A good version of 'fake it til you make it'

by Zeus66
29 replies
You know the saying "fake it til you make it," right? Well I think that's normally a load of bovine excrement. But there's one area where I think a lot of marketers would benefit by adopting this outlook. And that's when it comes to your own confidence in yourself and your ability to succeed.

I meet a lot of people at various stages of experience as online entrepreneurs, and there seems to be a common ingredient in those who are not doing very well. It's not lack of knowledge. It's not having poor computer skills. It's not being technophobic. It's not having poor people skills. It's not even "analysis paralysis" - although I think it is akin to this.

It's being unsure of themselves.

More to the point, it's the paralysis that being unsure causes. We often see the admonishment to "just take action." And I agree with that advice wholeheartedly. But it's doubly tough for those afflicted with an unwarranted level of self-doubt.

That's why I say fake it til you make it. Another way to look at it is to think of this as a self-fulfilling prophecy. Act as though you're sure something will work. Just adopting this mindset - even if you secretly still harbor personal doubts - will sometimes produce magic.

And trust me, once you have that first taste of seeing something you were unsure about work for you, you won't have to fake it any longer. It's all about pretending to yourself that what you want to try will work simply because you're trying it. That "fake" confidence will become the real deal.

And now here comes the really hard part of this: not letting failures do the opposite to you. If something does fail when you try this, force yourself to ignore the failure part and only focus on what new skills/knowledge you picked up during the process of acting on it in the first place. That's so key here. Be a 'silver lining' person, even if it goes against your basic nature - as is usually the case with people who are self-doubters.

What you'll find is that over time you'll become more confident and you'll be able to focus on the silver linings - even in the inevitable failures. Just don't let being unsure of yourself stop you from starting. Fake that part of it until you don't have to anymore.

John
#fake #good #make #til #version
  • Profile picture of the author krharper
    Really good advice. I think we often believe we're faking it when we're not, its just a lack of confidence. You need to understand that everyone has doubts.
    Signature

    Join me in learning to live an Extraordinary Life:

    ExtraordinaryLifeStrategies.com
    (Nothing to sell here, just great ideas for an Extraordinary Life)
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1702466].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author SirKhan
    Great motivational speech
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1702470].message }}

  • Yeah: fly + fly high + be brilliant + be exceptional = be a star ---> always, everywhere.


    Think like one + act like one = be one.

    Believe this should be the basic "hardware level" programming of people for "success" ("success" = X variable).

    I'm Marx version 29, version 30 official launch on the 25th, bug fixes/patches/upgrades next.

    How 'bout you?
    Signature

    Professional Content Writing Service @ $0.03 / Word: Contact Us HERE
    • We have 2 decades of real world expertise in subject areas like Machine Learning / Deep Learning / AI / IOT / software programming / DIY electronics, digital marketing and telesales, product review / tutorial / blog / news article writing ...

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1702513].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author TheRichJerksNet
    But John .. I am confused here (excuse me I am old) .. I thought the saying always went something like :

    "You can lie to others, you can lie to your mother, you can even lie to god but you can never lie to yourself"

    So how do you fake it to yourself when you obviously can not lie to yourself...

    Just curious is all ...

    James
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1702825].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Killer Joe
      Originally Posted by TheRichJerksNet View Post

      So how do you fake it to yourself when you obviously can not lie to yourself...

      Just curious is all ...

      James
      James, hire a personal assistant and make it very clear to that person what their #1 duty to you is.

      Who knows, some day they may grow up to be President and the training you provided them will be priceless.

      KJ

      Signature
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1702838].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author TheRichJerksNet
        Originally Posted by Killer Joe View Post

        James, hire a personal assistant and make it very clear to that person what their #1 duty to you is.

        Who knows, some day they may grow up to be President and the training you provided them will be priceless.

        KJ

        You crack me up sometimes I swear ... OMG!! I cant stop laughing..

        Ok sorry for hijacking your thread John ...

        James
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1702870].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Zeus66
    I don't mind, James. I'm a hijacker extraordinaire. I really gotta stop doing that. It's rude.

    But yeah, it's a conundrum. You have to be able to fake it with yourself. Just ignore that voice telling you you're not good enough or smart enough or whatever enough and just start down the path. It's one of those learn as you go things, I think. Ultimately, what I believe is that success creates self-assurance. It's not always the other way around.

    John
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1703033].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author paulie888
      John, are you sure you've never moonlighted as a motivational speaker before at some point in the past? All these great little motivational nuggets you're dropping in the forum are leading me to the inescapable conclusion that you were or are one...lol!

      All kidding aside, the newbies in here should be hanging on and studying your every motivational blurb intently; it really should be required reading for them! You really need to muster up some fairly strong self-confidence in the beginning to start taking some action (and this is not just a one-time thing, I'm talking about consistent effort here), the problem I see with many newbies (and some veterans too) is that they have already convinced themselves they're failures and "no good" at IM, and this is a very sad scenario. It literally paralyzes them into non-action, and I shudder to think of how many people would have succeeded by now if they had only persisted a little longer in their efforts.

      Failures are almost inevitable in the beginning when starting anything new, and so many people I have encountered tend to be so hard on themselves when they make mistakes. They are constantly living in the past and reliving their mistakes, and this same old depressing "movie" of all their failures is constantly playing in the background of their minds like a broken record player. Is it any wonder that they aren't making any headway in their IM efforts? I feel that it's unrealistic to expect to get things right the first time, let alone hit a home run with your IM efforts, so you have to approach it with the right determined and positive mindset, knowing you will make mistakes but that you'll learn and grow from them instead of beating yourself up over every little tiny misstep. That, I feel, is the true recipe for IM success starting from scratch.


      Originally Posted by Zeus66 View Post

      I don't mind, James. I'm a hijacker extraordinaire. I really gotta stop doing that. It's rude.

      But yeah, it's a conundrum. You have to be able to fake it with yourself. Just ignore that voice telling you you're not good enough or smart enough or whatever enough and just start down the path. It's one of those learn as you go things, I think. Ultimately, what I believe is that success creates self-assurance. It's not always the other way around.

      John
      Signature
      >>> Features Jason Fladlien, John S. Rhodes, Justin Brooke, Sean I. Mitchell, Reed Floren and Brad Gosse! <<<
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1704033].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Heidi White
        Self doubt will cripple you faster than anything, and self doubt comes from having lots of fears.

        Fears like, "I'm not good enough," "Everyone else is making money, why am I broke?" "I can't write," etc.

        So, time is spent on dreaming about success,

        time is wasted starting- getting stuck on - then eventually quitting lots of different MONEY MAKING strategies and ideas, long before completing any of the real hard work involved in the strategy.

        So, naturally, there's no payoff and then the person feels either angry that they've been conned, or they beat up on themselves thinking that it's their fault.

        This disappointed person soon regains hope, tries again, but once again only by putting their toe in the water, and once again, nada.

        The sad part is that this condition if not arrested will send that person eventually away from this world and they'll repeat the same pointless approach to becoming 'successful' in another arena.

        Coach Z is right - mindset is so important. Take a stand and for once in your life. . . just do it and don't quit when it gets tough.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1704208].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Nigels
      Originally Posted by Zeus66 View Post

      I don't mind, James. I'm a hijacker extraordinaire. I really gotta stop doing that. It's rude.

      But yeah, it's a conundrum. You have to be able to fake it with yourself. Just ignore that voice telling you you're not good enough or smart enough or whatever enough and just start down the path. It's one of those learn as you go things, I think. Ultimately, what I believe is that success creates self-assurance. It's not always the other way around.

      John
      I always thought that fake it till you make it was about convincing others rather than yourself. I sort of agree with the earlier point that fooling yourself is a tricky prospect.*

      I'd see fake it till you make it as meaning don't even concern yourself about whether the voice is right - ignore it either way. Just do what you need to keep going and success will come.

      It probably means the same thing in the end.


      *Except where beer is concerned.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1707106].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author mikemcmillan
    <<More to the point, it's the paralysis that being unsure causes. We often see the admonishment to "just take action." And I agree with that advice wholeheartedly.>>

    "Upon the plains of hesitation bleach the bones of countless millions, who when on the dawn of victory paused to rest, and there resting died." --John Dretschmer
    Signature

    I'll help you create a reputation-building evergreen product in any niche and launch it successfully!
    Check it out here.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1703798].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Zeus66
      Originally Posted by mikemcmillan View Post

      <<More to the point, it's the paralysis that being unsure causes. We often see the admonishment to "just take action." And I agree with that advice wholeheartedly.>>

      "Upon the plains of hesitation bleach the bones of countless millions, who when on the dawn of victory paused to rest, and there resting died." --John Dretschmer
      Yeah, isn't that what I said? LOL
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1703954].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author paulie888
      What a wonderful quote, and I mean it sincerely. It may be a little morbid, but I feel that sometimes you need to be a little extreme to get people sufficiently motivated to take action. This quote certainly does the job, and in a very eloquent and poignant manner.


      Originally Posted by mikemcmillan View Post

      <<More to the point, it's the paralysis that being unsure causes. We often see the admonishment to "just take action." And I agree with that advice wholeheartedly.>>

      "Upon the plains of hesitation bleach the bones of countless millions, who when on the dawn of victory paused to rest, and there resting died." --John Dretschmer
      Signature
      >>> Features Jason Fladlien, John S. Rhodes, Justin Brooke, Sean I. Mitchell, Reed Floren and Brad Gosse! <<<
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1703972].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Matt Bard
      Originally Posted by mikemcmillan View Post

      "Upon the plains of hesitation bleach the bones of countless millions, who when on the dawn of victory paused to rest, and there resting died." --John Dretschmer
      "Buy the ticket. Take the ride". - Hunter S. (Gonzo) Thompson
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1704003].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Lisa Gergets
        Originally Posted by Matt Maiden View Post

        "Buy the ticket. Take the ride". - Hunter S. (Gonzo) Thompson
        "Just do it." - Nike

        And Matt - you're still faking it.
        Signature
        Sign up to be notified when Success on Demand goes live, and receive a FREE mindmap that you can follow to create and launch your OWN IM PRODUCTS!
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1707158].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Ruth P
    Like others said above, this is really motivational. This is something I really struggle with in my online business, but I am always consciously trying to push those doubting feelings aside and just believe in what I'm doing.

    After all, in the past I've done things I was scared of and succeeded, and that feeling was amazing. Looking back to things that you've achieved like this is a great way to remind yourself of just what you're capable of.

    The thing is, we all have to keep leaving our comfort zones and building new ones to move forward. Fake it til you make it through!

    Thanks,
    ~Ruth
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1704391].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author tryinhere
    poke me in the eye with a sharp stick, for it will be the blind leading the blind- sorry i just do not buy the fake i am confident mode at all - imagine saying to somebody OK now are you sure about that , are you really confident ? "well i think i am ?"

    Self confidence yes can be learned and they do this by setting small achievable tasks and extending yourself one small bit each time and build your confidence that way. but faking it really does not do it.

    Failure is a learning curve that needs to be in perspective and failure is a positive, don't shy from it as if it was / you are a failure because what you done did not work, think of it as your success path you have taken action ( a positive ) you applied a strategy or technique and on this occasion it did not work.

    That is positive, you know what not to do next time, but this pretend stuff not buying it, to many people are pussy's these days they do one little thing and they then come out with the tear jerker's.

    people should just throw away the excuses, get down, get dirty, make mistakes, grow, stop the attention seeking drama and get real or go home.
    Signature
    | > Choosing to go off the grid for a while to focus on family, work and life in general. Have a great 2020 < |
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1704557].message }}
    • Originally Posted by tryinhere View Post

      poke me in the eye with a sharp stick, for it will be the blind leading the blind...
      I beg to differ: am totally blind and working with not just blind people here in my country but also people with eyesight and people with other disabilities...

      ...have trained them to become proficient in tasks required for IM "success", and would:

      ---> take them faking it before making it than otherwise anytime.

      Why?

      If you don't get the results you need from these people, then tell them, and they won't stop 'til they prove to you they've made it, all because they already think they actually made it...

      ...much better, huh?...

      Well, rather than working with people who tell you flat out they can't do it because they haven't made it yet (where's the "work" there).
      Signature

      Professional Content Writing Service @ $0.03 / Word: Contact Us HERE
      • We have 2 decades of real world expertise in subject areas like Machine Learning / Deep Learning / AI / IOT / software programming / DIY electronics, digital marketing and telesales, product review / tutorial / blog / news article writing ...

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1707029].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Sissy76
        Great advice John, again!

        It can be very hard to keep yourself going when you're new. Taking action is essential, but sometimes it can be difficult to know which action to take. This adds to your lack of faith in yourself.

        There comes a point though, when you realise you just have to get on with it and do something. That's where your self belief starts to strengthen.

        It's hard to reverse all of the conditioning we've received in our Western cultures. We're told what to do at home, at school, at work, in the news, it's never ending. When you become brave enough to get out there on your own, it's very easy to become fragile and unsure of yourself. Faking that resolve is easier when you have goals you set and then achieve. Starting small at first is a great way to increase your self belief and stop "faking" it faster.

        Sometimes you have to go "balls out" as we say here in Australia Apologies for the crassness of that statement!

        Cheers,
        Sissy - the real one, I think?!
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1707175].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author sdentrepreneur
    I faked it in early 2008, until I would go to events and meet other Internet Marketers. I realized I was much more advanced and educated than them with IM. Raised my pricing that day !!!
    Signature

    Learn Digital, Internet and Social Media Marketing For Your Business
    Click here to learn more - Digital and Social Media Marketing Training Course

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1707083].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Zeus66
      Originally Posted by sdentrepreneur View Post

      I faked it in early 2008, until I would go to events and meet other Internet Marketers. I realized I was much more advanced and educated than them with IM. Raised my pricing that day !!!
      A great point! I see this all the time - where someone suffering from unwarranted self-doubt actually knows as much or more than others they assumed were ahead of them. Very common in IM.

      *Except where beer is concerned.
      Obviously. I mean c'mon, beer is always exempted. Hardly even needed saying, man.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1707128].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author sdentrepreneur
        Originally Posted by Zeus66 View Post

        A great point! I see this all the time - where someone suffering from unwarranted self-doubt actually knows as much or more than others they assumed were ahead of them. Very common in IM.



        Obviously. I mean c'mon, beer is always exempted. Hardly even needed saying, man.
        Shoot...I am a rockstar and guru after a few beers !!! Was actually with several gurus this past weekend in Houston, Mike Dillard, Todd Falcone , Brian Fanale and many others in PRO.
        Signature

        Learn Digital, Internet and Social Media Marketing For Your Business
        Click here to learn more - Digital and Social Media Marketing Training Course

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1707179].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ShaneRQR
    Very interesting discussion, here!

    It really is a difficult situation, isn't it? If you lack confidence, it reflects in your actions and that will likely lead to less-than-great results, confirming the initial lack of confidence...

    On the other hand, you can't lie to yourself.

    There's a way to make this work, though:
    If you look at NLP and derivatives, there's a lot going on about triggering certain emotional states. For example, you are not confident about speaking on stage.
    What you then do is remember, visualize and amplify the feeling of confidence you have in another area of life. The feeling of confidence and certainty can then carry over to your current task (speaking on stage). You aren't lying to yourself, you're creating and amplifying genuine feelings.

    If you look at visualizations/mental rehearsal and all that jazz, self-deception is also not required.
    I love the basketball-example. You are mentally rehearsing your 3-point throw and seeing yourself scoring on every throw. You aren't trying to pretend that you actually score every time or even that you are actually doing the throws right now. You're simply running through the motions as perfectly as you can, in your head.

    For confidence, the same can be applied. "What would I do in this situation if I were totally confident?"
    Then run through that scenario several times.
    It doesn't have to be "I am confident, I am confident, I am confident,..."

    Just my 2c.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1707228].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author hedzupmarketing
    One thing I do know is that business is business and in order to succeed the emotions have to stay in check. People come into the internet business from emotional hype and false promises. As business goes it is a great opportunity if you stay the coarse.
    I think it is ok to fake it a little to get started but It does not play out well in the long run. Spend your time learning all you can before you pull out your wallet, you'll be glad you did.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1707284].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Mili_D
    Never fake it, your only bring back more negativity to you sell. Create the rite feeling and believe in yourself. You can have a million dollars or even have the perfect life it is all in your hands you chose the way you want to go.....
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1707309].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author paulie888
      Mili, the original post up here is for the people who have overwhelming feelings of doom and gloom. Part of creating the right feelings is to "fake" it for people like those, because they just can't seem to see beyond their past failures and mistakes they've made.


      Originally Posted by Mili_D View Post

      Never fake it, your only bring back more negativity to you sell. Create the rite feeling and believe in yourself. You can have a million dollars or even have the perfect life it is all in your hands you chose the way you want to go.....
      Signature
      >>> Features Jason Fladlien, John S. Rhodes, Justin Brooke, Sean I. Mitchell, Reed Floren and Brad Gosse! <<<
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1708041].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author tomcam
    Wow, that hit home. I'm great at producing finished articles, products, blog posts, etc., then refusing to let them out into the world due to perfectionism. This is a terrible strategy. Much better to release them, then respond to customer input.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1708474].message }}

Trending Topics