To All Yew Young Internet Marketeers!

39 replies
Seems to me a lot of yew fellers and gals that are new to internet marketeering come in here lookin' for advise on how to make a livin on the internet! Well, that is fine an dandy but you need to keep one thang in yore mind... not every slim jim and jane in here know where they are comin from! You git what I mean?

I have seen questions in here where they will be gettin five or sex different answers to the same dadgum question. Ain't no wonder a lot of folks is all twitterpated in here. Yew need to be takin every dadgum thang with a grain of salt. Do not be jumpin from one thang to another based on some folks cogitatin! Do what them folks do who are bloomin like wildflowers and havin fecal results... test it and stay with it until yew be knowin that it do not work. I can give you my hallowed word on one thang... nothin is gonna work if you do not stay with it fer long!

Did that go confusin yew? Tell yew what, let me give yew a real livin and breathin sample of what I am talkin about, okay?

Our high school here sits upon a hill (that is why we call it a high school) an we have a mity fine football coach. Coach Cletus has been with our team fer nigh on to a coons age. That there feller is smarterin a whip an he knows how to make the grade with them guys an gals on the football team. It shore is a shame but the fact is, not a lot of them guys and gals on the team could "make the grade" even if they tried! I am shore not makin fun of them or nuthin but if their brain was ink, most of them could not dot an "i".

Well, the superintendent, the school board, the parent teachers group and the Parents Of Other Parents In Education came to a like-minded, all of one mind decision. (Well, to be honest, that were not hard to do since Coach Cletus is the only member of all them groups) He decided that the quarterback of the football team was not doin' her part to become learned in the fine art of math so he told her that the only way she was goin to play on Wednesday night was if she could answer a math question. Well, Coach Cletus did not be wantin to make it too difficult for her because she was the star of the team. In fact, she was the quarterback, the tight end and the linebacker of the 8 folk team so they could not do without her.

Well, Coach Cletus gathered them all in one fell swoop and told them what Claritalynn had to do to play in the big game on Thursday night. They was all real nervous like because they needed her real bad; just like Kevin Riley needs to quit wearin them mankinis! Anyhow, he set her down on a stool in the middle of the room but she were not happy sittin in dookie so he had her stand in the middle of the group. The tension in that room was as thick as Ken Leatherman's skull (well, probably not THAT thick but purt near as close). Coach Cletus looked her right in her eyeball and asked, "Claritalynn, how much is two and two?"

That there room went deathly quiet! They KNEW they was needin her in Friday night's big game. Yew could have heared a bumble bee fart! Claritalynn sat there ponderin the answer cause she knowed she would have only one change to git it right. So, after an hour or two, she looked Coach Cletus right in his left eyeball (Coach only had one, you know) and she answered, "FOUR!" Every guy and gal in that room jumped up from their seats!!! That room erupted in screams and hollers!!! In one voice they all said, "Come on Coach Cletus... give her another chance!"

That there story is about as clear as Shania Twain is purty! NOW, do yew git where I am comin from?

Yew all take care now and the Ole Hillbilly sends out a great big, smoochy, tabacky swapin, close enough to see boogers, kiss to each and ever one a yew folk!
#internet #marketeers #yew #young
  • Profile picture of the author Diana Lane
    Poor Claritalynn. What a tragic example of ill-educated youth. It's encouraging to see that the others knew that two plus two is twenty-two though - even my maths teacher wasn't as bright as they are
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  • Profile picture of the author Mohammad Afaq
    Dang, wish I could read that kind of English

    I seriously couldn't read the post
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    • Profile picture of the author GuerrillaIM
      Originally Posted by Mohammad Afaq View Post

      Dang, wish I could read that kind of English

      I seriously couldn't read the post

      Same here. I think having a "thing" that makes you different and stand out is good, but to keep up the tone for a whole post is pretty unreadable.
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      • Originally Posted by GuerrillaIM View Post

        Same here. I think having a "thing" that makes you different and stand out is good, but to keep up the tone for a whole post is pretty unreadable.
        Indubitably, there comes a time in the existence of every person, where such person must come to the conclusion that the percipience of ones peers is completely relevant to the propriety of ones vernacular when elucidating in such a prestigious colloquium as the Warrior Forum. Accordingly, I shall endeavor to ameliorate my articulation with more congruous credibility!

        Thar now, does that put a little bit a step back in yore giddyup?
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        Thaddaeus T. Hogg, The Hillbilly Marketeer
        http://www.hillbillymarketer.com
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        • Originally Posted by Hillbilly Marketer View Post

          Indubitably, there comes a time in the existence of every person, where such person must come to the conclusion that the percipience of ones peers is completely relevant to the propriety of ones vernacular when elucidating in such a prestigious colloquium as the Warrior Forum. Accordingly, I shall endeavor to ameliorate my articulation with more congruous credibility!

          Thar now, does that put a little bit a step back in yore giddyup?
          See, the main thang is that I have been educated beyond my intelligence!!!
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          Thaddaeus T. Hogg, The Hillbilly Marketeer
          http://www.hillbillymarketer.com
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  • Profile picture of the author Maddi
    Kevin Riley in a mankini? Hilarious!!
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  • I'm sure some other sick sadistic ******* will though.
    Yew was rite on the money with that one there Big John!

    I think I know who the Hillbilly is.

    One of the first guys I talked to here years ago? right?
    Shore nuff! The ole hillbilly been hangin round these here parts for a long time now. I wus beginnin to thank yew was made at me!

    Thom, dadburnit boy, yew shore do know how to mess up a pulletizer prize winnin photo don't yew boy?
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    Thaddaeus T. Hogg, The Hillbilly Marketeer
    http://www.hillbillymarketer.com
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  • Profile picture of the author John Rogers
    Jeez. Correction....

    Sick sadistic hairless *******.
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  • You do not miss it.
    We need your support and trust!!!
    free shipping
    %uFF08Jordan wholesale)
    Dear customers, thank you for your support of our

    company.
    Here, there's good news to tell you: The company

    recently
    launched a number of new fashion items! !

    Fashionable
    and welcome everyone to come buy.

    (Jordan wholesale)
    Yushaojun, yew shore nuff picked the wrong thread to be jumpin into. Out here in the holler, we like our pigs but we shore do not be a takin to no spam!

    Yew startin to sound like one a them reveneurs and we shore do not take kindly to them folks like that. I will tell you what Mr. Ojun, they be sayin a person will not be leavin Harlan alive but the holler makes Harlan look like Disneyland!

    We do not get riled up much here in the holler son but yew IS shore startin to rile me up rite good! I am thankin yew better be a movin to Harlan an be a gettin out of the holler RIGHT NOW!!!

    Oh, by the by... yew be a havin yoreself a mity fine day down there in Harlan, yew hear?
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    Thaddaeus T. Hogg, The Hillbilly Marketeer
    http://www.hillbillymarketer.com
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Hey Thadius - where ya been hiding, guy? You still living in that fine home of yours that IM provided for you? I figured you'd be pulling it around the country but sounds like you might have stayed right where you were. Fame just doesn't change some people.

    Um Thomas........thanks for dragging that pic back up from the dregs of hell. I was getting a tad to sleepy to do any more work on this project tonight, but now I am sure I can work for another several days without daring to close my eyes.
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    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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    • Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      Hey Thadius - where ya been hiding, guy? You still living in that fine home of yours that IM provided for you? I figured you'd be pulling it around the country but sounds like you might have stayed right where you were. Fame just doesn't change some people.
      Why Ms. Sal, I am doing good still! I sell a little ever now and again but I keep most of it for myself! Yew just can not get this quality of 'shine anywhere.

      As far as the internet marketeering goes, shewt, I am already over $6 each and ever month in adsense. At this rate, the ole hillbilly will be able to retire in no time and believe me, that dadgum truck needs some new tires.

      How in tarnation is that rock huntin goin? I might recommend ZZ Top cause they is my very favoritest. They tend to hold the tabacky together much better too!

      Yew all take care now yew hear?
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      Thaddaeus T. Hogg, The Hillbilly Marketeer
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  • Profile picture of the author lovingPeace
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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  • Profile picture of the author J Bold
    Please make it stop. Make it stop!

    Seriously, this is the weirdest character, or should I say caricature, I have seen on this forum.

    While it seems funny and silly it's mainly for entertainment, I think. Is there good stuff in what hillbilly says? Darn well may be. But I can't be bothered to wade through the language to figure out what it is...
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    • Profile picture of the author ExRat
      Hi redicelander,

      Is there good stuff in what hillbilly says? Darn well may be. But I can't be bothered to wade through the language to figure out what it is...
      I think he's actually toned it down a bit, recently. Even I can make sense of some of it now.

      Yew all take care now and the Ole Hillbilly sends out a great big, smoochy, tabacky swapin, close enough to see boogers, kiss to each and ever one a yew folk!
      ...although, sometimes I wish I didn't understand it anymore!
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      Roger Davis

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    • Originally Posted by redicelander View Post

      Is there good stuff in what hillbilly says?
      Does Paul Myers tell it like it is? Does Steven Waggenheim have a hankerin to make posts? Does Allen Says have a thang for cigars? Does Kevin Riley have a perverted side? Does Thomas Belknap, Kenneth Strong and John Schwartz (zeus66) all blind yew when yew go out into the sun?
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      Thaddaeus T. Hogg, The Hillbilly Marketeer
      http://www.hillbillymarketer.com
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    • Profile picture of the author Chris W. Sutton
      Originally Posted by redicelander View Post

      Please make it stop. Make it stop!

      Seriously, this is the weirdest character, or should I say caricature, I have seen on this forum.

      While it seems funny and silly it's mainly for entertainment, I think. Is there good stuff in what hillbilly says? Darn well may be. But I can't be bothered to wade through the language to figure out what it is...
      Very true BUT don't overlook the message behind the madness because there is always one there!
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  • Profile picture of the author petevamp
    Man I think I read the first paragraph of this trend and said that was enough.
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  • Profile picture of the author Maddi
    Something Urges me to put this Kevin Riley photo as my avatar here....
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  • Profile picture of the author George Wright
    Mr. Hogg,

    It's always great to see you here. I can't understand why some are saying they don't understand you and your post is difficult to get through.

    I thought everyone here spoke the kings englush. Dang, guess I'm not Wright after all.

    George Wrong
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    "The first chapter sells the book; the last chapter sells the next book." Mickey Spillane
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    • Profile picture of the author enochfung
      I thought it was clever. May I re-post it on my blog as encouragement to others? Not sure what the forum rules are concerning republication...
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      • Originally Posted by enochfung View Post

        I thought it was clever. May I re-post it on my blog as encouragement to others? Not sure what the forum rules are concerning republication...
        Why shore yew can use the ole hillbillys ramblins on yore blog! I would be right honored. If yore readers want some signed pictures, I can shore oblige. I have some photos of me and Homer Thadpucker runnin nekid through the back forty chasin butterflys and smilin and grinnin!

        Yew may want to run a contest to see who gets them thangs cause they are in limited supply. Wimmin all over the world been askin and beggin for a picture of the ole hillbilly and I am in short supply at the moment... of wimmin, not pictures!
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        Thaddaeus T. Hogg, The Hillbilly Marketeer
        http://www.hillbillymarketer.com
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        • Profile picture of the author enochfung
          Originally Posted by Hillbilly Marketer View Post

          Why shore yew can use the ole hillbillys ramblins on yore blog! I would be right honored. If yore readers want some signed pictures, I can shore oblige. I have some photos of me and Homer Thadpucker runnin nekid through the back forty chasin butterflys and smilin and grinnin!

          Yew may want to run a contest to see who gets them thangs cause they are in limited supply. Wimmin all over the world been askin and beggin for a picture of the ole hillbilly and I am in short supply at the moment... of wimmin, not pictures!
          lol thanks but I think I'll pass re: the signed nekkid photos.
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  • Profile picture of the author entrepreneurjay
    Oh my god its a talking dictionary. Talk about sounding smart lol now if only people could comprehend that lol.

    An intellectual conversation at its best!
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Blaze
    I really really really can't understand a single sentence in that article! Anyone care to translate into something easier

    Bullet points will do ha ha

    Mark Blaze
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    • Profile picture of the author enochfung
      Originally Posted by Mark Blaze View Post

      I really really really can't understand a single sentence in that article! Anyone care to translate into something easier

      Bullet points will do ha ha

      Mark Blaze
      He's telling people who come in here asking for advice on how to start IM to take everything with a grain of salt because not everyone knows what they're talking about. Ultimately, like Claritalynn, you have to take the plunge and do it yourself to really know if you've gotten it right or not. In other words, use common sense and actually act on what you learned.
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      • Originally Posted by enochfung View Post

        He's telling people who come in here asking for advice on how to start IM to take everything with a grain of salt because not everyone knows what they're talking about. Ultimately, like Claritalynn, you have to take the plunge and do it yourself to really know if you've gotten it right or not. In other words, use common sense and actually act on what you learned.
        Tarnation! I shore do not know why folks can not understand what I am sayin! It is plainer than a wart on a witches nose!!!

        I am guessin that I need to hire you as a translator since you are one of the few folk in here who speak good English!
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        Thaddaeus T. Hogg, The Hillbilly Marketeer
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