobbies, sports, hanging out with friends and studying new stuff. In the 4 hour work week there's a lot of good stuff on how to do this.

    Personally, I like taking classes at the local university non-degree, language classes, martial arts, travelling. Fills up fast actually. Not enough time for work!
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  • Profile picture of the author orchid
    I can only reiterate what others have said before me. If you find that you're becoming house bound and you do not have another human being to interact with at all during the day then plan some "out time", whether it be an hour a day to walk around the block or a day a week to get involved in an activity that will have you interacting with others.

    You do need to break yourself away from that computer otherwise you've just exchanged the work outside the home "prison" for the work inside the home "prison".

    Personally I long for and treasure my moments of solitude.
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  • Profile picture of the author Emily Meeks
    I didn't know solitude was a problem >

    *ahem*

    In all seriousness, I know what you mean. I was homeschooled half my life, so I always needed creative ways to meet people (and it worked - I actually had a ton of friends growing up, and still do). Of course, lucky for me I live in Austin, so there's really always something to do. Go to coffee shops, bookstores, take community college classes, try a new activity - martial arts, dance, sewing, and theatre arts are just a few of my faves - whatever strikes your fancy. Hell, even if you spend your afternoons playing World of Warcraft, there are plenty of WoW conventions you can attend and befriend other gamers.
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  • Profile picture of the author IMcruiser
    I think it's vitally important to get out and enjoy the fruits of your labours with friends. Solitude is great when you are working but just like any other job, there has to be a point where you do something else.
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  • Profile picture of the author DJM587
    My Advice.

    -Internet Marketing doesn't have to be done alone. Find a smart pal or two to get into it with, whether it be a forum member or using Skype. Make a group. One thing I know about all of the Super Affilates and marketers out there, they all talk about their TEAM.

    -Internet Marketing can be done from ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD. Book a hotel or a cruise. Solitude is great in the beginning though. I think we need to sit down, highly caffienated, and learned the hell outta the business. That takes time. Then you should be sucesful. I am still in the learning stage s of internet marketing. Once I make enough money for a vacation, I am ging to take it, with the goal to make the money back during the actual vacation.

    -So to end it, internet marketing doesn't have to be done alone. With netbooks now being so small, you can take your work anywhere and make it your office. If you dont like the place, just move
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  • Profile picture of the author David Wolfman
    Man loves company even if it is only that of a small burning candle. ~Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

    I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. ~Henry David Thoreau, "Solitude," Walden, 1854

    Language... has created the word "loneliness" to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word "solitude" to express the glory of being alone. ~Paul Johannes Tillich, The Eternal Now

    There are days when solitude is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall. ~Colette
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  • Profile picture of the author 4success53
    Where do you live?

    I will trade places with you.

    Even if I get out of the house to work the phone rings because the family either wants to know where I am and when will I be back, someone is mad at someone else or they want me to pickup something (usually food). I get a call at least once from each of them, usually.

    Don't get me wrong. I adore my family. But, really! They are soo needy.

    But, I wonder if this is why corporations are so leery of having their employees telecommute? Gee, I wonder?
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  • Profile picture of the author TheRichJerksNet
    Originally Posted by zijian View Post

    As in, if you are working at home, it is most likely to be alone and quite solo.

    With nobody else really. How do the experienced internet marketers solve this problem?
    Well if you bored and alone I am sure I can find a good bit of work for you ... I do have a 3 bedroom home .lol See now you would not be alone -

    James
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  • Profile picture of the author JR Rich
    -- Solitude a problem?
    -- Starting to feel like Charleton Heston in "The Omega Man?"
    -- Singing The 4 Tops hits to break the silence?

    Is that what's bugging you, pilgrim?

    Get a part-time job in a shoe store at the Mall!

    What? The Mall? Shoes?

    Yep, after about three weeks of dealing with women with 'High arches', 'Low arches', tendinitis, wide toe-box and narrow heels, you'll cherish every second that you come home to a quiet house and work with people you never have to actually meet!

    Shoe Selling -- that's the ticket!

    Regards,
    --JR Rich
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  • Profile picture of the author darrin_cooper
    Three Words: Pimpin & Hoein!
    If it's not material things that will wet your appetite, it's Pimpin & Hoein.
    This means, after you have done all your digital pimpin online all day, trying to shove your products down peoples throats, you can do some live pimpin by actually hitting the clubs.....and the best way to do this is hit a night out on the town by yourself.
    Why by yourself? Because it will allow you to open up & force you to speak to live people. Yes, this is the hoein part.
    And also it's more fun to hit the clubs & social scenes by yourself. You meet more people, you are forced to strike up conversations or take on conversations. Do this when you get bored. And you will not only learn more about what you are selling, but how people are actually living........Pimpin & Hoein!
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  • Profile picture of the author cypherslock
    library some times (thankfully I've got a proxy VPN set up at home so I'm safe. Other than that, my two cats regularly let me know when they need some "me" time.
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    • Profile picture of the author TheRichJerksNet
      Originally Posted by cypherslock View Post

      library some times (thankfully I've got a proxy VPN set up at home so I'm safe. Other than that, my two cats regularly let me know when they need some "me" time.
      Hey what up Erik, how you been doing ?

      James
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    • Profile picture of the author seoFool
      I generally love solitude!

      But every once in a while I try to get out...hang out at starbucks for a while, or walk in the park.

      Also in the past I've taken a night class or two at a local community college. Night classes tend to have older people (as opposed to 18 year old kids straight out of high school) and you can pick up a thing or two along the way...you can audit the class if you don't want to take it for a grade and take tests and stuff. Most colleges allow reduced fee's for audits...

      Great way to meet people, and depending on the class...they can be like-minded people!

      I suppose you could also start a local mastermind group of internet marketers to get together and shoot the bull...though I've never really done this myself.
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  • Profile picture of the author devilishsaint
    Why don't you setup an office and hire an assistant it can lower down your work burden and solitude problem as well.
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  • Profile picture of the author James Clark
    To begin with, I spent almost 20 years in corporate. So, do you think I miss them? Play golf in the morning every other day. When I'm not playing Golf, walk 5 miles.

    In addition that, dead hooked political junkie until about 10:30pm. Now, is when the fun begins? Behold the famous nightcap. One super dry Beefeater Martini. Well I may not be in heaven, but it sure feel like the right zip code.

    How could anything be better, I love it.

    Jimmy.
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  • Profile picture of the author Fernando Veloso
    How do the experienced internet marketers solve this problem?
    Work with my wife.

    Well, sort of I work, she reads online magazines.
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  • Profile picture of the author Fernando Veloso
    Originally Posted by robbie foster View Post

    This may not be the solution as in most of the cases. Both will be busy in one or the other work. This will not solve solitude problem if both are working separately at same thing.
    Maybe we can get a cat, a dog or a monkey to entertain us while working!!

    Or we can work a bit while the other is dancing Hula.

    Then we change.

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  • Profile picture of the author Steven Carl Kelly
    How do I solve the problem of solitude? The same way I solve a problem like Maria.
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  • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
    Banned
    I don't consider it a problem. I worked many years in a team environment, dealing with office politics and petty crap from co-workers .... don't miss it. I enjoy working alone. Have a few online buddies that I email and chat with a bit.

    I assume that at least some of you have a real social life, not connected to work life. That's enough for me.
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  • Profile picture of the author tremayne
    I simply have a list of things to get through each day.Up in the morning, breakfast, computer. Quick break for supper. Lunch is a sandwich at my computer often still typing with one hand. After supper, back to the computer until I am so tired I have to go to bed.

    I get a break for a few hours on Sunday when I go to church...then back to the computer!

    Solitude? Who has time for solitude?!

    Sydney
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  • Profile picture of the author Scott Million
    Originally Posted by zijian View Post

    As in, if you are working at home, it is most likely to be alone and quite solo.

    With nobody else really. How do the experienced internet marketers solve this problem?
    What do the 9-5ers do?

    I go to the gym everyday, and while it's not the best idea, I do go to a convenient store everyday and grab a gatorade and chat a bit. Also try to make plans in advance to have something to look forward to with friends/family... but there's also a lot of chores and such which I'll space out throughout the week instead of doing them all at once.

    You create excuses to get out and be social if you really want to. I'm going to take dance lessons pretty soon, too.
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  • Profile picture of the author pierro
    Hi, flexibility is key, I often love the quiet solitude, but sometimes I'll hang up me boots and head off to the pub, you don't have to have your nose to the grind stone 24/7.
    That's choice!
    cheers, pierro
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  • Profile picture of the author RyanLeisure
    I don't mind the quiet. I chat with several people every day, and not just about work, so I think that helps. Plus my wife also works at home (she's a photographer), so I always have her to talk to. It's great having her here, we get to see each other all day. Can't really imagine doing it any other way.
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  • Profile picture of the author senatl
    There is a thing in Atlanta called co-working or joint working. It's basically sharing office space with other start-ups, freelancers, or home bizers. By having those people around you it saves money for office space and it gives you that camaraderie.
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  • Profile picture of the author NightWriter
    I, too, am grateful for the solitude. I can go out whenever I want - but, mostly, I don't. There is plenty to do here, too, but I usually save it for when I have family here - we have a lot of great live shows, plays, live music, great shopping, nature, etc.

    But, mostly I only leave the house a couple of times a month to grocery shop and pick up the mail.

    Whenever I do interact with people, I'm often disappointed or else just kind of freaked out. There are a lot of nice people where I live, but they all look like they under some hypnotic spell. I find that I don't have a lot to say to most of them because they live in a television programmed world. Their eyes are glazed over from watching the nightly "news" and American Idol.

    My life is on the 'net and in books, plus, I have had some - I guess - unusual real life experience. A lot of people think that if it didn't happen on television, it didn't happen, even if it happened to you and you have the scars to prove it. That latter is the main reason I don't like to go out. Too many crazies everywhere.
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