12 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}
12 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}

Good Story Swipe File?

by camcarter
9 replies
Hi all,

Anyone know of good story based sales letters or VSLs doing well in the business opportunity niche?

Thanks in advance.
#file #good #story #swipe
Avatar of Unregistered
  • Profile picture of the author Profit Traveler
    Banned
    Type this in Google...
    Best Copy Writing Story Samples.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11612196].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author GordonJ
    Originally Posted by camcarter View Post

    Hi all,

    Anyone know of good story based sales letters or VSLs in the business opportunity niche?

    I'm trying to learn story based selling and need some examples to look at.

    Thanks in advance.
    The story you tell has to resonate with the audience, like any good copy. There is a template for Biz-Op, which is a 100 years old.

    It goes something like:

    We were eating hamburger every night, now we are eating steak. Bud Weckesser made a fortune selling information via his Green Tree Press by telling these...

    BEFORE and
    AFTER
    stories.

    Joe Karbo wrote one of the greatest ads ever with his LAZY MAN'S ad, and in that ad, he told the story of living in a basement driving a beat up car to

    owning houses, boats and cars galore...or

    he painted a BEFORE and AFTER picture.

    Go to Youtube, type in Business opportunity and watch the first couple minutes of as many as you can stomach.

    You will see the BEFORE, down and out, lost soul, drifting on ocean without a rudder, not knowing what was happening, being out of control, deep in debt...etc., etc.

    which was BEFORE...

    the Biz-Op (whatever the offer) came into their lives and NOW, the after...

    be it boats with bikini clad ladies, or McMansions (often leased), fast cars, piles of cash...

    you will see the AFTER. And to get to the after, you just have to hand over the dough and follow directions and you too will be on the other side of desolation row.

    The secret to the story, is you make it resonate with the avatar of the given prospect. If selling to stay at home moms, you don't need some smarmy little a-hole talking about his Maz and Rolls Royce, see?

    The story has a beginning. A before.

    It has the depth, the bottom, the final straw...then the DISCOVERY.

    And a conclusion, happily ever after.

    You might want to read a few children's books, they may serve you better than some guru who will sell you the secrets to storyselling...

    But thems is the basicsl.

    GordonJ
    Signature
    CRITICAL money making info for 2025
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11612230].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author camcarter
      Originally Posted by GordonJ View Post

      The story you tell has to resonate with the audience, like any good copy. There is a template for Biz-Op, which is a 100 years old.

      It goes something like:

      We were eating hamburger every night, now we are eating steak. Bud Weckesser made a fortune selling information via his Green Tree Press by telling these...

      BEFORE and
      AFTER
      stories.

      Joe Karbo wrote one of the greatest ads ever with his LAZY MAN'S ad, and in that ad, he told the story of living in a basement driving a beat up car to

      owning houses, boats and cars galore...or

      he painted a BEFORE and AFTER picture.

      Go to Youtube, type in Business opportunity and watch the first couple minutes of as many as you can stomach.

      You will see the BEFORE, down and out, lost soul, drifting on ocean without a rudder, not knowing what was happening, being out of control, deep in debt...etc., etc.

      which was BEFORE...

      the Biz-Op (whatever the offer) came into their lives and NOW, the after...

      be it boats with bikini clad ladies, or McMansions (often leased), fast cars, piles of cash...

      you will see the AFTER. And to get to the after, you just have to hand over the dough and follow directions and you too will be on the other side of desolation row.

      The secret to the story, is you make it resonate with the avatar of the given prospect. If selling to stay at home moms, you don't need some smarmy little a-hole talking about his Maz and Rolls Royce, see?

      The story has a beginning. A before.

      It has the depth, the bottom, the final straw...then the DISCOVERY.

      And a conclusion, happily ever after.

      You might want to read a few children's books, they may serve you better than some guru who will sell you the secrets to storyselling...

      But thems is the basicsl.

      GordonJ

      Thank you Gordon!

      I'll look up that lazy man's ad you talked about. Sounds like a great resource.

      I'm writing copy for a client in the biz opp niche and have been seeing a lot of great story examples in other niches.. supplements etc but seeing what's worked well and actually sold well in the biz opp space helps provide greater insight into the deeper motivations of the market.

      Also thanks for the explanation.. that was a great lesson on story selling in ads.

      As you mentioned.. the "wrong" story won't connect well with the avatar. The story has to connect with their own deepest desires, fears, and be similar to what they're going through.

      Which is the reason I want to take a look at several biz opp offers that are doing well, to see the pattern in emotions being talked about... before/after lifestyle, their motivations for starting their own business.. etc.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11612655].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author newxxx
    or,

    type in at goog ...

    Best Sales Story Samples


    ----------

    i see this is your first posting, so welcome !!!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11612474].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author camcarter
      Originally Posted by newxxx View Post

      or,

      type in at goog ...

      Best Sales Story Samples


      ----------

      i see this is your first posting, so welcome !!!

      Thanks for the welcome

      Yeah I didn't find many good ones doing that.. a lot of blog posts about how to write sales stories though. To clarify better, since my original post was vague...

      I'm a semi-beginner copywriter and haven't written much for the biz opp niche, but am doing so now for a client in that niche.

      The only time I've done story ads so far is in the health niche.. those are easy.. someone has some health crisis / emergency.. needs to make immediate changes to their health.. blah blah blah

      Easy to make it emotional because they often have kids, if they die their kids are losing their dad/mom, etc...

      The client's personal story isn't impactful enough to use.. he wasn't broke starting out or desperate or anything like that. He kind of fell into it while working with a friend on something and ended up liking it.

      The best market research comes from looking at ads / products people are actually buying.

      So maybe a better question.. what products have been most popular in the biz opp space that you're aware of?

      Or what products have you purchased?

      A lot of biz opp offers talk about lambos and mansions etc.. but I feel like deep down, most people aren't motivated to start their own business for that reason.

      Some are, but I think there's much more to it. Even then... it's not really the lambo they're after, it's the emotion that'll come from the feeling of having high status.

      I see a lot of different angles though... which makes me curious.. I wonder are people more motivated by wanting to make a lot of money to have higher status or is it that they want to be able to work fewer hours than they are now while still making a comfortable living.

      Or is it just about working for yourself and not having to answer to a boss.

      Etc
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11612659].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    The diffrence between people tellin' you stories
    an' the people tellin' you how to tell stories
    is subtle,
    yet beyond rebuttal.
    Signature

    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11612517].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author camcarter
      Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

      The diffrence between people tellin' you stories
      an' the people tellin' you how to tell stories
      is subtle,
      yet beyond rebuttal.
      Sounds very philosophical and deep.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11612661].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Medon
    Originally Posted by camcarter View Post

    Hi all,

    Anyone know of good story based sales letters or VSLs in the business opportunity niche?

    I'm trying to learn story based selling and need some examples to look at.

    Thanks in advance.
    Looking at samples will corrupt your mind. I think you know your targeted audience better so coming up with the story yourself will make it authentic and help you to achieve your goal.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11612579].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author camcarter
      Originally Posted by Medon View Post

      Looking at samples will corrupt your mind. I think you know your targeted audience better so coming up with the story yourself will make it authentic and help you to achieve your goal.
      Thanks Medon.

      Normally I'd agree, the thing is I'm not in the biz opp space. I'm writing copy for a client selling in this niche.

      As I'm sure you know, there's a lot to learn from looking at ads that are selling well / have sold well in a particular market.

      And looking at story based offers in that market that are doing well is even more helpful since it gives insight into the emotions that are driving that particular market.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11612657].message }}
Avatar of Unregistered

Trending Topics