I need to write this. I'm shaking over here. I have pain in my heart. It hurts. I'm crying.. my fingers are wet, every word I write is so hard to put on paper I ask myself what's wrong with me. I hate fear and I hate doubt.
I feel sick in my stomach.. I fear writing this but there are feelings inside me telling me to do this not later, they are telling me to write this right now. I've made $1674 $USD plus this year online when I finally overcame my procrastination habits and started to get more control with information overload. The $1674 is not my first money online. I've struggle for years.
This amount is not the first money I made online I believe I know how to make money online it takes work, persistence, focus, plan of action and I have to make this happen nobody can do this for me the doubt is always there and the fear and to be honest I've gone through so much in my life.
In my personal life I've been going through hell! I was trying to sleep but there was something inside me that told me I needed to get this out here. What I love most about the warrior forum are people who are honest and kind - especially those people who actually and for real care about others.
I'm not here to complain. I'm sick of my inaction and direction in life and where's my life is right now it's going nowhere I have always wanted to do my best for others.. I lost my friends into drugs and the people which are close to me like mom drink and they say they do it to escape from life.
It's sad to hear this...
I have never taken any drugs, I don't even drink or smoke and I'm not at all afraid to admit my mindset sucks. I've read thousand's of pages and quotes about mindset and sometimes I really think something is wrong with me.. Why can't I start take more action and really make it happen!
I really praise people who are willing to try.
I feel my heart beep is going faster and faster... Why do I have pain in my heart and why does it hurt so much, why do I think suicidal thoughts. It's because I really want to take action but still I'm dealing with inaction, but I can feel there is a strong feeling still in me who want to make this work.
What really sucks is just the idea X years later I could visit this forum and still been close to zero while others who are willing to make this work are living their dreams or life that is much more closer to their goal & dreams.
When it comes to mindset the doubt is really killing my progress and the fear often stops me before I do anything. I've been afraid to post here but I needed to do this. I've been afraid to mention people names that I have respect for in this forum, they are many, it's time to let it out right now.
Steven Wagenheim, Nick Madison, Brian Johnson, Joshua Collins, Daniel Brock, Casey Gentley, Jeremy Kelsall, Mario Brown, Michael NGuyen, ccmusicman, Ernie Lonardo and others I can't say thank you enough for everything you have shared here in this forum and I know I have forgotten names here but everyone who really contribute to this forum and care about helping others I do respect and special thanks to Michael Chriswell - I will never forget how great you are. And Casey Gentley Happy 24th Birthday.
What I really love is soon I'll be a father in the first time in my life and I can't understand why I still don't do much and my situations are rough at the moment. I really love Internet marketing. I do. It's hard to say this but the tears are rolling down my chin because I really want to change myself and make this work. It's so hard to sit here in the front of the computer to write this and admit that I'm crying here but I'm facing my own fear doing this it's the only way to overcome it and I welcome all your comments and support. It's time to wipe these tears from my face and go to sleep, thank you so much for taking your time to read this. Big thanks to you all.
#EDIT:# I want to thanks everyone who comment in this thread. I'm so grateful for it. I have said thanks to everyone and also with my thank you message which you can write here there you can see I will not commit suicide and I am regularly seeing doctor I just really like all the honest people who really care about others and I can't thank them enough. I appreciate it. The update of my thread is here: http://www.warriorforum.com/main-int...ml#post2059161 - But really thank you all for your wonderful comments and advice.