Trying To Think Like A Woman Is Making My Head Hurt

by DeadGuy 30 replies
I could use some feminine help here. I know it's shocking for a guy to ask a woman for help, but here goes.

If you are an experienced and successful female IM'er, would it be possible for you to divulge ANY of the mental triggers that you use in your sales campaigns? Guys are easy to motivate and, yes, there are triggers that do motivate men and women alike. But women are different animals altogether when it comes to buying. At least our dismal sales records to women for both physical and information products points to that fact.

Are there any female IM'ers out there willing to share their insights?
#main internet marketing discussion forum #head #hurt #making #woman
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  • Profile picture of the author Marhelper
    Dude ... don't even try
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    • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
      Banned
      Originally Posted by Marhelper View Post

      Dude ... don't even try
      lol ... probably good advice. What are you selling?
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  • Profile picture of the author Steve Holmes
    Have you seen that film staring Mel Gibson called "What Women Want?" Well... when he needed to get inside a womans head he dressed up as one, donned some lipstick and started dancing to songs the girls love...

    Hey...Just sayin
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  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    There are a few decent books about selling to women. It's not
    really any harder, in my experience, but for niches like
    "make money online" their criteria tend to be different
    from the men's.

    There's a lot too the topic, obviously. If you are selling
    a gender-specific product like maxi-pads it's different from
    selling a training course for income development. Women
    actually tend to be thoughtful, pragmatic buyers in many
    areas so if you're assuming they just "go with their emotions"
    you're dead wrong. With "make money" products men are
    way more inclined to the impulse buy than women are in
    my experience.

    I looked in your sig-line. That's why I'm guessing at your niche.
    .
    .
    .
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    • Profile picture of the author Mike Anthony
      MIght help not to think in terms of women in general and more woman in particular. I usually think what my Mom and sister would like or not. Known both my whole life so it helps to filter out the Male Female divide in terms of sexual tension.
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  • Profile picture of the author Maryleena
    Talking from self experience... I think that women who are in the IM nice, has a small Y-kromosome... I mean, you have to do SEO, WordPress blogs, Install scripts and so on.

    At least that is me... I really compare the benefit/price/time (and my current finansial situation) before making a buy.
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    • Profile picture of the author DeathAndDisco
      Originally Posted by Maryleena View Post

      Talking from self experience... I think that women who are in the IM nice, has a small Y-kromosome... I mean, you have to do SEO, WordPress blogs, Install scripts and so on.

      At least that is me... I really compare the benefit/price/time (and my current finansial situation) before making a buy.
      +1
      I'm technically female, but now that I recently started a project that's aimed towards women, I feel like I'm trying to appeal to a different species than my own.
      But I think I can manage this better than a guy would.

      Originally Posted by DeadGuy View Post

      Like I said. It's simple to sell to men since their buttons are so easily pushed. But I've tried the same approach toward women and it just doesn't work effectively. Especially if you are selling physical products. I'll bet I could sell 100 pairs of pantyhose to men without ever selling one, single, woman. Shoes and handbags are about the only products I've ever been able to figure out.
      That's surprising. I'd guess that women are more likely to buy physical products than digital ones.

      Originally Posted by DrivenForMillions View Post

      Notice how when you sell to women you're not trying to sell them, but convince them by influencing emotions. A man will convince himself, because of the society's influence on the importance of a man making his own decisions (being a "man").
      +1

      Originally Posted by DrivenForMillions View Post

      It's kind of a broken post, I'm fighting with my puppy to not chew on my laptop cord.
      Aww. :3

      Originally Posted by moneymakingwiz View Post

      GO for emotions, do not try to solve the problem but try your audience to feel for you, to get identified with your story.
      Be sincere, don't use hype.
      Women do not trust hype messages and promises in the air. We want to feel that you are for real.
      This is so true.
      I just went through dozens of "squeeze pages" today, mostly for educational purposes, I didn't buy anything though signed up for free ebooks. But anyways, they all use this aggressive hyping tactic, and it doesn't appeal to me at all.

      You may wonder how you can possibly sell anything without using caps lock and one too many exclamation points, but I guess you'll have to find other ways of catching and holding women's attention.

      For example, if you're selling beauty products or clothes or anything else appealing to vanity: use imagery, and make it top-notch. Elegant design, beautiful photographs, gorgeous models, etc. Text is secondary.
      (If I was selling, say, men's suits (for men, duh) I wouldn't try to appeal to them the same way, I wouldn't think I can hold the customers' attention by using pictures of handsome male models in said suits. I'd add a chick or two, and make the text more important than any images.)

      If you're selling health products (weight loss is a popular one), then asserting the safety of the product is equal to trying to appeal to the customers' vanity.

      If you're selling something other than vanity products, then you have to show that you care. You care about their safety / you care about their feelings / whatever applies.


      tl;dr version:
      1) pretty things! <3
      2) safety
      3) caring
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      • Profile picture of the author Sojourn
        Originally Posted by DeathAndDisco View Post

        This is so true.
        I just went through dozens of "squeeze pages" today, mostly for educational purposes, I didn't buy anything though signed up for free ebooks. But anyways, they all use this aggressive hyping tactic, and it doesn't appeal to me at all.
        moneymakingwiz and DeathAndDisco hit the proverbial nail...the aggressive tactics are a turn off to me as a woman no matter how good the product sounds. You might as well walk up in a plaid jacket and chest hairs poking out through 3 gold chains. I'm going the other way.

        The other thought that runs through my head before buying online is "can I get this cheaper elsewhere". Want to sell me something I need? Prove to me I can't get it for less on another site without my having to leave your site to check.

        I'm in the middle of a book called "How to Say it For Women". It's not about selling TO women but more about how women communicate and the things we do to sabotage ourselves verbally and in writing. Does give an interesting perspective on the differences in communication styles between the two sexes.
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  • Profile picture of the author tschmigiel
    Well Always always always honesty and integrity! I say go with the philosophy everyone has a pain.... Find that and you can sell them! ......know what I mean?
    & I would suggest a sense of humor! that's what made me read this post! but I am different than most! ;-)
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    • Profile picture of the author CC
      Just take two aspirin and take Marhelpers advice.

      Connie
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  • Profile picture of the author Mattie
    Women like to think that they are getting a bargain.

    It doesn't have to actually be so, just have them believing that are getting the deal of a lifetime will generally work.

    Don't talk down to them because whatever you've been lead to believe, women ain't stupid.
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    • Profile picture of the author donmccobb
      Lot's of luck with that one. i don't think they know.

      Don McCobb
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      • Originally Posted by Steve Holmes View Post

        Have you seen that film staring Mel Gibson called "What Women Want?" Well... when he needed to get inside a womans head he dressed up as one, donned some lipstick and started dancing to songs the girls love...
        Never noticed he donned the lipstick. I knew that he could read into their minds, but I don't remember the lipstick. Anyway, I think the day men put on the dress, wear all the make up, done the stilettos, and do their nails, not to mention, breastfeed, cook, clean, work and do 20 things at once, (wow just got exhausted listing everything) Only then will they come even close, well actually maybe not... My husband won't even try one of the above mentioned without complaining (like cooking or cleaning)LOL!!:rolleyes:

        Originally Posted by Marhelper View Post

        Dude ... don't even try
        THERE we go... Now that is more like it!!!!
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    • Profile picture of the author theimdude
      Originally Posted by Mattie View Post

      Women like to think that they are getting a bargain.

      It doesn't have to actually be so, just have them believing that are getting the deal of a lifetime will generally work.

      Don't talk down to them because whatever you've been lead to believe, women ain't stupid.
      I totally disagree here and speaking of experience ....... good experience ..... matured experience. In other words I know what I am talking about.

      My wife buy with her EYES and not HER POCKET .... I mean my pocket as I am the pocket. When my wife do buy something that is a "bargain" it is not valued as much as the expensive item and she is always fooled at these "SALE" signs. The more I tell her it is only a marketing tactic the more my pocket gets empty so I have learned to keep my mouth shut.

      Either way I can't win:rolleyes: ...... but I still love her

      Edit - I have just read my own post and it is confusing me now so I am sorry for causing confusion here
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  • Profile picture of the author jacquic
    Women working form home like to do it:

    1. To allay guilt (being there for the children)
    2. To be with the children, esp if they are ill
    3. To bring in extra cash (and here's where you need to dig deeper)...in order to have security/lifestyle/pay the bills/support hubby/not go brain dead ...and so on.
    4. Work-life balance
    5. Etc - all circumstances are different.

    You see, money is what most people will answer. Finding out why they want the money is what will make your sales:

    Why do you want extra cash?
    [answer 1]
    Why do you want that?
    [answer 2]
    Why do you want that? (yes, again)
    [answer 3]

    Etc.

    Also ask, and what would happen if you didn't have that?

    Devise an online questionnaire and reap in the answers. Make sure you give a freebie to make it worth their while.

    ~ Jacqui
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  • Profile picture of the author DeadGuy
    Thanks Ladies! That's the sort of input I've been hoping for. Keep it coming if you have any other suggestions.

    Like I said. It's simple to sell to men since their buttons are so easily pushed. But I've tried the same approach toward women and it just doesn't work effectively. Especially if you are selling physical products. I'll bet I could sell 100 pairs of pantyhose to men without ever selling one, single, woman. Shoes and handbags are about the only products I've ever been able to figure out.
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    • Originally Posted by DeadGuy View Post

      Thanks Ladies! That's the sort of input I've been hoping for. Keep it coming if you have any other suggestions.

      Like I said. It's simple to sell to men since their buttons are so easily pushed. But I've tried the same approach toward women and it just doesn't work effectively. Especially if you are selling physical products. I'll bet I could sell 100 pairs of pantyhose to men without ever selling one, single, woman. Shoes and handbags are about the only products I've ever been able to figure out.

      YOU figured out right. Most women LOVE shoes and handbags. BTW I forgot to mention in my first post that I think women probably are a lot more conscious about spending a dime than most men are. This said you have to find ways of making us understand that this product of yours (virtual or physical) will help solve some of our problems. I over analyze things too much, maybe its just me, but I often make a mental list of pros and cons... Do I need it? What will I get as a result of it? How much will it cost me? If I were to skip getting it, will I be kicking myself afterward? Again, that is just ME, some women probably are not as analytical, but when you have a family you tend to over analyze everything, because after all, your decisions will affect your family as well. YEAH, even when it comes to buying a product!!!:rolleyes:
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  • Profile picture of the author Robert Puddy
    Just remember this rule...

    Anything said after the woman has had the last word...

    is the start of a new argument

    (ducks for incoming)
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    • Profile picture of the author sanssecret
      PMSL

      Luckily, it made me smile, so no need to duck... this time.

      Originally Posted by Robert Puddy View Post

      Just remember this rule...

      Anything said after the woman has had the last word...

      is the start of a new argument

      (ducks for incoming)
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  • Profile picture of the author Brenden Clerget
    I'm a pretty big player in the offline pick up niche and dating niche. I do personal consultation for businesses and individuals that need help with women, whether it be relationships, or sales, or marketing.

    Women act, react, and buy on their emotions. Men use logic.

    Example:

    You're selling a $2,997 course on how to make money on the internet.

    To sell this to a man you should say things like:
    - You can use the techniques I've shown you to make your investment back. (Removes risk)
    - You will have a system that has generated me $1,000,000 a year for three years (Social proof, builds rapport)
    - I will lead you by the hand (Removes prerequisites)

    For a woman it'd go something like this:

    - Your knowledge and abilities will flourish with this system, and the value you will gain throughout your marketing ventures will be substantially higher than others who don't know this information. (This puts their value as a marketer higher than others, makes them feel better about the purchase)
    - You will have the skills that you need to do anything you'd like in internet marketing. Choose your goal, and achieve it. I chose to make a million dollars last year, will you? (Empowerment, proves income but connects it to feelings and choice)

    Notice how when you sell to women you're not trying to sell them, but convince them by influencing emotions. A man will convince himself, because of the society's influence on the importance of a man making his own decisions (being a "man").

    Hopefully this sheds some light on it. It's kind of a broken post, I'm fighting with my puppy to not chew on my laptop cord.

    - Brenden Clerget
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    • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
      Banned
      Originally Posted by DrivenForMillions View Post

      Women act, react, and buy on their emotions. Men use logic. - Brenden Clerget
      I'm a woman and I use logic to make purchasing decisions. Do I need it? How will it benefit me to have it? Can I afford it? Is it a good value? I see you're selling that data entry stuff. Smart women (and men) have known that is a scam for a long time now. Even on a lot of WAHM sites I've seen, they tell people it's a scam. Women who are very poor, maybe unemployed and may or may not have children to raise by themselves and aren't particularly bright may still buy it, but your average women with a brain who does a little homework in advance will steer clear. I think if you want to get good insight on how to sell to women, you could check out some of the top WAHM sites and see how they're doing it.
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    • Profile picture of the author moneymakingwiz
      Apply to the woman's emotions.
      For example:
      Let's say you are selling a make money online course, tell your personal story and how you struggled and were disssapointed to see no progress and were almost ready to give up and then one day succeeded to earn x $ in one day and your wife/mother/sister had tears in their eyes when u told them.
      Then explain how u can teach them to be successful also etc...

      GO for emotions, do not try to solve the problem but try your audience to feel for you, to get identified with your story.
      Be sincere, don't use hype.
      Women do not trust hype messages and promises in the air. We want to feel that you are for real.

      As said here before, Mel Gibson did it in a movie, you have us women IMs to give u an insight to our minds.

      Let us know how it went.
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    • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
      Originally Posted by DrivenForMillions View Post

      Women act, react, and buy on their emotions. Men use logic.
      Yeah. Because no man has ever bought an impractical sports car, for instance. :rolleyes:

      To the OP:

      If you're targeting around half the population, that's a pretty large and unfocused niche. Might be better to narrow things down a little.

      You could start by defining exactly who your target market is (clue: it's not just a gender). Where do they hang out? What do they like to do? In other words, answer the sort of questions that should be included in any research you do for whatever product you sell.

      In doing so, you'll find out what they're currently buying and who is successfully selling those products/services to them. It then shouldn't be too hard to reverse-engineer the sales process and model that success.

      All humans buy on emotion - you just need to tap into the right one(s).


      Frank
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  • Profile picture of the author MisterMunch
    Eben Pegan thought me that to understand women, you need to get into their lifestyle. He suggested buying romance novels, and watching drama series.

    It should be noted that Eban called himself David DeAngelo at the time, and it was aimed towards picking up hot woman.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dunder
    Donna Fox does a great presentation that helps you get into the mind of a woman from an IMers perspective. Do a search for her and you might be able to get some good tips.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    Trying To Think Like A Woman Is Making My Head Hurt

    Well of course it makes your head hurt, you're trying to figure out the impossible. Look, 91% of married men admit they can't figure out their own wife, let alone the gender as a whole. The other 9% are lying. Keep pushing it and your head will surely explode.
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    Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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  • Profile picture of the author Bryan
    Originally Posted by DeadGuy View Post

    I could use some feminine help here. I know it's shocking for a guy to ask a woman for help, but here goes.

    If you are an experienced and successful female IM'er, would it be possible for you to divulge ANY of the mental triggers that you use in your sales campaigns? Guys are easy to motivate and, yes, there are triggers that do motivate men and women alike. But women are different animals altogether when it comes to buying. At least our dismal sales records to women for both physical and information products points to that fact.

    Are there any female IM'ers out there willing to share their insights?
    First off, it looks like you are trying to get triggers that fit all women. You may find it more effective finding what it is what your specific niche market is discussing. When you have an idea of their problems, what things the want to know, you'll get an idea of their "Why" as well, which will get you on the path of figuring out what language they will connect to.

    You may want to research the niche market, and see what they want. Going to forums will give you good idea of triggers that could work.

    Try this and see if it helps:

    - Go to Google and type in your niche, product, or something related
    - Click "Show options" at the top of the results page
    - Click "Discussions" and give them a look over for awhile and this will give you a lot of ideas. If the gender of your niche is mixed, you will still get an idea of women views about topics when finding out what the women are saying.
    - The "Book" option is gold as well for you'll come across some good copy targeting your niche!

    I hope this helps.
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  • Profile picture of the author Pauline60
    Well of course trying to think like a woman is making your head hurt - you are suffering from altitude sickness.
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    • Profile picture of the author sundrop881
      Speaking as a woman, I am into 'relationships' whether perceived or real. That said I don't see a lot of them. Let me explain.

      I do have different email addresses for different things. One is just for IMers that are trying to sell me things. Gmail is great for getting the spam out, so I can test for 'relationships". I listen really good to the beginning of a webinar. If I like the promises, I will continue listening. If they made promises such as giving me some knowledge by the time the webinar is over, I log in my mind whether or not this promise is kept. I may give them 2 chances, but that's it. Hence, only half of the emails I receive are opened-those that have kept their promises. Of course, I look for freebies just before product launches, but... if my budget allows, I will buy if it is something I think I need or believe would be useful to me.

      Of course, someone who has broken promises to me can talk until they are blue in the face. I'm not budging. I don't trust him/her. I won't buy.

      And, yes, I am one that analyzes, too (Yes, even movies!)
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  • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
    Originally Posted by DeadGuy View Post

    I could use some feminine help here. I know it's shocking for a guy to ask a woman for help, but here goes.

    If you are an experienced and successful female IM'er, would it be possible for you to divulge ANY of the mental triggers that you use in your sales campaigns? Guys are easy to motivate and, yes, there are triggers that do motivate men and women alike. But women are different animals altogether when it comes to buying. At least our dismal sales records to women for both physical and information products points to that fact.

    Are there any female IM'ers out there willing to share their insights?
    1. I like to find deals, and I want to know I'm getting the best price on items that are readily available.

    2. If something is not readily available, I like to know I can get it when no one else can.

    3. I am specific about what I want. While if you look on my profile it says "platform shoes" (I think) they are very specific types of platform shoes I look for. I need the shoe to be somewhat plyable - while others might not care. I'm not into that cork stuff on my shoe, and I don't want some wooden clogs or Dr. Sholls or what ever those walking on plank shoes are.

    4. Size matters. I was a dancer in my past life, and my foot is on the wide side. I need a specific wide shoe to fit into an 8.5 american or a nine.

    5. Comfort is important. If I can't put the shoe on and walk without feeling any discomfort then I will toss it - unless it is stretchable without ruining it.

    You need to specify a demographic on your shoes to be successful with it. There are plenty of petite skinny toe girls out there as well - so keywords will help you in defining what you are offering.

    I'm not so big on the handbags. I have some, but use one main one, and for special events size is important again - as well as design.

    For instance, as a gal I want to put as many things in the smallest space as possible. lol

    Some makeup or things may not fit in some mini purses.

    Anyway, hope that helps.
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