You must have a vision for the future...

10 replies
WARNING: Long and potentially ridiculous post. Read at your own risk.

First of all, Happy Valentine's Day! If you're able to be with the one you love today, ignore this post and go share your time with your loved ones. You deserve it and so do they. <g> I'll be here later.

Okay, here we go...

If any of you have watched the videos Tony Robbins has been putting out for the last several months, you're likely familiar with the meaning he puts behind those words in the subject of this post.

Basically (for those of you who haven't been watching) Tony tells folks how to "rise above" whatever they are facing in their lives at the moment.

He asks you to "see things as they are" -- not worse, but just as they are. Then, he tells you to see them better than they are. Then, figure out exactly how to move your life to become the one in the "better" vision you have.

Much like Jim Carry's character in the movie BRUCE ALMIGHTY, my life feels pretty dang mediocre right now. And like Bruce, I do NOT want to "settle" for mediocrity. In fact, mediocrity rubs me the wrong way. It chafes against everything I believe to be true about myself.

It grates against my ingrained self so bad I have a rash! (kidding)

Seriously though, I believe life has so much more to offer, and that we all are meant to be, do, and have more than is reflected in my life today. What about you? Are YOU willing to settle for what you have right now?

If you are, great! You probably have a bright, clear vision for your future, and I am more than happy for you.

So anyway, here's where I'm at: I definitely see my situation "as it is." I see it loud and clear, and while it's not terrible, it ain't all that gorgeous either, you know?

I mean, we've got a handle on things (like a lot of you probably have), but if this is all I had to look forward to from my life - for the rest of my life - I wanna stop the bus and get off here, you know? No point in riding out the rest of the route if I'm just gonna end up right back here, yes?

Let me put it this way...

I recently took a long look around at some of the people in my life, both older and younger, and I have to say I did not enjoy what I saw...because it looked way too much like everyone's practicing an exercise in futility.

Ever done that? Look around and see young people full of hopes, dreams, and aspirations who you know that, in order to meet those dreams, will have to do an awful lot of sacrifice and struggling, possibly for years, to get there?

Then, you look at people who are more in the same age/financial/lifespan/social group or bracket as you, and this group of people are working, forcing themselves to do what they have to do each day, but they're more tired and many of them are a bit embittered and angry, and I really can't blame them, considering.

It's like the life's been sucked right out of them. They seem... well... hopeless.

Why? Because although they're still holding on to the tail end of those hopes, dreams, and aspirations they started out with as teens and young adults, they appear to have reached a point where it seems like life would be a whole lot easier if they just gave up, and gave in.

Like the only thing capable of stopping their struggles and suffering would be to stop trying to have anything at all, much less those few exciting, inspiring, and empowering things they really, really wanted to achieve in life...back when they were younger.

In fact, sometimes I think if they all just let go and forgot about the past up to this point and started over from scratch, life would go a whole lot smoother and easier for them.

And then you look around at the older folks, and what you see is really pitiful. Why? Because here you see people who have done the struggling, the hanging on by a thread to get from day to day for more years than you can count on four hands...and what do they have to show for it?

Nothing. These people are nearing the end of a long life with nothing to show, no achievements other than mere survival.

Have you seen something similar in the lives around you?

I find it awfully, terribly sad. And for myself, I am not willing to settle for that. Survival may be "life," but it's nowhere near "living."

It's not even close.

But here's where my problem comes in: As I said above, I definitely see things as they are ... but I am having a little trouble with "creating a vision for the future" for myself.

Why? Because it seems, like that middle group of people above, I've lost my passion for the vision I once held for myself. Yes, I know that's terribly revealing, but...

Let's back up a little bit.

When I was 13, my goal was to finish high school, go to Harvard, Yale, or Princeton and get a degree in big business management and be a millionaire by the time I was 35. At 17, it was to learn to write romance. At 27 it was to write the "Great American Romance Novel," and a few years later, it was to be an "A level" copywriter.

Instead of Harvard, I did the correspondence thing - learned accounting/bookkeeping, corporate and personal taxes, how to write fiction, how to write copy. But once I "knew how to do" those things, they lost their appeal.

See, I think I'm "smart," as in very intelligent, and sometimes this poses a problem for me in that I feel I have to do everything myself...because I'm smart enough to do so.

I'm also spoiled. Everything I ever really, truly wanted in life (materially), I've got it ... except for the million by 35. I wanted a car like my brother's. I got it. I wanted a certain kind of home. I got it. I wanted a specific kind of mini-van. I got it.

Computers, clothes, books, if it was material and I wanted it...somehow...it managed to find its way to me.

So now, I'm at a point where I feel there is nothing more to want, and that I've actually fulfilled all the goals I had for myself that were really important to me.

For the last few years I've done a lot of jumping around from this to that to the other, but nothing, not a bit of it, was fulfilling.

And I'm still here. LOL

And I am kind of at a loss as to what to do with myself. Should I get a "job," as one person suggested? I don't think so, since that's kinda akin to simply surviving when I want to LIVE.

I want the rest of my family to be able to LIVE also, yet...

When I try to summon a vision of the kind of future I'd like to have, I get a blank screen. There's just nothing there.

And on one of those rare days when something "does" show up on my vision monitor, it's so jumbled and confused -- I can't focus on any one thing over another.

There's no up or down, no right or left, no sense of direction at all.

What does one do in a situation like this?

Deep down, I know I want to do something "great" that will really, truly help people, really make a significant difference in their lives, and I want to be able to honestly enjoy myself (and possibly make more money) in the process.

But I am having trouble figuring out what that "great something" could be, trouble summoning even a snippet of a scene for the grand "future vision" I need to create a passion to help me move forward toward it.

<sigh>

Okay, so I guess I'm rambling now. I'll go ahead and wrap this up. For those of you who read to the end and are wondering, "What the heck is the point? What does she want from us?" this is it:

I'm looking for ideas and suggestions from some of you who have maybe been there, or at least know where I'm coming from, to help me "open up" to a possible vision for a better future for myself.

Thanks in advance to any who reply. I appreciate the effort it took you to read through all this mess and try to sort it enough to give a response. Hey, I never said the inside of my mind was pretty.
#future #vision
  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    You were right, it is a long post.

    I don't have the time to comment on everything, but I will make a few comments and hope it will give you food for thought or at least spur on some additional dialog for you.

    First, are you sure you're seeing things as they are...or as you fear they are? There is a difference, and I say that because I wonder if you are perhaps reading too much into other people's lives and situations. The word "projecting" comes to mind.

    Even though you may not be able to think of any "great" things you can do now, you can do common things in a great way. That's what Mother Teresa did, and few would say her accomplishments weren't a great contribution to humanity.

    I would guess, just from your desire to do something great, that you probably are a very good person. If I may be so bold, I'd like to suggest you move beyond the idea of doing something great and invest your energy in being a great person. That you have control over, but not all are called to greatness.

    And lest you forgot, greatness often requires great sacrifices, and great pain.
    "If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way."
    - Napoleon Hill
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    • Profile picture of the author Tinkerbell
      Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

      You were right, it is a long post.

      Even though you may not be able to think of any "great" things you can do now, you can do common things in a great way.
      Dennis,

      That's a "great" way to look at it. Doing common things in a great way is something many people simply ignore because, well, those things are "common" and they may think few people notice the common things that are done.

      Truth is (as I see it) without the common, there would be nothing to compare to so we might have "uncommon" and "great" or "unique."

      Thanks for reminding me of this. Definitely food for thought, which is what I'm after here.
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      • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
        Originally Posted by Tinkerbell View Post

        Dennis,

        That's a "great" way to look at it. Doing common things in a great way is something many people simply ignore because, well, those things are "common" and they may think few people notice the common things that are done.

        Truth is (as I see it) without the common, there would be nothing to compare to so we might have "uncommon" and "great" or "unique."

        Thanks for reminding me of this. Definitely food for thought, which is what I'm after here.
        I can't take credit for the idea. If I recall correctly, I borrowed it from Abraham Lincoln. I didn't think he'd mind me lending it to you.

        @ Lisa Gergets - Congrats! That's two bits of great news you've had lately. You ARE doing it!
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  • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
    Originally Posted by Tinkerbell View Post

    I'm looking for ideas and suggestions from some of you who have maybe been there, or at least know where I'm coming from, to help me "open up" to a possible vision for a better future for myself.
    Your mission, should you choose to accept it:

    Over the next year, try to do something you CANNOT POSSIBLY DO.

    Something so big, so outrageous, that you simply can't imagine succeeding at it.

    You probably won't do it. But here's the thing - if you aim for the stars and miss, sometimes you still get to the moon.

    And hey, sometimes you get to the stars. Besides, it's got to be easier to get there starting from the moon.
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    "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
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    • Profile picture of the author Tinkerbell
      Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

      Your mission, should you choose to accept it:

      Over the next year, try to do something you CANNOT POSSIBLY DO.

      Something so big, so outrageous, that you simply can't imagine succeeding at it.
      CDarklock, Arrrggghhh!!!

      That's part of the problem, lol. Nothing feels "challenging," if that makes sense? See, there's really nothing (that I WOULD do) that I think is impossible...provided I really, seriously desire to do it.

      I already know I COULD...if only I WOULD.

      My dilemma is disinterest. Know the joke about "what do you give a man who has everything?" Well, I "feel like" I already have (or have achieved) everything I ever really wanted, so I have no goals, no "desires for the future" except maybe more money so the hubby can quit work.

      I'm allergic to penecillin. LOL.

      There just isn't much holding my interest lately long enough for me to work up a desire toward trying to succeed.

      Does that even nearly make sense?
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  • Profile picture of the author Lisa Gergets
    I recently took a long look around at some of the people in my life, both older and younger, and I have to say I did not enjoy what I saw...because it looked way too much like everyone's practicing an exercise in futility.

    Ever done that? Look around and see young people full of hopes, dreams, and aspirations who you know that, in order to meet those dreams, will have to do an awful lot of sacrifice and struggling, possibly for years, to get there?

    Then, you look at people who are more in the same age/financial/lifespan/social group or bracket as you, and this group of people are working, forcing themselves to do what they have to do each day, but they're more tired and many of them are a bit embittered and angry, and I really can't blame them, considering.

    It's like the life's been sucked right out of them. They seem... well... hopeless.
    They're all waiting...just waiting for retirement when they can all not work, but not do anything else either, because there will be no money for it.

    I looked around too, and I saw hundreds of people who had absolutely no vision. I could not, WOULD not, let myself be that.

    Over the next year, try to do something you CANNOT POSSIBLY DO.

    Something so big, so outrageous, that you simply can't imagine succeeding at it.
    I have done just that.

    Today I got some awesome news...after working with a credit repair specialist for four months, and paying down my credit cards, my credit scores are finally such that I can get a mortgage. So I'm leaving my $55K+ job in the city with the fantastic benefits blah blah blah, and I'm moving my family to the country, ON MY IM INCOME. I'M DOING IT!

    Yeah, I'm doing it. God damn...wow.

    My advice (not like anyone asked but that's never stopped me): don't wait. Don't wait...just do it now. Make the plans then make it happen. You CAN. If I can, YOU can. And I AM.
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    • Profile picture of the author Tinkerbell
      Originally Posted by Lisa Gergets View Post

      They're all waiting...just waiting for retirement when they can all not work, but not do anything else either, because there will be no money for it.
      Lisa,

      Yes, that's what I'm talking about. They lived all their lives to be able to "do something" but when they finally supposedly "can," well, they can't. It just seems so cruel.

      I looked around too, and I saw hundreds of people who had absolutely no vision. I could not, WOULD not, let myself be that.
      Right. This is sooo me. I will not be visionless! I..er..just need a little help finding direction toward a vision that suits me.

      Edited to add: CONGRATULATIONS! It's great to see people making progress. You Go Girl!
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  • Profile picture of the author Popstar
    Maybe you're trying too hard.

    Instead of worrying about having a grand vision, why don't you try some volunteer work and immerse yourself in helping other people? Maybe something will present itself that will let you help other people and figure out what your grand vision should be all at the same time.

    It's just a thought. Probably because I find that my best ideas come when I'm not trying to come up with ideas.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
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    • Profile picture of the author Tinkerbell
      Originally Posted by Popstar View Post

      Maybe you're trying too hard.

      It's just a thought. Probably because I find that my best ideas come when I'm not trying to come up with ideas.

      Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
      <nod> You could be right. Thank you.
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  • Profile picture of the author bwtech4
    No you are right, go for it all. I can understand the frustration. It's their world, we just live in it. We play by their rules and no ones gets hurt. Step outside the box, push the limits and only worry about whats important to you. You will find it, just keep looking.
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