I told my neighbor: I will not teach you anything about IM.......

74 replies
My neighbor knows I am into IM........he asked me to teach him and I told him no.

It seems every time we talk about it, I always see cash register$ in his eyes. Also, in so many words, he's looking for the FAST way of doing things. He does not have the focus nor patience to do this.

He see's me building sites and earning income but what he does not see is all of the hours and study I put in. Heck, he's even expressed to me that he just wants to "pay someone to do it for him".

I told him outsourcing is fine but every IMer that I know who outsources( including myself) knows how to do everything that they outsource or at the very least has a good grasp on the task that is getting outsourced. I said, How can you gage the work if you don't having a understanding of the task ?

Heck they guy only wants to buy material crap with the money anyway. Materialistic people just always seem to irk me.



I just don't have the time to spend with someone that only wants to reap the rewards and has no desire to study the craft, learn SEO, site building etc......Hell, the guy does not even no what HOSTING is......



Do you think I was being to harsh?
#neighbor #teach #told
  • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
    I don't know if you were being harsh or not. It all depends on how you told him.
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    • Profile picture of the author TheNewGuy2010
      Originally Posted by Michael Oksa View Post

      I don't know if you were being harsh or not. It all depends on how you told him.

      I told him I probably would not be a good fit for you. My exact words.
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      • Profile picture of the author GerryMedia
        Maybe help him understand that making money online is not that simple? Why not show him what you do, and ask him if it's something he wants to do by himself.
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      • Profile picture of the author Sarah Russell
        Originally Posted by TheNewGuy2010 View Post

        I told him I probably would not be a good fit for you. My exact words.
        Seems reasonable enough to me. IM isn't a good fit for everyone, and the best case scenario is for people to figure this out before they spend thousands of dollars on products that won't help them.
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  • Profile picture of the author Andyhenry
    Of course you were being harsh.

    Someone wants your help, you can help them but you're not, and not only that you're ridiculing him for asking.

    Sounds harsh to me.

    I can understand why you might think like that - afterall you put all that work into learning how to do it yourself.

    But you did ask.
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    • Profile picture of the author TheNewGuy2010
      You're right I did ask........





      Originally Posted by Andyhenry View Post

      Of course you were being harsh.

      Someone wants your help, you can help them but you're not, and not only that you're ridiculing him for asking.

      Sounds harsh to me.

      I can understand why you might think like that - afterall you put all that work into learning how to do it yourself.

      But you did ask.
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      • Profile picture of the author Tyson Faulkner
        Charge him a fee.

        That way he'll take you more seriously and if he's not willing to invest in his new business then he's obviously not ready to get started.
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        • Profile picture of the author xatsmann
          Originally Posted by Tyson Faulkner View Post

          Charge him a fee.

          That way he'll take you more seriously and if he's not willing to invest in his new business then he's obviously not ready to get started.
          I agree with Tyson--charge him..if he balks then send him to the warrior forum and a free resource like Eric's Tips or the 30 Day Challenge.
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        • Profile picture of the author BrainCopy
          Originally Posted by Tyson Faulkner View Post

          Charge him a fee.

          That way he'll take you more seriously and if he's not willing to invest in his new business then he's obviously not ready to get started.
          Agreed! I would charge him as well. That way he's not thinking you're just going to "spoon feed" everything on a silver spoon. I would charge him a "consulting" fee, and plus %

          Best Regards,
          Anthony
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  • Profile picture of the author RyanT
    Originally Posted by TheNewGuy2010 View Post

    My neighbor knows I am into IM........he asked me to teach him and I told him no.

    It seems every time we talk about it, I always see cash register$ in his eyes. Also, in so many words, he's looking for the FAST way of doing things. He does not have the focus nor patience to do this.

    He see's me building sites and earning income but what he does not see is all of the hours and study I put in. Heck, he's even expressed to me that he just wants to "pay someone to do it for him".

    I told him outsourcing is fine but every IMer that I know who outsources( including myself) knows how to do everything that they outsource or at the very least has a good grasp on the task that is getting outsourced. I said, How can you gage the work if you don't having a understanding of the task ?

    Heck they guy only wants to buy material crap with the money anyway. Materialistic people just always seem to irk me.



    I just don't have the time to spend with someone that only wants to reap the rewards and has no desire to study the craft, learn SEO, site building etc......Hell, the guy does not even no what HOSTING is......



    Do you think I was being to harsh?

    I don't think you were being harsh at all.

    I actually have neighbor just like yours! It irks me as well when someone just wants to go and waste all this money on materialistic things.

    Perhaps if he were more driven and had a much better goal than "buying a big boat" or whatever I'd be more inclined to at least have a sit down with him. If someone needs to take care of their family its a more driving factor then if they just want stuff that means nothing.

    When someone asks me about it and they have been trying, and it's apparent because they do know some things just not a lot, and you can hear in their voice they are frustrated form trying and failing, these are the people I tend to talk to more.

    I also think people like that are looking for the magic button, we all know there isn't one.

    Perhaps you should encourage him to outsource his work and let him get burned and lose tons of money so he can learn IM the real way like the rest of us

    No I'm kidding that's just mean...but hey still an idea if he doesn't lay off.

    Anyway you weren't harsh at all. Why should you help him when he's just looking for a quick fix and you've spent all this time truly knowing and learning the ropes.

    You shouldn't, unless he was ambitious enough to learn the ropes as well and look at failure as a learning experience. It's been a long hard road for most of us and some of us (ME) are still on that long hard road.

    But honestly I wouldn't be anywhere without all of the failure, success, learning etc.
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    • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
      Originally Posted by Andyhenry View Post

      Of course you were being harsh.

      Someone wants your help, you can help them but you're not, and not only that you're ridiculing him for asking.

      Sounds harsh to me.

      I can understand why you might think like that - afterall you put all that work into learning how to do it yourself.

      But you did ask.
      Hi Andy,

      That was my first impression, too, that's why I asked how he told his neighbor. Based on his quote below, I think he handled it okay, and wasn't harsh.

      However, I do think he is being more harsh with this thread; for the reasons you mentioned.

      Originally Posted by TheNewGuy2010 View Post

      I told him I probably would not be a good fit for you. My exact words.
      Sounds like you handled it well.

      All the best,
      Michael
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
    A quick thought.

    I have one neighbor who works in construction, and another who is a retired school teacher. I wouldn't expect either one of them to teach me those things. Especially construction, as I know almost nothing about tools.

    If I did want to learn, I would assume they would want to see some actual evidence of my desire to learn and follow through. Furthermore, depending on the level of instruction, I wouldn't expect to get it for free.

    That being said, I would be happy if somebody I know personally would want me to teach them how to make money online.

    All the best,
    Michael
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    • Profile picture of the author TheNewGuy2010
      Internet Marketing is promoted as "EAZY MONEY", that's why people have the perception that they have about it.



      Originally Posted by Michael Oksa View Post

      A quick thought.

      I have one neighbor who works in construction, and another who is a retired school teacher. I wouldn't expect either one of them to teach me those things. Especially construction, as I know almost nothing about tools.

      If I did want to learn, I would assume they would want to see some actual evidence of my desire to learn and follow through. Furthermore, depending on the level of instruction, I wouldn't expect to get it for free.

      That being said, I would be happy if somebody I know personally would want me to teach them how to make money online.

      All the best,
      Michael
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  • Profile picture of the author Lou Diamond
    Hello,
    did you ever hear the expression two heads are better than one?
    You can learn from a newbie.
    I would at least turn him onto the warrior forum.
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    • Profile picture of the author TheNewGuy2010
      Originally Posted by Lou Diamond View Post

      Hello,
      did you ever hear the expression two heads are better than one?
      You can learn from a newbie.
      I would at least turn him onto the warrior forum.

      Not always true......
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    • Profile picture of the author Samuel Baker
      Originally Posted by Lou Diamond View Post

      Hello,
      did you ever hear the expression two heads are better than one?
      You can learn from a newbie.
      I would at least turn him onto the warrior forum.
      Would be probably one of the better options in such a situation as this.
      You can help him by recommending him to a highly useful, effective resource from which he can learn the basics and progress himself further.

      In terms of your 'Harshness scale' Nah, I don't think you were really. Would ultimately come down to the way you expressed yourself to him of course which we cannot know or tell from a forum post but the road to success is a tough one, sometimes easier for others. Maybe if you send him over to this forum he can get a foot in the door and grasp some of the work and efforts you put into your IM.
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
    Great idea, Lou!

    Send him to the Warrior Forum.

    It's free to join, and he will get a better idea of what it's all about.

    And, yes, you can always learn something from new people.

    All the best,
    Michael
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  • Profile picture of the author Barry Unruh
    Send him off to Ed Dale's Thirty Day Challenge, tell him when he finishes stepping through all of those processes, and shows you his results you will be happy to visit with him.

    He will either get the clue of what it really takes to get started, and drop out.....Or he may come knocking on your door with 1001 valid questions, excited to really learn the craft, and to help you build your business just so he can learn.
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  • Profile picture of the author slimjim2010
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    • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
      Here is what I would do if it was my friend.

      1. I'd tell him I don't have time to do this for free. He will have to pay me.
      It's business.

      2. I'd tell him he has to do it MY way. Meaning he has to do everything I
      tell him.

      3. I'd tell him that as soon as he refuses to follow my instructions for any
      reason, training stops...no discussion.

      This will tell me how serious he is so I don't waste my time or his.

      And if he tells me to F off after giving him my terms, then I know he
      wasn't serious to begin with.
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    • Profile picture of the author TheNewGuy2010
      The guy can do what he wants with his money my point is, his focus is wrong.

      I trade stock options, I don't focus on making money with Stock options( LIKE 99% of traders do, hence such a high failure rate) I focus on managing risk, adjusting "the greeks". If you learn how to manage risk and adjust the greeks, you'll WILL make money trading stock options. Do you see where my focus is?




      Originally Posted by slimjim2010 View Post

      I don't understand why you have a problem with the neighbor wanting to buy material things. Isn't the whole point of IM to earn money, isn't the whole point of having money, to spend money?

      That's just me...

      I do agree that he should be in it 100%, If he doesn't want to understand it takes loads of research/work, just tell him your to busy researching & working on your business to help him.

      If you decide to help him, like already said charge for your service/teaching If it's one-on-one.
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      • Profile picture of the author da1fitz
        Originally Posted by TheNewGuy2010 View Post

        The guy can do what he wants with his money my point is, his focus is wrong.

        I trade stock options, I don't focus on making money with Stock options( LIKE 99% of traders do, hence such a high failure rate) I focus on managing risk, adjusting "the greeks". If you learn how to manage risk and adjust the greeks, you'll WILL make money trading stock options. Do you see where my focus is?

        Is your neighbor asking you to teach him howto trade stock options or howto market a product on the internet???
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        • Profile picture of the author TheNewGuy2010
          Originally Posted by da1fitz View Post

          Is your neighbor asking you to teach him howto trade stock options or howto market a product on the internet???

          Sorry, nice try. You're not even making sense nor can you grasp concepts.
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  • Profile picture of the author Deepak Media
    If he does not have the value mindset... he will not do IM for the internet users, he will do it for himself. And he will not hesitate to follow black hat techniques. Such people only reduce the overall quality of the internet.

    Better not teach him.
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    • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
      Originally Posted by Deepak Media View Post

      If he does not have the value mindset... he will not do IM for the internet users, he will do it for himself. And he will not hesitate to follow black hat techniques. Such people only reduce the overall quality of the internet.

      Better not teach him.
      Sorry, but I don't follow any of that logic.

      That seems to be a bit of a stretch.

      Chances are he would be looking for the LAZY way, and BH would be too much work for him.

      All the best,
      Michael
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      • Profile picture of the author TheNewGuy2010
        Oh yeah, BH would be way out of his league. Way to much work and MASS confusion.




        Originally Posted by Michael Oksa View Post

        Sorry, but I don't follow any of that logic.

        That seems to be a bit of a stretch.

        Chances are he would be looking for the LAZY way, and BH would be too much work for him.

        All the best,
        Michael
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  • Profile picture of the author MassiveMarketer
    A bit harsh but I understand your point. You could start telling your neighbor that IM isn't something that you get to sit around and watch your business grow. Tell him that it needs hardwork, just like what you underwent when you started.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mo Muller
    I think Deepak's right "Better not teach him."
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  • Profile picture of the author Ernie Lo
    I dont think you were harsh at all/

    IM is NOT for most people.

    Especially those materialistic types...yeah they irk me too

    What I would of done is maybe direct him to this forum and told him to read as much as he can. Then you could atleast help him setup a blog or something.


    But you'd probably be wasting your time anyway.
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  • Profile picture of the author Shannon Herod
    I had to do something similar with one of my neighbors. He wanted to learn how to make money online.

    I told him I would help him out.

    Now, the way he wanted to make money online was to put a puppet show on YouTube.

    So, my first act of teaching was to explain that's probably not the best business model.

    But, he was absolutely set on the idea. So, I had to tell him I could not help him.

    It made him mad, but I told them I have no clue how to make money with a puppet show.

    So, if the neighbors willing to learn... why not teach him.

    If they are not willing to learn and have a closed mind, there's nothing you can do about it.

    Talk soon,

    Shannon Herod
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  • Profile picture of the author txconx
    I tell everyone who expresses an interest to go do Ed Dale's 30 Day Challenge, ask me if they have questions and then come back with the results of their work after they've completed it. Never had anybody ask questions or come back.

    The 30DC is a great place for people with absolutely no knowledge of domain names, hosting, keywords, Wordpress, etc. I'm all for helping people but if there's a free resource that will at least get them started with the basics, I'm not going to spend the time teaching them the basics. And if they don't ever come back to me with questions -- well then, I didn't waste any of MY time.
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  • Profile picture of the author fenix34
    I was in similar situation several times with my neighbors, friends. I gave them few internet marketing ebooks, the good and detailed ones not those who display IM as easy money, and told them to read them several times and then to come back if they are still interested. No one came back. If they did read and understand, or at lest did they best to understand all that is written in these ebooks, I would helped them. But if they are not able to do that, they would failed anyway.
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  • Profile picture of the author MichaelAppleton
    You see cash registers in his eyes when you talk about it?

    Well I for one am not involved in IM for the love it. I am involved simply for the money, for the freedom it can bring. How do you know he won't study once you show him the ropes and the fact it won't be an easy ride?

    Give the guy a chance, even if you just recommend him to this forum and maybe lend him a few of your IM books.

    Just my 2c.
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    • Profile picture of the author jdenc
      Some of you guys kill me. Everyone here is in it for the money. How they spend that money may differ but bottom line it's all about the benjamins as the kids say. Anyone here giving every penny away and living an ascetic lifestyle? Didn't think so. To be honest I think it's kind of hypocritical to judge someone based on wanting to make money especially when we are all members of a forum which is about what again? Oh yeah, making money.

      With that said I would probably do as suggested here. I just discovered the 30 day course mentioned and most of it is a little to basic for me but I wanted to check it out. And I would probably send any complete newb there first. If they came back with questions showing they tried then we'd work out a deal where I got paid some nominal fee for getting them started. I wouldn't just refuse out of hand because they want something which I don't value personally.
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      • Profile picture of the author TheNewGuy2010
        See above reply ^^

        Originally Posted by jdenc View Post

        Some of you guys kill me. Everyone here is in it for the money. How they spend that money may differ but bottom line it's all about the benjamins as the kids say. Anyone here giving every penny away and living an ascetic lifestyle? Didn't think so. To be honest I think it's kind of hypocritical to judge someone based on wanting to make money especially when we are all members of a forum which is about what again? Oh yeah, making money.

        With that said I would probably do as suggested here. I just discovered the 30 day course mentioned and most of it is a little to basic for me but I wanted to check it out. And I would probably send any complete newb there first. If they came back with questions showing they tried then we'd work out a deal where I got paid some nominal fee for getting them started. I wouldn't just refuse out of hand because they want something which I don't value personally.
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        • Profile picture of the author jdenc
          Originally Posted by TheNewGuy2010 View Post

          See above reply ^^
          Well here's the thing. Did you give him a chance to do the work? Did you give him an opportunity to see what it was all about by sending him somewhere he could learn? Because to be honest your OP comes off as extremely judgmental and you followed it up with more posts which seem to suggest there is a right way to be in it for the money and a wrong way. There isn't. There is only a right way and a wrong way to build a business. You can be greedy as all get out and still build a winning business.

          Sorry but the impression I got was one of "holier than thou" from your OP.
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      • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
        Originally Posted by jdenc View Post

        Everyone here is in it for the money.
        That's like saying everyone driving a car is in it for the headlights.
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        "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
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        • Profile picture of the author jdenc
          Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

          That's like saying everyone driving a car is in it for the headlights.
          Well for that analogy to carry any weight we'd have to say that money is an extremely small part of why everyone is here. I find that hard to support. I have yet to see anyone here say they are just here for the fellowship but hey it's possible. So I'll concede that a bit. How about the vast overwhelming majority approaching everyone?
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          • Profile picture of the author jdenc
            And just to be clear I don't think the OP has to do a darn thing he doesn't want to. It's his time/effort and he should spend it how he wants and upon whom he wants. I just found it pretty disingenuous for the OP and others to use money motivation as a mark against his neighbor. And that really seemed to be a big issue the way the OP was written
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            • Profile picture of the author TheNewGuy2010
              Originally Posted by jdenc View Post

              And just to be clear I don't think the OP has to do a darn thing he doesn't want to. It's his time/effort and he should spend it how he wants and upon whom he wants. I just found it pretty disingenuous for the OP and others to use money motivation as a mark against his neighbor. And that really seemed to be a big issue the way the OP was written


              Nothing wrong with being motivated by money. But at least show some interest in wanting to learn the basics not just wanting to put everything on autopilot without investing any amount of time. That's just backwards.
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            • Profile picture of the author lisaann
              Originally Posted by jdenc View Post

              And just to be clear I don't think the OP has to do a darn thing he doesn't want to. It's his time/effort and he should spend it how he wants and upon whom he wants. I just found it pretty disingenuous for the OP and others to use money motivation as a mark against his neighbor. And that really seemed to be a big issue the way the OP was written
              I'd agree with this to an extent, but part of it might have been that the neighbor just wants to make money and not have anything to offer potential clients (although the OP may not think like that, I have no idea).

              This is a business, the most successful at it treat it like one and have something to offer, trading value for money.

              This even goes for affiliate marketers and adsense earners. You have to have something of value to make long-term money.

              If I meet someone who doesn't get that I sure wouldn't waste my time helping them.

              In all honesty, part of the reason I don't post more WSO's is because of that. I know I'd make more money, but most of the people here don't get that and I don't want my legacy to be that I helped a bunch of people create more SpamSense sites

              Lisa
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          • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
            Originally Posted by jdenc View Post

            Well for that analogy to carry any weight we'd have to say that money is an extremely small part of why everyone is here.
            Extremely small? Would you drive a car with no headlights?

            The extensive "well, if X and Y and Z and and and and and" response you are preparing is the same sort of thing someone would say if you proposed they do IM without making any money.
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            "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
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            • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
              Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

              That's like saying everyone driving a car is in it for the headlights.
              Don't you mean, everyone is driving a car to get to the same specific destination?

              Some people like to drive around because they just like to drive. They don't care about arriving somewhere. They are enjoying the feel of the car, the wind blowing through the window, looking in the rear view mirror at Fido in the back with his ears flapping and tongue hanging out the window as he slobbers all over the place.

              Yes, the money is a nice side effect, but I don't do everything I do to make money. I actually like learning how to do things that I might not end up ever using for any monetary benefit.

              If it was all about making money for me, I would likely dump every product I currently promote and I'd be looking at a seriously different marketing plan right now.

              I like finding things that work, and I like sharing that information with others.

              If I happen to make some money in the process, great!

              While I agree with Kay that you don't owe your neighbor anything, I would take the time with a neighbor to have a sit down and help them figure out if this was actually something they could handle, and get them started in the right direction. I would direct them to some free resources, have them soak them up, and tell them to come back when they have had time to do some research.

              And I have recommended this forum on several occasions to get people started.
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        • Profile picture of the author Black Hat Cat
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          Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

          That's like saying everyone driving a car is in it for the headlights.
          Actually, it's nothing like that at all.
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          • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
            Originally Posted by Black Hat Cat View Post

            Actually, it's nothing like that at all.
            Sure it is.

            If there weren't any headlights, nobody would want to drive the car at all.

            But the headlights themselves aren't why you're driving. There are plenty of other ways to get light. You're driving for another reason, and while the headlights are necessary, they're not the purpose.
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            "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
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  • Profile picture of the author paulie888
    I think you gave him the balanced, realistic view of things. There are just too many people I encounter that think IM is just some magic pill that you can swallow which will literally make you rich overnight. They have no idea about the blood, sweat and tears that you have to put in at the beginning.

    I have given up trying to convince or persuade people about the reality of things (especially with these get rich quick types), because they just don't get it. No matter how much I try to emphasize the amount of learning and work that has to go in first before you can become a success, it just seems to fall on deaf ears. They seem to want the pleasure without the pain; they basically want to fast-forward through all the difficult/boring/painful stuff and arrive at the pleasure part instantly. It is my humble opinion that people who think like that are inevitably doomed to a lifetime of pain and boredom at a j.o.b.
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  • Profile picture of the author slimjim2010
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    • Profile picture of the author TheNewGuy2010
      Of course we are in it for the money. That wasn't my point. My point IS( as I explained in a earlier post # 19) that his focus should be on learning FIRST, spending SECOND.

      The learning part is what he DOES NOT want to do. He wants to spend WITHOUT putting in work. I don't have time for that.




      Originally Posted by slimjim2010 View Post

      You won't find a single person in this entire forum that isn't into IM, for the money.

      You can conjure up whatever you want others to believe, bottom line it's all about money, has been & will be...

      The guy wants a new boat?

      That new boat could be more important to your neighbor than anything else. You never know, it's possible a new boat could actually drive this guy to succeed at IM.

      You know your neighbor better than anyone on an online forum, sounds like you already have your anser from the first post?

      You could always have the guy finance your next project? Let him up the front money, then split the profit 50/50, or whatever percentage you need for your time building the project.
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      • Profile picture of the author ozduc
        Originally Posted by TheNewGuy2010 View Post

        The learning part is what he DOES NOT want to do. He wants to spend WITHOUT putting in work. I don't have time for that.
        Don't we all? Most of us are always looking for ways to work smarter not harder.
        Look at it this way, I don't think you were being too harsh but you may have done him a big favor, especially if he is the type of person that doesn't like being told he can't do something.
        You may have just inspired him enough to go out and learn and prove you wrong.
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        • Profile picture of the author TheNewGuy2010
          Originally Posted by ozduc View Post

          Don't we all? Most of us are always looking for ways to work smarter not harder.
          Look at it this way, I don't think you were being too harsh but you may have done him a big favor, especially if he is the type of person that doesn't like being told he can't do something.
          You may have just inspired him enough to go out and learn and prove you wrong.

          I clearly stated he does not want to put in work. That's not anything remotely close to "working smarter not harder". Many of us outsource but we still work hard.

          Paying someone to open Web2.0 accounts so you can focus on other things is working smarter.

          Paying someone to open up Web2.0 accounts so you don't have to learn and you have no idea what web2.0 is, is foolish.
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          • Profile picture of the author ozduc
            Originally Posted by TheNewGuy2010 View Post

            I clearly stated he does not want to put in work. That's not anything remotely close to "working smarter not harder". Many of us outsource but we still work hard.

            Paying someone to open Web2.0 accounts so you can focus on other things is working smarter.

            Paying someone to open up Web2.0 accounts so you don't have to learn and you have no idea what web2.0 is, is foolish.
            In my opinion that is a foolish way of thinking. There are many wealthy people in business who have no idea about how some of the inner minute details of their business work and have no inclination to learn, they just know they need it, so they are smart enough to surround themselves with people that do know and are willing to do that work for an hourly wage.

            Now I did agree that you weren't being too harsh on your neighbor and you owe him nothing but by limiting yourself to the above way of thinking, you are doing yourself a dis-service.

            Originally Posted by TheNewGuy2010 View Post

            He has no desire to learn and put in the time. He just wants to pay someone to do everything for him. He has stated that on more than 1 occasion.

            Don't forget "work" can be classified as supervising others and delegating tasks, that you have no interest in learning or understanding yourself. If he has the money to do that then more power to him.
            That is working smart and it is how the rich get richer!
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  • Profile picture of the author Igor Kheifets
    If I were you, I'd just charge him for teaching him IM.

    That way you're putting all the responsibility of implication him
    and get paid in the process.

    And better yet, you could offer to "do it for him" and charge him
    double or triple the price and just outsource the work..

    This is a perfect opportunity, I don't see a reason why not just jump
    on it.

    Igor
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  • Profile picture of the author gkutz1
    Your points about not wanting to help are valid but there are many different models in this business. Many people drive a car without knowing how to service it, they outsource the repairs, but they pay. At some time we all sat in front of the box saying how do we turn this thing on. If he really wants it he will get help from someone maybe just point him in the direction.
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  • Profile picture of the author slimjim2010
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      I don't agree with those who seem to think you owe your neighbor your time.

      I can't imagine anything more disruptive than having a neighbor who might be popping in at all hours to ask a question. I would not want to teach someone who lived next door. Most neighbors might not be a problem - but it would only take one to reduce the quality of your home life.

      You know your neighbor - and you know your time constraints. No one can decide for you - nor should they.

      kay
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      I'm going to work on being less condescending
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  • Profile picture of the author John Atkins
    Well you have the right to accept or refuse to teach someone.

    I don't see how refusing to teach someone is harsh.
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  • Profile picture of the author lisaann
    I can't believe anyone would tell you that you have to help your neighbor with this stuff. If he's really interested, then he can always at least start trying to figure it out on his own.

    I know most people don't want to believe it, but earning money online or any other way requires that you run a business. It's not magic, but takes hard work.

    I can guarantee you anyone who isn't motivated enough to start learning on their own won't put in the time to get anywhere.

    If he got into it then you'd probably have fun talking about it and helping him with it. Otherwise, you'd likely just be wasting your time.

    Lisa
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  • Profile picture of the author TheNewGuy2010
    For those that are saying charge him....I'll pass on that. If he does not put in the work, I don't want him knocking on my door calling me a crook because he was too lazy. I'll pass on that. No money is worth that headache.
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  • Profile picture of the author filiks
    probably you should have make him understand that making money with im is not a quick scheme as most people want to think,

    by telling him all the mountains he has to climb if he venture into it; will make you see if he has the interest to learn.

    of course there are some people that only needed to be told how thing work
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  • Profile picture of the author filiks
    why dont you sit him down to explain the basics, he might be interested to learn if you are willing to teach
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    • Profile picture of the author TheNewGuy2010
      Originally Posted by filiks View Post

      why dont you sit him down to explain the basics, he might be interested to learn if you are willing to teach

      I have stated this in several posts already. He has no desire to learn and put in the time. He just wants to pay someone to do everything for him. He has stated that on more than 1 occasion.

      It seems that's what many in this thread are not getting. HE DOES NOT WANT TO LEARN IM. He wants to pay someone to do everything for him. I said that in the OP.

      He has no desire to learn, he's looking for a grand lifestyle while he goes out and splurges.
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      • Profile picture of the author fredjr1978
        Lets say he does outsource (like many IM'ers do) and he is successful....is that a bad thing? How he spends his money... isn't that his choice?

        Originally Posted by TheNewGuy2010 View Post

        I have stated this in several posts already. He has no desire to learn and put in the time. He just wants to pay someone to do everything for him. He has stated that on more than 1 occasion.

        It seems that's what many in this thread are not getting. HE DOES NOT WANT TO LEARN IM. He wants to pay someone to do everything for him. I said that in the OP.

        He has no desire to learn, he's looking for a grand lifestyle while he goes out and splurges.
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        • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
          Originally Posted by fredjr1978 View Post

          Lets say he does outsource (like many IM'ers do)
          OP covered this already, and said quite explicitly that even when you hire someone else, you have to know what that someone else is supposed to be doing. You don't have to know how to write a good article, but you need to know what a good article looks like - and why.
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          • Profile picture of the author Amber Jalink
            Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

            OP covered this already, and said quite explicitly that even when you hire someone else, you have to know what that someone else is supposed to be doing. You don't have to know how to write a good article, but you need to know what a good article looks like - and why.
            I completely agree with this.

            For the OP: I don't think you were being harsh... (WARNING: I may say something here that may offend a few, and it's not intended... it's just fact). It comes down to:

            1) You already know he doesn't want to learn, which means he (likely) just wants you to do the work for him and wants YOU to earn his money for him.

            Been there done that. (Had people come to me for the same thing over the past 13+ years).

            2) Yes, while I agree you "can" outsource, darklock just said it perfectly - doesn't matter if you want to outsource, you need to know WHY you are outsourcing and what for.

            I think no matter who you are - if you want to make money online, you absolutely must have at least a basic understanding of the concepts and terms of the internet and internet marketing 101.

            Oh I could give you tons of examples over the years - what it comes down to, (many of you who are making money online have probably seen this whether you realize it or not) - when you start making money... and people know this, everyone becomes your friend, and everyone wants you to show them "how" (but in the instance above, don't always truly want to learn, they want you to do it for them).

            Robert Allen said at a seminar years ago, if you want to make money, become friends with successful people. From experience that is also annoying for successful people LOL, because what happens if things get a little rough? Suddenly those friends aren't really friends. (The ones that are don't care). You probably also notice more companies and solicitors suddenly finding you and trying to get your business or "partnership" one way or another. :rolleyes: (Or to try to sucker you into some investment opportunity etc).

            One of the previous posters (Michael?) talked about his neighbors being a teacher and another being a construction worker... yet being completely not what Michael does.

            A few years ago, my husband was fixing the computer network for one of the big hotels in Niagara Falls. The accounting lady kept looking over his shoulder and asked him to teach her how to just fix them for next time.

            He put it to her this way:

            Did you go to school for your accounting? (She answered yes).
            If I asked you to show me accounting, would you? (She answered, well, it's my knowledge... if I did, I wouldn't have a job.....)

            He said exactly.

            She wasn't talking about something simple anyone should learn (like how to change settings in Word), she was talking about what HE went to school for, what he paid for all his MCSE / MCDBA / MCSA etc etc certifications and courses.

            My first accountant (who is also a friend) was the same - unfortunately she was really bad for not explaining things she SHOULD have.... yet her husband wanted me to show him how to do marketing online... and I did... and all I kept getting was, "why do I have to do this?"... and "well I surfed 50 sites today, why aren't I making money yet"?

            I HAD explained it all, I HAD provided tons of materials for him... he just wanted to basically have me do it for him - till I tactfully said it wasn't for him.... and have since changed accountants. We're still very good friends - but business is business.

            And It IS enough to pull your hair out.

            So here's the simple answer:

            Your neighbor doesn't want to learn - you've already said that. Tell your neighbor you understand that they want to learn... as you said you don't think it's exactly right for him.

            BUT - offer that while he doesn't want to take all the time to learn, WHEN he IS ready to do that, you'd be happy to coach him... but as others have said - your time IS valuable and not only your time (but many might be failing to remember this), your KNOWLEDGE is valuable. You've paid for that knowledge in training (reading), testing (experience) and money (costs incurred). And therefore, you need to be paid.

            You can't do it for him. He has to want those material things bad enough to be willing to have even a basic understanding of everything so that he doesn't get shafted (by people telling him things he doesn't need), or by him coming later and saying it doesn't work (because he's throwing money at all the wrong stuff).

            I'll shut up now Sorry... I've gone through this a few times (and nearly burned myself out trying to help others who really didn't want to truly help themselves) so I completely understand LOL

            Amber
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          • Profile picture of the author TheNewGuy2010
            Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

            OP covered this already, and said quite explicitly that even when you hire someone else, you have to know what that someone else is supposed to be doing. You don't have to know how to write a good article, but you need to know what a good article looks like - and why.

            CD,

            you nailed it.
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      • Profile picture of the author Joe Benjamin
        Originally Posted by TheNewGuy2010 View Post

        I have stated this in several posts already. He has no desire to learn and put in the time. He just wants to pay someone to do everything for him. He has stated that on more than 1 occasion.

        It seems that's what many in this thread are not getting. HE DOES NOT WANT TO LEARN IM. He wants to pay someone to do everything for him. I said that in the OP.

        He has no desire to learn, he's looking for a grand lifestyle while he goes out and splurges.
        In all fairness, the OP has said numerous times that the
        context in which most of you put it, was all backwards.

        You see, the problem with forums is that if your not 100%
        clear upfront, the message your trying to put out there
        will be screwed with.

        The reason why people are still calling you a "guy who
        has something against making money", is because they're
        not reading many posts BEYOND your thread and...taking
        what you originally said and twisting it into their own
        words.

        You know...some people WANT to look like the hero and
        save the day. Stand out amongst the crowd and preach
        righteousness not realizing how wrong they are.

        Sucks you have to go through this, but it just goes to
        show that you have to cover many bases upfront before
        you make a thread or send a message.

        I knew you didn't have a problem with people wanting
        material things. Hell, I enjoy material things (and sharing
        it with others), but I also knew you were talking about
        the "process" they don't want to go through to GET the
        material things they want.

        They see it as a "lottery ticket", not an opportunity to
        run a legitamate business that will give them the lifestyle
        they want.

        When someone comes to me and say "I want to make
        money, teach me how"...9/10, they know jack about
        marketing, sales, and promotion. They've picked up fewer
        than 2 books on entrepreneurship, and they want ME
        to show them all the tricks and moves.

        I used to fall for it because I felt it did something to my
        ego (I'm honest about it), but later found it to be a waste
        of my time
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    • Profile picture of the author Black Hat Cat
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      Originally Posted by filiks View Post

      why dont you sit him down to explain the basics, he might be interested to learn if you are willing to teach
      Because he doesn't want to explain them. No other explanation is needed.
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  • Profile picture of the author Lemints
    Well, he's interested... But what is he willing to sacrifice to gain the skills? My reaction would be to send him a few links of general interest and see how far he gets by himself. Let him know that it is a pursuit he will have to make on his own, but you will be there if he needs assistance. Help him get over the hurdles but don't do the running for him.
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  • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
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    Coach him for a coaching fee. Then he won't be a big waste of your time and if he doesn't take it seriously, it's his loss, not yours.
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  • Profile picture of the author orlando cassara
    I believe you are being harsh, there are so many people that would like to get help personally from an IMer, that could show them where to start and the steps to take to being successful, not doing it for him but mentoring and teaching (for a fee of course) almost as if it were a product.
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  • Profile picture of the author fredjr1978
    7 very important words to remember: Dont Ever Forget Where You Came From

    Get the guys email and shoot him 1 or 2 ebooks that I am sure you have, that explain IM in more detail. Let him know you started by asking questions. If you dont want to deal with him, then send him here....I will help him and I am sure I am not the only one.

    I got into IM because I needed the help. If he is not made for it, he will fail. But, who are any of us to judge?

    my two cents.
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    • Profile picture of the author TheNewGuy2010
      5 very important words to read---What are you talking about?

      We all judge based on gathered information. As I have stated, he IS NOT INTERESTED in learning. What more do I need to say.

      As a matter of fact we were talking about it yesterday.

      Here is what HE said to me, that's when I told him I was not a good fit for him.

      He states: I want to get into building Adsense sites like(a well known IMer that builds successful Adsense sites).

      I said: Once you LEARN the basics of how to do things, you can do pretty much do anything online.

      He states:
      I want to LITERALLY put up CRAPPY content on sites so people will get so upset that they click on the ads just so they can get off of the site. I just want to pay someone else to do it so it can run on autopilot.

      Here's the kicker
      , he thinks because he has a marketing degree, what he speaks about is great marketing. His words, not mine.

      My eyes gazed over after that and I said I needed to get going......

      I don't know about you, but I will never spend time with anyone that wants to do things like that. He's a 29y/o man. Sorry but I am not going to spend one minute of my time trying to change his made up mind.


      I am glad I started this thread because it has helped me conclude that I was in no way being harsh. Not to mention, every time I talk to the guy he's got another "new venture" he wants to launch.


      Originally Posted by fredjr1978 View Post

      7 very important words to remember: Dont Ever Forget Where You Came From

      Get the guys email and shoot him 1 or 2 ebooks that I am sure you have, that explain IM in more detail. Let him know you started by asking questions. If you dont want to deal with him, then send him here....I will help him and I am sure I am not the only one.

      I got into IM because I needed the help. If he is not made for it, he will fail. But, who are any of us to judge?

      my two cents.
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      • Profile picture of the author Ernie Lo
        Well done! I agree with you 100% you did the right thing.

        The guy sounds like a typical clown who would be better off working a 9to5 job.

        He will just waste your time and energy and you will get so frustrated with him that you'll either give up or do all the work for him just to shut him up.

        The guy sounds like your typical sheep out there in society who wants everything done for them and fast - too fast beyond realistic measures.

        Internet Marketing is one of those things were tough love is needed - your friend must want to succeed for the right reasons - not just for money.

        Nobody can help this guy - only himself! If he ever wakes up that is.
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  • Profile picture of the author underthegun
    I say teach him. If he puts it to good use, bravo. If he waste the knowledge you've given him then it's his loss.

    or better yet (going to your his mention of paying someone)

    Do it for him. Make up an agreement, charge him a small upfront fee for your time as well as a % of the total gross or profit (10%?), and explain that he has to pay for everything else. Domain, theme, hosting, ect...

    And if you don't want to do it for him again allow him to follow you step by step.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    Missed Opportunity?


    He wants to learn from you so he has to agree to your terms. You've got a free intern sitting there. Teach him what to do, only have him do it for you. Lay it out for him. He'll be working for you for the experience for X number of weeks, then once he's taken a project for you from start to finish, help him with his own.

    You both benefit . . . if he's serious. If not, it ends the discussion.
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    Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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  • Profile picture of the author tyroneshum
    It's not wrong to refuse at all especially if you're being honest that you couldn't handle those kinds of people or be working with them. You may not literally teach your neighbor but let him realize that Internet Marketing isn't that easy at all especially when it comes to outsourcing.
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  • There's a principle I remember "do not give him fish all the time, teach him to catch fish instead". It's not harsh, you may explain nicely that success comes from hard work.
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