Offline Client Landing Page, Your Thoughts Please

Your squeeze pae seems really simple and straight to the point, I like it. You could send them directly to an offer straight after sign up in my opinion, think that could work well, especially while there on the page. There obviously interested if they came directly to your url. Just my opinion.

I would put your phone number on there aswell, you have to remember business owners are not all "internet savy" and may just want to call you to see that you are actually real...

Thanks guys for the fast replies, great tips

Missing all 3 key elements of a marketing message:

1) No Attention-Grabbing (omg-dont-leave-this-page-because-you-need-this) Headline

2) No Offer/Incentive that will get them results NOW (i.e. free report / video training / etc.)

3) No deadline or sense of urgency (swing by next year...I'll still be here)

Add those or you really won't be happen with your results.

Oh...and perhaps some more social proof / credibility information to make them feel like you aren't some fly-by-night scammer =P

Cheers,

~Dexx

PS - Also more emphasis on the Call-to-Action to really get this FOCUS on "What to do next to get XYZ results now!"

Dexx said most of what needs to be said.

I'm afraid it will bomb in its current format.
Trouble is...you'll probably run with it for a while because you think it's ok.
That's a natural reaction...but please believe me it WILL bomb as it stands.

I've done loads of these over the years. You must put in the elements mentioned in Dexx's post.

I also agree with Dexx. You dont give me a reason to want to opt in. There's no incentive and i really dont see what/how your going to help me as a business.

Michael, unfotunately you have what is known in marketing circles as a "we, we, we" letter - also called an "I, I, I" letter.

It talks about you and what you want and how "great" you are instead of what benefits your reader will receive by contacting you.

Listen to Dexx, and stop writing about yourself.

:-Don

Edit: Figure out what problem your target audience has. What is it that keeps them up at night worrying about their business? Show how, by contacting you, their problems will get solved.

It's missing the key thing everyone wants to know - What's In It For Me?

Lee

First of all congratulations on taking the stpes you have taken.

It really takes a lot of effort to do what you have successfully achieved and I want to recognize that over and above anything else.

OK, one of the kind responders mentioned that you're transmitting on the wrong frequency, i.e. WWD FM (What We Do FM) as opposed to WII FM (What's In It For Me FM) - That's something to consider.

Also, in addition to what the other folks have stated I would like to add that you should drop any 'insider speak' you know the things that are buzz words for us marketers.

How do you recognize them?

What's an Affiliate website? Would a lay person even know what an affiliate is?
What is 'online marketing? Ditto

Then you have the others...search engine optimisation, social media marketing, rebranding, email capture management & web design.

Now you know...get going and you can do it!

Bayo

Hey Mike,
Great job in taking some action to get started!

So first question is "What are the letters going to say to try to get the Business Owners to take the time and go Online TO your landing page?"...

...and my next observation is that the info is fine but it doesn't seem focused enough to answer the W.I.I.F.M and entice a business owner to sign up. Can you focus on giving away a simple special report that just touches on the MAIN service you want to start your consulting with? Maybe its doing Google Local placement, or SEO, or going the new Mobile Market route, but if you FOCUS your letter and your "raise your hands" offer on the webpage you will hopefully see a better response. You can find a number of WSOs that give PLR to a specific type of service so you can make up a report without having to write
the bulk of the material yourself.

A guy named Calvin comes to mind on here that was doing some Offline PLRs for a $1. I've used Joshua's (View Profile: joshril) quick videos WSOs to add video to a squeeze page. You can see my example here: Local Business Profit Seminar I took Joshua's video and put it into a simple 'video template' without having to create the video myself and I think I paid like $4.95 or $9 for it from Joshua.
Make sense?

The other question is maybe just go to Office Max or Staples and get a package of those Ivory postcards that come with 4 to a sheet and have maybe like 10 sheets in them instead of letters that then have to be stuffed into envelopes and higher postage costs?

Just a thought to make it as simple as possible for the owners to respond.... hand address the info on one side and on the back side say...

"Frank, you THOUGHT you were doing fine just trying to survive didn't you..?"

Well the truth is, I've checked and as far as your Online efforts are going, your nowhere to be found and your competitors are kicking your butt!

Want to know why?

Get the special report I made for you right here for FREE for the next 48-hours ($47 value):
Marketing Consult - Providing Online Solutions For Local Businesses

Yours for Online success,
Mike"

But print it in a HANDWRITTEN FONT and on the front of the post card besides handwriting the name and address print in red a smiley face with a "Get it NOW... -->" so in case they first look at the front side they will flip it over to look at the backside and you peak their interest right away...

Hope that helps, and again great job in DOING something... don't stop, keep moving and adjust as you go Mike!

Thank you, thank you, thank you guys.

This is exactly what I wanted. Now I will get on the case right away.................as soon as I get back from work, DOH!

Again, thank you guys for your replies, going to print this off and take it to work with me and work on the splash page during the day

Mike

Great job on taking ACTION! You've got some GREAT responses here so I'll just add this...use the word 'YOU'...off-line businesses no NOTHING about ONLINE marketing mumbo jumbo. Give them what they want...YOUR CUSTOMERS ARE WAITING TO FIND YOU! (not in all caps tho) you get the idea

My off-line business has a very specific title addressing their MOST WANTED NEED and I invite them to CALL for more information. I don't have them subscribe, they just need to CALL. Unless you are giving them something of immediate value, you will be hard pressed to get them to subscribe.

Hmmmm, off-line businesses understand terminology like publishing, content distribution, NOT article marketing, directory submissions, backlinking, etc.

Great job and keep on keeping on!

Best of luck, Leah

Headlines! You shouldn't just show off the title but the catchy headline that wouldn't let them to click on the Back button.

Credentials are important and how other people (consider the big successful ones) find you that will let viewers realize WHY will they have to subscribe to your list. Strong 3-5 testimonials for instance should be added.

Plus, you should reward them for visiting your landing page so I would second with "relevant freebies" that you should be giving away. It's better if you create them yourself but it's also all right to put in products from your partners which is related to your market.

Hey Michael,

I echo parts of what some others have said.

Congrats for taking action and looking for feedback.

Your strategy is pretty weak right now and it's great that you're already looking at how to improve it.

Remove the IM thinking and the IM terms.....

Most businesses won't know what a blog is or what affiliate websites are.

You're currently focused on you and your features rather than your prospect and the benefits of your services.

As Andrew already said - the standard IM squeeze page technique is one of the worst (least effective) ways of getting new offline business customers. I'm not sure who told you to do that but I'd check whether they really are successful with offline businesses themselves. It screems IM and anyone who's been working with offline businesses for any amount of time will know that they care about their relationships and trust. Dealing with them in person or over the phone is much more effective.

The same goes for postcard marketing etc. You may get some results, but it's a shotgun approach which leaves you 'hoping' for responses.

Lastly, you may not want to hear this, but I think it would be irresponsible of me not to ask it....... If you don't know how to make a squeeze page and haven't covered marketing 101 for your own business (headline, call to action, benefits etc..) - what makes you think you're qualified to offer marketing to offline businesses?

I hope things go well for you, it would be cool to see you report back with great results.

Andy

Hi Michael

My thinking is once you're "offline" the game changes, it's not now about squeeze pages, landing pages or any other types of pages, it's about relationships.

Potential clients need to be able to physically hear you, preferably see you and hear you at the same time. You need to set up contexts where this can happen: i.e telephone calls, face to face meetings, seminars/talks etc.

Good luck on your plans.

Thanks guys for all your replies once again and taking time to reply to my thread and lending a helping hand.

Just to clear some things up, the website is not the first port of call for any customers. My first port of call will be contacting local businesses via letter and including my telephone number as my first contact option. I will be including my email address in my letters which is @marketingconsult.co.uk. Now just incase a potential client wanted to see the website behind the email address I wanted to get something quick and easy up.

I have taken everything you guys have said onboard and will be making some changes to the website before posting my letters .

Andyhenry, the reason behind me offering these services to local business is because I will gearing my services more towards SEO, email capture and website design (out sourced). I will not be trying to fob myself off as a marketing GURU .

i would talk about actual results you have acheived, numbers you have done, revenue brought in anything to make a business owners mouth water and something they can see themselves bringing in.