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Critique of Minisite -- First stab at it, be gentle

by Kappa
35 replies
www.best-mba.org

This is my first minisite/landing page. Please critique, let me know if you would be interested if you were in the market for an MBA. If anyone is working in the education niche, I would especially like your opinion. I am more concerned with the style and content, not so much the graphics because I am not a designer, I just purchased a package.
#critique #gentle #minisite #stab
  • Profile picture of the author SurviveUnemployment
    I like it. Would be better a bit darker, though. The subdued "click here" really made me want to click, but I'd put it directly at the bottom of the list to make sure they see it.
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  • Profile picture of the author ramohr
    Congradulations for doing it...Many people don't have the guts to get to step one.

    My biggest issue is you don't give me a reason why

    Why should I sign up for your site or optin.

    What's it in for me?

    For example...Do you want to get a great paying job and career in this economy?

    See Where the top MBA schools rank for getting their Grads High Paying jobs in the recession.

    Your site and graphics are good but your message needs work.

    Hope this helps
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    • Profile picture of the author Kappa
      Coolness, y'all are awesome!
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  • Profile picture of the author Sparhawke
    There should not be commas here:

    executive, and traditional

    weekend, and part-time



    I personally would stick to one single kind of font too rather than 3...
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    • Profile picture of the author Kappa
      Originally Posted by Sparhawke View Post

      There should not be commas here:

      executive, and traditional

      weekend, and part-time



      I personally would stick to one single kind of font too rather than 3...
      Thanks for the input! I only have 1 font, rankings are in bold, and bottom is regular. I will see if I can play around with it to make it look less hectic.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sparhawke
    It is not actually the type that is the problem, though it could be better defined but the silver font at the top, then the random militaristic green font under that, and then the bold font under that, then the unbolded hard to see font under that with a red click link thingy which I dont think does you any favours and then back to the silver again before topping it off with some generic "handwriting" font lol

    All in a neon green puke colour lol

    All with a group of people looking up at the sky with expressions on their face that suggests they have never seen a cloud before and are possibly wondering whether to kill it with sticks lol

    Sorry :p
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    • Profile picture of the author Kappa
      Originally Posted by Sparhawke View Post

      It is not actually the type that is the problem, though it could be better defined but the silver font at the top, then the random militaristic green font under that, and then the bold font under that, then the unbolded hard to see font under that with a red click link thingy which I dont think does you any favours and then back to the silver again before topping it off with some generic "handwriting" font lol

      All in a neon green puke colour lol

      All with a group of people looking up at the sky with expressions on their face that suggests they have never seen a cloud before and are possibly wondering whether to kill it with sticks lol

      Sorry :p
      Ok, well like I said, I did not do the graphics, this is a WSO package I purchased. It's not my thing, and I more than likely am not going to change the graphics. I will learn about that later, I need to start making minisites now and worry about the stuff you're talking about later. Like the previous poster said, I just got to a point where I wanted to take action and not feel overwhelmed by the process. The only other website I've ever done in life was a blogger blog, so this was a huge step for me. I think green is a nice honest color. Have personally never seen green puke before, green makes me think of nature, or maybe mint. I was more curious to know if there was anything about the page that would make a customer not click through, or if I was breaking some major cardinal rule of landing pages.
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Tracey
    I tend to agree with Sparhawk, however that's only my personal opinion, some people may like it.

    1 Further thing:- Your statement "get your business degree today" makes me think you're offering those scam degrees from non-accredited schools

    Michael
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    • Profile picture of the author Kappa
      Originally Posted by Michael Tracey View Post

      I tend to agree with Sparhawk, however that's only my personal opinion, some people may like it.

      1 Further thing:- Your statement "get your business degree today" makes me think you're offering those scam degrees from non-accredited schools

      Michael
      Ok, something more like "Get an MBA from a top program!"

      Coolness...
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  • Profile picture of the author Sparhawke
    It is not actually bad, it simply looks like it was cobbled together in 5 minutes and when you are trying to market 5 of the most prestigious and famous schools on the planet you want it to look professional and make it look like you spent time on it.

    I do not know your financial situation but I would think about hiring a design student, for the most part they should know at least about colour usage and what kind of colour sends the right message and then a copywriter or up and coming English student and other such "staff"

    Once you have got a few people outsourced to help you can put a small mention somewhere at the back of the website naming them which may or may not help them get work in the future depending upon how they perform and you can pay them pennies probably, since they don't have any professional standing they should be willing to do the work for a crate of beer or two.

    It needn't be expensive

    The colour you choose is of paramount importance, probably more so than absolutely everything else on your page as it is the first thing people see and works on a subconscious level

    It is interesting to note that the colour yellow is supposed to relieve depression which is why hospitals use it...babies have been known to cry upto 50% more in a room of this sickly yellow colour and if you get the wrong hue though it can cause anxiety in older people. It is the same with puke neon green, a good strong but light green can be very beneficial and relax people, neon green though just makes people nauseous.

    I would choose blue though for your webpage personally due to the fact that most parents or kids with good, solid, sensible heads on their shoulders are the ones who will be looking at your page, it denotes responsibility, trustworthiness and first place (as in winner) though a smidgeon of orange may not hurt, it shows adventure.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kappa
      Originally Posted by Sparhawke View Post

      It is not actually bad, it simply looks like it was cobbled together in 5 minutes and when you are trying to market 5 of the most prestigious and famous schools on the planet you want it to look professional and make it look like you spent time on it.

      I do not know your financial situation but I would think about hiring a design student, for the most part they should know at least about colour usage and what kind of colour sends the right message and then a copywriter or up and coming English student and other such "staff"

      Once you have got a few people outsourced to help you can put a small mention somewhere at the back of the website naming them which may or may not help them get work in the future depending upon how they perform and you can pay them pennies probably, since they don't have any professional standing they should be willing to do the work for a crate of beer or two.

      It needn't be expensive

      The colour you choose is of paramount importance, probably more so than absolutely everything else on your page as it is the first thing people see and works on a subconscious level

      It is interesting to note that the colour yellow is supposed to relieve depression which is why hospitals use it...babies have been known to cry upto 50% more in a room of this sickly yellow colour and if you get the wrong hue though it can cause anxiety in older people. It is the same with puke neon green, a good strong but light green can be very beneficial and relax people, neon green though just makes people nauseous.

      I would choose blue though for your webpage personally due to the fact that most parents or kids with good, solid, sensible heads on their shoulders are the ones who will be looking at your page, it denotes responsibility, trustworthiness and first place (as in winner) though a smidgeon of orange may not hurt, it shows adventure.
      Ok, you've said the most and given me the least implementable suggestions out of everyone. I think I made the initial disclaimer to avoid this type of overarching criticism that I know people generally do in this business because everyone has their own preferences, but apparently you are not hearing me. I really only wanted comments on the content, copy. You've commented on everything but. Hiring people is out of the question, I have all the time in the world to learn and wasting money and energy seeking out "students" who know no more about internet marketing than I do is a ridiculous suggestion.

      I don't know where you're going with the off topic ramblings about color, but I will split test with blue to see if that is a better color to work with.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sparhawke
    The reason I make the suggestion about colour is because it is not good to have a page that looks like Linda Blair threw up all over it.

    Changing the colour scheme probably is the most implementable thing you can do for immediate results.

    You get ONE chance to impress the people who might have a reason to take a look at your page and if you do not see that it is the entire package you should be improving then it doesn't really matter if you clean up a typo or two.

    I didn't once mention about hiring students full time but getting their help with the design, honestly...people looking at the sky??! Is that really the best you can come up with?

    I know I am always overly critical, but it is better that someone mentions it to you now rather than when you have driven everyone away

    Three of the most prestigious schools in the world, Yale, Oxford and Harvard all have a recurring theme that they share because it is tried, it is tested and it works.

    If you do not see it, they show great halls that show history and long standing values, yours screams portacabin community college lol

    It is never simply about the words, but the entire package.
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    • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
      Kappa, you would have lost me at the landing/splash page.

      If I was seriously in the market for an MBA program and came to your ranking page, I'd have scanned the list, given a sarcastic "Well, DUH" and moved on to another site. I'd have already known those were the top ranking schools.

      You might be better served trying a curiosity approach...

      "Everyone knows these are the most famous MBA schools in the USA

      [List them]

      But did you know that you can get a high quality business education from smaller and local programs? After all, only a small number of people get into these schools every year. Want to see some successful people who did not? Click here to see if you recognize any of these names"

      Follow that up with a page that lists some famous/rich people who went to smaller schools.

      Then send them to the CPA page.

      You already know about the format/color/graphics stuff, so I won't go there.
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      • Profile picture of the author Kappa
        Originally Posted by JohnMcCabe View Post

        Kappa, you would have lost me at the landing/splash page.

        If I was seriously in the market for an MBA program and came to your ranking page, I'd have scanned the list, given a sarcastic "Well, DUH" and moved on to another site. I'd have already known those were the top ranking schools.

        You might be better served trying a curiosity approach...

        "Everyone knows these are the most famous MBA schools in the USA

        [List them]

        But did you know that you can get a high quality business education from smaller and local programs? After all, only a small number of people get into these schools every year. Want to see some successful people who did not? Click here to see if you recognize any of these names"

        Follow that up with a page that lists some famous/rich people who went to smaller schools.

        Then send them to the CPA page.

        You already know about the format/color/graphics stuff, so I won't go there.
        Thanks for this, this sounds like a really nice concept. I'm going to run with it if you don't mind:p I disagree that people who are in the market for business degrees know what the top national schools are, I know people who who believe their local state college programs are in the top 5. I guess I am trying to get people who would be interested in a "lifestyle" program by giving them a piece of information they might find interesting to know. People who can get into a top 5 national program already know who they are so to speak, I'm actually not marketing to them really, but people who want local, part time, online, or otherwise "easy" programs to get into and complete. I think your idea would grab the folks I'm looking for.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kappa
      Originally Posted by Sparhawke View Post

      The reason I make the suggestion about colour is because it is not good to have a page that looks like Linda Blair threw up all over it.

      Changing the colour scheme probably is the most implementable thing you can do for immediate results.

      You get ONE chance to impress the people who might have a reason to take a look at your page and if you do not see that it is the entire package you should be improving then it doesn't really matter if you clean up a typo or two.

      I didn't once mention about hiring students full time but getting their help with the design, honestly...people looking at the sky??! Is that really the best you can come up with?

      I know I am always overly critical, but it is better that someone mentions it to you now rather than when you have driven everyone away

      Three of the most prestigious schools in the world, Yale, Oxford and Harvard all have a recurring theme that they share because it is tried, it is tested and it works.

      If you do not see it, they show great halls that show history and long standing values, yours screams portacabin community college lol

      It is never simply about the words, but the entire package.
      I'm done with you. Everyone else has tried to help except you, if you have some suggestions, make them. There is a difference between constructive criticism, and being rude. Rudeness= OMFG neon green puke! Constructive criticism= Try out a blue background, in my opinion it is a better way to attract your market. Get some home training, no need to answer anything else on this thread.
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      • Profile picture of the author Sparhawke
        Originally Posted by Kappa View Post

        I'm done with you. Everyone else has tried to help except you, if you have some suggestions, make them. There is a difference between constructive criticism, and being rude. Rudeness= OMFG neon green puke! Constructive criticism= Try out a blue background, in my opinion it is a better way to attract your market. Get some home training, no need to answer anything else on this thread.
        You want suggestions, I'll give you three right now:

        Get rid of the neon green colour and choose something better, something more fitting to what you are marketing.

        Choose one or two font types and stick to those rather than several.

        Get rid of the image of the 5 cloud-killers gurning at the sky.

        Fix the grammar that I mentioned in my first post.

        Fix the problems that get spotted as they are spotted by people, no one likes a time waster who constantly asks for suggestions but never implements them. You first posted this two days ago, what is taking you so long in updating it and fixing the problems people see?

        If you don't like my directness then that is too bad, the next 1000 people who land on your page won't bother to tell you, they will simply go looking somewhere else.
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        • Profile picture of the author Kappa
          Originally Posted by Sparhawke View Post

          You want suggestions, I'll give you three right now:

          Get rid of the neon green colour and choose something better, something more fitting to what you are marketing.

          Choose one or two font types and stick to those rather than several.

          Get rid of the image of the 5 cloud-killers gurning at the sky.

          Fix the grammar that I mentioned in my first post.

          Fix the problems that get spotted as they are spotted by people, no one likes a time waster who constantly asks for suggestions but never implements them. You first posted this two days ago, what is taking you so long in updating it and fixing the problems people see?

          If you don't like my directness then that is too bad, the next 1000 people who land on your page won't bother to tell you, they will simply go looking somewhere else.
          ,what's taking me so long? Go do yourself in, guy, seriously, I asked you not to respond. Anyways...
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        • Profile picture of the author Kappa
          Originally Posted by Sparhawke View Post

          You want suggestions, I'll give you three right now:

          Get rid of the neon green colour and choose something better, something more fitting to what you are marketing.

          Choose one or two font types and stick to those rather than several.

          Get rid of the image of the 5 cloud-killers gurning at the sky.

          Fix the grammar that I mentioned in my first post.

          Fix the problems that get spotted as they are spotted by people, no one likes a time waster who constantly asks for suggestions but never implements them. You first posted this two days ago, what is taking you so long in updating it and fixing the problems people see?

          If you don't like my directness then that is too bad, the next 1000 people who land on your page won't bother to tell you, they will simply go looking somewhere else.
          I just checked out your blog, and the print is so fine, and the contrast so inappropriate so as not to be legible. Comma splices, fragments, and everything else is making it totally incomprehensible. Work on your own stuff.
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  • Profile picture of the author Floyd Fisher
    Originally Posted by Kappa View Post

    www.best-mba.org

    This is my first minisite/landing page. Please critique, let me know if you would be interested if you were in the market for an MBA. If anyone is working in the education niche, I would especially like your opinion. I am more concerned with the style and content, not so much the graphics because I am not a designer, I just purchased a package.
    Looking at it right now, and it really looks like a navigation nightmare.

    For example, you have a button at the top of the page that says 'best mba program listings now!', further down the page you have a 'click here' link, then at the bottom is a couple of nav links.

    Would I click on that mess? Probably not.

    That is just one of many problems. PM me and let's fix this.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kappa
      Originally Posted by Floyd Fisher View Post

      Looking at it right now, and it really looks like a navigation nightmare.

      For example, you have a button at the top of the page that says 'best mba program listings now!', further down the page you have a 'click here' link, then at the bottom is a couple of nav links.

      Would I click on that mess? Probably not.

      That is just one of many problems. PM me and let's fix this.
      It's actually not a button at the top, it's a sub-headline, but looking at it it does look like a button. I don't really need a sub-headline, I am going to work on the concept above a bit, then see if I even need anything like that.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kevin_Hutto
    Without reading every post, your click here link should be more visible and better placed. Also, it would really pop if your button was red... maybe a red arrow pointing to the link too... Also, on your content, you need a little more pre-sell.. give some more info... maybe give a couple of bullets about each college, etc...
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  • Profile picture of the author mysteryleaves
    The site seems great to me the back ground could be a little darker otherwise looks good
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    • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
      Originally Posted by Kappa View Post

      Thanks for this, this sounds like a really nice concept. I'm going to run with it if you don't mind:p I disagree that people who are in the market for business degrees know what the top national schools are, I know people who who believe their local state college programs are in the top 5. I guess I am trying to get people who would be interested in a "lifestyle" program by giving them a piece of information they might find interesting to know. People who can get into a top 5 national program already know who they are so to speak, I'm actually not marketing to them really, but people who want local, part time, online, or otherwise "easy" programs to get into and complete. I think your idea would grab the folks I'm looking for.
      If I minded you using it, I wouldn't have put it on a public forum. Tuck the ball high and tight, and hit the hole running...

      Yeah, I guess I should have said "candidates for the top schools already know what the top schools are." My bad for being general.

      When you have some results, I'd love an update...
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      • Profile picture of the author Kappa
        Originally Posted by JohnMcCabe View Post

        If I minded you using it, I wouldn't have put it on a public forum. Tuck the ball high and tight, and hit the hole running...

        Yeah, I guess I should have said "candidates for the top schools already know what the top schools are." My bad for being general.

        When you have some results, I'd love an update...
        Eww, that sounds a little inappropriate :p
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        • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
          Originally Posted by Kappa View Post

          Eww, that sounds a little inappropriate :p
          I should know better than to post with ESPN on in the background...
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    • Profile picture of the author Bjarne Eldhuset
      Hi, I took a look at your site.

      I'm not a copywriter, but I think your squeeze page could better portray what I'm getting a feeling you're trying to say:

      "Don't let all that hard work get you an useless MBA. Our intel will let you take the right choise, so you can get that business degree that will make your parents proud, get your colleagues to respect you and make your boss give you a raise"
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  • Profile picture of the author Istvan Horvath
    First of all I don't like your attitude. If you want an honest (=useful) opinion, then forget all the 'please-be-gentle-I-am-new' type of PC-speak.
    Quite often you can learn the most from those that confront you with a very painful truth.

    Now to the critique part.
    You got already good advice regarding the re-wording of your text. As it was initially, I didn't even notice the "click here" link, just the big bold list.
    What's worse, by accidentally hovering over your header area, I noticed it was linkable (cursor changes). I clicked - and nothing. And again nothing.

    Even if you claim that you are not interested in addressing issues with the package that you purchased: the usual WP setup that the whole header is clickable is not good for your landing page. It distracts.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kappa
      Originally Posted by Istvan Horvath View Post

      First of all I don't like your attitude. If you want an honest (=useful) opinion, then forget all the 'please-be-gentle-I-am-new' type of PC-speak.
      Quite often you can learn the most from those that confront you with a very painful truth.

      Now to the critique part.
      You got already good advice regarding the re-wording of your text. As it was initially, I didn't even notice the "click here" link, just the big bold list.
      What's worse, by accidentally hovering over your header area, I noticed it was linkable (cursor changes). I clicked - and nothing. And again nothing.

      Even if you claim that you are not interested in addressing issues with the package that you purchased: the usual WP setup that the whole header is clickable is not good for your landing page. It distracts.
      You are free to KIM, no one here is obligated to respond or not respond. I have been very receptive in this thread who all who have provided constructive criticism, I am not married to this website, so nothing you could possibly say is going to be "painful" or "very painful."

      Thanks for the suggestions about the header.
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  • Profile picture of the author rgenterprise
    The color is a bit distracting. Mabye a darker shade of green in the background would look better.
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  • Profile picture of the author Lucas Adamski
    The first thing that come to my mind when I think about MBA programs is dark blue color. You will find that a lot of universities uses blue color for authority and trust reasons. Color choice is very important and green one - especially such a bright one - is just killing the whole experience. You are thinking about flowers and grass, weight loss program entering your site, not MBA programs. Also the good idea would be to make Click here text bigger, make it to stand out a little more. Add some buttons, call to actions, make your message 'scream' more, to get attention.

    That's just couple of tips from me.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kappa
      Originally Posted by deadastronaut0 View Post

      The first thing that come to my mind when I think about MBA programs is dark blue color. You will find that a lot of universities uses blue color for authority and trust reasons. Color choice is very important and green one - especially such a bright one - is just killing the whole experience. You are thinking about flowers and grass, weight loss program entering your site, not MBA programs. Also the good idea would be to make Click here text bigger, make it to stand out a little more. Add some buttons, call to actions, make your message 'scream' more, to get attention.

      That's just couple of tips from me.
      Thanks,working on it now, having some technical problems but we'll get there...
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      • Profile picture of the author ozduc
        Call to action?

        click here (I would've made it smaller if I could.)
        buried somewhere in that text that is aligned left.

        Center your call to action on it's own line. Add a button or make it
        Big and Bold.

        Your header or footer looks like the link I am supposed to click on.
        Oh now I just realized your call to action takes me to a list of names on another page, that are there for what reason?
        Your landing page should only be one page with the desired effect,
        which is to get them to click and enter their zip code I presume?
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        • Profile picture of the author Strange
          errr, sorry Kappa don't really like your attitude, but what do i know about sales pages ive never made a sales page in my life, but come on, it does look like puke lol.

          Sparhawke was simpy giving his honest opinion which i pretty much agree with everything he said, so i'm not gonna list all what he said.

          Are you using wordpress? you can find plenty of free themes which shows a basic concept of a website, i.e. navigation bar, footer e.t.c. I would go in that direction, the majority of themes have a sidebar but you can easily remove this.

          Large CLICK HERE graphics you want, surely there is a button generator on the web.

          Probably one of the best sites i use for color schemes for any website i design is a site called color combos, look it up on G.

          Hope this helps, no hard feelings.

          Matt
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          • Profile picture of the author Sparhawke
            Originally Posted by Kappa View Post

            I just checked out your blog, and the print is so fine, and the contrast so inappropriate so as not to be legible. Comma splices, fragments, and everything else is making it totally incomprehensible. Work on your own stuff.
            I know my market and I know what they expect and respond to and they know my writing style as I have been a very famous forumer in that field for over 3 years...it is very much a work in progress and I am swapping it onto a dedicated website soon, it is just for the interim. I am simply limited to blogspots templates right now.

            Also, please explain for reasons for critique as well, no good saying "comma" "fragments" and leaving it at that. At least I said exactly what was wrong with your page and explained it in the viewpoint of someone who was first falling on it.

            Originally Posted by deadastronaut0 View Post

            The first thing that come to my mind when I think about MBA programs is dark blue color. You will find that a lot of universities uses blue color for authority and trust reasons. Color choice is very important and green one - especially such a bright one - is just killing the whole experience. You are thinking about flowers and grass, weight loss program entering your site, not MBA programs. Also the good idea would be to make Click here text bigger, make it to stand out a little more. Add some buttons, call to actions, make your message 'scream' more, to get attention.

            That's just couple of tips from me.
            Thank you!

            Originally Posted by Strange View Post

            errr, sorry Kappa don't really like your attitude, but what do i know about sales pages ive never made a sales page in my life, but come on, it does look like puke lol.

            Sparhawke was simpy giving his honest opinion which i pretty much agree with everything he said, so i'm not gonna list all what he said.
            Anyone in the world is allowed to ignore me, I just always give honest criticism when they ask for it, I never attack someone personally and don't believe in that.

            I just feel Kappa that if you change your colour schemes, the fonts, the whole wording, the graphics and start again on it from scratch you will have far more success in the future...but then again, it is your dime.
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  • Profile picture of the author AMRTrading
    Probably a good idea to show the reader exactly WHY they are reading the page, show them WHAT they are getting, and provide a call to action towards the end, you want to look at the webpage and immediately know what it's about, what you want them to do!

    Some good graphics though, I reckon it's a good start!
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