Do You Hate Helping People with IM?

13 years ago

Originally Posted by The Oilman

How should I set this up? I guess if I could get a cut of the profits, and a consulting fee, I'd perhaps go for it. Otherwise, I find it annoying and a waste of my time. Maybe I am a selfish jerk. I just do NOT like to work with other people --- and I really struggle with it.

There's your answer. He probably wouldn't provide his services to you without charge, so he shouldn't expect you to provide your services without charge. Name your price. If it's a flat fee plus commission, so be it. He can take it or leave it. You need what you need to be comfortable with it.

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Mr. Enthusiastic

13 years ago

Here's what I'd say:

"I realized you're going to need a full time person to work with you on your Internet launch. I'm too busy to give your project the attention it deserves. So you should get a team member who can be there on call. You can ask me a question now and then if you like. But I'm just not cut out for a consultant role now. Without the time or education to analyze your business, MBA-style, I probably shouldn't try to give you quick tips on the phone."

This lets him go away happy and proud that he's way beyond your ability to help him. Which he is, but not for the reason he thinks!

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Sheila Atwood

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Mr. Enthusiastic

Here's what I'd say:

"I realized you're going to need a full time person to work with you on your Internet launch. I'm too busy to give your project the attention it deserves. So you should get a team member who can be there on call. You can ask me a question now and then if you like. But I'm just not cut out for a consultant role now. Without the time or education to analyze your business, MBA-style, I probably shouldn't try to give you quick tips on the phone."

This lets him go away happy and proud that he's way beyond your ability to help him. Which he is, but not for the reason he thinks!

This is a great idea. You let him know you want the best for him and guide him to someone that can do the job.

I am in a similar situation with my sister. I started to help her....but she knows "best". So I will be giving her names of 3 people she can use. They are "experts" that can better serve her.

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Nicola Haxby

13 years ago

Originally Posted by The Oilman

Anyway, they want my help, and I do not care to help them. I dont know why. Maybe its some personal issues with me. Maybe its because IM is a personal thing to me, and I dont like to talk about it. Maybe its just because hes very abrasive and is very eager to ask me questions, even though I do not know if he'll ever take action. Maybe its just that I do not want to do a service in my life, ever again.

I think that has to be the sadest and most dismal paragraph I've read in years.

Don't you feel flattered that someone values your opinion? That they are asking help because they feel they will learn from your knowledge? Does his eagerness not give you a sense of self worth?

What goes around - comes around. Give and you recieve back ten fold, it's the unwritten law.

I hope you get to the bottom of your "personal issues" my friend and find the fire inside you again.

Best wishes,

Nicola

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LeapingHorse

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Nicola Haxby

I think that has to be the sadest and most dismal paragraph I've read in years.

Don't you feel flattered that someone values your opinion? That they are asking help because they feel they will learn from your knowledge? Does his eagerness not give you a sense of self worth?

What goes around - comes around. Give and you recieve back ten fold, it's the unwritten law.

I hope you get to the bottom of your "personal issues" my friend and find the fire inside you again.

Best wishes,

Nicola

I completely disagree with this post - has nothing to do with personal issues or the lack of any fire.

I can relate to what the OP is saying - there are some people who quite frankly, aren't worthy of your help. They expect the world of you and act as though what you do online is a piece of cake, therefore you should be able to teach them at the snap of a finger.

I've been there, and I don't care to help them.

On the other hand, if someone respectfully asks me for help it's a different ballgame.

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Tsnyder

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Nicola Haxby

I think that has to be the sadest and most dismal paragraph I've read in years.

Don't you feel flattered that someone values your opinion? That they are asking help because they feel they will learn from your knowledge? Does his eagerness not give you a sense of self worth?

What goes around - comes around. Give and you recieve back ten fold, it's the unwritten law.

I hope you get to the bottom of your "personal issues" my friend and find the fire inside you again.

Best wishes,

Nicola

Nicola...

Some people just don't need the adulation of others to
validate their self worth. Unlike "The Oilman" I love teaching
and helping others but it does nothing for my self worth.

That comes from within.

I'm just as content and self assured working on my own.

Tsnyder

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AndrewCavanagh 13 years ago

Simply explain that as a friend you're always willing to talk but once he gets into your area of expertise your time is valuable just like his is.

He wouldn't expect to give you hours of psychotherapy free (or whatever service he provides) and he shouldn't be expecting you to give him hours of internet marketing advice free.

You can explain that you don't do much consulting because it takes time away from building your own business but when you do you charge $x per hour.

I tell people $500 an hour. My friend at OfflineBiz.com Jim Cockrum says $750 an hour.

You might establish your fee at a more modest level...whatever you think your advice is genuinely worth.

Most internet marketers are worth at least $100+ an hour and grossly undervalue how much their advice and expertise is really worth to business owners and people starting different ventures.

If someone is genuinely willing to pay that rate then you know they value your time and it might be worth talking to them.

You can always take that initial consulting fee off any work you do for them in the future if you want...or not.

Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh
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scrofford

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Nicola Haxby

I think that has to be the sadest and most dismal paragraph I've read in years.

Don't you feel flattered that someone values your opinion? That they are asking help because they feel they will learn from your knowledge? Does his eagerness not give you a sense of self worth?

What goes around - comes around. Give and you recieve back ten fold, it's the unwritten law.

I hope you get to the bottom of your "personal issues" my friend and find the fire inside you again.

Best wishes,

Nicola

Bottom line is the OP just doesn't feel like helping these people. Personal choice ya know? We don't have to help everyone who asks us. It isn't our responsibility. It is up to the other person who is wanting to learn to take action and learn themselves.

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The Oilman

13 years ago

Nicola. I am sorry that saddened you.

You must realize that when you have success, everyone wants you and your answers. I do not think my answers are going to make or break him. I also just do not feel that great doing business with a friend. I think it always festers tension and resentment. I'd rather have him as a friend than a business partner. I also do not like it when the lines of business partner and friend cross each other.

Dennis: I think I will charge him, of course. And he will pay me. Its just that I do not want to always be there for him. I'd rather sell my time at day-long chunks or something. They can record me and ask me anything

If I do help him, I want to do my best for him..

Thanks
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Nicola Haxby

13 years ago

Originally Posted by The Oilman

Nicola. I am sorry that saddened you.

You must realize that when you have success, everyone wants you and your answers. I do not think my answers are going to make or break him. I also just do not feel that great doing business with a friend. I think it always festers tension and resentment. I'd rather have him as a friend than a business partner. I also do not like it when the lines of business partner and friend cross each other.

Dennis: I think I will charge him, of course. And he will pay me. Its just that I do not want to always be there for him. I'd rather sell my time at day-long chunks or something. They can record me and ask me anything

If I do help him, I want to do my best for him..

Hi Oilman,

Not trying to box you into a corner on this one or lay a guilt trip on you at all. I don't know this guy - perhaps if I did I might find it hard too.

As you say you are an introvert, a facette of my personality is to try to find a positive....I find it makes life more fulfilling.

You stated that he can be "quite condescending"? This obviously bothers you as you mentioned it. Looking at the positive here, maybe by helping him you may find that he treats you with a little more respect in turn find your friendship becomes stronger.

The majority seem to disagree with me on this one so ultimately it's your call. Just wanted to get you to think about it in another way.

Good luck in whatever you choose,

Nicola

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txconx

13 years ago

Here's my experience helping friends with things like this: don't.

I'm not going into detail about my personal experience with this sort of thing but I've been in a situation similar to what you describe and I can tell you that someone with an MBA who is "condescending but doesn't mean anything by it" will not value your time, will take advantage of you, and even if you charge him it won't be worth it.

Don't make excuses as to why you can't/won't do this. Reasons why you can't work with him imply that if those reasons go away, you would be available. And you aren't. So don't even try to explain your reasons - it's best just to tell him you aren't able to work on his project and offer to help him find someone who can, if you're willing to do that.

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jasonboom

13 years ago

There's nothing at all sad about what you said. Some people like to leech information until you're dried up.

I have a friend who owns a roofing business. He sometimes goes on bids for projects he really doesn't want. He makes the bid something that would make him want to do the work. If they go for it, cool...if not, then he's not caused any grief.

Not sure if that helps...

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JohnMcCabe

13 years ago

Actually, as I type this, I think I figured it out. I think its helping FRIENDS. I don't like doing anything business related with friends. Its just a very hard thing to do, and I think people take advantage of it.

Oilman, there's your answer. If you want to put a bit of social candy-coating on it, since you applied the word 'friend', just tell him that you've had bad luck giving business advice to friends, and that you value the friendship, so you're going to pass on getting involved with his business.

I've formed friendships with business associates that have lasted, but never the other way around.

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moneyblogger1

13 years ago

If I were you I wouldn't even waste my time. Your heart is not in it so at the end of the day you won't want to help him no matter how much he pays you.

I would just point him to some great resources that have helped you. Tell him there is no free lunch and you had to learn all the stuff yourself so why should he get off without the work

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The Oilman

13 years ago

I think hes respectfully asking me for help, and I love this guy, as a friend. But not as a business partner.

Hes always trying to learn about how I am making it online. And yes, I think people think its easy. But in reality its not. I've invested myself into this passion of mine like a madman. I dont think you can have success without PASSION. Perhaps that is another reason why I do not see him really doing it.

And our dynamic is strange. A few years ago, I was in college, living with him, and doing odd jobs for him around his rental (he was the landlord). Now I probably make more money than he does, and he wants to learn from me .. which is a fine thing to desire, but I just dont really feel like doing it.

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Mr. Enthusiastic 13 years ago

Originally Posted by The Oilman

I just dont really feel like doing it.

That alone is enough reason, unless he saved your life in the war or something.

As I think more about it I suggest being totally straight up. "I like you as a friend and don't want to take you on as a client now." Simple, easy, respectful of both you and him.
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Dennis Gaskill 13 years ago

Originally Posted by The Oilman

Now I probably make more money than he does, and he wants to learn from me .. which is a fine thing to desire, but I just dont really feel like doing it.

You keep coming back to that point in one form or another, so I'd say don't do it. He'll probably want to know why. You can tell him if you like, or tell him you don't like to teach IM or work with others (or whatever) for personal reasons. Since they are personal, you're under no obligation to say any more. You can point him to learning resources or other people and leave it at that.

It kind of bothers me though, that you said he's condescending and very abrasive to you. Since he's a psychologist, that may not be accidental.
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colinmacg 13 years ago

I can understand your feelings, so why not be open and honest with him...turn round and tell him that you are uncomforatble helping in this way, and suggest to help find someone who would be better suited for the task. Your friendship is paramount and that would be in jepoardy end of story
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Alex Mensah

13 years ago

Originally Posted by The Oilman

Everyday, all I do is try to enhance my revenue streams. I try to tweak sales processes, work on back ends, change graphics, etc --- all for autopilot income. Helping others does not seem to be what I want.

I do not know where to go with this. I do not like to answer the phone when he calls. I am not a phone person, and I dont like talking business on the phone. Its just annoying to me.

Thanks so much

Hi there,
It seems like you prefer automation better than real live contact.
I think what may work for you is video taping a FAQ and then giving them the link. This way you are limiting the amount of real live interaction as possible. This seems to be your preference reading from your notes. aside from getting paid of course

Thanks

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The Oilman

13 years ago

Well thanks everyone for your help. I wish it didn't bother me. I am jut an introverted person and there are very few people I'd enjoy teaching this to. I do not want someone to be riding me constnatnly with phone calls on what to do next.

And other point : I also sometimes feel my type of marketing doesn't apply to his type -- and I am not sure they will mesh. Direct response marketing is strange, tacky, and weird, and I am not sure its most people's thing.

Perhaps I will just point him at some resources.

Ugh I wish I didn't have these issues. But I just do.

Thanks

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txconx

13 years ago

Here's the thing - people don't value what they get free and easy.

I've worked at home for years. I used to get phone calls from people wanting to know how to get started in the same business I was in. I'd meet them, spend a couple hours on the phone with them - and for what? NONE of them - and I mean NONE of them - ever did anything with the information. It took time from my children and my work and it was wasted. I stopped doing it.

People who are REALLY serious will be willing to invest their own time (not waste yours) and money, if necessary. If someone wants to know about IM and they're a raw beginner, I send them to the 30DC. If they aren't willing to even do that, that tells me that they would've wasted MY time if I'd spilled my brain for them.

Tell you friend where to start - 30DC, the various forums, whatever - and tell him to ask you before he buys something. That's all I'd be willing to do.

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cashcow

13 years ago

I know exactly where you are coming from!

I've been making money online through websites and before that ebay for quite some time. There are always people who want me to "help" them and I always feel the same as you. Probably it's because I usually take the time to help but they never take any action - it seems they want me to press some button and success will come to them.

Anyway, I have learned the best way to deal with this is to make them do something related to the project first before I can help them with the next step.

For example. a lot of people used to want me to help them sell their stuff on ebay. So I say "Sure, No Problem! Just take some pictures of the items and write up a good description then we will get together and list it".

No one ever follows through on the picture taking.

Perhaps there is something you can ask your friend to do to get his project off to a start?

Lee

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R Hagel

13 years ago

Let's say this friend asked you to drive him to the airport on a specific day. You happen to have a dentist appointment already scheduled on that day and time.

So what would you do? You'd just politely tell him that you can't do it -- and perhaps offer him an alternative means of getting a ride (another friend, a taxi, an airport shuttle, etc).

The same thing applies here -- whether you don't want to do something or you simply can't, you just politely tell him no. You don't have to go into an in-depth explanation of not having time, not wanting to mix friendships with business, etc.

However, you CAN help him by pointing towards alternative resources -- ebooks he should read, personal coaches he can hire, forums he should join, etc.

That way, you help him... without having to feel uncomfortable or do anything you don't want to do.

Becky

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rlharding

13 years ago

You call this guy your friend and say you love him, but, the words you use to describe him are not words one typically uses to describe a friend........more like words to describe an annoying acquaintance.

This friend of yours is a psychologist and unless he isn't very good at his trade he should have picked up signs by now that you do not want to work with him.

Perhaps you could trade with him. He gives you free psychology to deal with the introverted you, and, you help him with IM?.........(OK I'm joking!!)

I think your owns words make it clear that you do not want to mix your friendship with business. Perhaps after working so hard (passion is hard work) to try and do more for someone else is just too exhausting to imagine.

As hard as it may be, try and find a way to simply say when you have finished doing your own IM work you value his friendship because it allows you to let go - if you then had to start teaching him then you would never have any down time and the friendship would suffer.

Or maybe email him

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Hanz 13 years ago

I have an idea. Simply pick up the phone and call him. Say "Hi, we need to talk. It's this IM thing you know...you know I love you as a friend but this thing...it's just not working out. It's not you, it's me. I'm just not cut out to be offering advice...but I know this forum you can try called Warrior, maybe you can go there to find what you need?"

Something like that will work.
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Toby Lewis

13 years ago

Don't charge him, thats the worst thing you can do.

You say it's not "worth your time" but either is helping them move house, or picking them up from the airport, or any of those other things friends do.

Just help him out with his questions and give pointers when asked and make it clear you don't want to be a business partner.

Maybe its a culture thing but jeez, some people in this thread are pretty harsh...

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Terry Hatfield

13 years ago

Keep business and friendship apart from each other.

There is no law that says you need to help a friend. Tell him sorry, not my area of expertise wish I could help, but I don't have the slightest idea how to help you out.

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The Oilman

13 years ago

Yes its not that I really want to do it for free. We agreed he'd pay me.

But thanks for the feedback everyone.

Thanks

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Gclunis

13 years ago

Something I have noticed is that helping friends is very difficult. I have tried to help several of my friends get into the IM business and I have noticed that they are much less likely to take action than people who do not know you personally.

I'm not sure why that is but it's happened to me numerous times.

What I would suggest you do is politely let your friend know that you just don't have the time to give him the sort of help he would need. Then you can point him to someone that can give him professional consultation. OR point him to a website like elance or the warriors for hire forum where he can find someone on his own.

At the end of the day, remember that he is your friend and I assume you want to keep the relationship.

Hope this helps

Gregg

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PaulaC

13 years ago

I'd be telling him that I am just too busy at the moment with my own business but I'll be able to fit you in for a couple of days of one-on-one assistance in October 2011 if that suits.

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halfpoint 13 years ago

No, I don't mind helping people at all.

In fact, today someone on a different forum who I hadn't spoke to before sent me a PM asking if I had a messenger as they had a couple of questions. I don't use any messengers but I downloaded AIM specifically for this person and spoke to them for about 45 minutes helping them out.

Rather than annoying me, it actually felt good that I was someone was able to benefit from my advice.

With that said, though, you do have to have a limit. You obviously can't spend hours upon hours every day helping people for free - I had some extra time on my hands today so I had no problem helping this person.

I'm happy to help people where I can, however, if it starts getting too time intensive I would then let them know that I'd have too charge for any additional help.
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- CryoCrispy 13 years ago
  
  Your friend wants to know more about what you do, so direct them to the 30DC. It's pretty simple.
  
  If your friend completes the 30DC and wants to consult with you afterwards, find out what he wants and simply refer him back to the 30DC and tell him to take the advance course next.
  
  Once he finishes both of those, there really should be no more questions and you can wash your hands of the commitment.
  
  Thanks
  
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pink sapphire

13 years ago

Originally Posted by The Oilman

I

How should I set this up? I guess if I could get a cut of the profits, and a consulting fee, I'd perhaps go for it. Otherwise, I find it annoying and a waste of my time. Maybe I am a selfish jerk. I just do NOT like to work with other people --- and I really struggle with it.

Anyones feedback would be appreciated... I am sure some of you can relate with me.

I can totally relate and it sounds to me like to need to give him a polite but firm 'no' - just explain that you're too busy to provide the help he's asking for (and that you're not comfortable with 'teaching' - if he's a real friend he should understand that), and instead point him in the direction of some resources that can provide a starting point for him.

It sounds to me like your main problem is not your friend, but with feeling that you're somehow wrong for reacting the way you do, and that you should be different. But you really don't need to feel bad for not wanting to do this. I'm an introvert too, and would feel the same way in this situation. We all have our own ways of making a contribution and helping others, and it's ok not to want to talk on the phone, or to work one on one with people. Some of us just aren't wired that way, and that's just as valid as being a 'people person' who enjoys all that service-providing stuff. You don't need to defend or justify your choices just because a lot of others don't understand where you're coming from.

If you don't want to do this, just don't - it's not too late to change your mind, and your friend will find the information he needs elsewhere when he knows that he won't be getting it from you. You'll be doing him a favour too, if he ends up learning from someone who actually enjoys that kind of work, rather than someone who is feeling resentful because he doesn't really want to be doing it in the first place.

Thanks
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MONEYMECH2010 13 years ago

HELLO HOW IS EVERYONE TODAY!

IM KIND OF NEW HERE BUT ITS VERY GOOD TO SEE HOW MUCH PEOPLE DISCUSS ON HERE, ITS VERY REFRESHIING IN FACT.

THANKS FOR ALL YOUR DISCUSSIONS I LEARN A LOT FROM READING!
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Shaun Lee

13 years ago

Hi The Oilman,

Whatever you do, as long as you feel comfortable and it's not harming any living thing, it's OK. It's your life and only you can control it. So if you hate helping them, so be it. No harm done.

-Shaun

P.S MONEYMECH2010, according to forum rules, your signature cannot contain affiliate links. Oh yes, type and reply in proper grammar if possible.

Thanks

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Nicholas Kemp

13 years ago

It sounds like either you don't like this person or that you don't like working with people. Either way, tell him the truth - that you don't want to do it. If he is a friend you should be honest. You could also recommend the services of someone else.

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Ruka

13 years ago

Hey, Oilman

You sound like you feel guilty.

Whether he is a friend or not - if you don't want to help him out on this, you don't have to. No guilt.

Just say you are busy with your own business, and that is enough.

I think you need to stand up for yourself.

You can still help him on other things, he'll help you (hopefully!) with other things, you'll hang out together non-work. It's OK to say no.

With the greatest of respect - it sounds to me like you are thinking and analysing things so much, and what good does that do?

Just focus on having good times that you enjoy with this friend. Don't spend too much time worrying.

Thanks

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KenThompson

13 years ago

If you don't really feel like doing it, then don't.

You're feeling pressure because you two are friends. You're
in a spot that seems to be lose-lose, for you. If you do it
you may experience true resentment toward it and him. If you
don't do it I think this guy will have a problem with it, and you'll
most likely hear about it.

I recently backed-out of doing business with a fairly good
acquaintance. The reasons were business related and nothing
more. But this guy acted like I committed some horrible misdeed.
I tried explaining without being 100% upfront because I felt this
guy had some issues in several areas. The issues were not
apparent earlier in the process.

So now, we are no longer talking to each other which is fine with
me. It is unfortunate, yes. But you know what? It was a business
decision, and that's the way it is. If he can't take it, then it's his
problem and not mine.

You're in a sticky spot.

I would recommend maybe you just explain that you do not want
to do business with someone you're friends with. Or, teach someone
you're friends with.

It's really up to him how he's gonna take it and deal with it. That's
not your problem.

You'll be doing him and your self a favor by being upfront and truthful
about it.

He's a big boy, he'll deal with it. You can always tell him to join the Warrior
Forum and learn on his own.

Thanks
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Leigh Beckett 13 years ago

Seems to me this guy wants a coach. So he simply has to pay for coaching like any of us have had to. If you don't want to do it that's fine, tell him its not your thing or you're too tied up with other projects and can't give him the value he deserves and maybe recommend someone else.

We've all had to go through a learning process whether its for IM or something else. Sometimes we're lucky and people offer their help and it works out but you can't rely on that. If he's a psychologist and an MBA he'll understand this better than anyone as he's already been paying for an education.

Remind him of the old saying: Free advice is usually worth every penny you pay for it.
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- Intrepreneur 13 years ago
  
  Point him in the right direction and leave it there as from what I can see it will only be to your greavance if you do help him out. For me I was born to be a teacher so I'd at least ensure I showed him something that works and let him decide does he want to copy it.
  
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  Owner easiery.com
  
  Started in 2009 now working on the above project.
  
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DigiCypher

13 years ago

Here's my way of relating to this...

The only "business partners" I've had have been my band mates. We've been through a few band members in the past, and for whatever reason, when it came time for them to leave, the friendship suffered as a result.

Going into business with friends can be a tough issue to go about tactfully. My advice is just be careful... When business becomes the main problem between friends, it can and will normally screw up a friendship.

A perfect example for me; Currently we are recording an album. We have a friend who is the recording engineer. We were given a time estimate for it to be done. He started going over, but since he was a friend, we were lenient. We gave him more time. And inevitably, he took advantage of our leniency, thinking it would be fine since we were friends.

Long story short, we're re-recording in a different studio, and after lost money, wasted time and what was almost a physical confrontation (along with various arguments), we no longer speak and are no longer friends.

Keep friends and business partners separate. It's easier that way.

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CAPTCHAbiz

13 years ago

In my case, i simply ask my friends to make account at blogger.com, most of them never tried to, and some of them didn't understood and if few of them are successful i inform the 'successful' one, that next step is to make accounts on hubpages, squidoo, technorati etc well they are no more interested ;-)

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The Oilman

13 years ago

Hahah Carsonrathi. Good point. Tell him to make a blog. Most likely he will not. You know why? Because he wants to go BIG right away. i know that will be his mentality.

I guess what bugs me about this whole ordeal is that VERY VERY few people can have the IRRATIONAL passion that I have with Marketing.

I think that people must be SUPER passionate to get into something.

This guy is married with two kids and I just do not see him doing it. Hes motivated in life and hes a great guy, but first off -- hes not good with computers. That alone is a real negative.

However, there are many gurus and stuff who have done great without even knowing much about computers.

But they MUST know quite a bit. I mean, computers are the medium.

I dont know -_ thanks for everyones advice on this.. Its still tough for me. I am not a phone person and hes called me. And its not only him, its him and his friend. They both have goofy ideas and I just quite frankly dont really want to deal with it, but I probably will.

Well, maybe I should stop making assumptions about the guy and just talk to him a bit.

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hlstew 13 years ago

I know you got alot of advice here but if you are agonizing about it this much BEFORE you get into, imagine what it's going to be like once you take that first check. You're going to resent him and yourself for taking on something that was against your gut instinct.

If your gut, your mind and your heart are saying no, then tell your friend no. If he's a friend, he'll still be a friend after you decline to help. And yes, send him to the Warrior forum (through an affiliate link. LOL) The ads said Just Say No.

My two cents. :-)
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Mr. Enthusiastic

13 years ago

You're really spinning on this, Oilman. High time to put up the sign: Ain't No Drillin' Here, Pardner.

Just wait til the next phone call. Tell him you like his friendship and you don't want to try to mix that with business. Tell him he's going to be happier if he gets someone who can be on call and put things into MBA-style analysis, and you don't have either the time or the education for that. Tell him you might occasionally have an online idea for him but it's totally OK whether or not he uses it. Tell him you have a different type of business and personality, so what works for you might not work for him anyway.

Then invite him to the big game or the picnic or whatever Oilmen do to hang out with friends. Get it over with so he's not left wondering either.

Frank Kern's "core influence" talk (the new freebie video) has a good section about this. If you're an entrepreneur, shouldn't that include only doing business in situations that make you happy, with people you like and respect?

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Terry Crim

13 years ago

If you don't feel it and don't want to work with the guy, Don't. You can tell him that you charge for that and quote some large number and watch his reaction. Is a good way to turn the person off completely from associating with you as well if that is what you want to do.

My guess is he wouldn't pay for the help, thinking you are firends and all it is your duty to help free of charge. Quoting him a price would probably shock him away from you. LOL

- T

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Edk

13 years ago

I feel it's going too far to say I wouldn't like to help this particular friend. If he condescends to you now {"means no harm by it"(???)}, he'll be happy to rip into you when he learns IM. If you don't want to help him don't. Find a way not to and don't.

I sure know the value of friendship; in this instance skip it. Maybe you can direct him to some guru you honestly believe will help him and leave him to it.

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James Campbell

13 years ago

Point him in the direction of this forum or to a person from this forum that would be willing to help him for a $fee$.

Tell him you simply do not have the time due to your IM projects, and that he can find all the information he needs here or from X person here.

One last thing. Don't send him to me

James

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czilbersher

13 years ago

Originally Posted by James Campbell

Point him in the direction of this forum or to a person from this forum that would be willing to help him for a $.

Tell him you simply do not have the time due to your IM projects, and that he can find all the information he needs here or from X person here.

One last thing. Don't send him to me

James

Excellent idea! In fact, point him to one of those people on this forum who say they're desperate to make $2,000 in 7 days and will do ANYTHING to do it.

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ivana

13 years ago

Let's make this fair to everyone!

You can only be happy doing what you like doing! If you do not want to work with friends, that is your choice! It happens! I love helping people, but there are times I am going crazy because instead of putting in 8 hours, I end up working 12 or more! Which means I am too tired!

But do what makes you happy! If you take on to help him against your will, that friendship is doomed

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