The Answer...

The reason I am sitting here in deep thought before my computer tonight escapes me.

My mind is plagued, tormented by more than one immediate need or another and still I sit, staring blankly into the monitor.

Studious.

Bemused.

Concentrating intently yet without clear focus on something that lies just outside the edge of my conscious reach.

It haunts, tempts, cajoles me with taunting to peer closer, to realize its secret, its identity, and yet terrifies me with threats of disappearing before I am able to fully recognize the greatness of whatever "it" is.

Frustrated, I leave my seat time and time again only to return, each time more determined than the last to focus.

To see.

To know.

What is this mysterious "thing" that implores me to come back, to pay attention, to have a care and be ever so watchful - more watchful than ever I have been in my life?

Deep down, I know what it is, this tantalizing creature which ever tempts, promising great delight and unfathomable relief ... if I will but put a name and face to it.

It is the answer.

Not just any answer, but "the" answer.

The final, tiny piece of an intricate puzzle that has taken years of careful examination and the fitting together of thousands of intricate jigsaw shapes in trial-and-error fashion to complete.

This answer, she hovers, fully there, and yet ...

... a mere fraction of a hands breadth out of reach at the same time.

I must capture it!

The urge to do so is like a raging fire within me, a blazing inferno of determination - an obsession, wild and unchecked.

There is no other choice.

Aye, I must capture it ... but how?

* * * *

Just wanted to let all of you know I understand how frustrating it can be, to desperately want to know the answer to your problems and have that answer sit somewhere close, but right outside your reach.

Hang in there.

Don't give up.

She cannot hide forever.

Be patient, and you will both have her name and see her face, for she is wisdom - and what is wisdom but knowledge applied?

Tina