The Silver Linings and Quarantine Memes Thread

5 years ago

Neighbors have attempted to leap from windows to their death, (or near death... most have single story homes so they are badly bruised).

The rest was pretty funny, but this line absolutely did it for me.

Okay, here's a video meme I put together.
[url]

Neighbors have attempted to leap from windows to their death, (or near death... most have single story homes so they are badly bruised).

The rest was pretty funny, but this line absolutely did it for me.

Okay, here's a video meme I put together.

Toilet Paper Dragon Coronavirus I am the last one...

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IGotMine

5 years ago

Can you say ouch?

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bhavya92 5 years ago

Haha Good one and exact situation right now
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Mark Singletary

5 years ago

Poor baby!

https://www.facebook.com/optomnperez...7137401893595/

Mark

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WF- Enzo

Administrator 5 years ago

Okay this has been fact-checked, but a meme is a meme.

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Bjarne Eldhuset

5 years ago

Quarantine week #3: Even my plants have (slowly) begun social distancing.

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Medon 5 years ago

Originally Posted by Bjarne Eldhuset

Quarantine week #3: Even my plants have (slowly) begun social distancing.

I love this so it is everyone for themselves and God for us all.
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spartan14

5 years ago

Well i dont have nothing with humor but some people are not constient of what happens around them .They said its a joke and its something invented by elites to scare them .Well i agree they lie a lot and they want also to scare people ,but this thing its not a joke we see so many people infected and many of them they died and also young people

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Kay King

5 years ago

i dont have nothing with humor

There are already serious threads - this one is for HUMOR....

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

Just spoke to my brother on the phone who is now working from home, and has his school age kids doing the same type of thing.

He asked me, "Can you expel your own kids from home schooling for bad behaviour?"

A pertinent question for these times.

What do Warriors think? All answers are welcome, however given the nature of the thread, the sillier they are the better.

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Kay King

5 years ago

If you expel them - they'll go home...and that won't work.

Best idea I've seen is to hold a 'tornado drill' and have the kids rush to basement...then lock the door and have a glass or two of wine before you unlock the door and give the 'all clear'.

Sounded like a plan to me.

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lanfear63

5 years ago

I watched so many Whitacre presentations online I got Claudevid 19

Prince Charles (who has recovered) had the Crowner virus.

Long distance running is making a comeback

The safest job in the world is currently Astronaut training.

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tagiscom

5 years ago

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Archimedes-The Truth Seekers Forum..

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Kay King

5 years ago

Now that we know who the essential workers are, explain to me why Professional Athletes make so much money if they are basically useless when it matters?

Filed under 'you can't make this stuff up'...and under 'can't even believe your eyes':

CBS News has admitted that alarming footage of an overflowing ward used during a report on the coronavirus crisis in Big Apple hospitals was actually shot in Italy.

Are they hiring athletes now?

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socialentry

Banned 5 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

Now that we know who the essential workers are, explain to me why Professional Athletes make so much money if they are basically useless when it matters?

Filed under 'you can't make this stuff up'...and under 'can't even believe your eyes':

Are they hiring athletes now?

My hometown has just decreed that liquor stores were to be considered essential businesseses.

Also CNN once presented footage from Call of Duty as footage from the Syrian civil war.

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

Flaunting your wealth in 2019:

Flaunting your wealth in 2020:

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

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Kay King

5 years ago

They say you can't fix stupid - turns out you can't quarantine it, either.

2020 was an unusual Leapyear - February was 29 days long and March lasted 5 years....

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allegandro

5 years ago

�-иття п�-д час карантину - YouTube

The text in the video means something like "2minutes later"

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Meow!

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Kay King

5 years ago

Shout out to all those parents who didn't teach their kids respect and now are stuck at home with the little sh**s.

So many parents are now learning the problem wasn't the teacher after all.

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Dan Riffle

5 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

Shout out to all those parents who didn't teach their kids respect and now are stuck at home with the little sh**s.

So many parents are now learning the problem wasn't the teacher after all.

My son, all of 4, told me yesterday that he is smarter than me.

I said, "whatever, buddy, I can count to 100."

His response? "Pish. I can count to 22."

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whateverpedia 5 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

I said, "whatever, buddy, I can count to 100."

His response? "Pish. I can count to 22."

It's no wonder he said that. No-one would ever believe a banker can count higher than a 4 year old.
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- lanfear63 5 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by whateverpedia
  
  It's no wonder he said that. No-one would ever believe a banker can count higher than a 4 year old.
  
  "It's no wonder he said that. No-one would ever believe a banker can be shorter than a 4 year old"
  
  Fixed
  
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Kay King

5 years ago

And the problem is - you can't argue with a 4 yr olds logic.... You will lose, badly.

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One secret to happiness is to let every situation be

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Dan Riffle 5 years ago

Originally Posted by whateverpedia

It's no wonder he said that. No-one would ever believe a banker can count higher than a 4 year old.

Originally Posted by Kay King

And the problem is - you can't argue with a 4 yr olds logic.... You will lose, badly.

How right you are.
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Dan Riffle

5 years ago

I'll just leave this here for my fellow Ohioans:

https://youtu.be/awc0blNamSo

That seems about right for Husted....

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qwikaddotcom

5 years ago

Only in Florida

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whateverpedia 5 years ago

Originally Posted by qwikaddotcom

Only in Florida

He looks like a trustworthy guy.
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Kay King

5 years ago

When you are in a dark place, you may start to think you've been buried.

But, perhaps you've been planted.

Bloom.

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One secret to happiness is to let every situation be

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Kay King

5 years ago

For those people who wanted a world with no vaccines....

Welcome to a world without ONE vaccine.

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Princess Balestra

5 years ago

For lovers of Dickcheese Stoopido ...

Saaahry -- games's OVAH.

*planetary applause, bcs*

(as an etoinal hoppertimist, that my take on silvah linin')

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

An acquaintance forwarded me a copy of this email: (CAUTION - contains strong, but not gratuitous language.)

I just received this message from the CDC

***URGENT***
We are issuing and URGENT and IMMEDIATE call to duty for ALL homeopaths, naturopaths, chiropractors, acupuncturists, reiki masters, crystal healers, health coaches, essential oil salespeople, supplement hawkers, and all other 'alt-med' quacks who make their living talking shit about real health care professionals and evidence-based medicine.

It's time to put your fvcking money where your big mouths are and report down to your nearest ED. If we don't see you, we fully expect that you'll all be just shutting the fvck up then, forever.

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allegandro

5 years ago

Let's keep it peaceful...

SviBi на карантин�- - правда!

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Kay King

5 years ago

Whatty - I love that one....those are the folks that always claim LATER they 'had an answer'....sure they do.

Funny one today in my state (ohio) - counties in Ohio that share a border iwth Pennsylvania may no longer sell liquor to people with PA licenses.

Unlike other states, Pennsylvania listed liquor stores as 'non-essential' so those folks are coming across the states line to buy booze....of course they can still get it but will have to go farther than 1-2 counties from the line.So you got alkies driving to get booze - then drinking it on the drive home?

It does seem there are some petty bureaucrats who are enjoying wielding 'power' a little too much- whether it makes sense or not. Most states allowed liquor stores and pot dispensaries to stay open, and closed gun shops. It was funny watching a talkig head predicting 'an uproar' about gun shops closing...but there was no real uproad.

If you don't have a gun by now...oh well. My son says there are two kinds of people - gun owners...and targets...

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kenmichaels 5 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

If you don't have a gun by now...oh well. My son says there are two kinds of people - gun owners...and targets...

Hahahahahahah

my kids already pretty good with a plinker.
I was better - way better - by his age. 10
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Kay King

5 years ago

LIQUOR

The glue holding this sh**show together.

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Odahh 5 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

LIQUOR

The glue holding this sh**show together.

its a real bad idea to buy enough beer and jack danials for two weeks..tried that two weeks ago ..ran out of beer 5 days later..
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lanfear63

5 years ago

Lol So it's a Cellular Virus..Well it infects cells don't it?

"TV presenter Eamonn Holmes is at the centre of a controversy after casting doubt on media outlets that debunk the myth that 5G causes coronavirus.

"What I don't accept is mainstream media immediately slapping that down as not true when they don't know it's not true," the ITV This Morning host said.

"It's very easy to say it is not true because it suits the state narrative."

He was criticised on social media and by scientists who have dismissed the theories as "complete rubbish"."

Source: https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-52270736

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lanfear63

5 years ago

Two aliens are all set to abduct a man from his bedroom. Just as they were about to levitate him they see he is awake. One of the aliens telepathically broadcasts to him: "Aren't you scared?" "No" says the man: "I am glad that I will be able to get out of the house!"

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TobiMDD

5 years ago

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A Heroic Tale of 64 Hours Leading to Online Triumph

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

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kenmichaels

5 years ago

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

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Frank Donovan

5 years ago

A locked-down librarian must have had fun arranging this bookshelf:

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

The lockdown is taking ts toll:

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Medon 5 years ago

Originally Posted by whateverpedia

The lockdown is taking ts toll:

He he he, they must be wondering whether human beings processors have ceased functioning.
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Kay King

5 years ago

Home isolation has its ups and downs.
One day you're flying high and
cleaning the baseboards with a q-tip,
and the next day you're
drinking tequila
and watching squirrels
out the window.
There's no in between.

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Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog

***

One secret to happiness is to let every situation be

what it is instead of what you think it should be.

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

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Kay King 5 years ago

Well, if we do all go pfffft in 10 years or so as some have predicted....good to know nature will take over where we left left off - and probably do a better job of it.
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One secret to happiness is to let every situation be
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DWolfe 5 years ago

Animals taking over the streets during lock down

Penguins on the loose in SA's empty streets -...
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DWolfe 5 years ago

Sleeping Lions during lock down [ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maLs9Jy6rR8"]Lions taking advantage of lockdown sleeping on roads in South Africa
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Kay King 5 years ago

You want a mask??? (no affiliation - just appreciation)

https://www.rosesunny.com/collection...-headwear-3d-1
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Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog
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One secret to happiness is to let every situation be
what it is instead of what you think it should be.
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- kenmichaels 5 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Kay King
  
  You want a mask??? (no affiliation - just appreciation)
  
  https://www.rosesunny.com/collection...-headwear-3d-1
  
  Funny. We all have drawers full of those for hunting, skiing - just going out in the winter.
  
  BUT the #1 rule my entire life has always been.
  
  Don't forget to take it off when you go into a store. People freak!
  It will be tough not to rip it off as I walk in
  
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Kay King 5 years ago

I'm drinking quarantine coffee. It's just like coffee but it has Margarita in it, and also no coffee.

I thought it was hilarious that I ordered 'delivered groceries' and instead of 3 lbs of bananas.....my 'shopper' added ONE banana. All week I've been wondering if there are really people who buy ONE banana. A friend topped me - she ordered 2 lbs of green beans....and in her order was a plastic produce bag with ONE green bean. She said it was a very nice green bean - was reasonable as the charge was .02 but she was a bit worried about the stress levels of those filling orders.
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One secret to happiness is to let every situation be
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Kay King 5 years ago

If your path demands you to walk through Hell,

Walk as if you own the place.
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One secret to happiness is to let every situation be
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Kay King 5 years ago

If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a distillery to homeschool one.
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One secret to happiness is to let every situation be
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- Odahh 5 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Kay King
  
  If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a distillery to homeschool one.
  
  that is fine if the kids can't go out and play might as well let them get drunk in their bedrooms
  
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  kenmichaels 5 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Odahh
  
  that is fine if the kids can't go out and play might as well let them get drunk in their bedrooms
  
  Bedroom? Nahh keep them where you can see them.
  It's guaranteed entertainment.
  
  Record it and then you have years of embarrassing blackmail material.
  
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Kay King 5 years ago

THE END DATE OF QUARANTINE WAS JUST ANNOUNCED:

Octembruary 47th

-----------------------------

Please stop warning people not to ingest disinfectant. We should just let this one play out.
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Kay King 5 years ago

I was in a DVD store and bought ONE DVD

Do you have it memorized? THIS is what 'streaming video' was created for.
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Kay King 5 years ago

Question for my friends who know about Essential Oils:

Which essential oil calms housebound family members down? Chloroform? It is chloroform, isn't it?

-------------------

POLL:

ARE YOU DRINKING MORE WHILE IN LOCKDOWN?

[__] Yes

[__] No

X
---------------------------------------
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Kay King 5 years ago

The text below isn't funny but it it insightful...I don't know who wrote the original but I added a bit to it. It's a good overview - at least for those in the US. Probably not that much different for other countries as well.

Perspective:

WE ARE NOT IN THE SAME BOAT....

I heard that we are all in the same boat, but it's not like that. We are in the same storm, but not in the same boat. Your ship could be shipwrecked and mine might not be. Or vice versa.

For some, quarantine is optimal. A moment of reflection, of re-connection, easy in flip flops, with a cocktail or coffee. For others, this is a desperate financial and family crisis.

For some that live alone, they're facing endless loneliness. For others, it is peace, rest and time with mother, father, sons & daughters.

With the $600 weekly increase in unemployment (USA) some are bringing in more money to their households than when they were working. Others are working more hours for less money due to pay cuts or loss in sales. Some families of 4 just received $3400 from the stimulus while other families of 4 saw $0.

Some were concerned about getting the kids favorite candy for Easter while others worried if there would be enough bread, milk and eggs to feed everyone for the weekend.

Some want to go back to work because they don't qualify for unemployment and are running out of money. Others want to arrest (or shoot) those who break the quarantine.

Some parents at home spend 2-3 hrs/day helping their child with online schooling while other parents spend 2-3 hrs/day on top of a 10-12 hr workday.

Some have experienced the near death of the virus, some have already lost a loved one to the virus or are worried their loved ones won't survive. Others don't think it's a big deal.

Some have faith and expect miracles; some are optimistic and think everything will be OK in time; others say the worst is yet to come.. All believe they are right.

Friends, we are not in the same boat. This is a time when our perceptions, needs and our realities are completely different.

Each of us will emerge, in our own way, from this storm. It is critical for us to see beyond our own circumstances...not just to look...but to SEE that we are in different boats experiencing a variety of journeys.

Realize that and show tolerance. Accept that - and be kind.
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One secret to happiness is to let every situation be
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Frank Donovan 5 years ago

Whatty's last few posts haven't shown up for me in Firefox. Anyone else with that problem?
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- Dan Riffle 5 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Frank Donovan
  
  Whatty's last few posts haven't shown up for me in Firefox. Anyone else with that problem?
  
  Problem?! Try blessing.
  
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  Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.
  
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- whateverpedia 5 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Frank Donovan
  
  Whatty's last few posts haven't shown up for me in Firefox. Anyone else with that problem?
  
  Let's see how this works out for you
  
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  Frank Donovan 5 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by whateverpedia
  
  Let's see how this works out for you
  
  Thanks. Not sure what you did, but they showed up fine.
  
  Can't believe Kay called you an ozziemoron.
  
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  whateverpedia 5 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Frank Donovan
  
  Thanks. Not sure what you did, but they showed up fine.
  
  The original images were posted using the link from Twitter, which can be a bit temperamental as to what shows up and what doesn't.
  
  I uploaded them to Post Image, and then used the links they provide.
  
  Voila!
  
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- whateverpedia 5 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Frank Donovan
  
  Whatty's last few posts haven't shown up for me in Firefox. Anyone else with that problem?
  
  I'm having problems as well, although I'm using Chrome. The problem is that Riffle's posts DO show up.
  
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  lanfear63 5 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by whateverpedia
  
  I'm having problems as well, although I'm using Chrome. The problem is that Riffle's posts DO show up.
  
  I know, I've been seeing ones from Claude as well. Spam filters obviously not working
  
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Kay King 5 years ago

#75, 77, 80 show for me and I'm in firefox. I did just update firefox yesterday though - due to problems viewing a couple sites.
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Frank Donovan 5 years ago

Strange. I'm using the latest version - maybe it's a security issue.

Or it's filtering out Aussie humour.
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- lanfear63 5 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Frank Donovan
  
  Strange. I'm using the latest version - maybe it's a security issue.
  
  Or it's filtering out Aussie humour.
  
  And you'r complaining?
  
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Kay King 5 years ago

filtering out Aussie humour.

Ahhhh, Frank made an oxymoron....
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Jeffery 5 years ago
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Kay King

5 years ago

it is sad that people have to be warned not to consume disinfectants. By the way, don't stick a cactus up your a** either. Just sayin....

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

By the way, don't stick a cactus up your a** either. Just sayin....

Now she tells us...

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lanfear63

5 years ago

Originally Posted by whateverpedia

Now she tells us...

Claude & Dan engage in such activities, they are a Prickly Pair.

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whateverpedia 5 years ago

Originally Posted by lanfear63

Claude & Dan engage in such activities, they are a Prickly Pair.

You have misheard that description. The correct description is "a pair of pr!cks"
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Jeffery 5 years ago

and people said the same thing about Einstein and Edison. There are always going to be people that had a rough start yet they surprise us with break-throughs because people are just...

people.
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Kay King 5 years ago

I never realized just how many different '-ologists' there are...though some like proctologists are sitting this pandemic out.
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- whateverpedia 5 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Kay King
  
  I never realized just how many different '-ologists' there are...though some like proctologists are sitting this pandemic out.
  
  Why are proctologists the butt of a lot of jokes? Seems to me they're getting a bum deal.
  
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Profit Traveler

Banned 5 years ago

Can you now imagine the impact on SONG WRITING?

2 of my fav uplifting classics....

Would there have been a "Lean On Me" in this era?

What about Reach Out and Touch Somebody's Hand?

What will love songs be like now?

Let's get Tested Together Baby...every body sing.

Remember that music video where the guy just goes around hugging people on the street?

He would get punched in the face or arrested now.

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lanfear63

5 years ago

Originally Posted by Profit Traveler

Can you now imagine the impact on SONG WRITING?

2 of my fav uplifting classics....

Would there have been a "Lean On Me" in this era?

What about Reach Out and Touch Somebody's Hand?

What will love songs be like now?

Let's get Tested Together Baby...every body sing.

Remember that music video where the guy just goes around hugging people on the street?

He would get punched in the face or arrested now.

"Remember that music video where the guy just goes around hugging people on the street? He would get punched in the face or arrested now"

I never knew Dan Riffle made a music video

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Kay King

5 years ago

It is those FREEDOMS that allow them to do that...that's th point. We are seeing 'enforcement' of laws o social distancing' - and those are not LAWS.

I predict within another week or two - govs are going to find it difficult to keep their states locked down.

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Odahh

5 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

It is those FREEDOMS that allow them to do that...that's th point. We are seeing 'enforcement' of laws o social distancing' - and those are not LAWS.

I predict within another week or two - govs are going to find it difficult to keep their states locked down.

i agree with you .. but the cult of safety is in charge right now .. you may have seen me use that phrase in the past ..but right now the constitution has been tossed out ..and your not allowed topractice the freedoms you think you have .. if they risk you may catch a cold ..

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DWolfe 5 years ago

Originally Posted by Odahh

i agree with you .. but the cult of safety is in charge right now .. you may have seen me use that phrase ....

Why come into a thread that is suppose to lighten the place up and start with the complaining ?
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- Odahh 5 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by DWolfe
  
  Why come into a thread that is suppose to lighten the place up and start with the complaining ?
  
  I actually just woke up feeling a little guilty about that wondering how can I shift from the cloud to the silver lining .
  
  One of the easiest ways for they government to get people to do something is to try and pass laws against them doing it or tell them not to do it.
  
  So as this start opening up again you will see people far friendlier to each other.
  
  Now what do we replace the handshake with..I was already not a fan of shaking hands ..what was that greeting in demolition man
  
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socialentry Banned 5 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

It is those FREEDOMS that allow them to do that...that's th point. We are seeing 'enforcement' of laws o social distancing' - and those are not LAWS.

A measure of social shaming seems preferable to a full fledged police response?
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Kay King 5 years ago

I've seen recommendations to 'bump elbows' which looks pretty 'high-school-jockish' to me. I've posted that i'm happy the 'hugging a new person' bit may be over as I never liked it.

Why can't people just make eye contact and say hello? What is the obsession with touching whenever you meet someone?

If we are going to be wearing masks for a while - our eyes are the only expressive thing new people will see - making eye contact will be important.
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- Odahh 5 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Kay King
  
  I
  If we are going to be wearing masks for a while - our eyes are the only expressive thing new people will see - making eye contact will be important.
  
  hopefully one thing wearing mask stops for a while is the conversations people have on their cellphones ..way too loud about extra personal matters you don't really want to hear..
  
  honestly about hanshaking i have become a non fan of it over the last several years traveling..and watching poor handwashing practices or just a lack of ways to adequately dry hands ..
  
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Kay King 5 years ago

unshacklability!

Read that as 'unshackupability' - got confused and had to start over...
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- Princess Balestra 5 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Kay King
  
  Read that as 'unshackupability' - got confused and hard to start over...
  
  Turns out Elvis suffered from unshookupability for a brief few months durin' the early 60s.
  
  Reports indicate it was a kinda stage fright, but all Elvis knew was ... I can't do that thing with my pelvis no more.
  
  So his record company hired a coupla tennis gals to help out.
  
  They were twins, jus' startin' out on the circuit as a ladies' doubles team.
  
  Anyhoo, deal with the twins was to get Elvis "started up" jus' like mechanics gotta do fancy stuff to get an old car gowin'.
  
  So they would wait backstage with Elvis, an' jus' before he went on, the oldest gal would pull his pants down an' start whackin' on his ass with her racquet while her sistah shook him by the shoulders.
  
  Kinda helped to kickstart the famous gyrations an' keep Elvis in the loop as acts like the Beatles an' the Beach Boys sought to steal his crown.
  
  Visitors to Graceland can twang the strings on all the gals' racquets for an extra $50 per visit, an' occasionally the promo team let you feel the few remainin' balls The King nevah stuffed down his pants aftah he'd been regyrated.
  
  Tellya, there is so much history in popular culchah, an' in these times of darkness, the undiscovered stories behind the celebrity myths can be a real source of inspiration.
  
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Kay King

5 years ago

OK - enough of this. i put on my trusty mask and ventured out into the wilds of grocery shopping today.

About 80% of the people in the two stores I visited were wearing masks. I found myself wondering what someone might say if i wore a Lone Ranger type mask instaad of this bottom of the face thingie.

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Odahh

5 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

OK - enough of this. i put on my trusty mask and ventured out into the wilds of grocery shopping today.

About 80% of the people in the two stores I visited were wearing masks. I found myself wondering what someone might say if i wore a Lone Ranger type mask instaad of this bottom of the face thingie.

at this point almost anything that qualifies as a mask will do ..if mask become a long term thing a lot more personality and style will start showing up on masks ..especially once people spend more time in public ..

and on a different note i think elon musk just stepp into crazy land when naming the new child ..i guess naming the kidd f#$K california might be the back up for paperwork

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lanfear63

5 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

OK - enough of this. i put on my trusty mask and ventured out into the wilds of grocery shopping today.

About 80% of the people in the two stores I visited were wearing masks. I found myself wondering what someone might say if i wore a Lone Ranger type mask instaad of this bottom of the face thingie.

When the assistant asks how you would like to pay, you should say "Hi Ho Silver"

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myob 5 years ago

Some places where masks are mandatory, face coverings are forbidden.

France still bans face coverings even after making masks mandatory
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Kay King

5 years ago

It doesn't matter what that kid is named - he'll just be known as 'rich kid' and probably as 'rich nerd'....I'm just going to call him Fred.

Speaking of idiots - i think I qualify. You know how you can't get those stupid produce bags to open so you can put your lettuce or whatever in? The normal 'thingie' is to touch your finger to your tongue to get traction to open that little bag. I forgot (twice!) - it doesn't work when you have a mask on. You know those times when you look around to see if anyone noticed?

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Odahh

5 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

It doesn't matter what that kid is named - he'll just be known as 'rich kid' and probably as 'rich nerd'....I'm just going to call him Fred.

Speaking of idiots - i think I qualify. You know how you can't get those stupid produce bags to open so you can put your lettuce or whatever in? The normal 'thingie' is to touch your finger to your tongue to get traction to open that little bag. I forgot (twice!) - it doesn't work when you have a mask on. You know those times when you look around to see if anyone noticed?

do us pull the bags from the roll with your hands or do you use the egde most have to help seperate the bags ..i can usually use that to get bags open .. if i seperate the bag from the roll and it isn't open it is trash and i just get another bag from the roll ..

at least you bother opening the bags after you get them off the roll of bags ,

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Jeffery

5 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

It doesn't matter what that kid is named - he'll just be known as 'rich kid' and probably as 'rich nerd'....I'm just going to call him Fred.

Speaking of idiots - i think I qualify. You know how you can't get those stupid produce bags to open so you can put your lettuce or whatever in? The normal 'thingie' is to touch your finger to your tongue to get traction to open that little bag. I forgot (twice!) - it doesn't work when you have a mask on. You know those times when you look around to see if anyone noticed?

What I do is grasp the place where the bag opens with my thumb and middle finger and kind of snap my fingers.

When that doesn't work I just snatch a little ol' ladies bag of goodies from her cart when she isn't looking.

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Profit Traveler

Banned 5 years ago

It was hard for me to wake up and smile but then I realized that alot of what was making me frown was The Stupid Movement.

But then I realized that COVID takes care of The Stupid.

I am all smiles.

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Odahh

5 years ago

Originally Posted by Profit Traveler

It was hard for me to wake up and smile but then I realized that alot of what was making me frown was The Stupid Movement.

But then I realized that COVID takes care of The Stupid.

I am all smiles.

no this dosen't help with the epidemic of stupid it just makes it worse .. remember stupid people breed a lot faster than smart people .. or responsible people .

and we reward stupid far more than we reward smart ..

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Profit Traveler

Banned 5 years ago

Originally Posted by Odahh

no this dosen't help with the epidemic of stupid it just makes it worse .. remember stupid people breed a lot faster than smart people .. or responsible people .

and we reward stupid far more than we reward smart ..

We have been thru a very surreal period past 3.5 years but reality dictates that the shiznit is really about to hit the fan in coming months.

Unprecedented will be an understatement.

But there will be some funny..I see it every day with Twitter. Mostly in reactions to the event of the day.

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socialentry

Banned 5 years ago

Originally Posted by Profit Traveler

We have been thru a very surreal period past 3.5 years but reality dictates that the shiznit is really about to hit the fan in coming months.

Unprecedented will be an understatement.

Tidus's laugh - YouTube

Hmmmmmm.... How about...

The Spanish Flu
the bubonic plague
The Mongol invasions.
The Fall of the Roman Empire.
The Dark Ages
World War II
World War I
European Imperialism
The disappearance of the dinosaurs
The Armenian genocide
The Cultural Revolution

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Profit Traveler

Banned 5 years ago

Originally Posted by socialentry

Tidus's laugh - YouTube

Hmmmmmm.... How about...

The Spanish Flu
the bubonic plague
The Mongol invasions.
The Fall of the Roman Empire.
The Dark Ages
World War II
World War I
European Imperialism
The disappearance of the dinosaurs
The Armenian genocide
The Cultural Revolution

Couldn't get Tickets for those...All Sold Out.

But I will witness personally, the most powerful on the planet, backed into a corner.

Front Row Seats.

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Profit Traveler Banned 5 years ago

I was having such a good time searching for a meme I got too lazy to upload the images but your imaginations will do just fine...

When your Hair Dresser is Closed but your Dog Groomer has a Cancellation.

Funny Woman with Poodle Hairdo Pic.

**************

Picture of woman with angry excited look and pointing the Finger..
You Said You Were Sick!

Pic of a cool and calm cat with Case of Beer
I said I had a Case of Corona.

*****************

When you hear your neighbor COUGH...
Pic of Terrified Baby Toddler.

Then you smell WEED.
Happy Baby Pic!

*******************

Latest Episode of Pawn Stars Valuation...
The Owner has that look on his face like not another one of these...

The "I got the goods look" on The Proud Person trying to Pawn his Treasure...
Huge Pack of Toilet Paper and Case of Hand Sanitizer
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Kay King

5 years ago

...and to think we used to EAT cake after someone had blown on it. Good times.

---------

Are we being 'conditioned' to think that people who stand up for their freedoms are selfish, extreme, irresponsible, hateful, irrational and lawless???

--------

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kenmichaels

5 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

...and to think we used to EAT cake after someone had blown on it. Good times.

---------

Are we being 'conditioned' to think that people who stand up for their freedoms are selfish, extreme, irresponsible, hateful, irrational and lawless???

--------

Interesting thought.

...Upon reflection, no.

I see the daily reminder that most people, do respect, cherish and value their elders.

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Odahh

5 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

...and to think we used to EAT cake after someone had blown on it. Good times.

---------

Are we being 'conditioned' to think that people who stand up for their freedoms are selfish, extreme, irresponsible, hateful, irrational and lawless???

--------

it not standing up fo freedom .. its small businesses owners .. saying they need to work to earn money and pay our rents for businesses and our families home and feed our kids ..

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

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agmccall

5 years ago

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"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." Thomas Edison

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

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Signature

Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

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kenmichaels

5 years ago

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Profit Traveler

Banned 5 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

We have a couple threads on the current global pandemic - and both threads have thoughtful and interesting comments and ideas.

What I've noticed as this goes on is the ability of people to laugh at their own serious circumstances. No, a pandemic is not funny. People are be harmed and our hearts go out to everyone affected.

But we still have the spirit to laugh - and perhaps there is nothing that brings out the humor in people as much as a serious crisis. If you can't solve it today - at least you can laugh at it for a bit.

So - post your funny stories, or positive-thinking sayings - let's share some humor as we go through this difficult time together....

I'll start with a story sent to me by a friend:

Smile Break was exactly what the doctor ordered thanks!

On the day before lock down quarantine here overseas I did not fully grasp what was in store.

I was in a DVD store and bought ONE DVD

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kenmichaels

5 years ago

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Medon

5 years ago

All the memes here are fun and interesting. Post more good people.

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

Thanks

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kenmichaels

5 years ago

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

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VirtualVeena

5 years ago

There is a lot of this kind of Coronavirus humor going around on the net.

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Achchaa

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kenmichaels

5 years ago

I'm using WF - FF's brother and I see Whatty's posts

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

This is what happens when talented people suddenly find themselves with a lot of time on my hands:

Coronavirus Rhapsody (based on Bohemian Rhapsody)...

Jolene Lockdown Parody - YouTube

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

The media are quite rightly criticised for some of the crap they peddle, however if they picking up important scoops like this, its future is assured*.

* Assured of being very bleak.

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DABK

5 years ago

You know, submarines fit in caves and under pyramids, and many other places. I once hid a blue and red one under the dirty clothes in the hamper in the laundry room. Took them 2 hours to find it. If only I had known about the sea!

Originally Posted by whateverpedia

The media are quite rightly criticised for some of the crap they peddle, however if they picking up important scoops like this, its future is assured*.

* Assured of being very bleak.

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Kay King

5 years ago

Grocery shopping in a mask is a weird experience...the mask starts bugging me and my train of thought goes chugging down the tracks. I hate it when i mean to buy seedless grapes and reaching for them I accidentally get, you know, Oreos.

darn mask

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lanfear63

5 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

Grocery shopping in a mask is a weird experience...the mask starts bugging me and my train of thought goes chugging down the tracks. I hate it when i mean to buy seedless grapes and reaching for them I accidentally get, you know, Oreos.

darn mask

Same problem, reach out for Lean Cuisine and end up with Hungry Man

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Profit Traveler Banned 5 years ago

"I Tested Positively toward Negative"

Comedy Gold.
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Kay King

5 years ago

So -

I was standing outdoors all by myself - far away from everyone else.

A lady walked up to me and as she walked past she said "No mask?"

I said "no panties either".

That shut her up. Don't play with me, Karen....

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

I said "no panties either".

I see Princess Balestra's influence is spreading far and wide.

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Kay King 5 years ago

She's contagious.
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DWolfe

5 years ago

Covid-19 is an AMAZING virus. Key features:

- it's a smart virus, highly virulent in parks, gyms, churches and schools, the gym and on beaches...

- has no effect on the thousands of employees who work at Kmart, Walmart, Target, Lowes Home Depot.... and especially in liquor stores...

- the virus seems to target mostly mom and dad businesses who always have much fewer customers walk through their doors...

- the virus also targets our food chain, since it managed to close meat packing companies, and forced farmers to discard their harvest in record time...

- construction and supermarket workers have a natural immunity, but they obviously still need to be vaccinated...

- police uniforms hold the cure for the virus... no social distancing, not even masks are needed, as long as you wear a police uniform...

- it doesn't affect children, except for a few who got it... same with animals...

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agmccall

5 years ago

Originally Posted by DWolfe

Covid-19 is an AMAZING virus. Key features:

- it's a smart virus, highly virulent in parks, gyms, churches and schools, the gym and on beaches...

- has no effect on the thousands of employees who work at Kmart, Walmart, Target, Lowes Home Depot.... and especially in liquor stores...

- the virus seems to target mostly mom and dad businesses who always have much fewer customers walk through their doors...

- the virus also targets our food chain, since it managed to close meat packing companies, and forced farmers to discard their harvest in record time...

- construction and supermarket workers have a natural immunity, but they obviously still need to be vaccinated...

- police uniforms hold the cure for the virus... no social distancing, not even masks are needed, as long as you wear a police uniform...

- it doesn't affect children, except for a few who got it... same with animals...

It also does not affect people who go to prominent congressmen funerals or rioters and looters. But it reaks havoc on people that go to parties and church

al

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Profit Traveler

Banned 5 years ago

[DELETED]

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Mark Singletary

5 years ago

Originally Posted by Profit Traveler

It amazes me hearing always about rioters and looters but never for what reason they are rioting.

That's because it 100% doesn't matter the reason. 50 people inside or outside are 50 people. If those people can't go to church (inside or out) and sing because it's too dangerous, then the same 50 people shouldn't be able to chant, yell, scream, etc. at another gathering.

Besides we're talking about the virus and not any reasons for the gatherings. And the virus doesn't know what the intent of a group is, whether it's to worship, protest, mourn, play, celebrate, get married, eat BBQ, or whatever else.

If we do look at reasons and make exceptions for good causes, then the virus is truly not as dangerous as they say because it doesn't know and will infect and kill regardless of any good causes. So, all rules should be dropped. Or, all rules should be enforced and be fair--50 people are 50 people.

There was a recent case where a couple wanted to get married in New York. They choose a resort or restaurant to have the wedding. The request was denied by the government because of a limit on weddings.

What's interesting is that the restaurant was open and people could eat there following the rules. The bride and groom set out a plan that they would require all guests to socially distance, wear masks, etc. exactly like the rules for the restaurant. They were not going to dance or do anything that would break the rules. The number of expected guests was less than the restaurant was allowed to have at any given time.

Yet, still denied.

Why? The virus doesn't know if those 50 socially distanced, mask wearing people are eating at a restaurant (okay) or if those same people doing the same things were attending a wedding (not okay).

But the wedding had to be put off while people go to the same restaurant every day to eat.

Fair? I don't think so.

Mark

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Profit Traveler

Banned 5 years ago

Originally Posted by Mark Singletary

That's because it 100% doesn't matter the reason. 50 people inside or outside are 50 people. If those people can't go to church (inside or out) and sing because it's too dangerous, then the same 50 people shouldn't be able to chant, yell, scream, etc. at another gathering.

Besides we're talking about the virus and not any reasons for the gatherings. And the virus doesn't know what the intent of a group is, whether it's to worship, protest, mourn, play, celebrate, get married, eat BBQ, or whatever else.

If we do look at reasons and make exceptions for good causes, then the virus is truly not as dangerous as they say because it doesn't know and will infect and kill regardless of any good causes. So, all rules should be dropped. Or, all rules should be enforced and be fair--50 people are 50 people.

There was a recent case where a couple wanted to get married in New York. They choose a resort or restaurant to have the wedding. The request was denied by the government because of a limit on weddings.

What's interesting is that the restaurant was open and people could eat there following the rules. The bride and groom set out a plan that they would require all guests to socially distance, wear masks, etc. exactly like the rules for the restaurant. They were not going to dance or do anything that would break the rules. The number of expected guests was less than the restaurant was allowed to have at any given time.

Yet, still denied.

Why? The virus doesn't know if those 50 socially distanced, mask wearing people are eating at a restaurant (okay) or if those same people doing the same things were attending a wedding (not okay).

But the wedding had to be put off while people go to the same restaurant every day to eat.

Fair? I don't think so.

Mark

This is the memes thread so I want to keep it light.

You sound like a protestor fighting for the right of getting more people infected and killed. All "Just Re Openers" do.

"all the rules"? That is the difference between Countries experiencing some success and a Country that has people pulling guns out for wearing a mask and losing the battle on Coronavirus.

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Mark Singletary

5 years ago

You know what's light and funny? I knew what your reaction would be.

You complain that some people have fact filters.

Originally Posted by Profit Traveler

People certainly have facts filters in Coronavirus Era.

I share a fact that always is and always will be a fact: 50 people are 50 people, and the virus doesn't know any different.

And, since you apparently can't handle facts that don't match your narrative, you turn your answer into a virtue signaling personal attack where you take one tidbit out of context and make me sound like a monster.

Originally Posted by Profit Traveler

You sound like a protestor fighting for the right of getting more people infected and killed. All "Just Re Openers" do.

"all the rules"? That is the difference between Countries experiencing some success and a Country that has people pulling guns out for wearing a mask and losing the battle on Coronavirus.

You guys don't understand one of the reasons some people go crazy about the masks and rules and rebel is because of exactly what I'm talking about.

Another example: Why can city run gyms operate in San Francisco but not private ones? The virus protects city employees is that it?

Fun times.

Mark

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Princess Balestra

5 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

So -

I was standing outdoors all by myself - far away from everyone else.

A lady walked up to me and as she walked past she said "No mask?"

I said "no panties either".

That shut her up. Don't play with me, Karen....

Late in here on the current nooz and views from this hot, hot post.

Which is a shame bcs it has a positive tone to boop up our spirits in these times of pseudo-apocalyptic misery.

Thing is, I darn near had to wear my panties as a mask las' week.

I went out without my stock floral array an' found musself badly needin' emergency chocolate from the store.

I ain't no whale blubbah booty type, so anythin' I throw on undah my jeans won't evah make like no sack -- plus it is no probs to roll the sides into EZ-fit straps for the ears.

Jus' a li'l oregano foldin', an' most any gal could have a functional mask in minutes.

Problem was ... I had lace-up boots on, which made my exit strategy kinda cumbersum.

Plus also, sum old guy with a weirdo dog was eyein' me up as I tested my zippah while formulatin' my mastah plan.

But ain't it weird how monster obstacles in your path can quickly turn to slooshins?

See, I figure bcs I got plenty more panties at home ... an' I really needed chocolate bad ...prolly I could whip 'em off without no clumsy disrobin'.

This is when I discovered panties are made of much stronger fabric than I evah knoo.

So I headed for the nearest store sellin' scissors.

Can you see the error in my thinkin' here?

Tellya, next time I venture out ima pack spare panties less'n I forget my mask.

Take that for practical smarts, Einstein.

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Jeffery

5 years ago

Originally Posted by Princess Balestra

Late in here on the current nooz and views from this hot, hot post.

Which is a shame bcs it has a positive tone to boop up our spirits in these times of pseudo-apocalyptic misery.

Thing is, I darn near had to wear my panties as a mask las' week.

I went out without my stock floral array an' found musself badly needin' emergency chocolate from the store.

I ain't no whale blubbah booty type, so anythin' I throw on undah my jeans won't evah make like no sack -- plus it is no probs to roll the sides into EZ-fit straps for the ears.

Jus' a li'l oregano foldin', an' most any gal could have a functional mask in minutes.

Problem was ... I had lace-up boots on, which made my exit strategy kinda cumbersum.

Plus also, sum old guy with a weirdo dog was eyein' me up as I tested my zippah while formulatin' my mastah plan.

But ain't it weird how monster obstacles in your path can quickly turn to slooshins?

See, I figure bcs I got plenty more panties at home ... an' I really needed chocolate bad ...prolly I could whip 'em off without no clumsy disrobin'.

This is when I discovered panties are made of much stronger fabric than I evah knoo.

So I headed for the nearest store sellin' scissors.

Can you see the error in my thinkin' here?

Tellya, next time I venture out ima pack spare panties less'n I forget my mask.

Take that for practical smarts, Einstein.

You could also ask to borrow someone else's panties.

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Princess Balestra

5 years ago

*Phew*

For a moment there, I figured Whatto had been gobbled by them Oz spidahz.

Now evrywan is home, they can bust outta the toilet way more regulah an' make with the arachnidsy SLAYIN'.

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kenmichaels

5 years ago

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Selling Ain't for Sissies!

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kenmichaels

5 years ago

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Selling Ain't for Sissies!

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socialentry

Banned 5 years ago

abbahahahahhahahaha: https://www.economist.com/img/b/1280...9_WWD000_0.jpg

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Jeffery

5 years ago

I just spit in my hand and say "Put it there partner."

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lanfear63 5 years ago

Originally Posted by Jeffery

I just spit in my hand and say "Put it there partner."

Never do that if you meet Claude
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Odahh 5 years ago

Originally Posted by Jeffery

I just spit in my hand and say "Put it there partner."

after eating a rack of ribs and some bbq chicken ..so your hands are all kinds of messy ..
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- Jeffery 5 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Odahh
  
  after eating a rack of ribs and some bbq chicken ..so your hands are all kinds of messy ..
  
  Finger Licking Good.
  
  Originally Posted by Odahh
  
  after eating a Possum and some Overly Buttered Biscuits ..so your hands are all kinds of messy ..
  
  and that too.
  
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Princess Balestra

5 years ago

Mebbe now is a cool time to get marketin' the NAVEL EMOJI GEMSTONE.

Hey bcs we can't smoochie no more, an' the death-dealin' take on hooman lips means we gotta covah up with masks, an' eye contact between social distancers is no more sensorily advantageous than sniffin' on nowans PITS ...

so here's A BIG SHINY JOOL

you PLOP SWEET IN YOUR BELLY HOLE

which DIGS OUT YOUR MOOD

bcs SENSORS & ALL KINDSA OTHER SCHWANGO

an' TRANSMITS SWEET to YOUR VICINITY

even tho you lookin' like HANNIBAL LECTER got SUFFOCATED by a RADIOCACTIVE FRICKIN' DIAPER.

I would want an Amethyst sayin' I eternal, possibly quality incarnate.

Don't mattah I suffocatin' half to death bcs all kindsa snorkel arrangements fixed up to my skull-centric straitjacket, bcs I sayin' ...

I am FREE!

Likely the NAVEL EMOJI GEMSTONE gotta have speakers so pets can feature also.

I see Lady Gaga headlinin' the campaign for this.

Or mebbe Sarah Palin, if she sufficiently TRUSSED.

SHINE A SOULFUL LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS
from the Chakra of your unshacklability!

Imagine if everything you felt deep down
beamed your glory to to the planet in spades.

AND IT WASN'T BCS TRILLION DOLLAR TEETH ...

OR DNA-MORPHING INJECTIONS
DELIVERED BY QUESTIONABLE SURGEONS
WITH A LOVE OF LUXURY YACHTS.

Now everyone can feel truly special.
From the navel, right on up.
(Plus also right on down,
because your navel is mathematically symmetrical
in that capacity,
like universal balance generally,
which is why this whole deal is so HOT.)

PLOPS IN REAL EASY

jus' like your finger does anyway
when you pokin' around all natural
checkin' for WEEVILS
& stuff.

ATTUNES TO THE BIRDSONG OF DOLPHINS

awkay, ima flyin' out here on the inter-mammalian marketin' possibilities, but for sure, if sumone bought out a range of dinky NAVEL EMOJI GEMSTONES that kinda lit up an' blippety blooped all kindsa messages from out toppa your shorts while you wandrin' around with a sack on your head ...

likely I stoopid enough to purchase!

Upsell might actschwlly save plenty GLOO companies got sticky stuff don't currently stick nuthin' to nuthin' else -- jus' needs rebrandin' as Blooberry Nirvana ... or Citrine Crush.

Those are my thoughts rn as I contemplate the Cosmos.

tbh I should be watchin' TV with my head in a bucket of despair, but I wanna contribyoot to the world's unfoldin' magnificence any way I can.

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DURABLEOILCOM

5 years ago

Finally found ample amount of time to clean, organize and find long lost items

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socialentry

Banned 5 years ago

When I watch the White House press conference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU0d8kpybVg

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lanfear63

5 years ago

Hitler reacts to the re-opening of Georgia

https://youtu.be/xMQPZe7cD7w

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whateverpedia

5 years ago

This seems a bit harsh.

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Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?

So that blind people can hate them as well.

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Mark Singletary 5 years ago

Originally Posted by whateverpedia

This seems a bit harsh.

That's one way to kill the virus!

Mark
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- Jeffery 5 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Mark Singletary
  
  That's one way to kill the virus!
  
  Mark
  
  and solve the world food shortage?
  
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Jeffery

5 years ago

I can see the next thread started in the Off Topic forum..

Do you wear panties when you go to the grocery store?

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The Silver Linings and Quarantine Memes Thread

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