Dealing with people that think selling is evil

If they're business owners, they're unlikely to think selling is evil - that's what they're doing themselves. Your role is to show them how your product or service will benefit their business.

I wonder if your uncertainty stems from a lack of belief or confidence in what you're selling.

It's your job to position yourself as an advisor, not an evil money hungry con artist.

Language helps. Never say "I sold.." say "They invested in..."

If they ask how much commission you get, just say "The company takes care of their reps, just like they take care of their customers".

If you often get asked about your profit or commission, believe me, or if you repeatedly get the same objection, you are doing something to create that response. I know that's hard to hear.


And they don't think selling is evil. They think "what they believe selling to be" is evil. All business is buying and selling. Nothing happens in business until something is sold.

In a business, selling and marketing are the only things that contribute to growth. Everything else contributes to cost. Be proud. The single most common trait of a CEO is their ability to sell their ideas.

If anyone asks how you get paid, tell them "Most people get paid by the time they spend on the job. I get paid by how much service I render to my customers".

Added later; Sometimes, I hear "I only get paid on commission". But that's the wrong way to think. Who gets a salary? Employees. Who works on commission? Doctors, lawyers, entertainers, farmers, all business owners work on commission. Commission is more, not less. If you are wealthy, you got that way by earning a profit.

I know I'm not the only one who had their fingers crossed that Claude would chime in here - and glad he did The two re-frames above in particular I find so valuable. As the saying goes, 'you don't get rich renting out your time' (even for a high hourly wage). The leaders/CEOs considered the most "visionary" due to their effectiveness and impact (Jobs, Musk, etc) tend to be the most skilled at sales as well...

Thank you all for the replies. I have to be a bit careful here as this is public.

Many of the people I deal with have had a successful career in an arena where it's 'just them' pretty much. Their careers revolve around them employing their skills solo or with a small team.

That is a full, rewarding and successful career with almost zero corporate exposure to things like partnerships, sales, marketing, product development etc.

After that, some of them join our side of the industry and I partner with them. So it's almost like dealing with people in their first years of work. It takes a lot of hand-holding because it's common for them to say "I don't want to sell". Usually, it's just a matter of explaining why we are implementing certain things.

I myself pay affiliates 30%. I also have a few moderately successful relationships where I am the affiliate/reseller. Our biggest earner is with a marketing savvy firm that has no qualms about pay-outs and our slice is about half way to 7 figures a year. No complaints from them ever.

One of the other relationships is becoming problematic as the partner is looking at our slice and seeing it as a cost, rather than looking at their slice and seeing it as gravy. The primary has not come through the corporate world, has had no exposure to partnerships or sales or marketing at all. Day zero.

We were a reseller and we are losing that. That's done. No reversing it. No negotiation. It's changing.
We are being offered an affiliate deal that is not very attractive in its place.I never made much of a thing about what we had to do to get the sales. It looks like that's left them with the impression we did very little but sit back and earn.

So in our discussions today - the following things came across from their side:
- That there is another company that will push the product to their customers for free and that's the way it should be
- That we should all just sell our own respective products and not look for a %age of partner sales - because it's good for the customers
- That they have no plans to do any marketing as the product will be so good, people will find it
- That they don't like selling and we shouldn't sell it - but let people decide on their own
- (when I asked how they'd feel about a 50% split to feel them out) That it's their product and why should they give the money to someone else.
- That I got lucky with the prior reseller deal we struck, I think the implication is I took advantage of them at that point but I can't be sure. I still think it was an amazing deal for them.

So there is a huge gap in terms of understanding the time and costs of - acquiring leads, building rapport, matching people with a product and closing deals.

Unfortunately - I am on the other side of the negotiating table. So anything I say will I get treated like it's part of my strategy to sway them and I've told them - we have to both be comfortable with any deal we strike.

The crux of it is the belief that "selling is evil" and "if your product is great, you don't need sales/marketing anyway".

It's a tough nut to crack.

Thank them for their time and prior business, shake hands and let them go. That's my advice.



Be polite - burn no bridges - just tell them their proposal doesn't interest you...if their sales take a dive, you might hear from them again. If not, no loss as you can't change that mindset.

Not necessarily. Even the biggest names (Apple, Microsoft, Samsung, Nike, etc.) still need marketing and sales to sell. But again, they don't have to hard sell.

Another consideration to keep in mind. If a customer/client you've had a good working relationship with begins to question pricing, etc...very good chance someone is whispering in their ear.


I've had it happen twice as a freelance writer where another person had access to my client and offered to cut rates. The client won't tell you that but may try to 're-negotiate terms'.


Not something you can argue with...but you can be too busy to take that client back when the cheapo doesn't work out....

I've rarely "sold" anything. From B2B to working in a rent to own to my own store. People come to you looking for something, or you've set your hook and they bit.

I have always used the old FAB statements, Features, Advantages, Benefits.

The feature of this comment is that it is short, but informational.
The advantage is that it is a fast learn.
The benefit is that you can use this short read, but informational, comment as a guide over and over and over.

You make them WANT it, or, have your back up products ready for when they don't want that. If you're targeting their needs properly it's something that they will want anyway.

In my opinion selling is like recommendation. I don't sell just anything to anyone. I just offer what I have to offer and if the person on the other site feels good while hearing this offer, that good enough to close the recommendation.

I think salesman cannot be pushy.

You make them WANT it, or, have your back up products ready for when they don't want that. If you're targeting their needs properly it's something that they will want anyway.

I don't 'sell' anything. I recommend solutions.
It may be semantics from the 'selling' side of the exchange, but it is a big difference in the eyes of the prospect.
It is a well known adage in marketing that in order to 'sell', you need to offer a solution to a problem. It is also added on that you often need to create a 'perceived problem' in the mind of the prospect.
In Internet Marketing, and especially in Affiliate Marketing, you really don't need to create a need for your product or service. You simply need to search out those who are already expressing a need for your solution. You then need to create a presence in the forum in which you find them, and recommend your solution.
With so many affiliate programs available, you should only focus on those you have actually used yourself so that you can offer genuine recommendations and follow-up by answering any queries should they be asked.
Treat every prospect as a friend. How often do you recommend something you have had great results from to a friend that will help them solve a problem?
There is no need to be a 'snake oil salesman' in the modern world.

When people are desperate for money (i.e. clients), they don't approach it like this at all. You think, "Hey, if this person will buy from me, I'll take it, because I need the money." You end up trying to convince them to buy something that maybe they shouldn't buy. And that makes you a salesperson.

Right off the bat, you have to assume they're NOT a good fit, as much as they might be. And if they're not a good fit, you genuinely don't want to work with them.

You can say selling is also recommending... This is how is see stuff. I recommend people my thing and if they don't like it, need it or just want it & i am not pushy.

For me is not important that particular person buy. For me is important that people who buy from me, have value from me also.

I am in that kind of business, that when someone buy/partner with me, then the journey starts. And i am here for them to make them as successful as they can and want be.