Judge my Landing Page

Handsome J

14 years ago

I like this site, Nice job man!

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todd40fla

14 years ago

hey shane....

overall a very nice job.....just a few minor things that stood out to me. if you are going to charge people $54/month to be members of your site...i would probably want to see SOME proof of income before taking the plunge.

the second video....the guy is sideways. is there some way to fix that....it just makes it look a little less professional. i would also want to hear more specifics from him about how much he makes. maybe a story or two with actual earning claims from a campaign he ran rather than saying he has enough for a car or college now.

also....there should be some type of money back guarantee. if you truly believe in what you are selling stand behind it. most membership sites such as this will let you kick the tires for a month or two with no risk. so why should someone sign up for yours if you are not willing to do so.

but overall i liked it. a very down home approach that works in many ways for the overall theme that you appear to be conveying....

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Floyd Fisher

14 years ago

Originally Posted by todd40fla

hey shane....

overall a very nice job.....just a few minor things that stood out to me. if you are going to charge people $54/month to be members of your site...i would probably want to see SOME proof of income before taking the plunge.

the second video....the guy is sideways. is there some way to fix that....it just makes it look a little less professional. i would also want to hear more specifics from him about how much he makes. maybe a story or two with actual earning claims from a campaign he ran rather than saying he has enough for a car or college now.

also....there should be some type of money back guarantee. if you truly believe in what you are selling stand behind it. most membership sites such as this will let you kick the tires for a month or two with no risk. so why should someone sign up for yours if you are not willing to do so.

but overall i liked it. a very down home approach that works in many ways for the overall theme that you appear to be conveying....

You might want to back off on that demand...as well as the money claims made on the page. Unless I miss my guess, that is now a pretty damned good way to get the FTC smackdown these days.

Get a lawyer who knows FTC regs to check that salespage out so you don't end up being a 'Teenage Riches to Rags' story.

Thanks

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MoneyRaker

14 years ago

I really like the graphics and all, because its very different from all the clutter around. Although I really don;t like the font (bit unprofessional), the overall look of site is very fresh.

And yes even i feel that you need to provide more proof and testimonials if you're looking to sell for $54.

Good Job!

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Affiliate.Solutions

14 years ago

Page looks good but you have the site: internetsuccess.com on the bottom... doesn't appear like you own it because it is a parked domain up for sale...

so get it off your page.

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yamahafzr

14 years ago

Thanks for all the feedback. I am working on the video thing because the player keeps playing it sideways. I will try and get some proof in there, but when i did it looked bad. I was debating over a money back guarantee because I think it would be abused, but maybe I will implement it.

Thanks

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Chris Worner

14 years ago

I hate to burst your bubble but you are in violation of the new FTC laws, if your going to make earnings claims such as the ones on your page, you will have to quantify the average result for a consumer. If you cannot do that then you must remove all earning claims. or change the testimonials so that they do not make specific earnings claims.

Also, $54 a month seems kinda steep compared to your competition who offer far greater services and content for less. If you wish to remain competitive I would suggest you lower the price to say $39.95. that seems to be the median.

Id also get rid of that link you have onb the bottom of the page as it has nothing there. Other than that nice job

Thanks
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Rubes

14 years ago

Originally Posted by skyfox7

I hate to burst your bubble but you are in violation of the new FTC laws, if your going to make earnings claims such as the ones on your page, you will have to quantify the average result for a consumer. If you cannot do that then you must remove all earning claims. or change the testimonials so that they do not make specific earnings claims.

Also, $54 a month seems kinda steep compared to your competition who offer far greater services and content for less. If you wish to remain competitive I would suggest you lower the price to say $39.95. that seems to be the median.

Id also get rid of that link you have onb the bottom of the page as it has nothing there. Other than that nice job

Totally agree with the above, also a couple other things to add.

Your headline doesn't provide the reader a benefit, you are talking about yourself to much and the reality is that people don't care about you, they only care about what's in it for them.

Try your hardest to connect emotionally with your readers within the first 4 paragraphs of your copy, at the moment you havn't connected emotionally at all, you saved that until the paragaph after your first video which is good but in the wrong position.

Once the reader can relate to your situation they are more likely to believe it.

About your first video; Pulling out 1 grand in cash is absolutely NOT proof of earnings, if you want anyone with half a brain to believe you earned that using your products methods you need to visually show them with proof, perhaps a camtasia video would work well here.

Remember, most people that come on your site would have already seen one of your competitors sites. You have to stand out somehow from the rest. I think you do that very well because you are not afraid to disclose your age and lots of younger people still in school can relate to that.

Also, a money back guarantee is absolutely crucial for a subscription service. Some people can get away with it for a once of payment but when you're taking $55.00 per month of someone with no proof or guarantee that it actually works, your going to be turning a lot of people off. Also drop the price, John Reese (one of the top IM globally) charges $45.00 per month for his membership site, are you trying to say your content is better than this? Until you can prove it is with the site and copy to go with it, just aim at volume over massive profit for the time being, it will pay off in the long run (big client list, sub list etc)

Hope that helps champ.

Thanks

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avani

14 years ago

Some quick reactions...

There are a few grammatical/stylistic errors, for example:

...following my "noob" month's

You likely mean months, without the apostrophe.

...and my 2 friends saw.

2 should be written out as "two" - at least I think that's the convention. Also, the sentence sounds choppy.

Some indication of what your methods are (or what they are not) would be reassuring.

The wording of the letter sounds too much like you are offering a get-rich-quick scheme, and I think most people realize that's not being realistic. At least emphasize that the one hour a day is important, and that this is not for people who aren't willing to put in anything at all in terms of time and effort. That tends to make the genuine folks connect with you.

You should certainly make it appear that it's easy to make money using your system, but overdoing it is dangerous, and you run the risk of giving your letter the "scammy" undertone that is certainly not desirable.

The bottom left corner of the "Let me in" button, the space between the corner and it's reflection, needs to have a transparent background, not white

I'm not a fan of the boldface font and the blue letters sticking out (try line break, center align instead?), but this could be just me.

Also, posting this in the copywriting forum may be more appropriate and/or you may get more detailed responses.

Best of luck!

Avani

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bocaj

14 years ago

It's gonna put in work dude..

Nice & Clean.

` jake

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ZachWaldman

14 years ago

The first time I went to the site, only half the site loaded so I couldn't scroll to read the rest. Refreshing fixed the problem but it did happen again when I came back on another visit.

I would consider making it free to join the site with an option to upgrade to paid status. If you have a free area, you can continue adding things to it that people have to log in to access.

Every time they log into their accounts to get the free stuff is another chance you get to offer a paid upgrade.

Currently, the way you have it, if people don't want to join, they go away and you don't collect their emails.

With the free area, you get to collect emails and make multiple offers. Overall, I think it's a great start.

Thanks

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Zach Waldman - Los Angeles Magician

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Judge my Landing Page

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