Why should I want to be your friend?

andrew_writes

14 years ago

Sent you a PM

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rosetrees 14 years ago

Peter - that same question has been niggling me too. On the social networking sites only friends can see certain posts etc. I'm not aware of a "private", friends only function here.

Maybe it was one of those things that got added but then never quite got implemented fully? Just a thought. Only "the forum god" can tell us.
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Peter Bestel 14 years ago

Originally Posted by andrew_writes

Sent you a PM

Sent you one back!
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MissTerraK

14 years ago

Originally Posted by Peter Bestel

What's the point of the Friend function on this forum?

We've discussed this before, a while back when it was new and I guess a lot of people just jumped on the facility just because it was there. But really, now we've had time to play with it for a year or so, what's the point?

Is anyone finding it's really worth while?

Are you able to manage your Warrior relationships more efficiently? Does it help with JV requests? Do you make assumptions about people's credibility based on who their friends are?

And, just in case I'm missing a glaringly obvious benefit, what's the suggested protocol for asking someone to be your friend? - surely not simply clicking the 'friends request' button - I'd at least expect a PM saying why I should be your friend, particularly if we've never even chatted in a thread.

I received a request this morning from someone that, as far as I can remember, I've not communicated with before. They might well be a very personable (even useful) person to know, but how is becoming a friend going to help me find out?

Peter

Fisrt of all, if you are looking for friends just so they can be useful to you and help you out, then you really aren't looking for true friends!

Friends are people you have things in common with, who can cheer you up, who can make you laugh, who lends a shoulder when you need one, whom you can ask personal opinion from before posting.

Friends are people who can be a port in the storm for you, people who understand you, people who support you!

Friends can teach you things and friends can learn from you, sharing, being a sounding board, I could go on and on!

I believe you can never have too many friends! This crazy world we live in would be a dark and lonely place without friends! May true friendship search you out!
MissTerraK

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1 reply

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Peter Bestel

14 years ago

MissTerraK,

Let's not confuse the Warrior Forum Friends function with a way of creating long-lasting, meaningful relationships. It's simply a list of names that been acquired by ticking a box.

I am not wanting to get into the discussion of what makes a true friend - if that was the case then you make some valid points.

This is simply about the function of adding a Warrior member to a list of other selected Warrior members.

I'm all for making friendships - relationships that do the things you mention in your post. I've made friendships of some Warriors, some, but not all are in my 'friends' list. That's not because I consider them less of a friend, simply because I don't see the benefit of this particular function.

Peter

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1 reply

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MissTerraK

14 years ago

Originally Posted by Peter Bestel

MissTerraK,

Let's not confuse the Warrior Forum Friends function with a way of creating long-lasting, meaningful relationships. It's simply a list of names that been acquired by ticking a box.

I am not wanting to get into the discussion of what makes a true friend - if that was the case then you make some valid points.

This is simply about the function of adding a Warrior member to a list of other selected Warrior members.

I'm all for making friendships - relationships that do the things you mention in your post. I've made friendships of some Warriors, some, but not all are in my 'friends' list. That's not because I consider them less of a friend, simply because I don't see the benefit of this particular function.

Peter

I totally agree with you and see where you are coming from! I as well have made some true friends on the forum! I am still learning through browing threads, and giving my humble opinion where I can. I have made friends that way as well. I have thanked some very informative and kind posts, made some friends that way too!

I personally like the friend button though I don't have a gazillion of friends, but I like people I can relate with, and it's always nice to see a friendly, familiar face while browsing

!

Oh, P.S.
Can I be your friend...I have a spoon :p LOL!
Have a productive day!
MissTerraK

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Kevin Riley

14 years ago

Originally Posted by Peter Bestel

What's the point of having a hairball like Kevin Riley as your friend?

PLEASE PETER, BE MY FRIEND

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Kevin Riley, long-time Warrior living in Osaka, Japan

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Irishman

14 years ago

It's a fair question. I often give my wife a hard time about having a gizzillion friends on Facebook and have at times for fun, quizzed her on who "such and such is" and how she knows them... LOL

I do have a different take though on this forum's friend feature.

Keep in mind I don't use it much, actually just over the past few weeks... but my #1 reason for sending a friend request is because I've been impacted by more than a few of their posts.

Personally, I don't have the time to live in this forum, but I do gain a lot of wisdom from it, so it's helpful when I do come back into the forum, to remember the short list of who's posts I might want to go look for.

So I guess in a sense I use it as a manual twitter feed if that makes any sense.

Best,

Will

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Allen Graves

14 years ago

Peter, can't you send a mass PM to all of your "friends"? I thought you could, but maybe they took that away.

And yes, friends on an internet forum are in a completely separate group than your true friends, although I have struck up a few true friendships here!

Allen

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Steven Wagenheim 14 years ago

"Why should I want to be your friend?"

I got nuthin.
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Peter Bestel 14 years ago

Originally Posted by Kevin Riley

PLEASE PETER, BE MY FRIEND

He's like a pathetic little puppy, isn't he. Awwe, go on then. request sent.

Originally Posted by Allen Graves

Peter, can't you send a mass PM to all of your "friends"? I thought you could, but maybe they took that away.

Yep, I believe that was removed fairly sharpish following the inevitable abuse of the function.
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sanjid112

14 years ago

Personally I seldom use friends future in all forums I ever join. But, in my thought, friends is someone with whom I want to speak more privately and full of trust that they can kept it for themselves.

I made friends with them, coz I want to know more about them, about their thoughts and great ideas, since they inspired me with some/plenty good stuff before.

-Malik

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Istvan Horvath

14 years ago

For months I didn't have any friends mainly because I didn't send any requests. Even more, I turned down a couple of requests because I had no idea who that member was.

Now, after being in Raleigh at the WF event, I connected with a few people here in the forum, too. (As well as on Twitter and on Facebook.) That's how I got a few friends

I still get the occasional request from absolutely unknown people: we didn't even post in the same threads! So really, why do they want to be my friend...?

P.S. The funny thing is I seldom PM my WF friends. However, I exchanged lots of PMs with people who offered to help me without ever knowing me... or whom I helped. Maybe I should send a request to the first group

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Peter Bestel

14 years ago

Thinking about this friend function...

Maybe it would be more useful if there was an indicator under each poster's avatar that indicated whether they were your friend or not. This would certainly be of use to the infrequent visitors and those of us with poor memories of who we've befriended!

This section on the left of each post is, I believe, called the 'postbit' in VBulletin speak and is customisable - but how easy/difficult it would be, well, I don't know.

Over to admin as to whether they feel it's a worthwhile feature or not.

Peter

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acrasial

14 years ago

Dear Peter Bestel,

Are you kidding me!?

I am the most dedicated person on this forum to you! Other people may not give two scoops of poop about what you say, but here I am passionately reading your posts and endlessly thinking you are just the most knowledgeable and helpful person out there! How dare you insult me like that!

Who am I?

I am the noobs, the "desperate's", and simply other warriors who respect you for the posts you have written and the useful information which you have given us. In the end, I request to be your friend, because I thought that you were just great, but I guess you didn't think so.

I thought that maybe if I got to know you, that I would finally be going in the right direction, because you seemed to know where you were going, but I guess I was wrong there too.

Thanks for letting me know. But don't worry Petey, if you add me as a friend, all is forgiven

...

Love always,
The Warriors who add you as a friend.

Thanks

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CDarklock

14 years ago

I always just accept them and don't say anything about it. I figure most people are just as confused about it as I am, and I'm terrified at the idea of turning down a request from someone who's crying and holding a loaded .38 and thinking "nobody wants to be my friend" at his computer.

I mean honestly, that's probably never going to happen, but how would you live with yourself if it did?

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DonnaLeona 14 years ago

Hi,

It's all about being friendly and letting someone know (via a friend request) that you found the information they posted interesting and useful.

It makes it easy for me to click on your name in my friends list and see what you have been up to and any new posts you've made.

Just another way to connect on a vast forum.

Are you by any chance an introvert?

Best,
Donna
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- Istvan Horvath 14 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by DonnaLeona
  
  Are you by any chance an introvert?
  
  The "live-in" shrink (=my wife) says I am .
  
  No friends for introverts???
  
  Thanks
  
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Matt Bard 14 years ago

Originally Posted by CDarklock

...a request from someone who's crying and holding a loaded .38 and thinking "nobody wants to be my friend" at his computer.

You just broke the first rule of our WF friendship.

Can't tell them what I told you in private.

And it wasn't a .38, it was a .22...

...until you suggested that I get a bigger gun

Matt
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DogScout

14 years ago

Originally Posted by CDarklock

I always just accept them and don't say anything about it. I figure most people are just as confused about it as I am, and I'm terrified at the idea of turning down a request from someone who's crying and holding a loaded .38 and thinking "nobody wants to be my friend" at his computer.

I mean honestly, that's probably never going to happen, but how would you live with yourself if it did?

Interesting thought.

I just accept them. If I think hard enough, I sometimes remember a previous interaction on a thread with them. Some I got no clue, but assume they read a post they liked. (I might have written one interesting post.)

I have never requested to be someone's friend, but am glad a couple that have asked me did as I really like the ones I do know.

After that above post, I don't think I'll ever refuse a friend request. Lol.

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JayXtreme

14 years ago

I just accept them and forget about them..

No offence to any of the people on my friends list, at all.

Here's the thing..

If somebody in this forum, is going to look at that list of "friends" and use it as some sort of gauge in a business relationship with me... then I'm probably not going to want any business relationship with them anyways...

Peace

Jay

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Bare Murkage.........

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JohnMcCabe 14 years ago

Originally Posted by BIG Mike

I'll share my beer and let you sleep with my sister?

What kind of beer is it?
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- 2 replies
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- JayXtreme 14 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by JohnMcCabe
  
  What kind of beer is it?
  
  Yeah.. x2 on this ^
  
  Peace
  
  Jay
  
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  Bare Murkage.........
  
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- Kevin Riley 14 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by JohnMcCabe
  
  What kind of beer is it?
  
  LOL, you'll need a lot of it to sleep with Big Mike's sister
  
  Thanks
  
  1 reply
  
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  Kevin Riley, long-time Warrior living in Osaka, Japan
  
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  JohnMcCabe 14 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Kevin Riley
  
  LOL, you'll need a lot of it to sleep with Big Mike's sister
  
  You know what they say...
  
  The girls all get prettier at closing time...
  
  Thanks
  
  1 reply
  
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  Kevin Riley 14 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by JohnMcCabe
  
  You know what they say...
  
  The girls all get prettier at closing time...
  
  With Big Mike's sister, you better find a bar that closes real late.
  
  Thanks
  
  2 replies
  
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  Kevin Riley, long-time Warrior living in Osaka, Japan
  
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  Killer Joe 14 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Kevin Riley
  
  With Big Mike's sister, you better find a bar that closes real late.
  
  I get the feeling Rule #1 doesn't apply to one's family here...:rolleyes:
  
  KJ
  
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  JohnMcCabe 14 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Kevin Riley
  
  With Big Mike's sister, you better find a bar that closes real late.
  
  Kevin, I'm trying to be nice to the poor girl. I might have to sleep with her to get the beer...
  
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  1 reply
  
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  Kevin Riley 14 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by JohnMcCabe
  
  Kevin, I'm trying to be nice to the poor girl. I might have to sleep with her to get the beer...
  
  Dammit! You made rice come out of my nose.
  
  Note to self: Quit reading WF posts while eating lunch.
  
  Thanks
  
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  Kevin Riley, long-time Warrior living in Osaka, Japan
  
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Jill Carpenter

14 years ago

Originally Posted by JayXtreme

I just accept them and forget about them..

No offence to any of the people on my friends list, at all.

Here's the thing..

If somebody in this forum, is going to look at that list of "friends" and use it as some sort of gauge in a business relationship with me... then I'm probably not going to want any business relationship with them anyways...

Peace

Jay

I do look at the profile of who is asking. If it's a one shot one post wonder boy I pass. If I go and see someone who has been on a thread I was, tossed me a thank you perhaps or quoted me then I consider adding them on.

And I have have to admit (very guilty of this) I have not always asked permission first - if I see someone who is a person of interest who has really given me some information I felt was useful or someone I see doing really good things I'll just send the friend request.

I'm not expecting to go to these peoples houses and have dinner with them. Well, not unless they really want me to - but they should be forewarned I may not ever leave if the cooking is good.

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JayXtreme

14 years ago

Originally Posted by avenuegirl

I'm not expecting to go to these peoples houses and have dinner with them. Well, not unless they really want me to - but they should be forewarned I may not ever leave if the cooking is good.

What time should I be expecting you to arrive?

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Bare Murkage.........

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Jill Carpenter 14 years ago

Originally Posted by JayXtreme

What time should I be expecting you to arrive?

Oh Baby! You have a new friend request.
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- JayXtreme 14 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by avenuegirl
  
  Oh Baby! You have a new friend request.
  
  I'm SO gonna accept.. and not because of my "accept all" policy, honest!
  
  Bearing my previous post in mind... There are plenty of the "friends" on my list who I actually want there, and some that I requested myself..
  
  But, I don't think about it enough for it to be a bother...
  
  Peace
  
  Jay
  
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  Bare Murkage.........
  
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Matt Bard

14 years ago

In all seriousness, I kind of look at it as a list of people that I find interesting like Jill (avenuegirl) said.

Instead of wading through endless threads that I have seen for years, I see what the people that I enjoy reading are doing.

It is like a list that I can go to and click on a "Friend" see what they are reading and check out that thread.

It helps me head straight to the "good stuff"

Matt

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da1fitz

14 years ago

Errr holdin my side doh!!!
So what was dis thread all about again

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Why should I want to be your friend?

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