Guys I feel Intimidated

29 replies
Hey guys, I am currently planning to start a blog on dating advice, since it is one of my favorite topics and I have invested countless hours of study to educate myself.

But the thing is When i look at other dating blogs I feel as if I have nothing better to offer in comparison to those established blogs.

I have heard famous bloggers like Yaro saying don't get yourself involved in a niche If you can't offer info in a new way.

Now I don't understand why should I offer info in a new way when I know something which works.

Is this niche overly populated? ( I know I am over-thinking this stuff but it would be really nice to see some experienced warriors in this discussion)
#feel #guys #intimidated
  • Profile picture of the author Orator
    I have heard famous bloggers like Yaro saying don't get yourself involved in a niche If you can't offer info in a new way.
    That sounds like a good way to thin the competition.

    If you have good solid information, and can present it in a way that people can understand. Then by all means do it, and profit from it.

    If being innovative was the sole reason for getting involved in a niche, then it would wipe out about 75% of IM products. Most of them are just a rehash of other stuff already in print.

    Build a solid blog with good information, and then worry about how to be innovative.
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  • Profile picture of the author Rich Struck
    Instead of just dating, try narrowing it a bit.

    Dating for fat people.
    Dating for people with some disease or condition.
    Dating for people in a certain city or state.
    Dating for people who ride motorcycles.

    And on and on and on.
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    • Profile picture of the author Anoopchawla
      Originally Posted by Rich Struck View Post

      Instead of just dating, try narrowing it a bit.

      Dating for fat people.
      Dating for people with some disease or condition.
      Dating for people in a certain city or state.
      Dating for people who ride motorcycles.

      And on and on and on.
      I definitely understand the concept of narrowing my niche, but the things is blog is something I have to keep coming with content everyday. If I narrow its focus very much, i think it will affect my ability to write fresh content about it.

      For how many years you can write dating advice for fat people?

      May be I can start a blog about just inner game of picking up girls, or just approaching girls.
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      • Profile picture of the author Fred_Acker
        Don't forget... You can start narrow (recommended) and broaden as you build by linking article to article. For instance:

        dating_for_nerds links to dating_for_geeks links to dating_for_Im'ers

        Even though it looks like it's all the same you can come up with new content for each keyword.

        This will not only keep you busy writing but it will also help with seo if you keep the articles linked within the same categories.
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      • Profile picture of the author DABK
        You're thinking fat people. Try fat
        catholic men looking
        fat bi men looking
        fat bi, Catholic men looking
        fat Catholic divorced men looking
        fat catholic men with STD looking

        People pay to see remakes of movies. The remakes speak to people differently.

        fat men looking for casual
        fat men looking for marriage
        fat college educated men looking
        fat college men and online dating sites
        fat college educated men and online dating sites
        fat college...

        If you give them a chance to describe their worst or best experience (a contest), they'll give you fodder for your article making machine for years.

        Besides, in a couple of years you will be different, look at things differently.

        You could also, just have them send you questions and you respond, the best you post on your blog.

        Originally Posted by Anoopchawla View Post

        I definitely understand the concept of narrowing my niche, but the things is blog is something I have to keep coming with content everyday. If I narrow its focus very much, i think it will affect my ability to write fresh content about it.

        For how many years you can write dating advice for fat people?

        May be I can start a blog about just inner game of picking up girls, or just approaching girls.
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  • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
    Originally Posted by Anoopchawla View Post

    But the thing is When i look at other dating blogs I feel as if I have nothing better to offer in comparison to those established blogs.
    Your story is nobody else's.

    Your voice is nobody else's.

    Nobody else can tell your story in your voice.

    If you have a good story, and a good voice, and you know it - you have something nobody else has. You don't have to try to tell it a different way. Just tell your story in your voice. Nobody else can do that. You can't help but be different.
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    • Profile picture of the author Anoopchawla
      Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

      Your story is nobody else's.

      Your voice is nobody else's.

      Nobody else can tell your story in your voice.

      If you have a good story, and a good voice, and you know it - you have something nobody else has. You don't have to try to tell it a different way. Just tell your story in your voice. Nobody else can do that. You can't help but be different.
      Thanx Man. Never thought it that way.
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    • Profile picture of the author Mark Hess
      Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

      Your story is nobody else's.

      Your voice is nobody else's.

      Nobody else can tell your story in your voice.

      If you have a good story, and a good voice, and you know it - you have something nobody else has. You don't have to try to tell it a different way. Just tell your story in your voice. Nobody else can do that. You can't help but be different.
      Great advice... the personal angle is great and like it or not, will make your blog unique. This angle has a way of naturally building trust with your readers...

      Off the top of my head, here are some other tips for breaking into the blogging scene...

      1) Build a list from day 1 by placing an optin box in the sidebar. This will keep readers coming back to either click on more ads or buy more products. Every time the same person comes back, you are building more of a relationship with them. People who keep coming back are also more likely to share your content with others through social networking sites such as Facebook or Twitter.

      2) Leverage the power of other blogs in your niche using trackbacks. Say a popular blogger makes a post on their blog, you can give your opinion of the post on your own blog and a link may be displayed on their blog which can get you some additional traffic. This is also good for building relationships with other bloggers and provides an additional peice of content for your own blog.

      3) Comment on other blogs in your niche. The best time to do this is when the blog post is "fresh". Many times bloggers will promote their posts right after publishing them. They send out tweets, post on facebook, it goes out to RSS subscribers and their list. Get in early and be one of the first to comment by using Google "real time" search: TechSmith | Screencast.com, online video sharing, 2010-06-30_0319

      4) You can conduct interviews with authors, there's tons of books on dating and most authors love the publicity. There maybe even a chance of the author spreading the word about the interview getting your blog additional traffic.

      5) Linkbait - write a stupid or funny list like "the 10 most inappropriate things you can say to a women on your first date" social bookmark these and post them on social networking sites. Chances are they will get passed around.

      6) YouTube- turn all your posts into videos. YouTube gets a MASSIVE amount of traffic. Make some videos talking about the same thing as you did in the blog post.

      Ok, I'm getting tired... you get the idea. Come up with some creative s***. Never be afraid to break into a niche. There is no such thing as to much competition because you always have something unique to offer (yourself). Don't let fear of failure (or success) stop you.
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    • Profile picture of the author thebitbotdotcom
      Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

      Your story is nobody else's.

      Your voice is nobody else's.

      Nobody else can tell your story in your voice.

      If you have a good story, and a good voice, and you know it - you have something nobody else has. You don't have to try to tell it a different way. Just tell your story in your voice. Nobody else can do that. You can't help but be different.
      Very well stated CDarkLock. I am always inspired by your posts. I believe that it is true that someone may hear an account told a certain way and not understand it, but if they hear your version from your voice, it all of the sudden clicks. That is why everyone's viewpoint is important.

      Just remember to do your keyword and competition research.
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    • Profile picture of the author JustinDupre
      Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

      Your story is nobody else's.

      Your voice is nobody else's.

      Nobody else can tell your story in your voice.

      If you have a good story, and a good voice, and you know it - you have something nobody else has. You don't have to try to tell it a different way. Just tell your story in your voice. Nobody else can do that. You can't help but be different.
      This is superb! You should believe in yourself.. narrow down your tips and give it a go already.
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    • Profile picture of the author NicoleBeckett
      Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

      Your story is nobody else's.

      Your voice is nobody else's.

      Nobody else can tell your story in your voice.

      If you have a good story, and a good voice, and you know it - you have something nobody else has. You don't have to try to tell it a different way. Just tell your story in your voice. Nobody else can do that. You can't help but be different.

      Well said! If you're a great writer, people will read your blog because of that. Do you have personal experiences that would add to the blog? Include them! Don't be afraid to be funny or speak from the heart. People may be way more interested in your style than the "newest ideas" in dating tips.

      Don't be afraid to go into this niche. After all, there's competition in every niche. If this is what you want, go for it!
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    • Profile picture of the author mcmahanusa
      Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

      Your story is nobody else's.

      Your voice is nobody else's.

      Nobody else can tell your story in your voice.

      If you have a good story, and a good voice, and you know it - you have something nobody else has. You don't have to try to tell it a different way. Just tell your story in your voice. Nobody else can do that. You can't help but be different.
      Darklock is on target! For example, I could write about "dating if you're old and cranky". After all, there are a lot of old, cranky people out there.
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    • Profile picture of the author Daniel Deegan
      Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

      Your story is nobody else's.

      Your voice is nobody else's.

      Nobody else can tell your story in your voice.

      If you have a good story, and a good voice, and you know it - you have something nobody else has. You don't have to try to tell it a different way. Just tell your story in your voice. Nobody else can do that. You can't help but be different.
      Great advice from CD right here...

      To build upon what CD said...(credit to Dave Navarro for this one)

      Say you see your self as a level 5 or 6 on scale of 1 to 10 when it comes to your knowledge on a topic or niche. You, might say to your self "damn look at all these other guys who seem to know more then me"..."how can I compete with these guys who are like a level 10 if I'm only a 6?"

      We'll to the people interested in your topic who are between levels 1-5 on the knowledge scale you are a freaking jedi master guru on the subject. You can teach these folks a lot of useful things.

      To them the level 10 guy is way to advance and over there head. Heck he might be confusing them because hes coming from such a high level...

      Now combine what I just wrote and add your own uniqueness and personality to the mix. Now you've got even more to offer.

      Also you can really set your self apart from other people in your niche by simply being a better communicator. Be more clear, more interesting, add some humor, etc.

      You can do it man...so can everyone else. We all have plenty to offer, but many of us are blind to our own value and worth because we are to busy comparing ourselves to others...

      Much love,
      Daniel D.
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      • Profile picture of the author Anoopchawla
        Originally Posted by Daniel Deegan View Post

        Great advice from CD right here...

        To build upon what CD said...(credit to Dave Navarro for this one)

        Say you see your self as a level 5 or 6 on scale of 1 to 10 when it comes to your knowledge on a topic or niche. You, might say to your self "damn look at all these other guys who seem to know more then me"..."how can I compete with these guys who are like a level 10 if I'm only a 6?"

        We'll to the people interested in your topic who are between levels 1-5 on the knowledge scale you are a freaking jedi master guru on the subject. You can teach these folks a lot of useful things.

        To them the level 10 guy is way to advance and over there head. Heck he might be confusing them because hes coming from such a high level...

        Now combine what I just wrote and add your own uniqueness and personality to the mix. Now you've got even more to offer.

        Also you can really set your self apart from other people in your niche by simply being a better communicator. Be more clear, more interesting, add some humor, etc.

        You can do it man...so can everyone else. We all have plenty to offer, but many of us are blind to our own value and worth because we are to busy comparing ourselves to others...

        Much love,
        Daniel D.
        Great advice bro, What a great thought. I can't believe how much talented warriors we have in this forum.

        Thanx everybody I really appreciate your valuable advice.
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  • Profile picture of the author jazbo
    There are thousands of sites on any one topic, the net is massive, so there is always a potential stream of visitors available, regardless of how "original" your angle on a subject.
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  • Profile picture of the author chandan_dutta
    Agree with Rich Struck. You can narrow down since dating has lot of competition. Of course you can beat competition but it will take more time and more efforts. Instead of you target a specific niche, you will be able to make more in less work.
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  • Profile picture of the author alniches
    I think I learn something from the Guerilla Marketing Handbook which might help you with this...it talks about repositioning your competitors.... and it spoke of something like kinda graph that helps you plot and see how to search for sub-niches within the same niche and position yourself there...It's kinda long so I don't think I can explain it in depth here...
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  • Profile picture of the author Andyhenry
    Caliban, Mark and Rich said what I was going to.

    Stop worrying about who else is in your niche or whether information already exists.

    All that matters is that there are people that need help and you have something valuable to offer.

    As long as it's your own work then it is unique.

    When I'm interested in something I buy lots of books on the subject - the same subject but by different authors. Usually they're saying pretty much the same thing but sometimes one of them says it in a slightly different way that resonates with me and I get more value because of that.

    If you have good information - don't be afraid of sharing it.

    As for running out of ideas - I think you're making a problem for yourself there - there are ALWAYS new things you can say.

    In your example - dating for fat people:

    You can just diversify:

    Dating for fat 'teenagers'
    "" women
    "" men
    "" couples
    "" lesbians
    "" gay men
    "" truckers
    "" home workers
    "" Christians
    "" Mormans
    "" Goths
    "" Emo's
    "" Rockers
    "" Musicians

    Flirting for fat ...........

    Grooming tips for fat .......

    Dieting for fat "xxxxxx"

    Exercising for fat "xxxxxx"

    Then there's information, audio, video etc......

    You get the idea. You can make this stuff up forever.
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    nothing to see here.

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  • Profile picture of the author Yaro
    Hi Anoopchawla, Yaro here.

    You've been given some great advice already here from other people, so I won't add much more.

    If you've educated yourself and you feel you have something to teach, that's great. Your next step is to define your market and what specific problem you will solve.

    It's not "what" you teach that will differentiate you from other people serving the dating market, it's how you phrase your offer and present your marketing, that will frame your position in the marketplace as someone unique. You can then teach what you know.

    I strongly recommend you come up with a "system" and a specific target audience to your system will help the most. You just need to use some clever "language identifiers" (look that up on my blog) and you can easily present yourself as an expert and capture a market, even if it appears crowded.

    Differentiation is in marketing, so don't get too caught up in what it is you know or teach, it's how you sell it.
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  • Profile picture of the author excoder01
    Whoa -- Anoop's idol just showed up in his thread!

    Amazing -- great tips Yaro!
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  • Profile picture of the author Bill Corners
    What's the goal of blog? If it's to make money, you could add Amazon products, they have 100's of books on dating.

    I use wprobot to add Amazon products automatically with my affiliate link. It works really well.

    The plugin also lets you add articles and yahoo answers too. It does cost some money to get it, but I think it's worth it.
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  • Profile picture of the author mattalways
    I've heard many times that you won't be successful if you're doing the same thing as other people. That may be true at some level, but I think there is always room if you can think of a different angle. Maybe you can be mean about it or something lol.
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    • Profile picture of the author Colin Theriot
      Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

      Your story is nobody else's.

      Your voice is nobody else's.

      Nobody else can tell your story in your voice.

      If you have a good story, and a good voice, and you know it - you have something nobody else has. You don't have to try to tell it a different way. Just tell your story in your voice. Nobody else can do that. You can't help but be different.
      I will add, the easiest way to make this come out and go on display is to create content that will connect that unique person you are to the unique person THEY are. The fastest way I know to do this is to go into their niche, go where they congregate - collect all the questions (and answers to those) that they are asking.

      Then answer them in your own style on your own blog. Then just keep participating wherever it is you found those questions, and when people ask, bump them back to your blog.

      For example, Yaro did it like 2 or 3 posts above. Did you catch it?

      So that unique voice, applied to solving the problems that niche has and answering their burning questions, supplied on a site with a TON MORE answers... that's a recipe for success.

      Hope that helps!
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  • Profile picture of the author EthanDenney
    I agree with Andy and Darklock, it's all about positioning.

    Just position yourself in a different way than your competitors, maybe by narrowing your niche down and or by creating a compelling story people relate too.
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  • Profile picture of the author Warrior Dude
    You don't need to know more than the other blogs in your niche, you just need to know more than the people you are trying to help. And the truth is most reading your blog will know nothing and will look up to you as an expert with even common knowledge tips.

    Besides, after you start it up, you will get emails thanking you for your great info you gave them.
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  • Profile picture of the author Colin Theriot
    I posted this in a different thread about what role an affiliate should play in their niche, and I found myself trying to basically re-word the whole thing here - rather than do that, I'll just quote it in here:


    Originally Posted by Colin Theriot View Post

    Outside of just reviewing and reporting, I think an effective long-term affiliate needs to take on a more "meta" role as well. You need to have a persona, and that persona kind of defines your approach as a figure in the market.

    I initially come up with this analogy.

    I used to think of it as the prospects being sheep, and the affiliate who becomes a "guru" figure in the niche as being either a wolf or a shepherd.

    The wolf is about getting the most money now, and really doesn't care what happens to the sheep in the process.

    The shepherd instead feeds and takes care of the sheep, and they let him make a living off wool and lanolin or whatever.

    The wolf's always gotta chase new sheep. The shepherd can make the same living off a small and more stable flock.

    In IM, the "white hat" guys tend to be shepherds, while the "black hat" guys tend to be wolves. The wolves need the fast, massive, easy route because they have to stay fed.

    The shepherds can take the long view, because that's the whole reason they're in the game. Now, I USED to only see those two roles, but I think there is a third that's been neglected.

    I say neglected because there are people who are naturally a wolf or a shepherd, but there are also people SMART enough to know that each personality actually APPEALS to a different kind of audience.

    Believe it or not, there are SOME sheep that WANT to be eaten. But I digress - I was saying there are some marketers smart enough to fulfill BOTH roles to get as much from as many different kinds of sheep there are.

    So people actively play those roles on purpose. However, I've never seen this THIRD role done on purpose.

    There's a kind of sheep called the Bellwether. That's because he's a wether (a castrated male sheep) that's wearing a bell. You ever notice in a flock of sheep, there's only one wearing a bell?

    That's because that sheep is the "leader" of the sheep. The reason you need to keep a bell on him is because the SHEEP follow him as the leader, but he doesn't know he's the leader. He's not out in front of the flock. In fact, he's often in the middle.

    See, the sheep all default to wanting to do what the sheep next to it is doing until it gets bored and does something on its own. The "bellwether" is essentially the sheep that gets bored the FASTEST, so it moves.

    Then the sheep next to it want to move too, so they move. And then the sheep next to them move, and so on. It seems like the flock moves in a freaky, unpredictable way until you mark the Bellwether, and then you can just listen for the bell.

    The bell is ringing where the flock is GOING to move. But it's not because he leads them there, and they don't follow - it's just a domino effect. He does his own thing, and they all seemingly spontaneously decide to ALSO do the same thing. Not because he is doing it. But because the sheep beside them is doing it.

    Now, this particular role, the Bellwether - is being played right now NATURALLY by some super affiliates. I don't even think they realize it - hence probably WHY they work as a bellwether. Some of them aren't even paid affiliates, but they CREATE and DICTATE the success of launches just by being visible online about what THEY do.

    It triggers a chain reaction, and people follow them, then people follow them, then a trend explodes. PPC is the hot new thing. No, list building is. No, it's offline gold. (Those are just illustrative examples of how trends change, not specific Bellwether examples.)

    As far as I know, no one has tried to become a Bellwether ON PURPOSE, because it SEEMS like you have to be a natural - it SEEMS like you have to be lucky to fall into the role.

    But I don't think that's true. I think you CAN SECRETLY be a Bellwether in a niche ON PURPOSE, and set yourself up to be a trendsetter who profits not by promotion, but simply by taking a visible action, which when your followers imitate it, you profit.

    As an affiliate, this seems very easy to me, because you "promote" by BUYING the stuff you sell and using it. You sell courses by TAKING THEM and PARTICIPATING in them with your "customers". It's not "you should buy this thing to be successful like me" it's - hey, let's buy this thing and do it together, so we can be successful like them.

    Anyways, that's the Bellwether model, it's kinda something I'm working on - I call copyright dibs and all that. But I hope it's useful so far as giving you 3 affiliate roles I know of and that 2 of which I've used to sell honking buttloads of stuff.

    I'm working on the 3rd. It's tricky, but I bet it's doable.
    The relevance of that is that I think if you are intimidated by other players in your market, the Bellwether approach is a really good one to take because you can be at any level of expertise in any niche - essentially just a newbie with a published opinion. Even that is a profitable position.

    We are not all *that* unique, and in each of us are many aspects that people can see in themselves. It's those qualities that allow people to connect with us and make our stories have a vicarious quality that they come to crave.

    You don't have to be a guru or alpha-prime figure to lead. You just have to be visible, visibly similar to your target market, and visibly moving in the direction they want to go - that's all it takes to collect and steer a herd.
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  • Profile picture of the author KatyaSenina
    I'm actually in the same niche.

    Anyway, competition is everywhere, that means it's a great market where money is to be made, don't let it intimidate you.
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  • Profile picture of the author dougp
    Originally Posted by Anoopchawla View Post

    Hey guys, I am currently planning to start a blog on dating advice, since it is one of my favorite topics and I have invested countless hours of study to educate myself.

    But the thing is When i look at other dating blogs I feel as if I have nothing better to offer in comparison to those established blogs.

    I have heard famous bloggers like Yaro saying don't get yourself involved in a niche If you can't offer info in a new way.

    Now I don't understand why should I offer info in a new way when I know something which works.

    Is this niche overly populated? ( I know I am over-thinking this stuff but it would be really nice to see some experienced warriors in this discussion)
    If you dont feel confident enough than you shouldn't bother as your lack of confidence will surely manifest itself in everything you do in your business.
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