Can you be BRUTALLY honest? Like Simon Cowell Honest...?

I was looking forward to an opportunity to be "brutal" but it looks great and has all of the elements needed to be a high converting page.

The opt-in should be above the "fold".

There are three lines that bleed over the edge of the border.

They are the first two lines of the bullets and the first sentence of the last paragraph "Get yourself on the air tomorrow..."

I'm using Firefox. On my Internet Explorer the bullets don't go over the edge but the other sentence at the bottom still does.

Other than that, looks great.

Matt

I feel like I have to LOOK for the opt-in form, the top of the page above the fold doesn't make me want to scroll down further because nothing stands out and FORCES me to read to learn more, that's my 2 cents, good luck !

opt in form should be "above" the page. You should make it easy for the visitor to see the opt in form! I don't like scrolling. By saying that, you really need to change the layout of your squeeze page. Its has too sales pagey layout and for that reason you wont be able to put the opt in form on the right without scrolling.

What about a video to make user opt in. Show your mug shot on video so you can connect with your viewers. More trust can be earnt than a pic.

You have no future as an opera singer! Oh wait...you meant about the squeeze page

Sometimes, bullets and too much other stuff can decrease conversions. You might want to try making the page even simpler by taking away some stuff. And to repeat what others have said, having the form above the fold will definitely help. When I hit your page, I thought I landed on a sales page.

Curtis

Mark, I have a problem with the picture at the top.

When I first see it, I think, "here's a shouty hype guy yelling into an old-time microphone. Maybe it's a boxing announcer."

Then I think, "oh no, he's got a shouty hype guy twin on the other side of the page!"

Then I see that the page is asking me if I want to be like that, on the radio. Oh, so it's a radio ad. Well no, I actually don't want to learn how to become a shouty hype guy yelling into a microphone on the radio.

Could you replace one of the guys with, maybe, a radio tower rising above the landscape, putting radio waves out over the countryside and city skyline?

Could you have the other shouty hype guy joined by a second microphone user who's, oh, maybe someone who looks calm and mellow with something to say that doesn't need to be shouted?

Maybe the emotional associations are unique for me. But I had to overcome distaste about the image to even get to the text.

"Radio talk show host breaks silence" makes no sense. Wouldn't a silent radio talk show host get fired within a day?
How about replacing that with "Radio talk show host reveals how YOU can get into the broadcasting inner circle" or something like that?

Getting to present my news to millions of people on the radio? To this outsider, that sounds like it would take thousands of dollars of publicist work. How could that be worth only $27? And now it's free? Huh?

"Enter your first name.." should come AFTER "I will send you my free report." Before you say what you'll do, why in the world should I give you my email address? But if you first say you want to email me a report, of course you need my email address.

I'd take the section with "My name is..." through "you can accomplish all your goals..." and move it just before "You'll get real insider secrets." Explain that you're an insider, then it makes more sense that you're in a position to provide insider secrets.

I'm surprised you mentioned "all you need is a cell phone." I thought that for reliability and sound quality, radio stations preferred calls from land line phones?

I'd like to see something in the squeeze page about WHY a radio insider is giving away the insider tips to get on the air.

Is that enough of a Simon-style critique for you? Since I haven't heard you sing, I can't opine about that like Simon.

Chris

P.S. I'm curious about your report... would like to read it myself!

Hi Mark,

Great job on the squeeze page. I do think that there are probably some things that would make it even better...

I think the header only needs 1 radio man- not two

The headline could maybe lose the part about the "free report" - it kind of gives too much away and I know where it's heading. Sometimes it is better if you don't know where the path is leading- makes you want to follow it more. The headline up until that point does a pretty good job of creating intrigue and curiosity.

I also agree with Chris about the $27 report part- you are selling yourself short a bit there. This info is worth thousands to the average business owner, if you can save them thousands on advertising costs- plus the leads and income they could potentially generate from the exposure. Make sure they know this- spell it out for them. I still would move the "free report" references to further down the page.

You should begin by credentializing yourself - which you do quite nicely in the "Hi my name is Mark Kaye" part and then move into the 'free report' stuff.

Also I think you should say why you are giving the info away... People have an intinctive distrust of anything 'to good to be true' and the old 'there's no such thng as a free lunch' attitude is fairly widespread. If you don't tell them why it's free you may put some people off.

I think it is a pretty good start though and you've done a great job.

Rhiannon

Mark,

Not EVERYONE will get free publicity, and you have to figure that eventually it will get harder. With the new FTC rules, maybe you need a disclaimer, especially if you say TOMORROW. I am not a lawyer, but still... And yeah, I've probably heard all the tricks. My step mother runs a company where people pay her to write and place free articles in various magazines. And YEAH, I know the irony about how the FCC provided for some low cost and even free advertising, etc... Still... AND, TOMORROW!?!? That makes it even HARDER!

Steve

I can be brutally honest

While people do seem to have a lot of success with these sites, I hate them. If i come across a site like this while searching for something, I close it.

Rant aside..

I'd break up that giant block of text you have at the top. It's difficult to read. Break it down into two sentences or rewrite it.

There were a few other places on the page where the copy could have been tighter.

You're a radio guy, write it like it were a :30 spot or even a :04 ID. Cut the fat and every line should make an impact with as few words possible.

but, like I said before, I hate these sites

Now I could be a little old school on capture pages but this is my take

Anything you have to scroll down for is useless.

You can always put stuff below the fold ... just don't count on a high percentage of opt ins down there .

Frank is giving gold here

Video has no connection to radio and at this point of contact you are pushing a bait product for an opt in. You are not really important . The follow ups will make a connection if done correctly .

I would suggest getting a first name . Sometimes personalized email help convert . They really help with presenting yourself as a professional.

How many real world businesses would send you a snail mail welcome and not address you by name ?

Why do top real world salespeople make it a point to not only get your name quickly but use it when they address you ?

If you are not going with the audio... use as little text as possible .

The vehicle you use to get people to this capture page is more important than the actual capture page .

The people coming to the cap page should already be burnt up for what you have to offer .

If you have warmed the person landing on this page correctly .

If they are already to the point of must have .

They will pick your bait product up off of a dog turd . Blow it off and put it to use .

Okay. I love it so far! All great info. Thank you all around.

Good job Mark.

A photo pulls the eye into an ad. The two photos in the header pull my eye away from the message. They were the first thing I saw.

Using one photo on the left will pull a reader to the header - I think you have a good message in your header with the subtitle.

If you just move the entire website table to the left maybe 100 or 150 pixels this will give you room on the right to place an optin form at the top right. You can then follow that optin form with a repeat of the reasons to optin followed by another optin form - on and on down the page. Then readers can op in whenever they want while reading.l

I think this is an awsome product not just for IMers, but for any owner of a small business.

BTW I just saw the WSO in your signature and bought the product, downloaded it, and am about to burn the mp3s to a CD so I can play them in the car today.

Thank you. I am looking forward to this.

:-Don

Thanks again for all these INCREDIBLE tips!

I've completely re-done the page and am very happy with it:

TAKE TWO: FREE Radio Advertising & Publicity Get Booked On Radio Talk Shows

I really like the idea of adding audio to the page...I'll going to put something together in the next few days.

Thanks agin to everyone here. Reminds me again why this is the best resource for online entrepreneurs.

For me it was to generic and the form would scream "run away they ant my email" before drawing me into the page further, but hey it appears Im different to most others in the thread!

Hi Mark,

Wow, that is one Extreme Makeover Sales Letter Edition!

I've never cared for the "unattributed quote headline style," but if you are going to use it, be sure to include the closing quote.

The yellow box could use a slight rewording. I think the point is: The publicity is free, and the report that shows how you how to get the publicity is free! It took me a moment to figure out that this is the message.

I think you put the page on too much of a diet. Before "enter your name" would be a perfect place to have a paragraph or two about who you are and why you make the report available. "Hi, I'm Mark Kaye, with 30 years experience... audiences of three million people... I saw the secrets of how anyone can make themselves an instant star... I decided to share these tips with you... I created a complete course training people to book themselves into talk shows... The complete course is very detailed, but the tips to get free radio advertising for any business can be covered in just a few pages so I decided to make that part available for free!"

Its great- this exact model has worked wonders for Eben Pagan

Okay. I added audio, a photo, arrows....here is the final product:

FREE Radio Advertising & Publicity Get Booked On Radio Talk Shows

Conversions and opt-ins have already increased dramatically.

One more question though, for an opt-in page like this should I have a PRIVACY POLICY page and DISCLAIMER?

Hey Mark,

Wanna do some voice over work...........seriously?

Looks Good Enough, Drive Qualified Traffic.

Mark,
You nailed it. You got my info. One thing I would test out is create some urgency or scarcity by adding a 3 -5 minute count down clock. It has worked for me. "Enter in the next 3 minutes and get......"
Good Job...

Mark... in your ebook there is a slight error.. a missing zero in this line:

Alex Carroll sold over $1,00,000.00 in books doing radio interviews from his bed!

yes. Im english and we tend to be very direct.

Here are my thoughts Mark.

First. What results are you getting from it so far without changes?

Second. I think there might be a bit too much on that page, slightly cluttered. I might try as one of your testing methods to reduce a few things and work on the main headline, by creating variations and testing them

third.. Try without audio, after trying with.

Forth.. Try doing a video


By the way im familiar with Alex Caroll. They guy knows his stuff. I heard him speak in Los Angeles at a book Author seminar. It was top notch information he gave out. definately for people looking to get publicity via radio

Mark,

I've got to be brutally honest with you.

Your I in It will BLOW YOUR MIND!!! is not bold and italicized.

Seriously, it looks like you've put all the advice here to use - the page looks great!

Terrie