The Silver Linings and Quarantine Memes Thread

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We have a couple threads on the current global pandemic - and both threads have thoughtful and interesting comments and ideas.

What I've noticed as this goes on is the ability of people to laugh at their own serious circumstances. No, a pandemic is not funny. People are be harmed and our hearts go out to everyone affected.

But we still have the spirit to laugh - and perhaps there is nothing that brings out the humor in people as much as a serious crisis. If you can't solve it today - at least you can laugh at it for a bit.

So - post your funny stories, or positive-thinking sayings - let's share some humor as we go through this difficult time together....

I'll start with a story sent to me by a friend:

Shelter in Place, day 16

If anyone is still out there, I'm alive but struggling. Food is running low. Down to only 459 days worth. My hands are super sanitized and my butt is super clean. Down to 1599 rounds of ammo (dropped 1 round down the heat vent while doing daily inventory).

Power still on, but for how long? Missing human interaction but I have my cats.. for now.. (I'm soaking their food in BBQ sauce in an attempt to marinate them from the inside in case I have to eat them) . I fear dark days ahead. News is all bad. Neighbors have attempted to leap from windows to their death, (or near death... most have single story homes so they are badly bruised).

Blew through most Netflix series so may have to rewatch some again..Basic Survival is a definite challenge. I vow to persevere to the end, I am a survivor! Please, if there is life out there, communicate with me to help preserve my sanity..
#chuckles #linings #silver #thread
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  • Neighbors have attempted to leap from windows to their death, (or near death... most have single story homes so they are badly bruised).
    The rest was pretty funny, but this line absolutely did it for me.


    Okay, here's a video meme I put together.
    [url]
    Neighbors have attempted to leap from windows to their death, (or near death... most have single story homes so they are badly bruised).
    The rest was pretty funny, but this line absolutely did it for me.


    Okay, here's a video meme I put together.

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    • Profile picture of the author bhavya92
      Haha Good one and exact situation right now
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  • Profile picture of the author WF- Enzo
    Administrator


    Okay this has been fact-checked, but a meme is a meme.
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  • Profile picture of the author Bjarne Eldhuset
    Quarantine week #3: Even my plants have (slowly) begun social distancing.

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    • Profile picture of the author Medon
      Originally Posted by Bjarne Eldhuset View Post

      Quarantine week #3: Even my plants have (slowly) begun social distancing.

      I love this so it is everyone for themselves and God for us all.
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  • Profile picture of the author spartan14
    Well i dont have nothing with humor but some people are not constient of what happens around them .They said its a joke and its something invented by elites to scare them .Well i agree they lie a lot and they want also to scare people ,but this thing its not a joke we see so many people infected and many of them they died and also young people
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    i dont have nothing with humor

    There are already serious threads - this one is for HUMOR....
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    Just spoke to my brother on the phone who is now working from home, and has his school age kids doing the same type of thing.

    He asked me, "Can you expel your own kids from home schooling for bad behaviour?"

    A pertinent question for these times.

    What do Warriors think? All answers are welcome, however given the nature of the thread, the sillier they are the better.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    If you expel them - they'll go home...and that won't work.


    Best idea I've seen is to hold a 'tornado drill' and have the kids rush to basement...then lock the door and have a glass or two of wine before you unlock the door and give the 'all clear'.


    Sounded like a plan to me.
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  • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
    I watched so many Whitacre presentations online I got Claudevid 19

    Prince Charles (who has recovered) had the Crowner virus.

    Long distance running is making a comeback

    The safest job in the world is currently Astronaut training.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Now that we know who the essential workers are, explain to me why Professional Athletes make so much money if they are basically useless when it matters?




    Filed under 'you can't make this stuff up'...and under 'can't even believe your eyes':



    CBS News has admitted that alarming footage of an overflowing ward used during a report on the coronavirus crisis in Big Apple hospitals was actually shot in Italy.
    Are they hiring athletes now?
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    • Profile picture of the author socialentry
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      Now that we know who the essential workers are, explain to me why Professional Athletes make so much money if they are basically useless when it matters?

      Filed under 'you can't make this stuff up'...and under 'can't even believe your eyes':

      Are they hiring athletes now?

      My hometown has just decreed that liquor stores were to be considered essential businesseses.


      Also CNN once presented footage from Call of Duty as footage from the Syrian civil war.
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    Flaunting your wealth in 2019:



    Flaunting your wealth in 2020:

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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    They say you can't fix stupid - turns out you can't quarantine it, either.








    2020 was an unusual Leapyear - February was 29 days long and March lasted 5 years....
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  • Profile picture of the author allegandro

    The text in the video means something like "2minutes later"
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Shout out to all those parents who didn't teach their kids respect and now are stuck at home with the little sh**s.


    So many parents are now learning the problem wasn't the teacher after all.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      Shout out to all those parents who didn't teach their kids respect and now are stuck at home with the little sh**s.


      So many parents are now learning the problem wasn't the teacher after all.
      My son, all of 4, told me yesterday that he is smarter than me.

      I said, "whatever, buddy, I can count to 100."

      His response? "Pish. I can count to 22."
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      • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
        Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

        I said, "whatever, buddy, I can count to 100."

        His response? "Pish. I can count to 22."
        It's no wonder he said that. No-one would ever believe a banker can count higher than a 4 year old.
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        • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
          Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

          It's no wonder he said that. No-one would ever believe a banker can count higher than a 4 year old.
          "It's no wonder he said that. No-one would ever believe a banker can be shorter than a 4 year old"

          Fixed
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    And the problem is - you can't argue with a 4 yr olds logic.... You will lose, badly.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
      Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

      It's no wonder he said that. No-one would ever believe a banker can count higher than a 4 year old.
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      And the problem is - you can't argue with a 4 yr olds logic.... You will lose, badly.
      How right you are.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    I'll just leave this here for my fellow Ohioans:

    https://youtu.be/awc0blNamSo

    That seems about right for Husted....
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    • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
      Originally Posted by qwikaddotcom View Post

      Only in Florida

      He looks like a trustworthy guy.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    When you are in a dark place, you may start to think you've been buried.


    But, perhaps you've been planted.


    Bloom.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    For those people who wanted a world with no vaccines....


    Welcome to a world without ONE vaccine.
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  • For lovers of Dickcheese Stoopido ...


    Saaahry -- games's OVAH.


    *planetary applause, bcs*


    (as an etoinal hoppertimist, that my take on silvah linin')
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    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    An acquaintance forwarded me a copy of this email: (CAUTION - contains strong, but not gratuitous language.)

    I just received this message from the CDC

    ***URGENT***
    We are issuing and URGENT and IMMEDIATE call to duty for ALL homeopaths, naturopaths, chiropractors, acupuncturists, reiki masters, crystal healers, health coaches, essential oil salespeople, supplement hawkers, and all other 'alt-med' quacks who make their living talking shit about real health care professionals and evidence-based medicine.

    It's time to put your fvcking money where your big mouths are and report down to your nearest ED. If we don't see you, we fully expect that you'll all be just shutting the fvck up then, forever.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Whatty - I love that one....those are the folks that always claim LATER they 'had an answer'....sure they do.

    Funny one today in my state (ohio) - counties in Ohio that share a border iwth Pennsylvania may no longer sell liquor to people with PA licenses.

    Unlike other states, Pennsylvania listed liquor stores as 'non-essential' so those folks are coming across the states line to buy booze....of course they can still get it but will have to go farther than 1-2 counties from the line.So you got alkies driving to get booze - then drinking it on the drive home?


    It does seem there are some petty bureaucrats who are enjoying wielding 'power' a little too much- whether it makes sense or not. Most states allowed liquor stores and pot dispensaries to stay open, and closed gun shops. It was funny watching a talkig head predicting 'an uproar' about gun shops closing...but there was no real uproad.


    If you don't have a gun by now...oh well. My son says there are two kinds of people - gun owners...and targets...
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    • Profile picture of the author kenmichaels
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post



      If you don't have a gun by now...oh well. My son says there are two kinds of people - gun owners...and targets...
      Hahahahahahah

      my kids already pretty good with a plinker.
      I was better - way better - by his age. 10
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    LIQUOR

    The glue holding this sh**show together.
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    • Profile picture of the author Odahh
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      LIQUOR

      The glue holding this sh**show together.


      its a real bad idea to buy enough beer and jack danials for two weeks..tried that two weeks ago ..ran out of beer 5 days later..
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  • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
    Lol So it's a Cellular Virus..Well it infects cells don't it?

    "TV presenter Eamonn Holmes is at the centre of a controversy after casting doubt on media outlets that debunk the myth that 5G causes coronavirus.

    "What I don't accept is mainstream media immediately slapping that down as not true when they don't know it's not true," the ITV This Morning host said.

    "It's very easy to say it is not true because it suits the state narrative."

    He was criticised on social media and by scientists who have dismissed the theories as "complete rubbish"."

    Source: https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-52270736
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  • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
    Two aliens are all set to abduct a man from his bedroom. Just as they were about to levitate him they see he is awake. One of the aliens telepathically broadcasts to him: "Aren't you scared?" "No" says the man: "I am glad that I will be able to get out of the house!"
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  • Profile picture of the author TobiMDD
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    STOP getting confused and lied to. Click Here to get the best book about affiliate marketing out there.
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
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  • Profile picture of the author kenmichaels
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  • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
    A locked-down librarian must have had fun arranging this bookshelf:


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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    The lockdown is taking ts toll:

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    • Profile picture of the author Medon
      Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

      The lockdown is taking ts toll:

      He he he, they must be wondering whether human beings processors have ceased functioning.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Home isolation has its ups and downs.
    One day you're flying high and
    cleaning the baseboards with a q-tip,
    and the next day you're
    drinking tequila
    and watching squirrels
    out the window.
    There's no in between.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      Well, if we do all go pfffft in 10 years or so as some have predicted....good to know nature will take over where we left left off - and probably do a better job of it.
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    • Profile picture of the author DWolfe
      Animals taking over the streets during lock down
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    • Profile picture of the author DWolfe
      Sleeping Lions during lock down [ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maLs9Jy6rR8"]Lions taking advantage of lockdown sleeping on roads in South Africa
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      You want a mask??? (no affiliation - just appreciation)



      https://www.rosesunny.com/collection...-headwear-3d-1
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      • Profile picture of the author kenmichaels
        Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

        You want a mask??? (no affiliation - just appreciation)



        https://www.rosesunny.com/collection...-headwear-3d-1
        Funny. We all have drawers full of those for hunting, skiing - just going out in the winter.

        BUT the #1 rule my entire life has always been.

        Don't forget to take it off when you go into a store. People freak!
        It will be tough not to rip it off as I walk in
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      I'm drinking quarantine coffee. It's just like coffee but it has Margarita in it, and also no coffee.



      I thought it was hilarious that I ordered 'delivered groceries' and instead of 3 lbs of bananas.....my 'shopper' added ONE banana. All week I've been wondering if there are really people who buy ONE banana. A friend topped me - she ordered 2 lbs of green beans....and in her order was a plastic produce bag with ONE green bean. She said it was a very nice green bean - was reasonable as the charge was .02 but she was a bit worried about the stress levels of those filling orders.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      If your path demands you to walk through Hell,

      Walk as if you own the place.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a distillery to homeschool one.
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      • Profile picture of the author Odahh
        Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

        If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a distillery to homeschool one.
        that is fine if the kids can't go out and play might as well let them get drunk in their bedrooms
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        • Profile picture of the author kenmichaels
          Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

          that is fine if the kids can't go out and play might as well let them get drunk in their bedrooms
          Bedroom? Nahh keep them where you can see them.
          It's guaranteed entertainment.

          Record it and then you have years of embarrassing blackmail material.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      THE END DATE OF QUARANTINE WAS JUST ANNOUNCED:

      Octembruary 47th

      -----------------------------

      Please stop warning people not to ingest disinfectant. We should just let this one play out.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      I was in a DVD store and bought ONE DVD

      Do you have it memorized? THIS is what 'streaming video' was created for.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      Question for my friends who know about Essential Oils:


      Which essential oil calms housebound family members down? Chloroform? It is chloroform, isn't it?


      -------------------


      POLL:

      ARE YOU DRINKING MORE WHILE IN LOCKDOWN?

      [__] Yes

      [__] No

      X
      ---------------------------------------
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      The text below isn't funny but it it insightful...I don't know who wrote the original but I added a bit to it. It's a good overview - at least for those in the US. Probably not that much different for other countries as well.


      Perspective:

      WE ARE NOT IN THE SAME BOAT....

      I heard that we are all in the same boat, but it's not like that. We are in the same storm, but not in the same boat. Your ship could be shipwrecked and mine might not be. Or vice versa.

      For some, quarantine is optimal. A moment of reflection, of re-connection, easy in flip flops, with a cocktail or coffee. For others, this is a desperate financial and family crisis.

      For some that live alone, they're facing endless loneliness. For others, it is peace, rest and time with mother, father, sons & daughters.

      With the $600 weekly increase in unemployment (USA) some are bringing in more money to their households than when they were working. Others are working more hours for less money due to pay cuts or loss in sales. Some families of 4 just received $3400 from the stimulus while other families of 4 saw $0.

      Some were concerned about getting the kids favorite candy for Easter while others worried if there would be enough bread, milk and eggs to feed everyone for the weekend.

      Some want to go back to work because they don't qualify for unemployment and are running out of money. Others want to arrest (or shoot) those who break the quarantine.

      Some parents at home spend 2-3 hrs/day helping their child with online schooling while other parents spend 2-3 hrs/day on top of a 10-12 hr workday.

      Some have experienced the near death of the virus, some have already lost a loved one to the virus or are worried their loved ones won't survive. Others don't think it's a big deal.

      Some have faith and expect miracles; some are optimistic and think everything will be OK in time; others say the worst is yet to come.. All believe they are right.

      Friends, we are not in the same boat. This is a time when our perceptions, needs and our realities are completely different.

      Each of us will emerge, in our own way, from this storm. It is critical for us to see beyond our own circumstances...not just to look...but to SEE that we are in different boats experiencing a variety of journeys.

      Realize that and show tolerance. Accept that - and be kind.
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    • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
      Whatty's last few posts haven't shown up for me in Firefox. Anyone else with that problem?
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      • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
        Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

        Whatty's last few posts haven't shown up for me in Firefox. Anyone else with that problem?
        Problem?! Try blessing.
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      • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
        Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

        Whatty's last few posts haven't shown up for me in Firefox. Anyone else with that problem?
        Let's see how this works out for you





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        • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
          Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

          Let's see how this works out for you
          Thanks. Not sure what you did, but they showed up fine.


          Can't believe Kay called you an ozziemoron.
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          • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
            Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

            Thanks. Not sure what you did, but they showed up fine.
            The original images were posted using the link from Twitter, which can be a bit temperamental as to what shows up and what doesn't.

            I uploaded them to Post Image, and then used the links they provide.

            Voila!
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      • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
        Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

        Whatty's last few posts haven't shown up for me in Firefox. Anyone else with that problem?
        I'm having problems as well, although I'm using Chrome. The problem is that Riffle's posts DO show up.
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        • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
          Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

          I'm having problems as well, although I'm using Chrome. The problem is that Riffle's posts DO show up.
          I know, I've been seeing ones from Claude as well. Spam filters obviously not working
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          Marriage, For The Best Arguments

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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      #75, 77, 80 show for me and I'm in firefox. I did just update firefox yesterday though - due to problems viewing a couple sites.
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    • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
      Strange. I'm using the latest version - maybe it's a security issue.

      Or it's filtering out Aussie humour.
      Signature
      TOP TIP: To browse the forum like a Pro, select "View Classic" from the drop-down menu under your user name.

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      • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
        Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

        Strange. I'm using the latest version - maybe it's a security issue.

        Or it's filtering out Aussie humour.
        And you'r complaining?
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        Marriage, For The Best Arguments

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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      filtering out Aussie humour.

      Ahhhh, Frank made an oxymoron....
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      it is sad that people have to be warned not to consume disinfectants. By the way, don't stick a cactus up your a** either. Just sayin....
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      • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
        Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

        By the way, don't stick a cactus up your a** either. Just sayin....
        Now she tells us...
        Signature
        A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in - Greek proverb
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        • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
          Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

          Now she tells us...
          Claude & Dan engage in such activities, they are a Prickly Pair.
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          • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
            Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

            Claude & Dan engage in such activities, they are a Prickly Pair.
            You have misheard that description. The correct description is "a pair of pr!cks"
            Signature
            A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in - Greek proverb
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          • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
            and people said the same thing about Einstein and Edison. There are always going to be people that had a rough start yet they surprise us with break-throughs because people are just...


            people.
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          • Profile picture of the author Kay King
            I never realized just how many different '-ologists' there are...though some like proctologists are sitting this pandemic out.
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            • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
              Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

              I never realized just how many different '-ologists' there are...though some like proctologists are sitting this pandemic out.
              Why are proctologists the butt of a lot of jokes? Seems to me they're getting a bum deal.
              Signature
              A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in - Greek proverb
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          • Profile picture of the author Profit Traveler
            Can you now imagine the impact on SONG WRITING?

            2 of my fav uplifting classics....

            Would there have been a "Lean On Me" in this era?

            What about Reach Out and Touch Somebody's Hand?

            What will love songs be like now?

            Let's get Tested Together Baby...every body sing.

            Remember that music video where the guy just goes around hugging people on the street?

            He would get punched in the face or arrested now.
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            • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
              Originally Posted by Profit Traveler View Post

              Can you now imagine the impact on SONG WRITING?

              2 of my fav uplifting classics....

              Would there have been a "Lean On Me" in this era?

              What about Reach Out and Touch Somebody's Hand?

              What will love songs be like now?

              Let's get Tested Together Baby...every body sing.

              Remember that music video where the guy just goes around hugging people on the street?

              He would get punched in the face or arrested now.
              "Remember that music video where the guy just goes around hugging people on the street? He would get punched in the face or arrested now"

              I never knew Dan Riffle made a music video
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          • Profile picture of the author Kay King
            It is those FREEDOMS that allow them to do that...that's th point. We are seeing 'enforcement' of laws o social distancing' - and those are not LAWS.


            I predict within another week or two - govs are going to find it difficult to keep their states locked down.
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            • Profile picture of the author Odahh
              Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

              It is those FREEDOMS that allow them to do that...that's th point. We are seeing 'enforcement' of laws o social distancing' - and those are not LAWS.


              I predict within another week or two - govs are going to find it difficult to keep their states locked down.
              i agree with you .. but the cult of safety is in charge right now .. you may have seen me use that phrase in the past ..but right now the constitution has been tossed out ..and your not allowed topractice the freedoms you think you have .. if they risk you may catch a cold ..
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              • Profile picture of the author DWolfe
                Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

                i agree with you .. but the cult of safety is in charge right now .. you may have seen me use that phrase ....
                Why come into a thread that is suppose to lighten the place up and start with the complaining ?
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                • Profile picture of the author Odahh
                  Originally Posted by DWolfe View Post

                  Why come into a thread that is suppose to lighten the place up and start with the complaining ?
                  I actually just woke up feeling a little guilty about that wondering how can I shift from the cloud to the silver lining .

                  One of the easiest ways for they government to get people to do something is to try and pass laws against them doing it or tell them not to do it.

                  So as this start opening up again you will see people far friendlier to each other.

                  Now what do we replace the handshake with..I was already not a fan of shaking hands ..what was that greeting in demolition man
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            • Profile picture of the author socialentry
              Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

              It is those FREEDOMS that allow them to do that...that's th point. We are seeing 'enforcement' of laws o social distancing' - and those are not LAWS.

              A measure of social shaming seems preferable to a full fledged police response?
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          • Profile picture of the author Kay King
            I've seen recommendations to 'bump elbows' which looks pretty 'high-school-jockish' to me. I've posted that i'm happy the 'hugging a new person' bit may be over as I never liked it.


            Why can't people just make eye contact and say hello? What is the obsession with touching whenever you meet someone?



            If we are going to be wearing masks for a while - our eyes are the only expressive thing new people will see - making eye contact will be important.
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            • Profile picture of the author Odahh
              Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

              I
              If we are going to be wearing masks for a while - our eyes are the only expressive thing new people will see - making eye contact will be important.
              hopefully one thing wearing mask stops for a while is the conversations people have on their cellphones ..way too loud about extra personal matters you don't really want to hear..

              honestly about hanshaking i have become a non fan of it over the last several years traveling..and watching poor handwashing practices or just a lack of ways to adequately dry hands ..
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          • Profile picture of the author Kay King
            unshacklability!
            Read that as 'unshackupability' - got confused and had to start over...
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            • Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

              Read that as 'unshackupability' - got confused and hard to start over...
              Turns out Elvis suffered from unshookupability for a brief few months durin' the early 60s.

              Reports indicate it was a kinda stage fright, but all Elvis knew was ... I can't do that thing with my pelvis no more.

              So his record company hired a coupla tennis gals to help out.

              They were twins, jus' startin' out on the circuit as a ladies' doubles team.

              Anyhoo, deal with the twins was to get Elvis "started up" jus' like mechanics gotta do fancy stuff to get an old car gowin'.

              So they would wait backstage with Elvis, an' jus' before he went on, the oldest gal would pull his pants down an' start whackin' on his ass with her racquet while her sistah shook him by the shoulders.

              Kinda helped to kickstart the famous gyrations an' keep Elvis in the loop as acts like the Beatles an' the Beach Boys sought to steal his crown.

              Visitors to Graceland can twang the strings on all the gals' racquets for an extra $50 per visit, an' occasionally the promo team let you feel the few remainin' balls The King nevah stuffed down his pants aftah he'd been regyrated.

              Tellya, there is so much history in popular culchah, an' in these times of darkness, the undiscovered stories behind the celebrity myths can be a real source of inspiration.
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              Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

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          • Profile picture of the author Kay King
            OK - enough of this. i put on my trusty mask and ventured out into the wilds of grocery shopping today.

            About 80% of the people in the two stores I visited were wearing masks. I found myself wondering what someone might say if i wore a Lone Ranger type mask instaad of this bottom of the face thingie.
            Signature

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            • Profile picture of the author Odahh
              Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

              OK - enough of this. i put on my trusty mask and ventured out into the wilds of grocery shopping today.

              About 80% of the people in the two stores I visited were wearing masks. I found myself wondering what someone might say if i wore a Lone Ranger type mask instaad of this bottom of the face thingie.
              at this point almost anything that qualifies as a mask will do ..if mask become a long term thing a lot more personality and style will start showing up on masks ..especially once people spend more time in public ..

              and on a different note i think elon musk just stepp into crazy land when naming the new child ..i guess naming the kidd f#$K california might be the back up for paperwork
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            • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
              Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

              OK - enough of this. i put on my trusty mask and ventured out into the wilds of grocery shopping today.

              About 80% of the people in the two stores I visited were wearing masks. I found myself wondering what someone might say if i wore a Lone Ranger type mask instaad of this bottom of the face thingie.
              When the assistant asks how you would like to pay, you should say "Hi Ho Silver"
              Signature

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          • Profile picture of the author Kay King
            It doesn't matter what that kid is named - he'll just be known as 'rich kid' and probably as 'rich nerd'....I'm just going to call him Fred.




            Speaking of idiots - i think I qualify. You know how you can't get those stupid produce bags to open so you can put your lettuce or whatever in? The normal 'thingie' is to touch your finger to your tongue to get traction to open that little bag. I forgot (twice!) - it doesn't work when you have a mask on. You know those times when you look around to see if anyone noticed?
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            • Profile picture of the author Odahh
              Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

              It doesn't matter what that kid is named - he'll just be known as 'rich kid' and probably as 'rich nerd'....I'm just going to call him Fred.




              Speaking of idiots - i think I qualify. You know how you can't get those stupid produce bags to open so you can put your lettuce or whatever in? The normal 'thingie' is to touch your finger to your tongue to get traction to open that little bag. I forgot (twice!) - it doesn't work when you have a mask on. You know those times when you look around to see if anyone noticed?
              do us pull the bags from the roll with your hands or do you use the egde most have to help seperate the bags ..i can usually use that to get bags open .. if i seperate the bag from the roll and it isn't open it is trash and i just get another bag from the roll ..

              at least you bother opening the bags after you get them off the roll of bags ,
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            • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
              Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

              It doesn't matter what that kid is named - he'll just be known as 'rich kid' and probably as 'rich nerd'....I'm just going to call him Fred.

              Speaking of idiots - i think I qualify. You know how you can't get those stupid produce bags to open so you can put your lettuce or whatever in? The normal 'thingie' is to touch your finger to your tongue to get traction to open that little bag. I forgot (twice!) - it doesn't work when you have a mask on. You know those times when you look around to see if anyone noticed?

              What I do is grasp the place where the bag opens with my thumb and middle finger and kind of snap my fingers.


              When that doesn't work I just snatch a little ol' ladies bag of goodies from her cart when she isn't looking.
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          • Profile picture of the author Profit Traveler
            It was hard for me to wake up and smile but then I realized that alot of what was making me frown was The Stupid Movement.

            But then I realized that COVID takes care of The Stupid.

            I am all smiles.
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            • Profile picture of the author Odahh
              Originally Posted by Profit Traveler View Post

              It was hard for me to wake up and smile but then I realized that alot of what was making me frown was The Stupid Movement.

              But then I realized that COVID takes care of The Stupid.

              I am all smiles.
              no this dosen't help with the epidemic of stupid it just makes it worse .. remember stupid people breed a lot faster than smart people .. or responsible people .

              and we reward stupid far more than we reward smart ..
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              • Profile picture of the author Profit Traveler
                Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

                no this dosen't help with the epidemic of stupid it just makes it worse .. remember stupid people breed a lot faster than smart people .. or responsible people .

                and we reward stupid far more than we reward smart ..

                We have been thru a very surreal period past 3.5 years but reality dictates that the shiznit is really about to hit the fan in coming months.


                Unprecedented will be an understatement.


                But there will be some funny..I see it every day with Twitter. Mostly in reactions to the event of the day.
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                • Profile picture of the author socialentry
                  Originally Posted by Profit Traveler View Post

                  We have been thru a very surreal period past 3.5 years but reality dictates that the shiznit is really about to hit the fan in coming months.

                  Unprecedented will be an understatement.



                  Hmmmmmm.... How about...

                  The Spanish Flu
                  the bubonic plague
                  The Mongol invasions.
                  The Fall of the Roman Empire.
                  The Dark Ages
                  World War II
                  World War I
                  European Imperialism
                  The disappearance of the dinosaurs
                  The Armenian genocide
                  The Cultural Revolution
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                  • Originally Posted by socialentry View Post

                    Tidus's laugh - YouTube


                    Hmmmmmm.... How about...

                    The Spanish Flu
                    the bubonic plague
                    The Mongol invasions.
                    The Fall of the Roman Empire.
                    The Dark Ages
                    World War II
                    World War I
                    European Imperialism
                    The disappearance of the dinosaurs
                    The Armenian genocide
                    The Cultural Revolution

                    Couldn't get Tickets for those...All Sold Out.


                    But I will witness personally, the most powerful on the planet, backed into a corner.

                    Front Row Seats.
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    • Profile picture of the author Profit Traveler
      I was having such a good time searching for a meme I got too lazy to upload the images but your imaginations will do just fine...



      When your Hair Dresser is Closed but your Dog Groomer has a Cancellation.

      Funny Woman with Poodle Hairdo Pic.


      **************


      Picture of woman with angry excited look and pointing the Finger..
      You Said You Were Sick!

      Pic of a cool and calm cat with Case of Beer
      I said I had a Case of Corona.


      *****************

      When you hear your neighbor COUGH...
      Pic of Terrified Baby Toddler.

      Then you smell WEED.
      Happy Baby Pic!



      *******************


      Latest Episode of Pawn Stars Valuation...
      The Owner has that look on his face like not another one of these...

      The "I got the goods look" on The Proud Person trying to Pawn his Treasure...
      Huge Pack of Toilet Paper and Case of Hand Sanitizer
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      ...and to think we used to EAT cake after someone had blown on it. Good times.


      ---------


      Are we being 'conditioned' to think that people who stand up for their freedoms are selfish, extreme, irresponsible, hateful, irrational and lawless???



      --------
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      • Profile picture of the author kenmichaels
        Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

        ...and to think we used to EAT cake after someone had blown on it. Good times.


        ---------

        Are we being 'conditioned' to think that people who stand up for their freedoms are selfish, extreme, irresponsible, hateful, irrational and lawless???


        --------
        Interesting thought.

        ...Upon reflection, no.

        I see the daily reminder that most people, do respect, cherish and value their elders.
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      • Profile picture of the author Odahh
        Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

        ...and to think we used to EAT cake after someone had blown on it. Good times.


        ---------


        Are we being 'conditioned' to think that people who stand up for their freedoms are selfish, extreme, irresponsible, hateful, irrational and lawless???



        --------
        it not standing up fo freedom .. its small businesses owners .. saying they need to work to earn money and pay our rents for businesses and our families home and feed our kids ..
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    Signature
    A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in - Greek proverb
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
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    A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in - Greek proverb
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  • Profile picture of the author agmccall
    Signature
    "Theater, sports, movies, and church are all driven primarily by an ancient desire to be in each other’s proximity." ~David Marcus~
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    Signature
    A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in - Greek proverb
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    Signature
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  • Profile picture of the author kenmichaels
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    Selling Ain't for Sissies
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  • Profile picture of the author Profit Traveler
    Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

    We have a couple threads on the current global pandemic - and both threads have thoughtful and interesting comments and ideas.

    What I've noticed as this goes on is the ability of people to laugh at their own serious circumstances. No, a pandemic is not funny. People are be harmed and our hearts go out to everyone affected.

    But we still have the spirit to laugh - and perhaps there is nothing that brings out the humor in people as much as a serious crisis. If you can't solve it today - at least you can laugh at it for a bit.

    So - post your funny stories, or positive-thinking sayings - let's share some humor as we go through this difficult time together....

    I'll start with a story sent to me by a friend:



    Smile Break was exactly what the doctor ordered thanks!

    On the day before lock down quarantine here overseas I did not fully grasp what was in store.

    I was in a DVD store and bought ONE DVD
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  • Profile picture of the author kenmichaels
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  • Profile picture of the author Medon
    All the memes here are fun and interesting. Post more good people.
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    Signature
    A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in - Greek proverb
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    Signature
    A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in - Greek proverb
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  • Profile picture of the author VirtualVeena
    There is a lot of this kind of Coronavirus humor going around on the net.
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  • Profile picture of the author kenmichaels
    I'm using WF - FF's brother and I see Whatty's posts
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    This is what happens when talented people suddenly find themselves with a lot of time on my hands:


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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    The media are quite rightly criticised for some of the crap they peddle, however if they picking up important scoops like this, its future is assured*.



    * Assured of being very bleak.
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    • Profile picture of the author DABK
      You know, submarines fit in caves and under pyramids, and many other places. I once hid a blue and red one under the dirty clothes in the hamper in the laundry room. Took them 2 hours to find it. If only I had known about the sea!



      Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

      The media are quite rightly criticised for some of the crap they peddle, however if they picking up important scoops like this, its future is assured*.



      * Assured of being very bleak.
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      • Profile picture of the author Kay King
        Grocery shopping in a mask is a weird experience...the mask starts bugging me and my train of thought goes chugging down the tracks. I hate it when i mean to buy seedless grapes and reaching for them I accidentally get, you know, Oreos.


        darn mask
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        • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
          Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

          Grocery shopping in a mask is a weird experience...the mask starts bugging me and my train of thought goes chugging down the tracks. I hate it when i mean to buy seedless grapes and reaching for them I accidentally get, you know, Oreos.


          darn mask
          Same problem, reach out for Lean Cuisine and end up with Hungry Man
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      • "I Tested Positively toward Negative"

        Comedy Gold.
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  • *Phew*


    For a moment there, I figured Whatto had been gobbled by them Oz spidahz.


    Now evrywan is home, they can bust outta the toilet way more regulah an' make with the arachnidsy SLAYIN'.
    Signature

    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

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  • Profile picture of the author kenmichaels
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    • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
      Originally Posted by Jeffery View Post

      I just spit in my hand and say "Put it there partner."
      Never do that if you meet Claude
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    • Profile picture of the author Odahh
      Originally Posted by Jeffery View Post

      I just spit in my hand and say "Put it there partner."
      after eating a rack of ribs and some bbq chicken ..so your hands are all kinds of messy ..
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  • Mebbe now is a cool time to get marketin' the NAVEL EMOJI GEMSTONE.

    Hey bcs we can't smoochie no more, an' the death-dealin' take on hooman lips means we gotta covah up with masks, an' eye contact between social distancers is no more sensorily advantageous than sniffin' on nowans PITS ...

    so here's A BIG SHINY JOOL

    you PLOP SWEET IN YOUR BELLY HOLE

    which DIGS OUT YOUR MOOD

    bcs SENSORS & ALL KINDSA OTHER SCHWANGO

    an' TRANSMITS SWEET to YOUR VICINITY

    even tho you lookin' like HANNIBAL LECTER got SUFFOCATED by a RADIOCACTIVE FRICKIN' DIAPER.

    I would want an Amethyst sayin' I eternal, possibly quality incarnate.

    Don't mattah I suffocatin' half to death bcs all kindsa snorkel arrangements fixed up to my skull-centric straitjacket, bcs I sayin' ...

    I am FREE!

    Likely the NAVEL EMOJI GEMSTONE gotta have speakers so pets can feature also.

    I see Lady Gaga headlinin' the campaign for this.

    Or mebbe Sarah Palin, if she sufficiently TRUSSED.


    SHINE A SOULFUL LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS
    from the Chakra of your unshacklability!


    Imagine if everything you felt deep down
    beamed your glory to to the planet in spades.

    AND IT WASN'T BCS TRILLION DOLLAR TEETH ...

    OR DNA-MORPHING INJECTIONS
    DELIVERED BY QUESTIONABLE SURGEONS
    WITH A LOVE OF LUXURY YACHTS.

    Now everyone can feel truly special.
    From the navel, right on up.
    (Plus also right on down,
    because your navel is mathematically symmetrical
    in that capacity,
    like universal balance generally,
    which is why this whole deal is so HOT.)

    PLOPS IN REAL EASY

    jus' like your finger does anyway
    when you pokin' around all natural
    checkin' for WEEVILS
    & stuff.

    ATTUNES TO THE BIRDSONG OF DOLPHINS


    awkay, ima flyin' out here on the inter-mammalian marketin' possibilities, but for sure, if sumone bought out a range of dinky NAVEL EMOJI GEMSTONES that kinda lit up an' blippety blooped all kindsa messages from out toppa your shorts while you wandrin' around with a sack on your head ...

    likely I stoopid enough to purchase!

    Upsell might actschwlly save plenty GLOO companies got sticky stuff don't currently stick nuthin' to nuthin' else -- jus' needs rebrandin' as Blooberry Nirvana ... or Citrine Crush.

    Those are my thoughts rn as I contemplate the Cosmos.

    tbh I should be watchin' TV with my head in a bucket of despair, but I wanna contribyoot to the world's unfoldin' magnificence any way I can.

    Signature

    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

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  • Profile picture of the author DURABLEOILCOM
    Finally found ample amount of time to clean, organize and find long lost items
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  • Profile picture of the author socialentry
    When I watch the White House press conference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU0d8kpybVg
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  • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
    Hitler reacts to the re-opening of Georgia

    https://youtu.be/xMQPZe7cD7w
    Signature

    Marriage, For The Best Arguments

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