How thick-skinned do you have to be?

21 replies
When you open the doors of your business to the public (especially an online biz) I guess it's a sad inevitability that you will, sooner or later, receive negative feedback (now, there's a euphemism!) - Anything from a disgruntled list subscriber who dislikes your spelling of 'colour' to someone who is extremely offensive and rues the day they ever crossed your path.

Now, in your more enlightened moments you may realise that some of this negative feedback is useful, go on to analyse it, agree to make some changes and grow as a human being. (I can imagine you all nodding your heads in agreement!) :rolleyes:

But seriously, how much does this kind of feedback affect you?

Do you rant and rave, calling the misguided individual all the names under the sun and cursing their family, forefathers and offspring?

Or maybe you take it really personally and take days to get over it?

Or do you shrug it off as an occupational hazard and effectively ignore it?

The thing is, depending on how much you take criticism to heart, I believe it can seriously affect your confidence, the business decisions you make and ultimately how much money you make.

So, what d'you think, how do you react?
#thick skinned #thickskinned
  • Profile picture of the author KenJ
    Hi Peter

    20 years ago I would react in a completely negative and destructive way. I would even tell customers where to go. (Not a Happy Place). I would call them up and give them a piece of my mind.

    Now with 1,000's of customers under my belt (In my offline business) I just chalk it up to experience and move on. If you have been running a business for any length of time and are successful then you know that you are not the problem. You know what you are doing even if not all your customers appreciate it.

    I'm cool - well sort of

    Kenj
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2117562].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author MerlynSanchez
    There are a few people whose opinion matters to me.

    As for the rest, I do the following:

    1. Evaluate the feedback to see if there's any merit to it and whether I care
    2. If I care, then I make the necessary change if possible. If not, then I wish them a fond farewell!

    In business, as in life, I believe in surrounding myself with people who value me and what I have to offer. Therefore the sooner I know we can't do business together, the sooner I can move on to my ideal client.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2117564].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author LB
    This really strikes a chord with me. I've been asked what the first trait a person should have to be successful online and my answer is always "a thick skin".

    The anonymity of the internet means that every frustrated housewife and emasculated cubicle dweller thinks that you can be their personal punching bag when they have a bad day.

    If you take it personally, it will drive you to insanity.
    Signature
    Tired of Article Marketing, Backlink Spamming and Other Crusty Old Traffic Methods?

    Click Here.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2117578].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author E. Brian Rose
    Customer support is a touchy subject. I try my best to please everybody, but some people are just unpleasable.

    Last year my offline business had 3,000+ customers. Most were happy as pie, but about a handful put some really harmful things online about the business. I spent a solid week working to get those remarks removed, trying to please the customer.... I even offered double their money back. One took me up on the offer, but refused to take down their negative posts!

    What a waste of time and money. My new rule is to try my hardest to please the customer the first time around. If they are unhappy, attempt to make them happy. If that doesn't work, you must move on. Your other customers should not suffer from you being unavailable because you are spending time trying to please the unpleasable.
    Signature

    Founder of JVZoo. All around good guy :)

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2117589].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author thatgirlJ
    Originally Posted by Peter Bestel View Post


    Or maybe you take it really personally and take days to get over it?
    I have reacted this way, unfortunately I tend to put my heart into what I do. Of course, I also realize there are people out there who can't be pleased no matter what you do :rolleyes:
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2117595].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Jason Fladlien
      Jenn - you're awesome, anybody giving you grief... shame on them!
      Signature

      Co-creator of WP Twin. Perhaps the most expensive yet most reliable wordress cloning tool on the market. We've definitely been used more successfully than all other options :)

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2117626].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author thatgirlJ
        Originally Posted by Jason Fladlien View Post

        Jenn - you're awesome, anybody giving you grief... shame on them!

        Haha! There, I feel better now that I have the J-Flad stamp of approval
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2117638].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Andyhenry
    Hey Peter,

    I think I do a combination.

    I do take my business personally, so if I get attacked I do take it to heart - but it doesn't last long as I don't tend to give negative people too much of my time.

    So I take it to heart and then pretty quickly get over it and get on with things and add the person to my ignore list.

    Andy
    Signature

    nothing to see here.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2117658].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author DrewClement
    Thick skin is an absolute necessity within this business, whether you are bringing in clients and promoting your own products or simply reaching out to others for guidance or to discuss joint ventures.

    There are millions of jobs on and off line that rely on cold calling and reaching out to people that may or not be interested in what you have to say. This is especially true for affiliate networks and any affiliate managers that are in charge of reaching out to new people every day, and ensuring that they are as satisfied as possible.

    It can be disheartening to say the least, and almost next to impossible to try and ignore any personal attacks that come through. This is especially true when people (there are many out there) blame their lack of success on something that you have done.

    It is up to us as marketers to not only have a thick skin, but also to do everything in our power to defuse the situation. Especially with so many consumers whole-heartedly believing in the "customer is always right" mentality. Not only do you have to deflect personal attacks and not take it personally, you also have to climb above it and do your best to rectify the situation even if it is the client or customer that is at fault.

    Alas, its one of life's little intracies, and there will always be unsatisfied and even jaded people out there. It's human nature to attack and also to be defensive whenever you are put under the gun.

    I guess it is the people that can sit back, remain calm, and defuse disagreements that wins out in the end.
    Signature


    50% Commission, Proven Products, and MASSIVE Profits

    Drew@SellHealth.com
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2117672].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Ilya Feynberg
    Have a laugh and move on. I'll even get into fun drawn out debates every now and then if I'm in the mood to poke fun and insult someone. There is a difference between the type criticism and complaints you should be looking out for, and the ones that are only worth a laugh and perhaps a rude email back.

    I once had an individual email me letting me know that it was grossly improper of me to have a section on blog titled "Neat Sh*t" and that I shouldn't be using the word "f**k" in the way that I express myself. I enjoyed writing my response back to him
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2117704].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Ryan D
    Banned
    I don't sell IM stuff, just e-commerce goods as a background.

    Emails never upset me because reading negative feedback is easy compared to getting reemed over the phone.

    But even on the phone, I think I have a pretty good amount of empathy so I've never really had people totally lay into me. I have my staff follow the Tim Ferriss rule, and that if it costs less than $100 to fix, they can do whatever to make the customer happy. That eliminates 99% of really mad people I'll ever hear from.

    For the other 1%, if they are that upset I just refund their money so it doesn't escalate. And I don't take it personal because the stuff we sell is not something that would ruin your day. It's not like they just spent $5k for a box of magic supplements.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2117725].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author jazbo
    I usually ignore it but get quite annoyed when I get demands from people using a free version of a service I provide. So I tell them to go somewhere else, which makes me feel much better.
    Signature
    CONTENT WRITER. Reliable, UK-Based, 6 Years Experience - ANY NICHE
    Click Here For Writing Samples & Online Ordering
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2117838].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Bill Farnham
      Peter,

      I think somewhere on the scale between Rhino and Tortoise is a good start.

      Replacing the Dove soap with a bar of Lava soap is also a good way to stay prepared.

      If someone told me Andy Jenkins first started his ecommerce biz selling Suits of Armour as a way to jump start the process I wouldn't be the least surprised.

      Selling online is a bit like posting on a forum. As soon as you get one degree past some person's comprehension level things turn ugly, their brains go to mush, and the caveperson in them takes over. Same with customers.

      Try to keep them informed, don't go over their head, and they may keep their arrows quivered for the duration.

      I'm in the same boat as Ryan D and agree with his philosophy although I would bet our customer base is a lot more benign being mostly folks over 50. They have to keep their blood pressure in check so that eliminates a lot of the childish behavior one sees when selling across the entire age spectrum.

      ~Bill
      Signature
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2117941].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Robert Puddy
    Never see complaints, or have negative comments in my email

    everything goes to the support desk, where i have 2 employees deal with it

    They have the rules set out by me, and they are told to make decisions based on the guidelines and not to bother me with any of it.

    They occasionally ask for guidance on the guide lines based on a support ticket, but other than that i never have to deal with negative people.

    Robert
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2117904].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Peter Bestel
      Jenn - I know you're not alone in taking neg feedback too much to heart. I guess it's just a matter of learning how to deal with it appropriately from your own perspective and in your business's best interest, much like Andy said.

      Originally Posted by Robert Puddy View Post

      Never see complaints, or have negative comments in my email
      Robert, whilst I can see the benefits of having such a system, I might be concerned that I lose touch with some very useful feedback from disgruntled customers - aware that sometimes our best systems and ideas are born out of complaints. Do you mean to say you don't get to see ANY feedback?

      Peter
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2117953].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Robert Puddy
        Originally Posted by Peter Bestel View Post

        Jenn - I know you're not alone in taking neg feedback too much to heart. I guess it's just a matter of learning how to deal with it appropriately from your own perspective and in your business's best interest, much like Andy said.



        Bob, whilst I can see the benefits of having such a system, I might be concerned that I lose touch with some very useful feedback from disgruntled customers - aware that sometimes our best systems and ideas are born out of complaints. Do you mean to say you don't get to see ANY feedback?

        Peter
        No i mean i dont get to see all the bull****, and the crappy negativity, which can suck the life out of you if your exposed to it.

        My 2 support people coming to me with a reasonable suggestion based on there experiance in the support desk is another thing.

        This way I get the connection between my products and my customers, laid out in a practical and logical manner. And in discussion with the team we can make proper and positive improvements based on lucid discussion.

        Huge difference...

        Robert
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2117964].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author DeadGuy
          I respond to all feedback, good... bad... or ballistic. You get used to the negative stuff over time. Numb, maybe, but not totally uncaring. Since the internet is about as anonymous as things can get, people tend to vent at the extreme end of the scale. They would not dare to verbalize the venom directly to your face that they so easily send to you electronically.
          Signature

          You are making this work at home stuff way harder than it is. Ready for some sanity? Clear your head and start over.

          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2118089].message }}
          • Profile picture of the author inter123
            Sometimes receiving negative publicity is a good thing. Especially if its going to bring publicity which further down the line that may actually be helpful.

            You can't please everybody. There is always going to someone who is not pleased with the offering. The most important thing is you have confidence and belief in your product. Having lots of happy customers can help achieve that.

            In the part of the world I am, people may be reluctant to say anything in public. They dare not go to a store in the shopping mall and complain or say boo to a goose. But with the anonymity Internet brings, hidden behind a computer screen, they are more comfortable venting their anger or emotions. For some people that is a more safer option for whatever reason.

            Not just on the Internet, but to get on in life, one needs a thick skin. Without a thick coating, its very easy to down!
            {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2118144].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author swi55tony
    You just have to accept that not everyone is going to like your product or dare I say it even like you.

    It is not a case of being thick skinned, it is more just about accepting the facts and continuing on to try your best to please the people that do like you and your products.

    As already said, you can get some really useful information from the negative as well as the positive and you should see it as a benefit.

    I would be really worried if I didn't get any negative feedback once in a while. Either there is a cliff to fall off around the corner or not enough customers, either way I would be concerned.

    If you are serving the masses then just accept them as roadsigns on the highway to success
    Signature

    Tony Draper

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2117933].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author txconx
    I have learned over the years that it's a waste of time to get into it with people. I've had employees that were fired or quit that felt the need to send me diatribes about what a terrible person I am or what an awful experience they had working for the company. As someone else here said - you evaluate the judgment for any merits and move on. I would also add that you consider the source.

    I respond to almost everything, good or bad, briefly and politely: Thank you for your feedback. We will review your comments and take them into consideration.

    It doesn't invite another response from them. It doesn't disrespect their opinion and it doesn't admit to or promise anything. If they do respond with more venom, I ignore it.

    I don't take any of it personally. I don't know these people and I don't really care what they think of me. If my best friend said the same things, THEN I'd care.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2118172].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Joe Benjamin
      Originally Posted by Ilya Feynberg View Post

      Have a laugh and move on. I'll even get into fun drawn out debates every now and then if I'm in the mood to poke fun and insult someone. There is a difference between the type criticism and complaints you should be looking out for, and the ones that are only worth a laugh and perhaps a rude email back.

      I once had an individual email me letting me know that it was grossly improper of me to have a section on blog titled "Neat Sh*t" and that I shouldn't be using the word "f**k" in the way that I express myself. I enjoyed writing my response back to him
      I laughed hard at that. Ending caught me for a loop, only post
      here really worth reading (no offense). Maybe because, I would do
      the exact same thing.

      Originally Posted by txconx View Post

      I have learned over the years that it's a waste of time to get into it with people. I've had employees that were fired or quit that felt the need to send me diatribes about what a terrible person I am or what an awful experience they had working for the company. As someone else here said - you evaluate the judgment for any merits and move on. I would also add that you consider the source.

      I respond to almost everything, good or bad, briefly and politely: Thank you for your feedback. We will review your comments and take them into consideration.

      It doesn't invite another response from them. It doesn't disrespect their opinion and it doesn't admit to or promise anything. If they do respond with more venom, I ignore it.

      I don't take any of it personally. I don't know these people and I don't really care what they think of me. If my best friend said the same things, THEN I'd care.
      Great answer. I'll have to start using that one to disarm angry
      customers and at the same time, keep it professional and classy.

      For my personal answer...

      How thick-skinned do you have to be in business (general)?

      Listen.

      I reached out to JV with some people (even some
      of those on the this forum) and was turned down
      numerous times (although, strangely enough ppl
      are reaching out to me to do partnerships and JV's).

      I've had a customer who purchased a PLR pack
      and request a refund because....

      get this...it wasn't "original" (duh?).

      I've had people downright tell me they' weren't
      interested in doing business with me (online and
      offline).

      I've had people tell me I charge "too much".

      So how thick-skin must you be?

      You can't be gullible. You can't be a push-over.
      and you can NOT let others have their way with
      you, your resources, time and money. Because
      trust me, they'll try. And, they'll win if you let it
      happen.

      You can't jump on EVERY opportunity someone
      promises will make you a lot money. Yet, another
      mistake I've learned twice before I got it.

      You can't take it personally when someone "forgets"
      to pay...or someone delay's paying money an agreed
      time...or when someone promises to do something
      and never does it.

      It's business. And, in business you solve problems.

      If you can't solve your own, there's no way you
      can solve other peoples. Come to terms with this
      and you win.

      Business forces you to grow up. And in my case,
      makes me a much stronger individual.
      Signature
      **How I FLIPPED $80 into $690 Pure Profit With ONE EASY Method...2 to 3x Per Week...Only 30 Minutes Per Day (and how YOU can COPY my RESULTS, too!) **CLICK HERE FOR VERIFIED VIDEO PROOF**
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2119270].message }}

Trending Topics