Would you recommend IM to a member of your family who was struggling financially?

27 replies
I had to have a difficult conversation with a member of my family this week who is struggling finanancially and is currently out of work.

He approached me because of he knew I was self employed working online and he wanted to know if he could do the same thing.

It put me in a dilemma because I wanted to say 'Yes, of course you can'.

But I couldn't!

I know what kind of person he is and knew that he wouldn't be motivated to get up on a morning and do all that he had to do that day to make progress.

I also worried that because he was so low on funds his financial situation would get worse over the coming months as he tried to apply what he had learnt.

My advise to him was to try and get a job with a regular income to get back on his feet and I said that I would spend some time showing him some basics of IM that might help him get established.

In my heart I know I gave him good advice but I still feel bad.

Internet marketing is not easy and it does require lots of hard work and determination to succeed.

What advice would you give members of your family if they were in a similar situation?

Would you advise them to get a salary paid job or enter IM?

Gary
#family #financially #member #recommend #struggling
  • Profile picture of the author Blanket
    Salary paid job. For sure.

    Getting started in IM takes time and, for me, started as a weekend thing to pay for toys. It was never meant to carry me financially, nor would it have been able to at first.
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  • Profile picture of the author netbiz5555
    Your question really depends on the situation.

    If the family member were highly motivated and willing to spend the next 12-24 months learning the business, absolutely.

    I would then let them know all of the pitfalls and mistakes I made and try to help them get on the right track faster than I did.

    Great question though.

    Brett
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  • Profile picture of the author King Shiloh
    Banned
    Hmmm, Gary, this IM business requires more than waking up in the morning, dressing up and going to your office.

    It requires positive attitude. It requires a lot of PATIENCE.

    It requires "madness" sometimes. That is, trying to prove what others say it is not possible to be possible.

    I will look at the person critically before I recommend. It's really a hard decision.

    If you can't do it, you can't do it. It's not by word of mouth; it is by taking relevant actions.
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  • Profile picture of the author txconx
    Some people just aren't cut out to work at home and be their own boss. I think it's smart of you to recognize that. You can't teach people motivation.
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    • Profile picture of the author ozduc
      Originally Posted by txconx View Post

      You can't teach people motivation.
      Stop the Press!
      Someone had better warn Tony Robbins.
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      • Profile picture of the author txconx
        Originally Posted by ozduc View Post

        Stop the Press!
        Someone had better warn Tony Robbins.
        I have my own cynical theories about that.
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        • Profile picture of the author tonyburr
          I think I'd do exactly as you did - after all, if the conviction's *really* there, they'll go ahead and get started no matter WHAT you say!

          Good luck to them, either way :-)
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        • Profile picture of the author Andyhenry
          Originally Posted by txconx View Post

          I have my own cynical theories about that.
          And that is why you believe it.

          I KNOW that you can teach motivation - because I do teach it.

          This thread is interesting in the way it has brought about some of peoples believes about success and IM.

          Hey Gary - don't beat yourself up, you gave the best advice you had to give - that's something you should feel good about.

          Here's what I think.

          ANYONE can do well online - regardless of how they behave in other areas of their life.

          The reason I say this is that most people do have what's required to take action, they just aren't necessarily using that skill in the places that you see or that it impacts others much. It takes motivation to get out of bed.

          Gary's friend will need motivation in order to get out and find a job - it's not a matter of whether someone has the abilities to take action - we all do.

          And as for not being motivated at the right time - that's a choice and a habit, which can easily be changed either alone or with the right help.

          Internet Marketing knowledge is nothing special - it's not rocket science and almost anyone can learn most of what you need to know to get started. If you know how to operate a tv, mobile phone and dvd player etc. you've already learned things more complicated than IM needs to be.

          People like to think IM is hard or that not everyone can do it - because that supports their own theories about why their success took so long or hasn't happened. If they thought it was easy but hadn't succeeded they beat themselves up about it.

          Because IM is such a diverse topic with thousands of ways of actually focusing and implementing things, there's always a way for someone to create a plan that they can work.

          So - this issue in my opinion is not about whether someone can do it or not, but whether right now is the time. If no-one around them can guide them and they're completely new to IM - they'll probably get sucked into the barrage of mass marketing information designed to create an information product buyer of them.

          So, maybe practically it is impossible right now for some people - but that's not for anyone else to decide.

          Someone's ability to take action is usually largely defined by their beliefs and their motivation. Most of us have had moments where something has clicked inside us and we've decided "enough is enough!" and changed a life-long habit - ask any ex-smoker.

          So, while I would definitely consider recommending that someone struggle financially get employment to pay the rent short term - I don't believe we should pigeon-hole people so generally as to say "they can never be successful in IM".

          Andy
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          • Profile picture of the author AndrewCavanagh
            Good call.

            Someone who has never run a business and doesn't have any skills shouldn't be expecting to make a full time living from day one in internet marketing.

            Realistically it's going to take you 3 months or more from zero to do that if you work hard and follow instructions.

            If the person you're dealing with isn't self motivated enough to take action day in and day out for at least three months without making any significant return then he'll probably never make a significant income.

            The attitude that you can get into internet marketing and make a fortune your first month without prior experience and training is obviously ridiculous.

            Would you expect to get into doctoring next week and be paid for it?

            It takes some skill to make money and you have to be willing to invest time and effort in developing that skill.

            To become a successful doctor you go to university.

            To become a successful business person you go to the university of hard knocks.

            For some people the course is longer...for some it's shorter.

            Some already have the training and experience to hit the ground running immediately.

            But there's no free ride and it is definitely NOT like working a job where you get paid every week almost regardless of how well you do.

            Kindest regards,
            Andrew Cavanagh
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            • Profile picture of the author luckystepho
              I think you gave them the right advice so don't feel bad- you have offered to help them build up an IM business once they have a regular income so it will be up to them to then build it up to a level to replace the job. I have a job and IM is very much a spare time (evenings and weekends) activity until I can replace my job.

              I am currently helping my little sister to build up an online presence, she is employed but working shifts and not earning a great deal.
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  • Profile picture of the author Bruce NewMedia
    I have to tell you, most people are not as motivated or as disciplined as they claim...

    I've been approached by a number of people over the years, about self-employment.
    The problem is they always seem to arrive in a state of almost sheer desperation. Almost completely broke and grasping for anything. ..not a good place to be.

    They want 'instant success' or they're not really interested. They want you to tell them the ONE SECRET that will allow them to skip all the hard work and years of effort.

    Dan Kennedy, used to call these folks "Forced Entrepreneurs" ....emphasis on the word 'forced'. Thats what I have a problem with. If they were presently employed in a decent job, they wouldn't even consider self-employment whether on the internet or elsewhere.

    The people I've known who've done well as self-employed were usually driven for reasons OTHER THAN MONEY. Unfortunately, an unemployed, desperate person's
    motive, understandably, is all about getting money right now..

    A job, any job, is usually a better fit in those cases...self employment can always follow that.
    _____
    Bruce
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  • Profile picture of the author R Hagel
    Originally Posted by garyfromdurham View Post

    In my heart I know I gave him good advice but I still feel bad.
    Don't feel bad.

    If you were a brain surgeon and your best friend wanted to be one too, you'd take one look at his shaky hands and say "no way" -- and neither of you would feel bad.

    If you were an NBA star and your best friend was 5'3" and could hardly dribble a ball, you'd say "no way" -- and neither of you would feel bad.

    If you were a lifeguard and your best friend was afraid of water, you'd say "no, heck no" -- and neither of you would feel bad.



    So, don't feel bad for giving good advice.

    Cheers,
    Becky
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  • Profile picture of the author Raydal
    Although I started IM from a desperate position, I already had
    evidences of being self-motivated by the the fact that I
    taught myself a number of skills--computer repair, HTML,
    piano, electronic repair ....

    So in looking back I see why I made it as an IM was because
    I had the discipline to stick with it until I got it right.

    I've been in the position where I tried network marketing
    and blew it because I wanted the money right away. Not
    a good position to be in.

    I also have friends who are unemployed and fear giving
    them 'false' hope by introducing them to IM. It's not the
    "easy" way out of financial problems. WalMart might be
    more helpful there.

    -Ray Edwards
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  • Profile picture of the author mmixon
    I do a job search skills training class, and have been for 10 years. Most, at least 80% of the attendees just want a job. They are not interested in self-employment at all. Many go into consulting (also self-employment), after being out of work for months with no job offers, and needing income, but it is a last resort for them to even do that.
    Starting from scratch in IM may not put any money on the table right away, but each situation is different. If I were stuck in Detroit, without a job and I could not leave, IM may be an excellent solution, but in the Houston area, you just need to get out and find a job. You may need to update your skills, or even change fields, but jobs are available here. What happens with most people looking for a job is they get discouraged and just give up/quit trying.
    My advice to a family member? "Get a job first then I'l teach you all I can about IM. Perhaps you will be able to quit your job in a year and go into IM full time."
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  • Profile picture of the author munnacircuit
    if its full time job then you need dedication and hard work..you can succeed but it will def. take time..I wouldnt recomment my family member IM as alternate to professional job unless I know if he/she is determined to make money online
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  • Profile picture of the author Goatboy
    I have been in the exact same spot and my answer was "no, you shouldn't try this."

    IM requires a certain level of computer and web saavy and anyone who is afraid of making mistakes on the computer probably should not be involved. There is also a whole lot of work involved, this is not a free lunch. Most will fail and of the few remaining, only some will get rich and those not quickly.
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  • Profile picture of the author sanssecret
    You'd feel a lot worse if you said yes, and he ended up in a worse financial situation.
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  • Profile picture of the author mjhult
    Definitely get a job for the income and learn IM at night and weekends. If IM took off and he has what it takes, he could quit his job.
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    • Profile picture of the author SuzanneR
      Ditto all the posts that say most people aren't cut out for it.

      It's not just the motivation factor or being disciplined. There's also the failure factor. How many people are willing to keep on going after falling on their face a few times?
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  • Profile picture of the author WhamSoft
    I think the learning curve is to steep for most people, but the time they have made anymore money they will most likely quit. Perhaps they could do some home based work like article writing to earn some easier cash.
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  • Profile picture of the author Hobo82
    Nice question Gary, you did the right thing, you probably would have felt worse if you offered to help and the person failed and than blamed you on top of that.

    Hobo82
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  • Profile picture of the author entrepenerd
    I've been in your same spot and really want to help many of my family members out by teaching them how to make money online. Trust me, it never works.

    I've spent hours with some of them giving them the exact outline to get started with, and they do absolutely nothing with it. Some of them are still trying to make money online, but doing it be going and getting advice somewhere else or buying some other system without taking the time and effort to do what I taught them.

    Most people just want to take the magic, easy pill and make millions online. If what you're telling them seems like any effort at all, they'll get suckered in by someone else who tells them they can sell them a system that makes it all push-button easy. Family members are no different.

    You just saved your family a lot of heartache and headache. Not to mention saving yourself a bunch of time and frustration with having to teach them and them still not doing anything with it.

    Don't fret about it. You did the right thing.

    It's natural to want to help, and that's exactly what you did. Even if it's not really the way that you wanted to help.
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  • Profile picture of the author badboy_Nick
    Originally Posted by garyfromdurham View Post

    I had to have a difficult conversation with a member of my family this week who is struggling finanancially and is currently out of work.

    He approached me because of he knew I was self employed working online and he wanted to know if he could do the same thing.

    It put me in a dilemma because I wanted to say 'Yes, of course you can'.

    But I couldn't!

    I know what kind of person he is and knew that he wouldn't be motivated to get up on a morning and do all that he had to do that day to make progress.

    I also worried that because he was so low on funds his financial situation would get worse over the coming months as he tried to apply what he had learnt.

    My advise to him was to try and get a job with a regular income to get back on his feet and I said that I would spend some time showing him some basics of IM that might help him get established.

    In my heart I know I gave him good advice but I still feel bad.

    Internet marketing is not easy and it does require lots of hard work and determination to succeed.

    What advice would you give members of your family if they were in a similar situation?

    Would you advise them to get a salary paid job or enter IM?

    Gary
    Yes, absolutely.

    But I would of course TEACH him myself how to do it properly. There's way too much information out there for a newbie ... the danger of getting information overload and running yourself into the ground are very high.

    Personally, I would show him what I do and he can duplicate it while he still has his normal job. Once he makes enough money I would advice him to wait a few months and then quit his job and go full-time.

    That's what I did as well, but I had to figure it out all by myself.

    Nick
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  • Profile picture of the author auris
    Many people new to internet marketing expect to make money fairly easily online, probably due to all the over hyped products & stories of amazing earnings.

    So when it doesn't happen quickly for them they are quick to label all things online as scams without realizing that to make it online can be even more difficult than in a conventional business.

    So if your family member isn't a sensible, self driven sort of person I wouldn't bother trying to encourage them to go into IM - it could cause you more trouble than it's worth.

    Rather assist them in getting a conventional job that pays a regular income.
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  • Profile picture of the author kctang
    I agree with AndyH that you can teach motivation...


    But I totally agree that Gary's decision is the right one.

    From experience, desperation is a terrible position to be in for learning self-employment. (I still remember the night where I called a big name guru's hotline, and begged to be taught the secrets of IM, lol... Uggh... Thankfully for me he never replied.)

    For someone to consider IM out of lack of security, which requires investment and risk taking, its a recipe for disaster.

    Your advise will likely include areas that they need to invest... and this is a person who is fearing lack of money -- unless they "luck out", only 2 things can happen...

    -They get fearful and go find something less risky, like a 'get rich quick' or a job...

    -They take your advice, and upon 'losing' that initial investment or failure in any perceived way, they blame you and your relationship might even go sour.


    I do disagree with most that 'not everybody can learn this' or 'learn to persevere'...

    But the timing that makes people open to learning this type of work is very critical... and its outside of your control.

    If you had told them what you did, while they were financially secure, yet 'wanting more' out of life, then you should feel ashamed.

    But you told them what you did to protect them from pitfalls they did not see... so you made the right decision.
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  • Profile picture of the author molsted
    Hmmm....

    Depending on what kind of relations you have with this guy (if good) you could maybe suggest that he -- while applying for a job -- comes over to your place a couple of times a week and you teach him the basics.

    Then you give him some "home work" and see how he copes with that.

    Tell him to save up money once he gets a new job and then when he have the funds - he can start working on his business if he still has the motivation...

    (PS: make sure you give him some really boring tasks in order to test his willpower ;-)
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  • Profile picture of the author Kelly Verge
    From someone who was there...

    He should have some form of steady income before staring in IM.

    My biggest challenge when I started was cash flow. I had to pay my bills. That made it impossible in many cases to outsource, work towards future income and growth, and re-invest in my business. I was never able to try PPC, hire a coach or do much more than those activities that directly led to immediate income.

    Because of this, it took much longer for my business to grow than it should have.

    Yes, there are those who jump immediately from financial problems to wild success in IM, but the reality is that he'd be running a race in shackles.
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