Does My Landing Page Suck? Your Reviews Please

30 replies
Was hoping you all could help me out with an honest review of my new landing page. I'm new at the web design aspect, so I'd really value your opinions.

There are two different options below. Which one is better?

Notice how I include the links at the bottom (only the first 2 are active...linking between the 2 sites below). Is this a good idea?

What about design, copy, and all that jazz? Just whatever thoughts you have.

Thanks to all.

Custom Keyword Services - Request A Free Quote | Your Main Keyword

How Keyword Research Works | Your Main Keyword
#landing #page #reviews
  • Profile picture of the author craigc1980
    Looks pretty good to me.

    I would change the headline a bit.

    Take the custom keyword services out.

    Make it more eye catching.

    Heres an easy way to find profitable buying keywords and dominate google for any niche

    How i find profitable buying keywords and dominate google for any niche.

    Something like that.

    Everything else looks pretty good.

    Maybe accentuate some of your key points

    Make them bolder

    Maybe even a different color

    Keep up the good work

    Craig
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    • Profile picture of the author Derek_Thomas
      Thanks for the feedback!

      Originally Posted by craigc1980 View Post

      Looks pretty good to me.

      I would change the headline a bit.

      Take the custom keyword services out.

      Make it more eye catching.

      Heres an easy way to find profitable buying keywords and dominate google for any niche

      How i find profitable buying keywords and dominate google for any niche.

      Something like that.

      Everything else looks pretty good.

      Maybe accentuate some of your key points

      Make them bolder

      Maybe even a different color

      Keep up the good work

      Craig
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      Thousands of happy Warriors agree...
      This service is a MUST - so worth it - Barry C.
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    • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
      Originally Posted by craigc1980 View Post

      Looks pretty good to me.

      I would change the headline a bit.

      Take the custom keyword services out.

      Make it more eye catching.

      Heres an easy way to find profitable buying keywords and dominate google for any niche

      How i find profitable buying keywords and dominate google for any niche.

      Something like that.

      Everything else looks pretty good.

      Maybe accentuate some of your key points

      Make them bolder

      Maybe even a different color

      Keep up the good work

      Craig
      I agree other then that Great Job!

      -WD
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      "As a man thinks in his heart so is he-Proverbs 23:7"

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      • Profile picture of the author VegasVince
        Hey bro.....will you be using Google Adwords to drive traffic to this page?

        If so, let me know.....will be able to give you my thoughts.

        If not......it's not too damn bad.

        JUST REMEMBER THE OBJECTIVE OF A SQUEEZE PAGE....WHICH IS TO GET AN OPT IN.

        DO THIS BY HAMMERING HOME THE ULTIMATE END BENEFIT TO THE USER......NOT THE FRIGGIN' FEATURES...AKA BELLS AND WHISTLES.

        Too many marketers waste their one and only chance to capture a customer...... screwing around touting the features on a squeeze page.....for offers their prospects might have actually wanted had they bothered to opt in.

        But they didn't.

        For example...one client of mine was in the tanning bed business......which he reflected in his squeeze page. Few opt ins....and I knew why.

        Women don't care about the tanning beds....or the tanning bed business.

        They want to get to get tan and sexy and fast....! Why? To impress themselves, their co workers, the Jones Family......or the dude they are about to dump their loser of an old man for...etc etc. Why ask why...just know what your customer really wants.

        GET HOT IN 20 MINUTES......a simple tweak.....and by the way......we increased opt ins by 62%.....and I wonder why? LOL.


        Note: Keep in mind the fact you actually have a little survey on your page...may cut down on opt in's but that could be a good thing.....as it provides a little more "qualification".


        Good luck, bro.


        xxx Vegas Vince
        Legend.


        p.s. As most of you'se know.....I can barely turn on a computer. Sylvia Rolfe and I are kicking serious ass via adwords.... in then our niche using bloggerblogs with one relative YOU TUBE VIDEO......and lots of hyper links that go to the squeeze page.

        We are paying WAY less per click then the big boys.......and we continue to dominate.

        Blogger Blog and You Tube are both owned by Google I believe....might be why they show me so much love...because I know what the competition pays...and we are thumping their ass.....and they still are running below us....despite much higher bids. lol.

        Nope... no product to sell on adwords....just something cool I wanted to share.....as blogger blogs are pretty damn easy for us technically challenged types. Gonna test a variation of it for a CPA offer on NeverBlue....will let ya know how it does. peace.
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        • Profile picture of the author Derek_Thomas
          Originally Posted by VegasVince View Post

          Hey bro.....will you be using Google Adwords to drive traffic to this page?

          If so, let me know.....will be able to give you my thoughts.

          If not......it's not too damn bad.

          JUST REMEMBER THE OBJECTIVE OF A SQUEEZE PAGE....WHICH IS TO GET AN OPT IN.

          DO THIS BY HAMMERING HOME THE ULTIMATE END BENEFIT TO THE USER......NOT THE FRIGGIN' FEATURES...AKA BELLS AND WHISTLES.

          Too many marketers waste their one and only chance to capture a customer...... screwing around touting the features on a squeeze page.....for offers their prospects might have actually wanted had they bothered to opt in.

          But they didn't.

          For example...one client of mine was in the tanning bed business......which he reflected in his squeeze page. Few opt ins....and I knew why.

          Women don't care about the tanning beds....or the tanning bed business.

          They want to get to get tan and sexy and fast....! Why? To impress themselves, their co workers, the Jones Family......or the dude they are about to dump their loser of an old man for...etc etc. Why ask why...just know what your customer really wants.

          GET HOT IN 20 MINUTES......a simple tweak.....and by the way......we increased opt ins by 62%.....and I wonder why? LOL.


          Note: Keep in mind the fact you actually have a little survey on your page...may cut down on opt in's but that could be a good thing.....as it provides a little more "qualification".


          Good luck, bro.


          xxx Vegas Vince
          Legend.


          p.s. As most of you'se know.....I can barely turn on a computer. Sylvia Rolfe and I are kicking serious ass via adwords.... in then our niche using bloggerblogs with one relative YOU TUBE VIDEO......and lots of hyper links that go to the squeeze page.

          We are paying WAY less per click then the big boys.......and we continue to dominate.

          Blogger Blog and You Tube are both owned by Google I believe....might be why they show me so much love...because I know what the competition pays...and we are thumping their ass.....and they still are running below us....despite much higher bids. lol.

          Nope... no product to sell on adwords....just something cool I wanted to share.....as blogger blogs are pretty damn easy for us technically challenged types. Gonna test a variation of it for a CPA offer on NeverBlue....will let ya know how it does. peace.
          Hey guy, thanks for the great advice.

          I'm not currently running Adwords, but I might. Either way, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

          Yeah, it is a "longer" survey, but I suspect that most of the traffic will have been funneled from my other sources. I'm not promoting this landing page as my main traffic vehicle, just as an avenue to collect my clients niche information. For the services I provide, each piece of information is pretty essential.

          Here's an example of my main traffic landing page. It's much more simple. There are really no features described, but not alot of benefits either. What do you think?

          http://yourmainkeyword.com/keyword-research-shortcut/


          Thanks,
          Derek
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          Thousands of happy Warriors agree...
          This service is a MUST - so worth it - Barry C.
          Derek is a keyword genius - Alan W.
          The results are incredible - page one already! - Navia B.
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  • Profile picture of the author Steve Faber
    Take out the "free quote" offer and have an opt in for a short, free report. That way you'll get a high opt in because you're giving them something of value, then, in a follow up you can offer the free quote. You could use the report you have on your blog as the opt in lure.

    I would change your headline and intro to something like:

    Attention Business Owner - Would You Like A Flood of Buyers to Your Website, Wallets in Hand, Ready to Finally the Fulfill the Promise of the Internet Gold Rush?

    Well, you'll never get those hungry visitors if you aren't being found for the right Search Engine Keywords. We not only make sure that you rank highly for your choice buying keywords, we'll make your listing the one they click on!

    ..............or something like that.
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    • Profile picture of the author Derek_Thomas
      Very, very cool. Thanks for the great headline idea.

      I also understand what you're saying about the free quote offer. I've got a similar landing page for the free report...which is my primarily list building vehicle...but I still needed an outlet to offer the free quotes.

      Many thanks!
      Derek


      Originally Posted by opportunitiesaplenty View Post

      Take out the "free quote" offer and have an opt in for a short, free report. That way you'll get a high opt in because you're giving them something of value, then, in a follow up you can offer the free quote. You could use the report you have on your blog as the opt in lure.

      I would change your headline and intro to something like:

      Attention Business Owner - Would You Like A Flood of Buyers to Your Website, Wallets in Hand, Ready to Finally the Fulfill the Promise of the Internet Gold Rush?

      Well, you'll never get those hungry visitors if you aren't being found for the right Search Engine Keywords. We not only make sure that you rank highly for your choice buying keywords, we'll make your listing the one they click on!

      ..............or something like that.
      Signature
      Thousands of happy Warriors agree...
      This service is a MUST - so worth it - Barry C.
      Derek is a keyword genius - Alan W.
      The results are incredible - page one already! - Navia B.
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  • Profile picture of the author actionplanbiz
    It Looks Good to Me

    Maybe a little too much copy but for that form then it might be necessary.

    but looks good IMO. good stuff
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  • Profile picture of the author Trieu
    Doesn't look that bad. The template you used is one of Dylan Jones, ones of my favorite designers. It'll be nice if you can find space to add a picture too
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  • Profile picture of the author SteveRenner
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    • Profile picture of the author kenboss
      HI Derek: In terms of critique I am focusing on the second option:

      Originally Posted by SteveRenner View Post


      (I think the word Buying is not needed at all, instead use Fast, people like Fast)

      "Here's The Fastest, Easiest Way To Find Profitable
      Keywords And Dominate Google For Any Niche"


      With great respect to Steve Renner, I agree about "Fastest", but strongly disagree that Buying is not needed. I would not only leave the word BUYING in, I would especially emphasize it.

      I am saying this because that is the word that actually did arouse my interest when I first saw the headline, without any critique in mind. "Profitable keywords" is to me generalized and overused, and would have been less likely to grab my attention, whereas getting help to identify keywords that signal BUYING intent is specific and appealing, to me at least.

      And perhaps Uncover, as opposed to merely Find? As in:

      The Fastest, Easiest Way to Uncover Profitable BUYING Keywords, and Dominate Google in Any Niche

      Also: "All you need to do is enter in your information below so we know where to send your keyword research guide"
      IMHO, this is way too wordy and explanatory. Think about who you are targeting here. Almost anyone who is going to take serious interest in a Keyword Research guide has probably been shopping around in the Internet Marketing field, already knows the drill, & seen many opt-in pages before - it just needs something snappy and compelling like :
      GET INSTANT ACCESS - Just enter your name and email below!


      Also, I immediately notice a strange contradiction between :
      ($97.00 Value)
      and then "You will be getting the exact system that others have paid thousands of dollars for." Huh?? Which is it? ... is my immediate reaction.
      That second statement has zero credibility anyway, as it just seems to come out of nowhere. You need to tell me how that could be the case. As it is, I still need convincing that it's worth $97, let alone thousands.

      Please don't take the above statements personally, I am telling you what goes through my head as someone stumbling upon this page!

      HOWEVER I think DO think the big ecover looks fantastic, very impactful, wouldn't want it any smaller.

      Hope this helps!

      cheers
      Ken
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    • Profile picture of the author Derek_Thomas
      Originally Posted by SteveRenner View Post

      Her Derek,
      I like the one with the Picture. I would add one word to your Headline
      - plus - "Quotes"

      "Here's The Easiest Way To ..."

      Also change Font to Tahoma and increase Font Size by at least 2px.

      (I think the word Buying is not needed at all, instead use Fast, people like Fast)

      "Here's The Fastest, Easiest Way To Find Profitable
      Keywords And Dominate Google For Any Niche"


      Then add 2 words to front of Sub Head (see underline)

      Get Your Free Step-By-Step Guide

      then and 1 word to the end - plus - Explanation Point

      Get Your Free Step-By-Step Guide Now!


      The rest looks great.

      If you plan to use Google PPC - you should have a Terms, Privacy and Contact
      links at the bottom. These can be Java Script pop ups in separate windows.

      I really like the simple tweak ideas to the Headline. Thanks a lot!

      Derek
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      Thousands of happy Warriors agree...
      This service is a MUST - so worth it - Barry C.
      Derek is a keyword genius - Alan W.
      The results are incredible - page one already! - Navia B.
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  • Profile picture of the author The GoTo Team
    Personally I would prefer the first link.

    On the first, everyone is given the option to give you their email and download this product, as oppose to being overwhelmed and pretty much forced to do so.
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    • Profile picture of the author Derek_Thomas
      Originally Posted by The GoTo Team View Post

      Personally I would prefer the first link.

      On the first, everyone is given the option to give you their email and download this product, as oppose to being overwhelmed and pretty much forced to do so.
      Not sure what you mean by forced to? Any clarifying thoughts?

      Thanks,
      Derek
      Signature
      Thousands of happy Warriors agree...
      This service is a MUST - so worth it - Barry C.
      Derek is a keyword genius - Alan W.
      The results are incredible - page one already! - Navia B.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mobosorous
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    • Profile picture of the author Derek_Thomas
      Originally Posted by Mobosorous View Post

      Hi derek,

      Just wantes to ask you something...

      I've seen quite a few cool squeeze pages like yours with the same template...

      Where did you get that template from? Because it's really good.
      Thanks! It's a pretty common template, but I actually had a friend set it up for me. Teo gives credit to the original designer...

      Originally Posted by Teo View Post

      Doesn't look that bad. The template you used is one of Dylan Jones, ones of my favorite designers. It'll be nice if you can find space to add a picture too
      Thanks,
      Derek
      Signature
      Thousands of happy Warriors agree...
      This service is a MUST - so worth it - Barry C.
      Derek is a keyword genius - Alan W.
      The results are incredible - page one already! - Navia B.
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  • Profile picture of the author markgilbert
    Got enough here to make 5 or 6 good optin forms now Derek. Way to go!
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  • Profile picture of the author The GoTo Team
    Its definitely good examples. Im still leaning towards the first one because its attention grabbing but not overwhelming.
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  • Profile picture of the author JayTylor
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    • Profile picture of the author The GoTo Team
      Originally Posted by JayTylor View Post

      no not really
      Jay. Your posts make no sense they are only a few words seemingly aimed at getting a higher post count. I dont understand what you are saying, could you enlighten me?
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  • Profile picture of the author Jesus Perez
    If you're reading my post, and haven't read Vegas Vince's, then you should give yourself a thorough kick in the butt.
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  • Profile picture of the author butters
    Err the only feed back I can give you is this and this is the best feed back anyone can give you... In numbers we trust... Its that simple, TEST, TEST, TEST, TEST.
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  • Profile picture of the author misterkailo
    "You will be getting the exact system that others have paid thousands of dollars for. All you need to do is enter in your information below so we know where to send your keyword research guide."

    Perhaps you should get rid of all that. This will bring your form higher up on the page so it is more noticable.
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  • Profile picture of the author WhamSoft
    I think the second one (with the ebook picture) is the better page, though lacks enough information for a person to subscribe. My person opinion, I'm not an expert of course.
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    • Profile picture of the author Derek_Thomas
      Originally Posted by WhamSoft View Post

      I think the second one (with the ebook picture) is the better page, though lacks enough information for a person to subscribe. My person opinion, I'm not an expert of course.
      Thanks for your thoughts.

      Just to be clear though, there are two different pages with two different purposes.

      This one... Keyword Research Shortcut

      ...is an opt-in for a free keyword research guide

      This one... Keyword Research Quote 1

      ...is designed to collect niche information from my current subscribers. These forms are linked to from within the Keyword Research Guide itself (i.e., the first opt-in page). Of course a non-subscriber could likely find this site, but again, due to the services being offered it is essential I collect all of the information presented in the forms.

      Hope that clears up everything for you guys. So basically I was asking for reviews of 2 separate pages altogether, and not necessarily a comparison of the two.

      Thanks to EVERYONE for the great insight!

      Derek
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      Thousands of happy Warriors agree...
      This service is a MUST - so worth it - Barry C.
      Derek is a keyword genius - Alan W.
      The results are incredible - page one already! - Navia B.
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      • Profile picture of the author BlueM
        I like it.

        I think it needs:

        - a picture or two of the desired effect for the client (like a person smiling on his computer or something)

        - a few testimonials...definitely.

        But otherwise, it's a decent setup.
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  • Profile picture of the author xxxJamesxxx
    Does it matter what we think? What really matters is what your prospect prefer. So do a simple split test and find out for yourself

    That'll answer your qestion
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    • Profile picture of the author Derek_Thomas
      Originally Posted by xxxJamesxxx View Post

      Does it matter what we think? What really matters is what your prospect prefer. So do a simple split test and find out for yourself

      That'll answer your qestion
      In short...yes, it does matter...very much.

      Couple of reasons:
      (1) The lessons of others are immensely valuable. Most every Warrior is a marketer is some fashion or another, and many have valuable copy-writing experience.

      (2) YOU are my target audience. YOU are my prospects. Who else needs proper Keyword Research if not Internet Marketers.

      But you are very correct...None of this matters much if I don't test the results. Test, Tweak, Test, and Tweak.

      Thanks for the thoughts,
      Derek
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      Thousands of happy Warriors agree...
      This service is a MUST - so worth it - Barry C.
      Derek is a keyword genius - Alan W.
      The results are incredible - page one already! - Navia B.
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