Please Help Me Make Money Online...

Hi Kim,

Always happy to help.

A lot of the so-called "gurus" are going to be mad at me for sharing this. Yes, I truly believe all of the "gurus" follow me very closely.

Here's what you do.

Keep buying as many e-books that promise easy money as you can.

Don't worry about how much they cost. Just buy them.

Don't read any of them. And if you accidentally do happen to read something in one of them, for gosh sakes DON'T apply any of the information.

You are sure to find success.

- - - - - - - - - -

ADVANCED METHOD - EXPERTS ONLY

The final step is to give up then complain about how everybody online are nothing but scammers!

- - - - - - - - - -

Thanks again for asking.

All the best,
Michael

Kim,

Michael almost gave away the big secret ...

Keep buying these books as he said, but the big secret is





























you will keep making the sellers rich

Hey Kim

Welcome to the WF.

Don't forget to pop back in a couple of months and post your...

"Made No Money - I'm Outta Here"

...message.

N

Joe

I just found your blog, its awesome, just been sat giggling like mad

Kim

I think the thing for a lot of people is that they come into this with a completely different mentality: a job.

For a familiar example, let's say they work in fast food. They go to work. Their manager tells them to flip these burgers, cook these fries, push this button for soft drinks, push this button for milkshakes, etc. They do all that and they get a check on Friday.

Now, they come into Internet marketing. The basics are to find or create a product and promote it. Probably every system or course is a way of describing that process. But, they are on their own for selecting a product.

It's like sending them into an empty kitchen at a fast food place. They know there are hungry customers waiting, but they have no specifics on what they want or how to let them know they have it.

I think that's where people get stuck. Plans, systems and courses may promise them a "step-by-step" guide, but their idea of "step-by-step" and the seller's idea of "step-by-step" are entirely different things. The seller is showing them how to run a fast food joint, but the buyer is expecting to be shown whether to cook hamburgers or steak.

Kim,

I have made millions online, but will take time to help you. I don't have a website or hosting at the moment, as I had to come up with the rent for this month. I will get my site back up next month.

In the meantime, I am willing to take you on as a coaching client and show you how it's done. PM for my mailing address so you can send me a retainer to get started. I think $1000 should do it.

My PayPal account got shut down for making too many refund requests. They said something about being a serial refunder.

Anyway, look forward to working with you. Oh, and ignore my post count, I only post for the important stuff.

Thanks,

John

PS Couldn't resist, since you started this.

Hmm

No one has actually given me any real secrets yet

Your just a load of scammers, you must be cos you didn't make me any money yet!

Kim,

I say forget the gurus and just ask the newbies. I'm coming out with anew eBook next week for $77.77 that you'll love - It will show you all my secrets about how I've been making a killing with ShamWow! This is super easy stuff. Don't need a website, or have to push any buttons, just scrolling!!! The investment is worth it! I'll PM ya!

Terri

ROTFLMAO, I love the British sense of humor, not sure if the US Peeps got it though.

Sarcasm permeating this thread...i like it.

I will sweeten the coaching deal that John made...how bout $800 retainer. Ive had similar problems with paypal and dont worry that I just joined earlier this month...I've been doing this for years and am making $1 mil per day...sometimes a little less

hehe

I'll help you make money... For only $999.99 I have a secret method for success and you will be earning thousands a week. This really, really, really works. I can even show you a pic with my new Bentley! It was featured at Foxnews! We even have a 30 sec spot on the SuperBowl...

Kim,

I'm really, really sorry. I would *truly* like to help you out.

HOWEVER, I currently don't have any offerings that make those tiny amounts.

If you had any real goals for profit making, I could certainly get you to give up whatever you have in your bank account, max your credit cards (and get more to do the same with), have you borrow from friends and family, etc. until you were a complete financial mess, but....

If you only want to make a few thousand per week, I'm afraid you'll have to keep searching. Best of luck.

Gary

Hi Kim,

I did not realize you were crying for help I was too busy playing in my football field sized swimming pool in my limousine.

No you Can't make any money online I make it all but I can let you have access to my all secret surprise for a measly 999.99 in that surprise you will be amazed at the quantity of cr@p i give you and the awe inspiring paths I send you down but when you need to come back for a refund you will discover why it is called the Surprise package oh uh Surprise!
-Greedyjoe paymybills

Kim
Here is a sure fire way to make money online
Offer something of little or no value
Say a Starbucks gift card to any newbie
Celebrating oh anything be creative

Prerequisites being that they the newbie hasn't made dime one on the internet
And has less than 5 posts and they show an interest in your offer

Then sit back and watch the offers start pouring in to both you and the
Newbie you decide is most worthy of receiving these perks and or assistance
P.S.
Love the Sunday night sarcastic levity

Disclaimer
I hope this forum is open to all seeking information on IM and not just a small circle
Of friends it's not my intention to step on any toes or otherwise harm or defame anyone
For any reason

Make sure to never actually do any work. This will just lead to failure. Most people give up in this business once they do work. If you never do any work, then you can't fail. Simple as that.

Real IM'ers buy ebooks day after day. That is a great business model for people hoping to make it big in the forum. Eventually, you'll know just about everything regarding internet marketing. By then, you should have made it big on the forums. You'll probably have thousands of posts and lots of thanks.That's all that really matters anyway. Also, make sure to start a blog where you tell other people how to make money online. This is key here. You see, people trust those who don't actually make money online. Most people think people that do make money are scammers, so you will really have the upper hand here.

Oh, and make sure to optin to every list you can find.You don't want to miss out on any big launches ya know.

OK,

So we can get it all in here...

"Great thread. Good stuff."

Got to have a one liner, right?

Thanks,

John

Procrastinate by reading emails for three hours each day. If you read enough you will find the "magic formula" that will make you a fortune. Forget about actually testing anything, in fact that is for losers. You are on all of these "gurus" lists, and trust me they have all of the answers, I mean I am sure they have used every product they promote right???

Next, I want you to find an affiliate offer and try to show other people how to make money online, even though you have never done it yourself. All you have to do is pay for 10,000 website visitors to your website for $9.95 and you will make millions, it is easy!

Go spam some people on Craigslist. At the bottom of the ad it will say "it is NOT OK to contact this poster about other products and services." Just ignore this, I mean I am sure that people who are using mass auto-posting software and using extremely untargeted advertising are making $100,000 a day!

After you find out that IT IS NOT EASY TO MAKE MONEY ONLINE then start testing things yourself, or lessen the learning curve by listening to people who have actually done it!

OK,

I almost forgot to comply with the new FTC rules, so here goes...

=============================================

WARNING!!!! All, some or none of the claims I have made may or not be true. It's late and I am tired, so I can't be sure. Also, I am old and I get confused at times. At the same time it's important that you don't attempt to do this at home. I am a trained professional and your results may or may not be the same. Not entirely sure how that works.

If for some reason you fail to make any money, it's not my fault. I will have made money, so I guess as long as one of us does, that's what really counts.

Also, no animals were harmed in the making of this product. I thought it important to note this, as it helps makes people feel better in dealing with me.

Last thing. My privacy policy is that I value my privacy, so I can only use a fake name, throwaway email address, etc. The phone company turned my phone off, so no number is available.

=============================================

OK, I am off to bed. Look forward to your check... I mean working with you.

Thanks,

John

Thanks guys, I'm sure to succeed with all this great feedback.

ps.

if anyone has a report that will not help me at an overpriced amount send it my way so I can stick it in a folder, not read it then make a thread tomorrow with my IM doesn't work case study, thanks.

Sure, I'll help you out kim...

Who am I?

Glad you asked, because I'm actually not qualified to give you
an answer, I figured that I should boost my post count so my
siggy can get more looks and clicktrhoughs according to the
last ebook I read.

I dont' really know what I'm talking about, and I can't validate
and give a thoughtful opinion based on solid research, facts,
and my own personal experinece.

In fact, I know I don't qualify to answer your question because
I just want to give my two cents. Unfortuantly, those pennies
are a little rusty at the moment - but you would never know it
until you naively try to use my bad information and get bad results.

But who's fault is it really for misinformation?

Is it mines for giving it, or are you equally guilty for taking what
I just shared with you at face value out of desperation?

Would it help if you did your own research, took my answer
into consideration, but put more weight on someone who you
know has a proven track record of success and create a solution
for yourself?

Maybe, instead of taking my advice, you'd learn that in business
not to be too guilable and perform due diligence to make a solid
choice for yourself.

Eh, what do I know, I'm just a messenger.

Kim,

Think you'll love this thread here:

16-Step Guide to Doing Nothing and Earning Money Online

Don't think it'll be cheap though, so you'd better prepare an unlimited budget. Well, maybe you can cut down costs by automating things which can be automated just like what McDonald's did to reduce employee wages, other overheads and time finding qualified employees (read the thread and you'll know what I mean). That way, you'll just need a fortune, not an unlimited budget.

Some members haven't learned the art of sarcasm yet lol.

I'll give you the same advice as the others kim.

Buy loads of stuff... BUT Don't do anything. NO! Money will come to
you

Cheers

Kim, I'll hook you up with my guy..

He's a Nigerian Prince who needs to deposit 5 million into your country, he'll give you a 30% share if you let him use your bank account.. just pay the $2000 attorney fees and you're all set.

Kim please be careful some of those people above use false names and have nothing but empty promises. My offer will make twice what you want with half the work and as an added bonus you get to rub your belly clockwise while whistling Dixie and blow sparks out your backside at no extra cost.

accepting paypal only

Thanks a lot Kim to start this wonderful thread.

I have never seen a post here with such brilliant seriously invented offers.

Kim,

Whatever you do, don't take a few hours using the "Search" facility of this forum.

It is useless, mainly because too many people use it and it has worn out. It's always best to just start a new thread like you have.

Using the search function is like looking for diamonds in a big hole in Kimberley - a waste of time, so they say ;-)

Sam

P.S. - Seriously though if you want to make money online and in your Pajama's, if it's not working out, just get some new Pajama's. Why blame the course or yourself for failure, it could simply be the PJ's.

Secret! Secret! Secret!

Now you have all 3 of my secrets. Go forth my child and be rich.

Wait there is one more secret.
.

.

.

.

.

.

SECRET.

Stop whining about not having a secret.

Hi Kim,

Whatever you do DO NOT do any marketing... forget about driving traffic. That's a huge waste of time and energy. There are so many other things you could be doing that are far more fun and fulfilling. Like chatting on the WF and other forums where people hang out just to "chat".

Just keep asking for help. Eventually, the universe will magically bring you all the money you could ever want. Open up your mind to the world - let all that information you've absorbed float out and it will surely grab all the money you demand of it.

Don't bother creating your own product, either, because no body will buy it. And forget affiliate marketing. Way too much competition.

If you have a web site, scrap it. No one wants to look at it. Besides, you have nothing to sell. Or you could turn it into your own personal diary or hobby to share with your family and your friends.

Do everything you can to hide your online presence and you are sure to be financially successful.

Sylvia

Kim,

That's why it isn't working you went to Tesco in your jammies

You don't want to work, this is the big secret, no work necessary to earn $1 million in 1 hour.

Bev

Kim, go to China, the local always walk around in the nightwear and not just jammies, and they have special red ones for Chinese New Year.

You can go for article marketing..to make money online. There are many ebooks out there...to learn this.

Wow, as a newbie I'm learning a lot from this thread

Kim am Nigerian, i think one of my brother wanna do the usual thing. Keep off pls. He is a nut, he should have known you are just pulling legs.

I'm keeping 20% for myself as a finders fee..

<< Not just a hatrack my friend

God love those Princes.

Hi Kim

Basically the best way to make money is to click on all the affiliate links in my sig and buy the product - NO QUESTIONS ASKED

Ken, you forgot secret six and seven because all good marketing products end with a 7.

You know that secret we talked about, which you said you were going to get KJ to do.

And then there is the 7th secret which KJ is going to pay you a zillion for telling him.

Have you forgotten

Make money by saying yes to our upgrade package today - once you upgrade your downgrade to a grade that is slightly higher than your current grade you'll have access to thousands more emails from me per year, and free plr material that is not avaliable nowhere else. All you have to do today is say yes to my up-downgrade package and create the credit card payment.

It's 100% free!
then there is a $97/month charge for a minimum of 36 months

DISCLAIMER:

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Kim,

I'm shocked that you're actually BUYING ebooks! You don't have to do that. Every guru's ebook I ever wanted can be found on various sharing sites - long live the torrents! Don't worry about viruses etc - the torrent folks are all ok! Here is my special link:

[deleted by the !@#$ mods]

Also - whatever those GURUs say - don't spend $$$ on content - everything on the Internet is FREE!!! don't worry about copyright infringement - nobody cares about that anymore. Just copy what you need, create an ebook, and voila!

good luck!
--Jack